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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Had a sitcom moment while on a date the other day.

As I walked her to her car after our meal, a guy gets out of his car, about 4 car stall down, and yells "hello there", and I'm like, well, that guy's friendly, but the girl I was with turned bright red and said, "he's an ex-boyfriend", and she's all "he's not walking towards us is he?", and I say, "no, he's going the other way", which relieved her a bit. I had to say, "man that must suck, but don't sweat it". I tried to put myself in her shoes, and I was all, yeah, that would've sucked. Thankfully, when it was obvious he was gone, she laughed at the situation.

I worked in a store in the mall when I was younger and one morning completely by coincidence and independently 4 of my ex's all passed by the store and stopped to chat to me at the same time. Only one of them knew I'd slept with one of the another girls but I was sweating in case the conversation between these girls went that way.
 
I'm in Europe, here once you graduate it's all the same if you want a "desk job" solving small crimes or wear the uniform and pick up drunkards from the street.

I guess if you want to work homicide or larger crimes you need more experience.

But yeah, she's young as for many people it takes years to even get into the academy, she passed on the first try.

In my part of Australia, you join the police (which is pretty damn hard right now due to an 'equal' recruitment program) and do 3/4 years service, during which you can elect to complete additional study and assignments over the 3 year tenure. Upon completion and advancement of rank, you can apply for the detectives which is a specialised branch. Your experience, assignment quality and merit are assessed and then you might get a spot if you're lucky.

becuse she's not already tired of Police based pick up puns already.

Detectives generally work in plain clothes, don't they? Maybe it's different in Canada or the USA or whatever.

I mean, the gun is usually a giveaway, but I wouldn't approach a detective when they're working or on duty haha
 

Xun

Member
I appreciate ya'll for the comments.

I've got more closure than I got with the American girl (the one who gave me mono...), so I'm thankful for that at least. I also know for this reason I'll get over her quicker.

Also it may seem like I want to settle, but I honestly don't and I unexpectedly caught feelings for her. In some ways I feel closer to her age, especially since I've only really been dating properly for the past couple of years thanks to my anxiety.

It's for this reason I just need to have fun for a bit and not let myself catch feelings for a while. I just wish I was getting matches on Tinder... :(

I don't think my profile is bad, but maybe it just takes a while since I reset it?
Would anyone mind looking over my profile pictures?

If you quote this post you'll see the links to the individual pages of my profile. I've also got another picture I may add, but we shall see.

I managed to get a decent amount of matches a few months back (about 30 a day), but I've had 3 since resetting it on Saturday... ��

I just want to get dating again since it's not healthy letting my mind mull over this like I am.
 
Would anyone mind looking over my profile pictures?

If you quote this post you'll see the links to the individual pages of my profile. I've also got another picture I may add, but we shall see.

I managed to get a decent amount of matches a few months back (about 30 a day), but I've had 3 since resetting it on Saturday... 😥

I just want to get dating again since it's not healthy letting my mind mull over this like I am.


I think the guitar one is the weakest, although it's good that it shows you doing an activity. Maybe swap that one out.
 

Gizuko

Member
I did end up talking with her back then, she was feeling better and was more cheerful. Ended up asking how she coped with stress and she said she usually needs some space, which was the case that day.

We have been talking non-stop since then, and I'm getting the hang of comforting her bit by bit (she did lean on me before, but she'd keep apologizing about it, the whole situation has improved, IMO). It seems she is seriously considering a relationship (said she really liked me, and the way we act is much like a couple's), we have been timidly discussing it, although neither of us has explicitly stated it.

I can't say I want one, but to be fair I need to talk some things over before making up my mind. It's not a matter of not having feelings, but rather, there's this huge red flag I don't know what to do with.

This girl is bisexual, as I'm sure I stated before, so a couple of days ago she told me a man cannot fully fulfill her sexual desires, so she would like to either have threesomes now and then, or be allowed to hook up with other girls.

It wasn't something I wanted to discuss over voice messages/skype, so I told her I would like to think this through, as I don't like the second option and the first seems like it could put a strain on the relationship - we are having some trouble scheduling a date just between the two of us, I can't imagine throwing a third person in there. The both of us are still studying our master's degrees and thus live with our parents, to boot.

I really like her, but this just seems SO self-centered, I'm not sure I want to deal with it. Maybe it's just that I have never placed that much importance on sex, but this whole "let me hook up with others girls" seems so... Frustrating? I mean, "LET" her? I'm not considering an open relationship because I wouldn't feel comfortable, and she knows, wouldn't it be better for her to keep being single so that no one needs to allow her to do whatever the hell she wants? Sorry, I can't get over this whole giving consent thing, at times it seems borderline sexist.

I would probably like having a threesome and hey, perhaps they are hella fun, and would enjoy having one every now and then, but I don't want them to be the foundation of our relationship. I was also a virgin just a bit over a week ago, a threesome seems so out of reach right now I can't properly process that either.

Thank you for letting me vent (yet again) dating GAF.
 
I was also a virgin just a bit over a week ago, a threesome seems so out of reach right now I can't properly process that either.

That would be like trying to beat an end of game JRPG boss without doing any levelling or equipment upgrades. Real threesomes are nothing like porn threesomes.
 
I did end up talking with her back then, she was feeling better and was more cheerful. Ended up asking how she coped with stress and she said she usually needs some space, which was the case that day.

We have been talking non-stop since then, and I'm getting the hang of comforting her bit by bit (she did lean on me before, but she'd keep apologizing about it, the whole situation has improved, IMO). It seems she is seriously considering a relationship (said she really liked me, and the way we act is much like a couple's), we have been timidly discussing it, although neither of us has explicitly stated it.

I can't say I want one, but to be fair I need to talk some things over before making up my mind. It's not a matter of not having feelings, but rather, there's this huge red flag I don't know what to do with.

This girl is bisexual, as I'm sure I stated before, so a couple of days ago she told me a man cannot fully fulfill her sexual desires, so she would like to either have threesomes now and then, or be allowed to hook up with other girls.

It wasn't something I wanted to discuss over voice messages/skype, so I told her I would like to think this through, as I don't like the second option and the first seems like it could put a strain on the relationship - we are having some trouble scheduling a date just between the two of us, I can't imagine throwing a third person in there. The both of us are still studying our master's degrees and thus live with our parents, to boot.

I really like her, but this just seems SO self-centered, I'm not sure I want to deal with it. Maybe it's just that I have never placed that much importance on sex, but this whole "let me hook up with others girls" seems so... Frustrating? I mean, "LET" her? I'm not considering an open relationship because I wouldn't feel comfortable, and she knows, wouldn't it be better for her to keep being single so that no one needs to allow her to do whatever the hell she wants? Sorry, I can't get over this whole giving consent thing, at times it seems borderline sexist.

I would probably like having a threesome and hey, perhaps they are hella fun, and would enjoy having one every now and then, but I don't want them to be the foundation of our relationship. I was also a virgin just a bit over a week ago, a threesome seems so out of reach right now I can't properly process that either.

Thank you for letting me vent (yet again) dating GAF.

Going from virgin to open relationships, that's quite the steep learning curve. Just because she's bisexual, doesn't always mean monoamory is thrown out the window. It's pretty clear you prefer an exclusive relationship and she doesn't. Think it would be healthier for you to start off with a relationship you are more comfortable with than what's happening here.
 

Gizuko

Member
That would be like trying to beat an end of game JRPG boss without doing any levelling or equipment upgrades. Real threesomes are nothing like porn threesomes.

I was thinking of it as using a pidgey to beat the Elite 4, so I can see where you are coming from. It's a bit too much ATM, even if it would be a fun experience down the line.

Going from virgin to open relationships, that's quite the steep learning curve. Just because she's bisexual, doesn't always mean monoamory is thrown out the window. It's pretty clear you prefer an exclusive relationship and she doesn't. Think it would be healthier for you to start off with a relationship you are more comfortable with than what's happening here.

She doesn't seem to like open relationships that much either. She has been through one, and the way she talks about it is so dehumanizing it weirds me out everytime.

I agree with you to be honest, but since we didn't talk much about it (we went off a tanget and ended up talking about how open relationships and polyamory feel) I'd like to go over it once again and decide then.

In any case, this is one of the few things I don't plan to compromise on, I just don't see myself coping well with it, which makes the tentative relationship feel pointless.
 
I did end up talking with her back then, she was feeling better and was more cheerful. Ended up asking how she coped with stress and she said she usually needs some space, which was the case that day.

We have been talking non-stop since then, and I'm getting the hang of comforting her bit by bit (she did lean on me before, but she'd keep apologizing about it, the whole situation has improved, IMO). It seems she is seriously considering a relationship (said she really liked me, and the way we act is much like a couple's), we have been timidly discussing it, although neither of us has explicitly stated it.

I can't say I want one, but to be fair I need to talk some things over before making up my mind. It's not a matter of not having feelings, but rather, there's this huge red flag I don't know what to do with.

This girl is bisexual, as I'm sure I stated before, so a couple of days ago she told me a man cannot fully fulfill her sexual desires, so she would like to either have threesomes now and then, or be allowed to hook up with other girls.

It wasn't something I wanted to discuss over voice messages/skype, so I told her I would like to think this through, as I don't like the second option and the first seems like it could put a strain on the relationship - we are having some trouble scheduling a date just between the two of us, I can't imagine throwing a third person in there. The both of us are still studying our master's degrees and thus live with our parents, to boot.

I really like her, but this just seems SO self-centered, I'm not sure I want to deal with it. Maybe it's just that I have never placed that much importance on sex, but this whole "let me hook up with others girls" seems so... Frustrating? I mean, "LET" her? I'm not considering an open relationship because I wouldn't feel comfortable, and she knows, wouldn't it be better for her to keep being single so that no one needs to allow her to do whatever the hell she wants? Sorry, I can't get over this whole giving consent thing, at times it seems borderline sexist.

I would probably like having a threesome and hey, perhaps they are hella fun, and would enjoy having one every now and then, but I don't want them to be the foundation of our relationship. I was also a virgin just a bit over a week ago, a threesome seems so out of reach right now I can't properly process that either.

Thank you for letting me vent (yet again) dating GAF.

If you want an exclusive relationship this isn't gonna work out. Just tell her that you can't do it so it just seems like this wont work out.
 
No longer single, decided to officially become a couple with the woman I've been dating the past month. I'm excited she's a great girl and I'm excited to see where this goes.
 
Apparently some dude tried picking up my gf last night.

She was going to dinner with some friends. While walking to the car, a dude stopped her. According to her recounting of the events, it arne like this.

Him: Hey! Where are you going?

Me: I'm meeting some friends for dinner.

Him: let me come with you.

Her: no?

Him: the reason I stopped you is because I thought you looked cute.

Her: thanks but I have a boyfriend.

Him: really where is he? Is he in your pocket?

Her: he's not here.

Him: let have your number.

Her: I don't think my boyfriend would like that.

Him: who cares about him. We can have fun.

Her. No thanks. I gotta go.



Now I think she handled this the best she could. I just smh when I see guys try to call out the "I have a boyfriend line". I always figured I already "lost" whenever i got that line when picking up girls.

A dark parking lot probably isn't a good place to pick up girls by the way.
 

Llyranor

Member
She should pull the mama bird card next time. Would scare off most suitors.

But yeah, parking lot, heeeeh. Don't do this. guys.
 
Apparently some dude tried picking up my gf last night.

She was going to dinner with some friends. While walking to the car, a dude stopped her. According to her recounting of the events, it arne like this.

Now I think she handled this the best she could. I just smh when I see guys try to call out the "I have a boyfriend line". I always figured I already "lost" whenever i got that line when picking up girls.

A dark parking lot probably isn't a good place to pick up girls by the way.

It's kinda of funny seeing guys try to oush the I have a bf line as being fake or fuck hin or w/e lol. Anytime I get that line I just politely say "oh bummer, well have a great rest of the night" and it's usually taken very well. I've only ever gotten further being polite versus being a dick. I can't imagine what these dudes are thinking lmao.

Also, lol dark parking lot is definitely a weird place to try.
 
Yeah, I cant think of a worse place. Maybe an empty parking garage.


People already have their guard up in places like that. You want them to feel comfortable when making an advance. Not worried theyre about to be assaulted.
 
I imagine being in an elevator with someone and hitting that stop button so you can ask them out wouldnt go over very well. Especially if you stand in the way of the buttons after.

That dude definitely sounds like a creepazoid mega. Is he in your pocket? Like wtf does that even mean?
 

Raptomex

Member
I don't understand how some dudes just don't get the hint or they're just fucked in the head. Even if the bf statement wasn't true, she's clearly not interested. Back off.
 

artsi

Member
Had lunch today with the police girl, also booked date #3 for thursday. I'm feeling pretty good about this one.
 

MogCakes

Member
So...things are kinda rocky atm. We've been seeing each other 1 to 2 times a week, and I usually sleep over too. Today she told me she doesn't initiate getting together anymore because I say no too much, and that other couples around her see each other far more often. I work a 9 to 5 so time wise I'm not limited, but the drive is 40 minutes and her place is out of the way to my work. I also do things with friends on the days we don't see each other...I've declined her suggestions maybe 2 times because of pre-existing scheduling with friends, but I made sure to be available at some point in the week for her.

Am I not seeing things right from her point of view? I feel like we see each other pretty often as it is. Any more would kill my gas budget. It isn't that I don't want to see her more, but the time and gas investment for doing so is daunting.
 
So...things are kinda rocky atm. We've been seeing each other 1 to 2 times a week, and I usually sleep over too. Today she told me she doesn't initiate getting together anymore because I say no too much, and that other couples around her see each other far more often. I work a 9 to 5 so time wise I'm not limited, but the drive is 40 minutes and her place is out of the way to my work. I also do things with friends on the days we don't see each other...I've declined her suggestions maybe 2 times because of pre-existing scheduling with friends, but I made sure to be available at some point in the week for her.

Am I not seeing things right from her point of view? I feel like we see each other pretty often as it is. Any more would kill my gas budget. It isn't that I don't want to see her more, but the time and gas investment for doing so is daunting.

"She doesn't initiate getting together anymore" basically means she's already checking out of the proto-relationship. That said, it's new, right? 1-2 times a week is fine. Lots of red flags here.
 

Salamando

Member
Girl I've been seeing...I don't think she's racist, but she has made some things oddly racial. For example...

- Driving around town at night, a few kids darted in front of her car. She remarked "If I would've hit them, it would become a black lives matter thing"

- Told her my car was searched upon returning to the US from Canada. She joked a little, before saying "They need to check some cars at random, and it's easier to check yours than a black guy with a big truck. It won't be a race issue"

Along with a number of other comments that would be innocent enough on their own, but don't paint a good picture when put together. Things like "At her age (13), she (my niece) dates black boys only to piss off her parents".
 
Girl I've been seeing...I don't think she's racist, but she has made some things oddly racial. For example...

- Driving around town at night, a few kids darted in front of her car. She remarked "If I would've hit them, it would become a black lives matter thing"

- Told her my car was searched upon returning to the US from Canada. She joked a little, before saying "They need to check some cars at random, and it's easier to check yours than a black guy with a big truck. It won't be a race issue"

Along with a number of other comments that would be innocent enough on their own, but don't paint a good picture when put together. Things like "At her age (13), she (my niece) dates black boys only to piss off her parents".

She's kinda racist.
 
At minimum, she sees color far more than I do.

She does talk negatively of her racist family members. Politically, the's a registered Republican who identifies as Libertarian...voted for Gary Johnson, thinks anyone who voted for Trump is an idiot.

Well that's good at least.
 
Girl I've been seeing...I don't think she's racist, but she has made some things oddly racial. For example...

- Driving around town at night, a few kids darted in front of her car. She remarked "If I would've hit them, it would become a black lives matter thing"

- Told her my car was searched upon returning to the US from Canada. She joked a little, before saying "They need to check some cars at random, and it's easier to check yours than a black guy with a big truck. It won't be a race issue"

Along with a number of other comments that would be innocent enough on their own, but don't paint a good picture when put together. Things like "At her age (13), she (my niece) dates black boys only to piss off her parents".

As a black guy I'll tell you straight up man, this girl is racist. What you choose to do is your business but like, those aint ambiguous bruh.
 
Girl I've been seeing...I don't think she's racist, but she has made some things oddly racial. For example...

- Driving around town at night, a few kids darted in front of her car. She remarked "If I would've hit them, it would become a black lives matter thing"

- Told her my car was searched upon returning to the US from Canada. She joked a little, before saying "They need to check some cars at random, and it's easier to check yours than a black guy with a big truck. It won't be a race issue"

Along with a number of other comments that would be innocent enough on their own, but don't paint a good picture when put together. Things like "At her age (13), she (my niece) dates black boys only to piss off her parents".

Uh yeah, she sounds full blown racist.
 
I have a coworker who is from Thailand. She is married to a black dude, a former Navy SEAL.

They just got back from a trip to Atlanta and Louisiana, visiting his family. He was always treated well by himself, and she was always treated well by herself, but whenever they were together they were treated like shit.

The moment anyone found out they were an interracial couple, the quality of service would drop tremendously. She said they had to stop eating out because their servers would stop and paying attention to them. The struggle is still very much real in.

I am in a much more culturally approved relationship and in California. Even we get off handed comments about how I bought her. She makes like twice as much as I do LOL.
 
This ditzy blonde girl I had a thing with a while back one day just sitting there looks at me and shes like "i hate how we cant say white power but black people can say black power"

I did quite the facepalm and did my best to explain it to her but she just looked at me like a deer caught in headlights the whole time I was talking and I dont think anything was registering.

Fuck she was the most privileged, spoiled, prissy girl I ever met. That thing with her ended in an amazing fashion tho.

I dont think she was so much racist per se, just dumb and ignorant as shit.
 
This ditzy blonde girl I had a thing with a while back one day just sitting there looks at me and shes like "i hate how we cant say white power but black people can say black power"

I did quite the facepalm and did my best to explain it to her but she just looked at me like a deer caught in headlights the whole time I was talking and I dont think anything was registering.

Fuck she was the most privileged, spoiled, prissy girl I ever met. That thing with her ended in an amazing fashion tho.

I dont think she was so much racist per se, just dumb and ignorant as shit.
Anyone honestly talking about why we can't say white power is pretty suspect, though.
 
This ditzy blonde girl I had a thing with a while back one day just sitting there looks at me and shes like "i hate how we cant say white power but black people can say black power"

I did quite the facepalm and did my best to explain it to her but she just looked at me like a deer caught in headlights the whole time I was talking and I dont think anything was registering.

Fuck she was the most privileged, spoiled, prissy girl I ever met. That thing with her ended in an amazing fashion tho.


I dont think she was so much racist per se, just dumb and ignorant as shit.

Please continue
 
I feel kind of sad today and feel embarrassed talking about this, but I see a few people I know in here. My mom stopped at the dollar store near a restaurant I liked to go to where a cute waitress worked. I didn't really talk to her like that at first because I sort of gave up trying to before, but one day she suddenly sat at my table and started asking me personal stuff like what I do. I was caught off guard and accidentally said I was unemployed without saying it outright. But with that I still wasn't sure if she was just being friendly, but over some time I did wanted to ask her out, but going with someone told me a while ago I felt like I shouldn't bother because I didn't and still don't have a car, but when mom stopped by today I decided just to see if she was there.

I asked about her and one of the other waitresses said she no longer works there. I felt like I missed my only opportunity.
 
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