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Young men reveal why so many of them are single: ‘Dates feel more like job interviews’

DeepEnigma

Gold Member
They’re single but they’re not mingling.

New data from the Pew Research Center has shown that 63% of men under 30 are single – up from 51% in 2019.

COVID isolation and women’s high expectations for something serious are the main reasons they’re avoiding going out and coupling up, young guys say.

“Dates feel more like job interviews now. Much more like ‘What can you do for me and where is this going?'” said Ian Breslow, a 28-year-old high school teacher who lives in Astoria.

“The ‘getting to know you’ period is gone and that doesn’t feel so great after coming out of isolation.”

He recalled a recent first date that went quite well until the woman interrogated him on their walk home.

“She literally asked me, ‘Would you rather our kids go to public or private school?’ Followed by several more extreme questions about getting married. I just started responding with what I knew she would hate the most to get her to leave,” Breslow told The Post.

Experts agree that women are certainly wanting more than ever before.

“The overall picture [is] that if a woman is going to go on a date with a man, chances are it’s not for a casual fling,” Ronald Levant, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron, told The Post.

“Especially if the woman is kind of getting close to 30, [she’s] thinking about the biological clock and wants to have a family, he added.

Breslow isn’t looking to settle down and get married anytime soon, so he’d rather have casual flings.

“The way dating is currently just makes me want to hook up locally with no stress or strings attached,” he says. “Fortunately that part comes very easy . . . I’m unmotivated to search for something serious for the time being.”

Ian Breslow said the face of dating has changed greatly since COVID.


Ian Breslow said the face of dating has changed greatly since COVID.

Andrew Bruno, a 28-year-old nurse from Bellmore, NY, says flirting in the post-COVID era just isn’t as fun as it once was.

“Being able to naturally approach people while out isn’t like it was pre-pandemic. People are still much less likely to leave their groups or cliques at a bar,” said Bruno. “They’re certainly less talkative and that’s lowered my incentive to put myself out there.”

He also said the pandemic, more than ever before, made dating apps the central means for meeting people — and he’s not a fan.

“That just really isn’t my style. Like there is a weekslong prerequisite before you can think about getting involved, even for casual things,” Bruno said. “I’d rather take all that effort and put it towards my career.”

And, like Breslow, he’s in no hurry to get hitched.

Andrew Bruno feels that people have become less approachable


Andrew Bruno feels that people have become less approachable while out since COVID.

“I’m also still very young,” Bruno said. “I don’t feel the need to rush, especially if people don’t act as naturally as they did before COVID. Why would I put it all out there for someone who can’t or won’t hold a conversation?”

For Mike M., a 25-year-old in Queens, it’s his — not the opposite sex’s — social skills that are still battling a bad case of long COVID.

“I definitely can’t walk into a room and go talk to someone I’m interested like I used to be able to. It feels like my outgoingness has suffered some atrophy,” Mike, who withheld his last name out of embarrassment, told The Post.

He’s also having less sex than he did pre-pandemic.

“I have definitely been going online to take care of my urges more than I have by seeing people,” Mike admitted.

He feels as though he lost two prime years in his early 20s of being able to date and have fun without worrying about being in a serious relationship.

Now, he’s under pressure to find a long term commitment, but can’t put himself out there.

“I also feel like I’m caught between two worlds,” he said. “Ultimately I’ve just been crashing and have had neither lately.”
 
Americans are complaining about lack of intimacy? There's so much poon in the US that I'm surprised crime rates are so high, just bust some nuts instead. Go out to California and all people think about is fucking, I mean you can't make this shit up. Americans fuck more than insects.
 

Lunarorbit

Member
Don't worry! I was told by the internet to just go goblin mode on my first date!

Or get rejected by all the women cause of the super Chad users that get over 70% of all responses.

Yeah fuck that. I keep saying to go join a club or group activity like one hour paint classes to meet people. This interview process is nuts on dates.

Just eliminate the dating apps guys. Touch grass and maybe you'll meet people
 

Dr.Morris79

Member
Americans are complaining about lack of intimacy? There's so much poon in the US that I'm surprised crime rates are so high, just bust some nuts instead. Go out to California and all people think about is fucking, I mean you can't make this shit up. Americans fuck more than insects.
I think you've missed the point slightly

Intimacy isnt just 'fucking' :messenger_tears_of_joy:
 

DeepEnigma

Gold Member
Americans are complaining about lack of intimacy? There's so much poon in the US that I'm surprised crime rates are so high, just bust some nuts instead. Go out to California and all people think about is fucking, I mean you can't make this shit up. Americans fuck more than insects.
that is true stephen colbert GIF by Obama


But, stay away from the Cali crazy pussy.
 
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Men: I just want a woman that breathes and can hug me sometimes.
Women: I want a 6 foot, 12 inch dick, 6 figure salary, want him to care for me all the time, want him to pay for my dates, let me go to clubs every time, and add another 20 other things on a never ending list.

No wonder the the new generation of teens hardly fuck anymore. My advice is always go for 35+ aged women, that dont have kids. Less risk.
 

RJMacready73

Simps for Amouranth
Add in women using Snapchat and tiktok filters to post selfies and you men are all fucked, all these ladies pushing 3 maybe 4 on a good day posting up 8's onto dating websites and thinking they too good looking for your swamp beast features... Yeah fuck that, if the wife and I ever split, I'm staying single and getting a fucking dog
 

DeepEnigma

Gold Member
Add in women using Snapchat and tiktok filters to post selfies and you men are all fucked, all these ladies pushing 3 maybe 4 on a good day posting up 8's onto dating websites and thinking they too good looking for your swamp beast features... Yeah fuck that, if the wife and I ever split, I'm staying single and getting a fucking dog
Preach GIF
 

SlimySnake

Flashless at the Golden Globes
I read that 80% for the women go for the top 20% of the men while the 80% of the men are vying for the bottom 20% of the women.

What's happening is that women have gotten the fucking and whoring out of their system after spending their 20s fucking hot guys but the men havent. they dont get laid as often because their dating pool is so small. women can and are getting laid easily just like all the good looking men. So now, when they do want to settle with the bottom 80% of the guys, they want them to offer wealth instead of looks. Makes sense to me. If you're not good looking and you want to land a better looking girl than you (and all men do) then you have to bring the cash. It sucks because you cant fuck around and have to settle for ran through bitches in order to start a family but thats the price you have to pay in todays world. Not gonna find a virgin or even someone with a body count under 50 in post tinder world.
 

Trogdor1123

Member
Well the first few dates should essentially be a long interview, for both parties.

You should see if you fit together. Doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be fun of course but it shouldn’t be just shooting from the hip if you will. You should be thoughtful.

The question I have about the data is that so many men are single… doesn’t that also mean the women are too?
 

squallheart

Member
This is why I'm so thankful my current gf trapped me after not dating for a long time. It was a smart move to show her the Kasane video lol
 

Kenpachii

Member
Dating apps are a woman market.

If you get 2000 woman to react on your tinder profile, u will start selecting the top % of woman. This is exactly what woman are doing as that's exactly what they are getting.

And can u blame them?, in todays society without a guy with good income u will be living a poor life. Inflation is so high and everything else u will be lucky if u can even mimic your mothers situation or live in the neighborhood u grew up in.

For the common guy with average income or below, u basically are sol on those apps. Better starts roaming around colleges and friends to see if there is still one available. This is also the best way to date outside of dating apps.
 
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Kurotri

Member
I can absolutely agree with this. Women do demand more and are much more hesitant to "date down" like many men do. I've noticed so many couples out there where the guy looks very well put together, attractive but the gf is average as hell. Current dating has inflated so many womens ego it's insane. It's not even their fault obviously, it's just how modern dating culture has completely fucked up the dynamics between men and women. Apps like Tinder are a fucking menace.

I especially agee with the part about it feeling like a job interview. Unless you are of the lucky ones and get picked up by a girl instead or both of you randomly have chemistry and things just snowball from there, a single guy trying to put himself out there just gets destroyed by all these rejections. It's not like dating apps will never ever yield results, they will eventually, but you have to have an absurd amount of stamina because you'll be getting rejected a million times or ghosted before you have 1 or 2 serious dates. It's absolutely draining and as a result young men just don't want to deal with it anymore. Other areas in life, like jobs and university, are draining enough. Add the current dating culture and you'll go mental.

Also I want to add something else, the whole Covid thing. I don't know if it's just me, or because I'm not American, but I genuinely cannot understand why the people in the OP keep saying that these developments are because of Covid. This dating issue that mainly fucks over young men has been around for many, MANY more years, Covid has nothing to do with it. I don't like this weird trend of attributting issues in society, that have existed for a far longer amount of time, to the pandemic. Does anyone else feel the same?
 

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
yeah, I work with a few women who are currently single because of their lofty expectations.
The funny thing is, they don't give a fuck - they'd rather be single than to set realistic dating standards for themselves. 😮

I see a lot of lonely people coming in the next 10-20 years+ .
 
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jason10mm

Gold Member


This podcast reveals a lot about current gen dating.

I see clips from this guy all the time but have never watched an extended segment. Either this guy went out of his way to find the DUMBEST WOMEN IMAGINABLE or these ladies were there for some other context and got ambushed by these questions and are reluctant to engage. Is this show worth watching for more than a 30 second Gotcha! as he runs rings about IQ 30 thots?
 

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
I see clips from this guy all the time but have never watched an extended segment. Either this guy went out of his way to find the DUMBEST WOMEN IMAGINABLE or these ladies were there for some other context and got ambushed by these questions and are reluctant to engage. Is this show worth watching for more than a 30 second Gotcha! as he runs rings about IQ 30 thots?
That's a good observation.

Kevin Samuels is well known for going after low-hanging fruit, BUT he was still able to shed light on how putrid the dating scene currently is.

He was just able to use dumb hoes to make his point.

I mean, no woman with an ounce of self-respect would ever go on that show.
 
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jason10mm

Gold Member
man none of this makes any sense to me, don't people just meet and fall for each other any more?
Definitely not.

The internet now allows folks to troll through the largest dating pool possible for the most superficial characteristics imaginable. If all you are doing is basing your dating on "swipe right/left" and filters exist only to bias that decision, no wonder the dating scene has gone to shit. Used to be dating site profiles FORCED you to fill out shit like "do you want kids" etc so the long term relationship hunters (the primary focus of these sites back in the day) could properly vet partners. Now it seems like hook-up culture has thoroughly invaded these sites to the point where "meat market" is a totally apt description. Actually cold approaching someone with romantic intent is virtually assault these days :p
 

Mossybrew

Member
The funny thing is, they don't give a fuck - they'd rather be single

I can't fault that. It's a good thing if more young people are realizing they don't HAVE to be in a relationship. There's plenty of people in shitty relationships that would probably be happier alone. Focus on yourself, realize you don't NEED a partner to be happy, and honestly you'll probably make a better partner down the road if it does happen.

Anyway it all sounds like a nightmare. I'm too old for this shit.
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
I mean, no woman with an ounce of self-respect would ever go on that show.
Sadly, some of those girls are pretty cute so I imagine they get a big attention boost exposure because the fans only care for their appearance, not any intellectual merit (which, I suppose, just goes back to the core of his point, really).
 

DeepEnigma

Gold Member
yeah, I work with a few women who are currently single because of their lofty expectations.
The funny thing is, they don't give a fuck - they'd rather be single than to set realistic dating standards for themselves. 😮

I see a lot of lonely people coming in the next 10-20 years+ .
That's the thing. Once their mid-40's hit them and they are considered "used goods" in the scenes they've been used to frequenting with the power attitudes... a lifetime of regret will hit more often than not.

Then they're designated to endless face app and angle photos posted to their social medias.
 

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
and honestly you'll probably make a better partner down the road if it does happen.
Perhaps, but their is such a thing called "relationship skills".
I'm not saying everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy, but if young people completely forsake relationships at an early age, how can they be able to maintain anything of substance in the future? They wouldn't have learned anything to help them grow.
 
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k_trout

Member
Definitely not.

The internet now allows folks to troll through the largest dating pool possible for the most superficial characteristics imaginable. If all you are doing is basing your dating on "swipe right/left" and filters exist only to bias that decision, no wonder the dating scene has gone to shit. Used to be dating site profiles FORCED you to fill out shit like "do you want kids" etc so the long term relationship hunters (the primary focus of these sites back in the day) could properly vet partners. Now it seems like hook-up culture has thoroughly invaded these sites to the point where "meat market" is a totally apt description. Actually cold approaching someone with romantic intent is virtually assault these days :p
thats a damn shame, the meeting and digging each other should be the easy part, the hard part is making it last past that initial horniness lol
 

Rentahamster

Rodent Whores
man none of this makes any sense to me, don't people just meet and fall for each other any more?
They do, but the people who are bad at socializing are good at talking about how bad they are.

A lot of the men in the article straight up admit that they just want a casual fuck without accepting that many women don't want to do that, and the ones that do are going to do it with men who are hotter and more successful than those guys are. Both genders have problems identifying what league they are in and how to actually meet people who want the same things that they do.
 

lifa-cobex

Member
I'll absolutely attest to this.
I split with my ex after covid after 10 odd years being together and a job interview description is defiantly the dating scene.

I don't even get excited about first dates anymore. If the night leads into the possibility of fucking then yea, sure.
But I really can't be bothered these days.
I'm in my mid thirties and I feel like I "should" have a partner just for the sake of not dying alone. But honestly i'm quite content with being on my own.

Meeting new people isn't how it was back when either. People have their groups when they go out and I rarely see mixing and matching. Not to say it doesn't happen but not like it did back when.
 
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