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[Majine]

So my girlfriend yesterday expressed some concerns for our future, which started a long discussion which ended in the early hours with us basically breaking up but leaving the door open. I didn't take it so well. I was so determined she was the one, so it feels like life has ended now even tho it hasn't. I'm a mess, I haven't eaten in almost a day. Nothing feels like it matters.

I guess I'm not looking for sympathies, but rather what is your best cure, perhaps from experience?

 

[kavanf1]

1. Time.
2. Realising that there's no such thing as "the one", unless your name is Neo.

Hope you bounce back ok.

 

[Hoho for breakfast]

Time. Stay busy.

 

[tell yourself.]

my condolences.

and when i read your post again, enjoy breathing, life is beautiful.

 

[yogloo]

I was so determined she was the one, so it feels like life has ended now even tho it hasn't.

I think that's a terrible mindset to have in a relationship. There's no "the one."
That mentality tends to develop into an unbalanced relationship.

Live and learn my friend.

 

[gdt]

Plenty of other fish dude, you'll get over just fine. Play some video games.

 

[akira28]

moving on and never looking back.

getting that "I'm unsure about us, lets take a break and maybe get back together later." discussion is such a drag, and no one has that much time to put their lives on hold or on reverse until people figure themselves out.

so live your life in order to be happy, and if she comes back into your life and it works, great. but don't wait on anything, and don't chase after anyone. life is too short.

 

[SynthFetish]

When my wife gave me the boot and filed for divorce out of the blue, I moved across the country, drank a lot and met the greatest woman I've ever met.

Give it time bro, give it time.

 

[the_batman]

i know that feeling. it was the worst thing to ever happen to me.

pretty much time is the only thing that will heal you, but also keep at your daily routine.

 

[Clydefrog]

Sorry, buddy. I've been through that, believe me. I loved her deeply in my 20s for 4+ years. Then it all fell apart.

Time heals all wounds though. You still have time to not end up like me. BETTER HURRY THOUGH ;D

 

[Fliesen]

1. Time.
2. Realising that there's no such thing as "the one", unless your name is Neo.

Hope you bounce back ok.

yup and yup and yup.

what you need to do is: remove her from your social feed. There's nothing worse than constantly being reminded of the person that means / meant so much to you. Go cold turkey.

Also, try to make the best of it. You were kinda forced to change the course of your life - go along with it. Use the time that was previously consumed by "spending time together" for new projects. Work out. Read. Paint? ...

 

[MrS]

Prepare to recreate the masturbation scene from Mulholland Drive. A lot.

 

[DiscoJer]

Well, from experience, one thing not to do: take lots of drugs and black out for 3 months.


To this day, I am afraid I did something in those months I can't remember.

 

[Wvrs]

If it helps, you will feel better. A few years ago I fell in love for the first time and eventually when she broke up with me, I was devastated. Totally crushed.

Then a year later I met someone else... And that actually just ended, but this time it was me who ended it, because I knew it was for the best.

I wouldn't have known that if I'd not already experienced heartbreak. It will make you a stronger person.

 

[Piichan]

A good cure is to enjoy your newly obtained freedom. Go out, drink with friends, hit on girls, etc.

 

[exmachina64]

1. Eat some food.
2. Get out and do some things like exercising or seeing a movie,
3. Hang out with friends or meet new people.
4. Try to remember that it will take time to process everything and move on.

 

[T-Rex.]

The best cure is hanging out with your bros. On your own it's easy to overthink things and go over certain moments in your head, but if you're hanging out with people that you like and care for you, your attention is elsewhere.

 

[Dot Matrix]

So my girlfriend yesterday expressed some concerns for our future, which started a long discussion which ended in the early hours with us basically breaking up but leaving the door open. I didn't take it so well. I was so determined she was the one, so it feels like life has ended now even tho it hasn't. I'm a mess, I haven't eaten in almost a day. Nothing feels like it matters.

I guess I'm not looking for sympathies, but rather what is your best cure, perhaps from experience?

That's bullshit, you're either broken up or you aren't. Get a definite answer either way or you'll never be able to make any real attempt at moving on or getting over it.

 

[Servbot24]

There's no cure. You just have to be miserable for a few months. Throwing yourself head first into some healthy hobbies as well as spending time with friends (preferably single friends) can help a little bit.

 

[Endorphineforeverybody]

Oh I'm sorry for you. Its terrible i know. Please look that you eat at least some bread or soup. If you can, make a trip to where ever you can think it through. Give yourself some time. Dont drink or do drugs till you feel better. Again put your chin up, think of the real important things in life. All the best to you

 

[Jindrax]

Literally the only thing that'll help. Is taking time.
Especially as a guy, this crap is going to haunt you for a while.
But it's not an excuse to let your life go to shit.
Don't give up on your health, school, work. This is the time to become the best version of yourself. As humans we all need a drive to make advancements. You have one now.

 

[SomedayTheFire]

have a beer. chill. go see somewhere in the world you want to see. there's no cure. no easy way out.

 

[Raylan]

Time. Stay busy.

This!

Time will heal the wounds, as always. And stay busy. Do something. Don't cry in a corner. Do something with your friends, get a hobby, play games, watch movies, go outside. Do something.

 

[ZeroGravity]

From my experience, get back out there as soon as you can. The best cure is to find someone even better.

Best of luck.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Don't forget to remove her from social media if you use any, or at least hide her posts.

 

[Oni Jazar]

Change your scenery and behavior helps. Don't get stuck in a rut, get out meet new people even if just friends, work on improving yourself. Go to the gym, take classes somewhere if you're not in school. Don't try to get that person back by bugging them just take this opportunity to explore new things and better yourself. Keep your mind and body busy and tired.

 

[MadraptorMan]

I am going through a divorce right now and I'm not the one who wanted it so I know how you feel. Let's hope there's someone better out there for both of us.

 

[The Hermit]

How old are you?

Like any investment, if you put everything in one account and for some reason it ends bad, obviously you are going take a while to recover the losses.

Take your time, recover your strength/self value (workout for eg) and download Tinder.

No easy way out

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Leaving the door open?

Close that door right now. No time apart, no taking a break to think things through or whatever other nonsense is going to fix that relationship.

It's okay to feel upset but she clearly wasn't the person you're meant to spend a substantial part of your life with. That person is out there somewhere and if you spend too much time moping around or waste time trying to fix something that won't ever be the same, you'll miss this person.

In future, I'd advise you maintain some emotional independence and not make your relationships all about the other person. Don't invest too heavily, mirror investment you feel is coming from your partner but always make sure that if things should end for whatever reason, you don't end up in the situation you're in now with not eating and feeling like it's all over.

 

[Stereogatari]

You just have to feel the pain. Be honest to your feelings. Some people can handle this stuff some people can't. I know I'm the kind of person that is emotional and feels the pain. I just let myself feel the pain because it actually makes me more unhappy if I try and solve the pain.

Then eventually after some time you find the next one randomly. Then the same thing happens again lol.

 

[Incitemaybe]

The One is a belief system, you now have an opportunity to be an adult and create new ways to show love to people in your life. Hope it all turns out interesting for you 😘

 

[Mabufu]

There's more fish in the sea, but you must take oportunities to meet them.
Dont wrap up yourself in your thoughts and memories, put them to the side, go out with your friends and try to have fun. Eventually you will meet THE FISH.

 

[GreatestHits]

I wouldn't listen to most of the advice in this thread. I'm of the belief that we kinda choose our lives before they happen, and things like this change you. It's a process, to go from being dependant and open to someone to self sufficient. Go easy on yourself and let life and the pain teach you whatever it may. Time and the sum of very small steps and changes will hallmark this time of your life. It's not as bad as it seems, but I know it hurts.

 

[DiipuSurotu]

You lost someone that doesn't love you. She lost someone that loves her.

It's her loss.

 

[Mortemis]

Trust me on this, close that door. The easiest way I've found to recover is completely ignoring and getting space. If you're still being friends or thinking you have a chance at getting back, it'll never get better.

Give yourself time and space. Hope you get out of this a happier person that's more equipped for the next one.

 

[knavish]

dude I feel your pain. I've been through similar at the end of last year.

as many have said, and i know its very cliched, but time is a good healer. Have a break from seeing each other but know youre both going through the same thing and i'm sure that if you needed to talk tl her about it then she'd be ok with that. It certainly worked for me and my ex.

 

[knavish]

Trust me on this, close that door. The easiest way I've found to recover is completely ignoring and getting space. If you're still being friends or thinking you have a chance at getting back, it'll never get better.

Give yourself time and space. Hope you get out of this a happier person that's more equipped for the next one.

i guess it totallu depends on what their relationship is like. i couldnt have dealt with my break up without my ex and i being able to talk through our ups and downs during it all. we also have a cat together and i regularly see her and staying friends was very important to both of us....that being said neither of plans to get back together and we are getting on with our lives.

 

[DaMasta113]

Keep yourself busy. Go to work. Go to the gym. Watch movies. Play games. Read a book. The fact is, everyone is a guest in your life. People come and go. Nothing has to be permanent.

 

[Screaming Meat]

So my girlfriend yesterday expressed some concerns for our future, which started a long discussion which ended in the early hours with us basically breaking up but leaving the door open. I didn't take it so well. I was so determined she was the one, so it feels like life has ended now even tho it hasn't. I'm a mess, I haven't eaten in almost a day. Nothing feels like it matters.

I guess I'm not looking for sympathies, but rather what is your best cure, perhaps from experience?

I feel for you. Unfortunately, this is something you just have to ride out, mate.

So you know that you're not alone, here's a super depressing but absolutely gorgeous song on that very subject.

 

[esmith08734]

It is going to take a good amount of time, but time heals. It's best to start the clean slate and not remain in contact.

 

[Dryk]

I've just been slowly spiraling the last few months as I realise that nobody gives the least amount of shit about me romantically. I hope you have better luck OP.

 

[GreatestHits]

It is going to take a good amount of time, but time heals. It's best to start the clean slate and not remain in contact.

Yes. My experience with this is with my son's mother, so I can't cut contact. It makes the whole process 100x harder. Fuck we were all sleeping in the same bed the last 2 weeks too. It's easy to see that if she were a memory, she'd get smaller and smaller to me every day. It's been 3 years (after a 4 year relationship) and even doing it in this fucked up way, it gets easier and it goes away

I've just been slowly spiraling the last few months as I realise that nobody gives the least amount of shit about me romantically. I hope you have better luck OP.

Focus on how much you love yourself, not them

 

[soxinthebox]

Delete and block her from Facebook. Find more friends if she claims your old ones.

 

[Any Questions]

So my girlfriend yesterday expressed some concerns for our future, which started a long discussion which ended in the early hours with us basically breaking up but leaving the door open. I didn't take it so well. I was so determined she was the one, so it feels like life has ended now even tho it hasn't. I'm a mess, I haven't eaten in almost a day. Nothing feels like it matters.

I guess I'm not looking for sympathies, but rather what is your best cure, perhaps from experience?

If this is the first time you have felt this. The only answer is time.

Experience helps, but time is a healer for a reason.

Keep busy and try meditation. Look up audio dhama. It's amazing.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I've just been slowly spiraling the last few months as I realise that nobody gives the least amount of shit about me romantically. I hope you have better luck OP.

Maybe don't fall into this trap of self hate and loathing? So what if no-one likes you romantically right now. Why don't you take the opportunity to better yourself, work on loving yourself, work on finding validation through your own actions/yourself rather than needing it from other people.

No-one can give you self respect, no-one can you give the validation that makes you feel like a better, more fulfilled person. You have to do that yourself.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Cut off all social media from her, that just makes it worse. Try and find a new show to get hooked on for a couple weeks.

 

[Symphonia]

Maybe don't fall into this trap of self hate and loathing? So what if no-one likes you romantically right now.

Ignorance is bliss, eh?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Ignorance is bliss, eh?

There's so much more to life than focusing on being romantically engaged with someone.

Why waste life worrying about that one aspect when you could be doing so much more and through going out and enjoying life, you might find that people naturally gravitate towards you and you might also find that your romantic prospects increase as a result.

 

[Messofanego]

Work on yourself, love yourself, enjoy activities that you can only do as a single person, don't see a girlfriend/SO as completing you as if you're a half-person, and stop believing in the destructive philosophy of "the one".

 

[Symphonia]

There's so much more to life than focusing on being romantically engaged with someone.

Why waste life worrying about that one aspect when you could be doing so much more and through going out and enjoying life, you might find that people naturally gravitate towards you and you might also find that your romantic prospects increase as a result.

Break ups affect every one on a different level. When my ex-girlfriend and I split up (we were together for five years), I was devestated. I felt like a huge part of my life was missing, that there was a huge hole in it that could not be filled.