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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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vern

Member
I actually don't find people who travel all that interesting lol.

It's not just the act of travel. But that is an odd thing to say. Simply having access to a wider range of places, cultures, sports, foods, environments, etc., should put you in a place to experience more interesting things. Just the sheer variety of opportunities afforded you being in new places with new people on a constant basis should make you have some interesting life experiences. Obviously interesting is subjective.

What kind of person is interesting to you though? If you had the choice of a girl who never left her hometown vs one that has traveled the earth and you knew nothing else about them, you would guess who had more interesting stories to share with you?
 

pieface

Member
Finished another date but I feel like I might have blown it. Apparently I tried to make out with the girl and got a peck in the lips but said she doesn't do PDA then walked off with a bit of a smile. Date went pretty well otherwise. I didn't talk about myself as much and it was very light/flirty. There was touching from both sides. Am I overthinking about it or did I blow it? I felt a bit awkward as I walked off. More details can be elaborated on later.

Edit: Autocorrect. Gotta love Android phones.

You're over-thinking it.

Though... "apparently" you tried to make out with her? Were you pissed? Do you not remember if you did or didn't?

If there was touching from both sides and you got a kiss (even a peck) then that's good. Her body language wouldn't be positive (touchy) towards you if she weren't into you. She would have been reserved.
 

gaiages

Banned
Dude. That's the definition of being full of yourself

Being full of yourself =/= having something positive to say about yourself, or being confident in what you've done.

Adding to the 'what's interesting' talk, even small things can be deemed interesting, it doesn't always have to be some huge thing. An unusual amount of people are interested in the fact that I moved from New York state to Florida, for example, and ask a billion questions about why I moved and so on. Even that little thing is interesting to some people. I don't fine myself a particularly interesting person, but there's always something (or multiple things) you can find about yourself that are at least conversation worthy.
 
I actually don't find people who travel all that interesting lol.

Dude. That's the definition of being full of yourself

Ayyy lmao to both of you. 😉

Zackie and I dated once. He was full of himself for sure but I found it endearing. Also we had pizza, pizza dates are impossible to mess up. I highly recommend pizza if you are gonna do dinner as a first date.

That poutine, tho.
 

Astral

Member
It's not just the act of travel. But that is an odd thing to say. Simply having access to a wider range of places, cultures, sports, foods, environments, etc., should put you in a place to experience more interesting things. Just the sheer variety of opportunities afforded you being in new places with new people on a constant basis should make you have some interesting life experiences. Obviously interesting is subjective.

What kind of person is interesting to you though? If you had the choice of a girl who never left her hometown vs one that has traveled the earth and you knew nothing else about them, you would guess who had more interesting stories to share with you?

I guess you're right that traveling can definitely expose you to a lot of different things that can lead to interesting experiences. That's just a small factor imo though. You really need the personality to back it up. I know a girl who travels a lot but she's extremely boring. She talks about the different sites and the different things she did but she's just very bland. I guess I didn't sense a passion for anything. Passion for me to is interesting. Passion in anything as long as it's not borderline obsessive. I think it's interesting listening to what people really love. I also like people who are genuinely very kind and loving, nonjudgmental, and I guess altruistic. It's probably because I can sometimes be very cynical and I think it's interesting how some people can think so positively about anything.
 
I guess you're right that traveling can definitely expose you to a lot of different things that can lead to interesting experiences. That's just a small factor imo though. You really need the personality to back it up. I know a girl who travels a lot but she's extremely boring. She talks about the different sites and the different things she did but she's just very bland. I guess I didn't sense a passion for anything. Passion for me to is interesting. Passion in anything as long as it's not borderline obsessive. I think it's interesting listening to what people really love. I also like people who are genuinely very kind and loving, nonjudgmental, and I guess altruistic. It's probably because I can sometimes be very cynical and I think it's interesting how some people can think so positively about anything.

Soooooo, you find boring people boring? Has nothing to do with travel, so I'm not sure why you had to be a dick to me earlier. Maybe a little more information beyond that one dismissive line would have been better to explain your position?
 

Astral

Member
Soooooo, you find boring people boring? Has nothing to do with travel, so I'm not sure why you had to be a dick to me earlier. Maybe a little more information beyond that one dismissive line would have been better to explain your position?

Lol oops. I wasn't trying to be a dick to you. That's why I put an "lol" to show I wasn't being dead serious but that failed lol. What I really meant was that traveling by itself does not make someone interesting at all imo and it shouldn't be something people looking to be more interesting should focus completely on. You can travel and still be boring as shit. Zackie you're such a character that's it's hard to call you boring. I do wish I could go to China though.
 
That isn't what you said at all. Missed the lol because my eyes were full of tears by the time I got to the end of the sentence. 😉
 

Ultima_5

Member
Not really. He simply recognizes his self-worth and radiates that in a positive way. He isn't looking down on others or thinking the entire world revolves around him.

Nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, it's something people who lack confidence in themselves should try to emulate.

Idk dude. As someone who just skims the thread every once in awhile, he post that stuff constantly. Pretty much as a response every time someone says they think that they're boring. That's not constructive. That's self flagellation.
 
Idk dude. As someone who just skims the thread every once in awhile, he post that stuff constantly. Pretty much as a response every time someone says they think that they're boring. That's not constructive. That's self flagellation.

It's just an example. Maybe it can inspire people to try something new and become more interesting?

I notice that you don't post much to help, nor do you say the same comments to the people who post the same problems every week. So maybe try doing something constructive in the thread instead?
 

TheOfficeMut

Unconfirmed Member
This is really silly. I wish women would stop perpetuating the age-old idea that men need to initiate and carry a conversation all on their own. Mind you I've met a lot of women who aren't like this, but I can't say it's been great online.

I made a Tinder recently and got a number of hits. When I went to message some of them, I asked about details that caught my eye and they either did not answer or just said "yes" and nothing more. This one in particular is bugging me and I'm not sure why. She put up several pictures of her with another person who looks nearly identical, and her profile says "I'm the better looking one." Well, out of curiosity I decided to ask and guess. I asked where she's from, told her I think she's the one on the left, and so on. She responded with "maybe."

God damn. You fucking people man. Learn to carry a conversation. And now that I'll be opting out of speaking to her and many others like her ever again, they'll probably think that I was the boring one when they didn't say anything.

-_-
 
This is really silly. I wish women would stop perpetuating the age-old idea that men need to initiate and carry a conversation all on their own. Mind you I've met a lot of women who aren't like this, but I can't say it's been great online.

I made a Tinder recently and got a number of hits. When I went to message some of them, I asked about details that caught my eye and they either did not answer or just said "yes" and nothing more. This one in particular is bugging me and I'm not sure why. She put up several pictures of her with another person who looks nearly identical, and her profile says "I'm the better looking one." Well, out of curiosity I decided to ask and guess. I asked where she's from, told her I think she's the one on the left, and so on. She responded with "maybe."

God damn. You fucking people man. Learn to carry a conversation. And now that I'll be opting out of speaking to her and many others like her ever again, they'll probably think that I was the boring one when they didn't say anything.

-_-

They most likely have a ton of online suitors - you gotta step your game up and make the conversation continue. It's a seller's market.
 

bluethree

Member
Funny story - I deleted and restarted my tinder account (heard your match percentage goes up this way) and have actually rematched with a few people. One of these girls, I originally tried finding something on her profile to comment on like all online dating advice tells you to. No response.

2nd time? "hey :) cute pictures" and now we're in the middle of a long conversation where her replies are paragraphs long :p Yeah I dont get it either.

I dont have a problem with replies/continuing conversation, but I am running into a lot of girls who use it more as a chat program and ghost when you try to meet or take the conversation off tinder -_-

They most likely have a ton of online suitors - you gotta step your game up and make the conversation continue. It's a seller's market.

I generally agree with this, but I hate the idea that the burden to make the conversation interesting lies on the guy alone. If I'm consistently getting one word answers from someone on Tinder or another site I'm going to bail so fast in favor of someone who actually seems to be able to have an interesting conversation.
 
Better to get the ghosting over with quickly, so ask for that meet up asap. But you know that!

As for your edit - most guys on there are thirsty as hell, so they put up with it. Then it becomes the norm. The good matches are the ones who actually make conversation, of course.
 

Jokab

Member
I generally agree with this, but I hate the idea that the burden to make the conversation interesting lies on the guy alone. If I'm consistently getting one word answers from someone on Tinder or another site I'm going to bail so fast in favor of someone who actually seems to be able to have an interesting conversation.

I hate this also. One of the very few girls that wrote to me first is also perhaps the cutest that I've ever matched with. We're going strong on three months now. So treasure the times you get messaged first.
 

bluethree

Member
Better to get the ghosting over with quickly, so ask for that meet up asap. But you know that!

As for your edit - most guys on there are thirsty as hell, so they put up with it. Then it becomes the norm. The good matches are the ones who actually make conversation, of course.

then you can move on to the next level of time wasting - girls who agree to a date then ghost halfway through setting up plans ;)

(thankfully not the norm though)
 
then you can move on to the next level of time wasting - girls who agree to a date then ghost halfway through setting up plans ;)

(thankfully not the norm though)

Happened to me this week, though she didn't ghost. Just didn't answer the message until next day, with an "I forgot." Mmmhmmm.
 

bluethree

Member
Happened to me this week, though she didn't ghost. Just didn't answer the message until next day, with an "I forgot." Mmmhmmm.

"I forgot because my Plan A distracted me, sorry lol"

I had a girl recently who waited a week to respond while setting up plans and I was like lol no sorry, good luck to you.

That said, I had a date last night (an otherwise shitty one but it led to this conversation) where the girl lamented that she and her friends get genuinely busy sometimes and forget to reply until later, at which point the guy stops responding.

So it's not always BS...In general I give a bit more leeway on these things if we haven't met yet since I don't expect her to make a stranger her priority. After we've met though, if I'm not feeling a higher level of investment I don't push things that hard, if at all.
 
This is really silly. I wish women would stop perpetuating the age-old idea that men need to initiate and carry a conversation all on their own. Mind you I've met a lot of women who aren't like this, but I can't say it's been great online.

I made a Tinder recently and got a number of hits. When I went to message some of them, I asked about details that caught my eye and they either did not answer or just said "yes" and nothing more. This one in particular is bugging me and I'm not sure why. She put up several pictures of her with another person who looks nearly identical, and her profile says "I'm the better looking one." Well, out of curiosity I decided to ask and guess. I asked where she's from, told her I think she's the one on the left, and so on. She responded with "maybe."

God damn. You fucking people man. Learn to carry a conversation. And now that I'll be opting out of speaking to her and many others like her ever again, they'll probably think that I was the boring one when they didn't say anything.

-_-

They get tons of messages. So if all you get is maybe than they probably just are in it for attention. Also, if you do all the talking generally you just bail quick. Not going anywhere. On the flip if the convo goes well ask for the date relatively quickly.
 

vern

Member
Not sure if it's date, I barely even know what she looks like, but tomorrow I'm going to Shanghai Fashion Week with a Tantan girl. We just matched tonight and she asked me out right away (10 minutes of convo or so). I've never been to something like this so it should be a good experience. She claims to be a fashion designer and has some backstage passes. Hope I see some of that crazy hobo fashion GAF likes to post.
 

gwailo

Banned
This is really silly. I wish women would stop perpetuating the age-old idea that men need to initiate and carry a conversation all on their own. Mind you I've met a lot of women who aren't like this, but I can't say it's been great online.

I made a Tinder recently and got a number of hits. When I went to message some of them, I asked about details that caught my eye and they either did not answer or just said "yes" and nothing more. This one in particular is bugging me and I'm not sure why. She put up several pictures of her with another person who looks nearly identical, and her profile says "I'm the better looking one." Well, out of curiosity I decided to ask and guess. I asked where she's from, told her I think she's the one on the left, and so on. She responded with "maybe."

God damn. You fucking people man. Learn to carry a conversation. And now that I'll be opting out of speaking to her and many others like her ever again, they'll probably think that I was the boring one when they didn't say anything.

-_-

You need to switch up your technique. Any halfway decent looking girl will get dozens and dozens of messages a day. Half of them will be basic "hi/you're hot/wanna fuck" and the other half are "clever" people who think they have cracked the code by sending a message based on something on their profile. As has been pointed out on here, just because you like the same band or TV show as the person, that doesn't really mean you will be compatible at all

So basically they have seen the same thing over and over, probably multiple times a day. Yes, there are a lot of socially inept people (or just bad texters/messengers) on OLD, but generally, if you are getting one word responses, you're not saying anything interesting (to them at least) to get the conversation going.

I got more results with just sending bizarre/random messages than anything else.
 

Salamando

Member
Man, speaking of girls for whom travel doesn't necessarily mean interesting. This girl was born in Germany back when there were two of 'em, came to America when she was a teenager. Asked her about the move, the story began and ended with "My mom was from Boston".

You need to switch up your technique. Any halfway decent looking girl will get dozens and dozens of messages a day. Half of them will be basic "hi/you're hot/wanna fuck" and the other half are "clever" people who think they have cracked the code by sending a message based on something on their profile. As has been pointed out on here, just because you like the same band or TV show as the person, that doesn't really mean you will be compatible at all

So basically they have seen the same thing over and over, probably multiple times a day. Yes, there are a lot of socially inept people (or just bad texters/messengers) on OLD, but generally, if you are getting one word responses, you're not saying anything interesting (to them at least) to get the conversation going.

I got more results with just sending bizarre/random messages than anything else.

Taking the clever approach used to work well, until the advice propagated like mad here, on reddit, in books...fully expect the random question approach to meet the same fate once girls' inboxes are full of "Marry/Sex/Kill - Pizza, Tacos, Sushi?"
 

n64coder

Member
then you can move on to the next level of time wasting - girls who agree to a date then ghost halfway through setting up plans ;)

(thankfully not the norm though)

I can understand that happening. Essentially you're arranging a blind date. At least you have some pictures. I have gone on some blind dates where I had no idea what she looked like. That was nerve wracking but I did follow through and had a great time with them once the initial shock wore off.
 

Scotch

Member
You need to switch up your technique. Any halfway decent looking girl will get dozens and dozens of messages a day. Half of them will be basic "hi/you're hot/wanna fuck" and the other half are "clever" people who think they have cracked the code by sending a message based on something on their profile. As has been pointed out on here, just because you like the same band or TV show as the person, that doesn't really mean you will be compatible at all

So basically they have seen the same thing over and over, probably multiple times a day. Yes, there are a lot of socially inept people (or just bad texters/messengers) on OLD, but generally, if you are getting one word responses, you're not saying anything interesting (to them at least) to get the conversation going.

I got more results with just sending bizarre/random messages than anything else.
I've had women message me first with simple "hi"'s, and then when I tried to get a conversation going they replied with only single sentence responses. Some women are just really boring. There's no need to put up with that stuff, doesn't matter how hot they are.
 

Starviper

Member
So i've been with this girl for around 9 months. Like her a lot but we keep getting into arguments.

Like tonight I sent her a picture of herself taking a selfie, which I thought was kinda funny // cute. She points out it was an unflattering photo and starts saying she didn't want to eat food because she felt self conscious. Knew where it was going so I tried to de-escalate, but it got taken the wrong way and she just says she doesn't want to talk anymore and hates herself. Go and check twitter sometime later and she's chatting away with some other friends.

Anyone else deal with stuff like this? Like it'll blow over and be fine, but it's frustrating as hell. I got shit a few days ago because i'm "not fun" because I didn't work off her mispronouncing Basil and asked her to repeat it. Then tonight it's like.. I'm getting blown up at for taking a photo of her taking a selfie.
 

Scotch

Member
I just need to vent.

I had a really fun date last night with a gorgeous woman. She was mesmerizing. We got along well, laughed a lot, and stayed till the bar closed. When we walked back to the station I tried to kiss her, and she turned her lips and kissed me on the cheeks. When I asked later if she wanted to meet again she said she would, but only as friends.

I've been in the reverse situation before where I had a really fun date with a girl, but I just wasn't into her physically. So I understand this stuff happens. But man, it still stings.
 

Starviper

Member
That's why I never get past the honeymoon phase anymore. No chance to get to the point of constant fighting. I hate that nonsense.

Yeah idk man. Honestly trying to hold onto some hope that things will be alright. Was actually going to see a therapist on Monday to talk about some of this because it's become a major point of stress. It's not the only thing by any means, but it has an effect.

I just need to vent.

I had a really fun date last night with a gorgeous woman. She was mesmerizing. We got along well, laughed a lot, and stayed till the bar closed. When we walked back to the station I tried to kiss her, and she turned her lips and kissed me on the cheeks. When I asked later if she wanted to meet again she said she would, but only as friends.

I've been in the reverse situation before where I had a really fun date with a girl, but I just wasn't into her physically. So I understand this stuff happens. But man, it still stings.

Yeah it's never fun to be in that position. I've had a few dates like that. Also had a few where they were way too into me and it was a huge turn off. Like one girl told her parents about me after two dates..
 

Llyranor

Member
So i've been with this girl for around 9 months. Like her a lot but we keep getting into arguments.

Like tonight I sent her a picture of herself taking a selfie, which I thought was kinda funny // cute. She points out it was an unflattering photo and starts saying she didn't want to eat food because she felt self conscious. Knew where it was going so I tried to de-escalate, but it got taken the wrong way and she just says she doesn't want to talk anymore and hates herself. Go and check twitter sometime later and she's chatting away with some other friends.

Anyone else deal with stuff like this? Like it'll blow over and be fine, but it's frustrating as hell. I got shit a few days ago because i'm "not fun" because I didn't work off her mispronouncing Basil and asked her to repeat it. Then tonight it's like.. I'm getting blown up at for taking a photo of her taking a selfie.

Sounds to me like manufactured drama. Why is she testing you? Has the relationship gone too 'routine'?
 

Kurtofan

Member
Not necessarilly a dating related questions, but what do you do when plans are cancelled? do you still go out?

I kind of have a fear of going out late, I was thinking I might try it tonight but I have no idea what to do (not interested in dating).
 

gaiages

Banned
So i've been with this girl for around 9 months. Like her a lot but we keep getting into arguments.

Like tonight I sent her a picture of herself taking a selfie, which I thought was kinda funny // cute. She points out it was an unflattering photo and starts saying she didn't want to eat food because she felt self conscious. Knew where it was going so I tried to de-escalate, but it got taken the wrong way and she just says she doesn't want to talk anymore and hates herself. Go and check twitter sometime later and she's chatting away with some other friends.

Anyone else deal with stuff like this? Like it'll blow over and be fine, but it's frustrating as hell. I got shit a few days ago because i'm "not fun" because I didn't work off her mispronouncing Basil and asked her to repeat it. Then tonight it's like.. I'm getting blown up at for taking a photo of her taking a selfie.

Uh... that's some intense shit. I mean she needs to talk to a therapist type shit. Reacting like that to an unflattering photo that (I assume) was privately sent is way too much.

Well unless she's overblowing that on purpose, like Llyanor said.

Not necessarilly a dating related questions, but what do you do when plans are cancelled? do you still go out?

I kind of have a fear of going out late, I was thinking I might try it tonight but I have no idea what to do (not interested in dating).

? You don't have to go out if you don't want to? Sorry I've been inactive in here recently, so I don't know your situation. If you want to go out and meet people but not in a dating sense, I recommend more meeting groups of people with similar interests (like Meetup if that's active in your area), most groups meet during the day, too.
 

Kurtofan

Member
? You don't have to go out if you don't want to? Sorry I've been inactive in here recently, so I don't know your situation. If you want to go out and meet people but not in a dating sense, I recommend more meeting groups of people with similar interests (like Meetup if that's active in your area), most groups meet during the day, too.

Never heard of Meetup before, I was registered on something similar to meetup, but holy moley meetup looks much more professional!

There seems to be a lot of activities in English too, which was sorely lacking on the French website I was on. Thanks so much for the suggestion.
 
Hmm, somehow I've been lucking out that people have been looking better than their pictures... Also, girl somehow didn't mention she likes hockey a lot when we were talking sports lol
 

Jokab

Member
Hmm, somehow I've been lucking out that people have been looking better than their pictures... Also, girl somehow didn't mention she likes hockey a lot when we were talking sports lol

Yeah same, all except two girls have been better looking, some I'd call way better looking. At least I striked in on that account.
 
Yeah same, all except two girls have been better looking, some I'd call way better looking. At least I striked in on that account.

Yeah last 2 or 3 have been like that. Like not unattractive since I matched with them but definitely better looking in person, and it wasn't a makeup thing or anything like that. Just kind of funny since most people seem to experience the opposite.
 

AnAnole

Member
Anyone else find that matches tend to come in waves? I'll go several days or even a couple weeks without a match, then I'll get several in a row. Yesterday a really cute nurse matched with me on Tinder and actually initiated the conversation. She's still talking to me today, so I think that's a good sign. I always get stuck on when I should ask for a number...sometimes it seems if you don't ask immediately, you're not interested but other women act like you're desperate if you ask too soon.
 
Anyone else find that matches tend to come in waves? I'll go several days or even a couple weeks without a match, then I'll get several in a row. Yesterday a really cute nurse matched with me on Tinder and actually initiated the conversation. She's still talking to me today, so I think that's a good sign. I always get stuck on when I should ask for a number...sometimes it seems if you don't ask immediately, you're not interested but other women act like you're desperate if you ask too soon.

Yeah, I've gotten the same a lot too. Nothing for weeks and then like 6 matches in a day or two.
 
I got another like on OkCupid, I wish I could find out who they were without paying for a subscription. Coincided with a really attractive girl viewing my profile though. I seem to get interest only from girls who are into anime/video games for some reason, need to diversify my appeal. Knowing that some people actually do consider me attractive is one hell of a revelation.
 

stn

Member
Thought I'd post this for you guys, just want to add some insight into "signals" and why its useless to wonder over them. Went to a wedding, was seated next to a girl I hadn't previously met. We started talking the whole night. At one point she started touching my wrist and shoulder, thereby breaking GAF's patented Touch Barrier *inserttrademark.gif*. She must have wanted the 'D at that point, right?

Later, her mutual friend came by and asked if her boyfriend was joining. She said "no," we continued talking. Ended up getting her number. My conclusion is that she was just a very friendly and out-going person, and the touching was just a sign of comfort (I tend to get very comfortable very quickly around strangers myself). And she honestly didn't strike me as the type that would try to pick a guy up behind her boyfriend's back.

Cliff notes: Think a girl likes you? Ask her out. Think a girl doesn't like you? Ask her out.
 

torontoml

Member
Going on a date with a girl I matched with on tinder tomorrow. Is it OK to inquire if they are looking for a one night thing or longer?
 
Going on a date with a girl I matched with on tinder tomorrow. Is it OK to inquire if they are looking for a one night thing or longer?

I think that most who are looking for a one night thing aren't going to say it outright. Just meet up and see where it goes. Will you change how you act, depending on the answer?
 

torontoml

Member
I think that most who are looking for a one night thing aren't going to say it outright. Just meet up and see where it goes. Will you change how you act, depending on the answer?
Probably not, this is only the second date I have ever had so I'm just trying to figure this shit out.
 
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