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Random thoughts.

We enjoyed the sun, despite the terrible events. It has been a longer season of warmery. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.

Seagulls drop chips on the shoulder of a sunbather. I watched car lights blind me at 2am on the M25.

All those memories gone. Like teabags in a mug. Time for a brew.
iu
 

ShinFuYux

Member
The other day i took an attachment theory quiz end it rated me as a fearful avoidant style with anxious preoccupied tendencies.

The deeper i fell in searching and reading about it, the more i realized that this is who I am.

Most of my relationships have lasted from 4 to (my recent one) 8 years. And it made me feel so emotionally drained because i put so much energy and time to make things work but they always end up having a change of heart and attitude towards me. So, i always ask "wtf did i do wrong? Where did i go wrong?" And they never could answer that question. They just blame themselves for not being good enough, that they are broken or not good in a relationship.

I sit here thinking "nah, there has to be more to that." So, when they leave and my life is turned upside down, i can't stop thinking it's my fault, it was me, i did something wrong. Nowadays, i immediately think "yeah, they'll love me now but watch, they'll change sooner or later".

I just wish i could be a better person and work on my mistakes. Learn from where I went wrong so i don't go and screw it up again or have them think they're the screw ups.

Any suggestions?
 

GeekyDad

Member
The other day i took an attachment theory quiz end it rated me as a fearful avoidant style with anxious preoccupied tendencies.

The deeper i fell in searching and reading about it, the more i realized that this is who I am.

Most of my relationships have lasted from 4 to (my recent one) 8 years. And it made me feel so emotionally drained because i put so much energy and time to make things work but they always end up having a change of heart and attitude towards me. So, i always ask "wtf did i do wrong? Where did i go wrong?" And they never could answer that question. They just blame themselves for not being good enough, that they are broken or not good in a relationship.

I sit here thinking "nah, there has to be more to that." So, when they leave and my life is turned upside down, i can't stop thinking it's my fault, it was me, i did something wrong. Nowadays, i immediately think "yeah, they'll love me now but watch, they'll change sooner or later".

I just wish i could be a better person and work on my mistakes. Learn from where I went wrong so i don't go and screw it up again or have them think they're the screw ups.

Any suggestions?
Yeah, stop reading shit like that. It's a prescription. Your life doesn't necessarily need a prescription. Perhaps consider discovering who you are, rather than reading some silly shit, and painting it on you. It's like reading a horoscope.
 
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EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
The other day i took an attachment theory quiz end it rated me as a fearful avoidant style with anxious preoccupied tendencies.

The deeper i fell in searching and reading about it, the more i realized that this is who I am.

Most of my relationships have lasted from 4 to (my recent one) 8 years. And it made me feel so emotionally drained because i put so much energy and time to make things work but they always end up having a change of heart and attitude towards me. So, i always ask "wtf did i do wrong? Where did i go wrong?" And they never could answer that question. They just blame themselves for not being good enough, that they are broken or not good in a relationship.

I sit here thinking "nah, there has to be more to that." So, when they leave and my life is turned upside down, i can't stop thinking it's my fault, it was me, i did something wrong. Nowadays, i immediately think "yeah, they'll love me now but watch, they'll change sooner or later".

I just wish i could be a better person and work on my mistakes. Learn from where I went wrong so i don't go and screw it up again or have them think they're the screw ups.

Any suggestions?
Get into therapy, they'll help you work on things. One sided relationships aren't healthy and will end with you exhausted from trying to please the other person and the other person not valuing you or respecting you. Healthy relationships are reciprocal, and leaning on the other person during tough times will come when it needs to in either direction rather than being the default.
 
I just wish i could be a better person and work on my mistakes. Learn from where I went wrong so i don't go and screw it up again or have them think they're the screw ups.
What GeekyDad GeekyDad and EviLore said.

It looks like you're looking for a life guide. If there was a life guide that worked, we'd all have read it by now, and everyone would be perfect. But it doesn't exist. No one can tell you the lessons to learn from this except yourself.

This is far easier for me to say than for you to do: All you can do is choose which lessons you learn and move forward. No one can ever guarantee you what you're looking for here, which is to never fail again. We will all fail again in one way or another. And it's ok. You'll be ok.

Talk to the people you care about and who care about you. You'll make it through this alright. Peace and love to you, brother.
 

Star-Lord

Member
The other day I took an attachment theory quiz, end it rated me as a fearful avoidant style with anxious preoccupied tendencies.
After reading this, I decided to take a test too, and wasn't surprised to see that I too have anxious preoccupied tendencies. I put everyone before me, and that's not a good thing. But the weird thing is, as much as I put others feelings before my own, I find myself shutting people off just as easily. I've pushed many, many people away due to fear of abandonment and loneliness, when it could've ended with me finding happiness. I don't see that changing anytime soon, though, I have way too many trust issues and far too much emotional baggage. Yay for being a walking shitheap of contradictory emotions.
 

Artoris

Gold Member
After reading this, I decided to take a test too, and wasn't surprised to see that I too have anxious preoccupied tendencies. I put everyone before me, and that's not a good thing. But the weird thing is, as much as I put others feelings before my own, I find myself shutting people off just as easily. I've pushed many, many people away due to fear of abandonment and loneliness, when it could've ended with me finding happiness. I don't see that changing anytime soon, though, I have way too many trust issues and far too much emotional baggage. Yay for being a walking shitheap of contradictory emotions.
Having clear goals in life and working towards them, rather than thinking of random things, may help
 

Con-Z-epT

Live from NeoGAF, it's Friday Night!
Why is it sometimes you only get the chance to eat a small meal one day, like say a modest sandwich, and already on an empty stomach, but then the next day you have to push out three huge bombs into the toilet? Where is this doo doo coming from? And why is there so much of it?
It can easily take up to 100 hours for the digestion to be complete and for the unusable remains to be disposed of with the bowel movement.

In other words these three huge bombs might not be the modest sandwich.
 
i worry about dying and thinking i've not done anything with my life. i know i could have done better but there are still a lot of things i've done that i'm proud of. the thing is my memory seems to be getting worse and i'm scared that even if i have done or will do things with my life that i might not remember them. the last few years i feel like my memory is deteriorating and i'm struggling to remember stuff. not just small things but significant events in my life.

i wouldn't say it's an excuse to not do anything going forward but it's sad that i will do things and i might not remember them. also it terrifies me even more that i might die without remembering anything if my memory keeps getting worse.

i'm not old but i have noticed that i can't remember as much things anymore. hopefully it's normal and only part of getting older instead of something more serious.
 
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Con-Z-epT

Live from NeoGAF, it's Friday Night!
Should I buy tlou part 1? I've complained about the price before and bought it for ps3 and 4... But it's one of my favorite games
It's pretty much up to you. I loved it and i too bought it three times.

It looks and plays better than ever and i enjoyed every second. It's still the same game in terms of story.

You won't miss out since the game won't run away. No problem in waiting for a discount.

If you have the money to burn than go ahead.
 
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Should I buy tlou part 1? I've complained about the price before and bought it for ps3 and 4... But it's one of my favorite games
imo, if you own the PS4 remaster then there's not much point in getting the latest remaster...unless you really want pretty graphics.

maybe wait for a sale?

or if it's one of your favourite games then just go for it?
 

Con-Z-epT

Live from NeoGAF, it's Friday Night!
i worry about dying and thinking i've not done anything with my life. i know i could have done better but there are still a lot of things i've done that i'm proud of. the thing is my memory seems to be getting worse and i'm scared that even if i have done or will do things with my life that i might not remember them. the last few years i feel like my memory is deteriorating and i'm struggling to remember stuff. not just small things but significant events in my life.

i wouldn't say it's an excuse to not do anything going forward but it's sad that i will do things and i might not remember them. also it terrifies me even more that i might die without remembering anything if my memory keeps getting worse.

i'm not old but i have noticed that i can't remember as much things anymore. hopefully it's normal and only part of getting older instead of something more serious.
I guess everybody does when they get older. I'd say that this is natural. Question is if it's just a random thought or is there a deeper reason to this?

How often have i heard the term: "Live every moment as if it would be your last." Not many people do this and i think it's a bit of an exaggerated statement. But the more memorable you shape your life the more memories you will keep. Try to give your existence a meaning through things like traveling, constant learning, pushing for the limits in sports, having kids, doing good for others and yourself. There is so much in life to live and strive for. Just start slow and get self-confidence from these things.

We also live in a very fast and ever changing world where it is hard to keep track of things. This will ultimately lead to many experiences in your life you just forget because they weren't memorable. Try to focus on things that are important and cut the crap out. Even i have a hard time remembering every single thing in my life. That's why i try to share positive things of the past with my girl or the family and friends. To strengthen the memory.

I would suggest meditation. Self-induced hypnosis, a deeper state of trance, or a fully focused mind can remember a lot of things that are not very present in your mind. It's all there since you lived through it, it's just deep in your subconsciousness. You can re-remember so to say.

Just some thoughts.
 
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GeekyDad

Member
In part of my dream last night I learned that people could pass through matter without colliding with it. It was wild. I didn't know how to do it myself, but I was in a car with a woman who was driving us somewhere for some purpose, and she was going so fast that when she turned, the car passed through wall and stuff. I was yelling at her to slow down, but she didn't think anything of it. She didn't know how to express it to me, but I knew it was an ability she had that I didn't. And I think the only reason I wasn't affected by the matter was because I was in the same car with her, which she willed to not collide with the wall matter. Was so natural and weird. But it didn't feel bad. It was kinda cool. Weird but cool.
 

Kenpachii

Member
The other day i took an attachment theory quiz end it rated me as a fearful avoidant style with anxious preoccupied tendencies.

The deeper i fell in searching and reading about it, the more i realized that this is who I am.

Most of my relationships have lasted from 4 to (my recent one) 8 years. And it made me feel so emotionally drained because i put so much energy and time to make things work but they always end up having a change of heart and attitude towards me. So, i always ask "wtf did i do wrong? Where did i go wrong?" And they never could answer that question. They just blame themselves for not being good enough, that they are broken or not good in a relationship.

I sit here thinking "nah, there has to be more to that." So, when they leave and my life is turned upside down, i can't stop thinking it's my fault, it was me, i did something wrong. Nowadays, i immediately think "yeah, they'll love me now but watch, they'll change sooner or later".

I just wish i could be a better person and work on my mistakes. Learn from where I went wrong so i don't go and screw it up again or have them think they're the screw ups.

Any suggestions?

Ask your ex or multiple ones, what it was to life with you and what put them eventually off. Most of the time they will give you the answer because they have no reason to lie anymore at that point.

Also don't change because u want to change for another. U just be you, and if the other person can't deal with you, then fuck them.
 
i can't wait to be off work but i probably won't have much time to myself .got a lot of shit planned. i'm gonna try reschedule some things to bring them forward to next week or push them back a week. there are a few things that can be held off another couple weeks but it's easier if i get them done when i'm off work. i've been exhausted and really need to just chill for a bit i can't be arsed dealing with all this crap.
 

John Marston

GAF's very own treasure goblin
I've recently gone back to Tiny Tina's Wonderlands & Ashly Burch voicing both Tiny Tina and Aloy is just a testament to her range. I mean what the hell 😀

 

Star-Lord

Member
Being someone who doesn't want to be tied down to a single person doesn't mean I don't have feelings and won't get hurt when lied to.

When will people understand this?
 

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
My buddy recently told me that he likes to take menstrual blood from women and rub it all over his body. He said doing this gives him power.

...it may be time to start looking for new friends.
 

Bragr

Banned
In part of my dream last night I learned that people could pass through matter without colliding with it. It was wild. I didn't know how to do it myself, but I was in a car with a woman who was driving us somewhere for some purpose, and she was going so fast that when she turned, the car passed through wall and stuff. I was yelling at her to slow down, but she didn't think anything of it. She didn't know how to express it to me, but I knew it was an ability she had that I didn't. And I think the only reason I wasn't affected by the matter was because I was in the same car with her, which she willed to not collide with the wall matter. Was so natural and weird. But it didn't feel bad. It was kinda cool. Weird but cool.
What?
 

Bragr

Banned
The world champion resigned from a tournament because he thought some kid he was playing was cheating.

Then 2 weeks later, they were supposed to play again online, and again he resigned.

It sounds like nothing, but it's unprecedented to do something like that in chess, it's a massive drama shitshow.

105054.png
 

Con-Z-epT

Live from NeoGAF, it's Friday Night!
The world champion resigned from a tournament because he thought some kid he was playing was cheating.

Then 2 weeks later, they were supposed to play again online, and again he resigned.

It sounds like nothing, but it's unprecedented to do something like that in chess, it's a massive drama shitshow.

105054.png
I read he got tips through a remote controlled buttplug while playing.

D-Day Escape Room GIF by Escape Hunt UK
 
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