FFXI was just an FF-skinned Everquest with cutscenes. The development of FFXI was pretty similar to FFXIV 2.0. They went and spent some time playing the competition (EQ\WoW) and learned what they wanted to emulate and what they wanted to add\change. FFXI did NOT hold your hand at all. It punished you for everything, and it was glorious...of course it evolved a ton over the years into something much easier and more accessible. I think FFXI suffers from the same stuff WoW does now: an older engine, dwindling playerbase, and smaller staff on call to squeeze every last drop of blood out of the stone.
I missed FFXI, but not sure I could go back again. Already had all jobs at 99 with tons of merits, and rare\drops. I love that they added trusts to make soloing way more feasible for people that don't use 3rd party tools to godmode RDM shit.
FFXIV is very much the same as WoW, but has the benefit of being newer, and a much more cohesive story since it's been largely the same people working on it since 1.23 or earlier. Less people spinning the lore off the rails every other year, and ignoring lose ends.