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I was asked my "preferred pronouns" today when making an appointment. First time this has happened in my experience

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Chittagong

Gold Member
Why does it bother you so much? are you really that fragile?

Genuine question, not troll. If someone wants to be called he / she / they / them whatever the fuck, its their business. Times change for the better over time, being a luddite isn't a good look.

This is where I am at. It’s none of my business. And I’m not going to be an asshole and not call them by their preferred pronoun. It’s just being respectful even if you don’t agree.

I can call people They, Xir, Herm or whatever else makes them happy. Doesn't cost me a thing.

But what triggers me is when obviously male or female people place he/him or she/her next to their name and headshot. That is virtue signalling, they are so woke that they want to put their obvious pronouns up there so that the three people in hundred who have surprising pronouns won't be embarrassed to put up their pronouns.

97 people out of hundred posting their pronouns to pander 3 people, some of who probably are not even bothered in the first place.
 
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sircaw

Banned
Thankfully only been asked this once so far. Was actually ina chemist where i was asked for some reason. The guy asked how i preffered to be identified and started saying 'he, hi....' i then jumped in and said 'oh please dont involve me in that nonsense', and the chemist smiled and said ok.
I got the sense that inside he felt just as stupid asking as i did getting asked.
Just face it Stuart, Your either a very ugly woman or a very pretty guy, :messenger_grinning:
 
Ive often thought about this scenario.

There is a car insurance company specifically aimed at giving cheaper insurance quotes for women in the UK called Diamond. I wonder if I call myself a woman what I need to prove that in order to get a cheaper quote when im due a renewal?

🤔
 

///PATRIOT

Banned
It's amazing
This is where I am at. It’s none of my business. And I’m not going to be an asshole and not call them by their preferred pronoun. It’s just being respectful even if you don’t agree.
Ops issue is about them asking him, not the other way around.

Why there is always people like you gaslighting others for voicing against compelled speach?

Why does it bother you is not an argument.
 

Soodanim

Member
Why does it bother you so much? are you really that fragile?

Genuine question, not troll. If someone wants to be called he / she / they / them whatever the fuck, its their business. Times change for the better over time, being a luddite isn't a good look.
You say it’s a genuine question, but you started with an insult. Not exactly the best way to go about showing your sincere desire to understand a point of view.

It’s a comment on the restructuring of professional communication based on a false premise. That premise being that having preferred pronouns that differ from your sex is common, and therefore what society needs is to ask everyone. But it’s a farce. It’s nowhere near common, and it belongs in the “Additional notes” section because it, like innumerable other things, can be offered up if and when it becomes necessary/relevant in any given scenario. Would you feel like it was societal progression if everyone was asked if they deviate from having 10 toes in a shoe shop? I very much doubt it, because it’s a special exception. If someone has 9 or 11 toes, they will bring it up. If you’re early enough in transition that it’s not obvious what you’re presenting yourself as, then it will be brought up either by yourself or by the person who doesn’t know what to call you.

Not all changes are for the better, that’s a flawed premise.
 
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GymWolf

Member
I mean, I think the whole thing is dumb as fuck, and a result of people with too much time on their hands circle jerking to make themselves feel more important or individualized than their peers, but at the same time

I kinda feel like refusing to state your pronouns *is* making a big deal out of it, because it physically takes more energy to be like "I'd prefer not to say," than "he/him," Like, I get that it's not something you want to be complacent with because taking part is tantamount to approval and normalization, but there are some arenas where you have to play by the other team's rules. In this case, this woman probably thinks you're trans or identify as a elephant now. Much easier to just be like "I'm a dude, bro,"
Normalizing this shit is how you end in a demolition man dystopic future.
 

Winter John

Member
I ain't had that but I did have a rep from a brewery ask me for my FaceBook page. I told him I didn't have one. I got an address book so I never saw the use for it. He looked at me like he'd just discovered a caveman
 

MayauMiao

Member
Just curious how many here have been asked that question and how do you typically respond to it?

I have yet to encounter such situation probably because people around me are sane.

If I do encounter one, I probably tell them to use their common sense.

If they still get "confused", I'll tell them I have no pronouns because I'm an attack helicopter.
 

bad guy

as bad as Danny Zuko in gym knickers
"Let me check my pants. Woah! Definitely male."

They just wanted to know if you are a "difficult" customer.
 
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Jsisto

Member
“Actually my pronouns are situational. Typically I go by he/him….but I identify as Daddy when talking to you.”

Bam. You’d have had her in the palm of your hand, OP.
 

Fbh

Member
Basically. Some people care a lot though. Call the wrong married woman Miss and you will catch an earful. And vice versa. I had a physics teacher who insisted on being called Dr because he had a PhD. Some people will get triggered by their existence due to the Mrs/Miss thing.
And don't get me started with the whole addressing of mail to family thing.

I think the difference is that if someone makes a fuss about being called "miss" or not being called "doctor" they are usually seen as overreacting idiots.
I also knew a dude who insisted on being called doctor and pretty much everyone found him to be a self centered pretentious asshole.

If you use the wrong pronoun though, suddently it's very serious. You risk having yourself or your business "cancelled" and it's assumed you've dealt some deep psychological damage.
 

GymWolf

Member
I have yet to encounter such situation probably because people around me are sane.

If I do encounter one, I probably tell them to use their common sense.

If they still get "confused", I'll tell them I have no pronouns because I'm an attack helicopter.
You were great in mgs1, did it hurt when i fucked you up with my stinger rockets?

(Also, does the D in hind-D means dick??)
 

DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
Why does it bother you so much? are you really that fragile?

Genuine question, not troll. If someone wants to be called he / she / they / them whatever the fuck, its their business. Times change for the better over time, being a luddite isn't a good look.
Correct, it’s their business. They can desire to be called whatever they want. But if someone finds something ridiculous, they are under no obligation to play along. And if someone doesn’t want to, that’s their business as well.

This is how normal discourse works. Or should work.
 

Hugare

Member
Just say "He" and get over it, ffs

I'll never understand being bothered by this shit

You identify yourself as a helicopter? Whatever, who cares?
 

Dr. Claus

Vincit qui se vincit
My pronoun is God.

„God will do it.„
“Don‘t Bother God.“
“I am not too sure God will allow that.“

Though I also don‘t mind being referred to as Apache Helicopter.
 

Amory

Member
Idk how I feel about it. I'll use anyone's preferred pronouns if they're told to me, thats just respectful. But to make it so that everyone has to confirm their pronouns when you meet seems...idk. Dystopian? It assumes that the male/female categories are inherently wrong somehow, and I don't agree with that. There's a line for society somewhere and the fanatics don't see it.

That said if someone asked, knowing myself I'd probably just answer since I can't be bothered causing a whole thing. Most people probably would.
 

Cyberpunkd

Gold Member
Why does it bother you so much? are you really that fragile?
If you never say 'no' the default will always be 'yes'. Yes, it bothers me people spend their time and energy on useless shit instead of concentrating on something else because a few snowflakes amplified by social media decided to make a scene.
 

CGiRanger

Banned
I've actually encountered people who when they introduce themselves, they say their pronouns out loud after their name. And of course these are people who would in absolutely no way be mistaken for anything else. It's simply retarded for lack of a better word.

Then the real confusing ones start to add "they" as well. Which just makes no damn sense to me since they're already using the singular, so why are they adding the plural as well? what's the logic behind that?
 
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Barath

Banned
It's amazing
Ops issue is about them asking him, not the other way around.

Why there is always people like you gaslighting others for voicing against compelled speach?

Why does it bother you is not an argument.

It's amazing
Ops issue is about them asking him, not the other way around.

Why there is always people like you gaslighting others for voicing against compelled speach?

Why does it bother you is not an argument.
I wasn’t mentioning OP. I was mentioning who I replied to?
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
I've actually encountered people who when they introduce themselves, they say their pronouns out loud after their name. And of course these are people who would in absolutely no way be mistaken for anything else. It's simply retarded for lack of a better word.

Then the real confusing ones start to add "they" as well. Which just makes no damn sense to me since they're already using the singular, so why are they adding the plural as well? what's the logic behind that?
We really gotta just start using "it" for anyone not firmly in the he/she categories. It simplifies ALL of these issues for 99.9% for english speakers.
 

Coolwhhip

Neophyte
I've actually encountered people who when they introduce themselves, they say their pronouns out loud after their name. And of course these are people who would in absolutely no way be mistaken for anything else. It's simply retarded for lack of a better word.

Then the real confusing ones start to add "they" as well. Which just makes no damn sense to me since they're already using the singular, so why are they adding the plural as well? what's the logic behind that?

I would seriously laugh at that person and never speak to them again. Maybe even give them a wedgie.
 
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poodaddy

Gold Member
I prefer no pronouns, I will only be referred to as "dat boi Poo, the Artist formerly known as Poo". Refer to me as anything else and you're a sexist/fascist/racist/problematic/conservative/woman hater/polyphobic Nazi who's on a one way flight to cancel city.

Am I doin it right?
 
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lukilladog

Member
iu
 

DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
There was that video a few years ago that leaked, it was some convention where everyone was standing up and asking questions and they’d all start the questions off like “Mike Johnson, he/him” and everyone mocked it. Like wtf is this crazy shit.

Fast forward a few years later and this is becoming normalized bit by bit. So insane society is basically becoming a parody paved by insecure people afraid of being called bad words by mentally ill lunatics.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
Hahaha. My fucking sophomore English teacher insisted we call him Dr. because he had a doctorate in English. It was the biggest fucking joke. Everyone made fun of him because he was SO insistent and serious about Dr.

So after my wife and I closed on our first house guess who I realized as we drove out of the driveway.... The fucking Dr was my new neighbor. Luckily he didn't remember me.
Using the title in an academic setting is customary and respectful when your instructor is a PhD.
 

I_D

Member
I can call people They, Xir, Herm or whatever else makes them happy. Doesn't cost me a thing.

But what triggers me is when obviously male or female people place he/him or she/her next to their name and headshot. That is virtue signalling, they are so woke that they want to put their obvious pronouns up there so that the three people in hundred who have surprising pronouns won't be embarrassed to put up their pronouns.

97 people out of hundred posting their pronouns to pander 3 people, some of who probably are not even bothered in the first place.

Is there a difference between 'pandering' and 'normalizing,' in your scenario? What if it was 90:10, or 80:20?
In other words, how many minorities does it take before it's no longer pandering/signaling, and instead changing to modern habits?



I look at it like any other basic detail:
How old are you? How tall are you? How much do you weigh? What's your identifying term?
It's all basically at the same level of interest to me: Not worth even noticing, much less being upset about.
 
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