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Young men reveal why so many of them are single: ‘Dates feel more like job interviews’

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Even back in the day, young men would go sign up to fight in wars on the other side of the world to make their name, have a chance at status and fortune, or die trying, so that they could get established and therefore marry. It’s never been easy for men. The ones in power were a tiny minority.

This is our lot in life. At least we have an unprecedented level of agency and opportunity in the modern world.
Basically. The problem is the modern day equivalent of the things you mentioned is basically just self-made money and/or social media clout thanks to the continuous rise of social media obsession. Especially Tik Tok and Instagram. People want to be rich and famous. That or they want to give off the perception they are. That is what a LARGE portion of the latest generation has come to.


Girls grow up seeing these beautiful women who are basically just pretty for a living surrounded by hot wealthy guys and think that is their ticket in life. They try to emulate it and shun those who don't live up to their imagined impossible standards. So you get stuck up women with delusions of grandeur who ultimately fail in their impossible pursuit. By then the "friends" they made along the way might be long gone for the same reasons. Leaving them mentally broken, with no skills, and possibly alone depending on just how many people they pushed away.


Boys meanwhile grow up seeing those wealthy guys in those vids or the "manly men" like Tate and do the same. It's why Tate was so immediately successful despite his moronic BS. He found traction in the young and the desperate. They then emulate and hold themselves to these impossible perceived standards. Except for men it ends up with a sea of toxic masculinity and ultimately the same kind of mental issues.


It's both sides of the aisle being systematically trained to push for something that not only isn't possible, but provides them with basically no real life skills at all when they come out on the other end after they eventually fail.

Which is a HUGE issue because it used to be kids wanted to be astronauts, firemen, doctors, and Archeologists. Things that were maybe not impossible, but extremely unlikely depending on the person and the ambition. But they earned usable skills along the way. A person trying to be a doctor might have instead ended up as a lab tech, a nurse, or some other job in the field. Same for an astronaut. Kids basically had NO chance to make that happen, but in the pursuit of it they might have become engineers, flight instructors, airline pilots etc etc. They would have failed in their dream, but they came out with marketable skills along the way.


People chasing fame and fortune on Instagram, Twitch, or YouTube meanwhile may end up at a dead end with no money and no marketable skills depending on the content they chose to try and make. And they will be doing this at an age where everyone else around them already is in college, has a career, or already has a trade skill. So they start behind the pack after already failing at what they had originally wanted. It's causing a sea of mental instability and depression.


It's time for social media to be more heavily regulated by both the parents who need to remember how to be parents and the governments who need to remember that they are relying on this future generation to run the world.
 

OZ9000

Banned
My appearance and intelligence and personality makes it more like winning a lottery to me.

I gave up. I don't bother with trying to pick up on women anymore or anything like that and I have no interest to either. I already have too much on my plate and I would be too much of a burden.

I don't think I'll ever have a girlfriend or date again but I'm okay with that.
With a defeatist attitude you certainly won't. But if you try, there is absolutely no harm.
 
Average Becky wants a 10 with mega money. It's over for straight dudes, just go gay. You'll be happier.

That's not quite how it works. But even if it did, maybe you'd get more hookups (if you don't mind that), but for relationships you'd probably have to wade through a sea of dick pics.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
Basically. The problem is the modern day equivalent of the things you mentioned is basically just self-made money and/or social media clout thanks to the continuous rise of social media obsession. Especially Tik Tok and Instagram. People want to be rich and famous. That or they want to give off the perception they are. That is what a LARGE portion of the latest generation has come to.


Girls grow up seeing these beautiful women who are basically just pretty for a living surrounded by hot wealthy guys and think that is their ticket in life. They try to emulate it and shun those who don't live up to their imagined impossible standards. So you get stuck up women with delusions of grandeur who ultimately fail in their impossible pursuit. By then the "friends" they made along the way might be long gone for the same reasons. Leaving them mentally broken, with no skills, and possibly alone depending on just how many people they pushed away.


Boys meanwhile grow up seeing those wealthy guys in those vids or the "manly men" like Tate and do the same. It's why Tate was so immediately successful despite his moronic BS. He found traction in the young and the desperate. They then emulate and hold themselves to these impossible perceived standards. Except for men it ends up with a sea of toxic masculinity and ultimately the same kind of mental issues.


It's both sides of the aisle being systematically trained to push for something that not only isn't possible, but provides them with basically no real life skills at all when they come out on the other end after they eventually fail.

Which is a HUGE issue because it used to be kids wanted to be astronauts, firemen, doctors, and Archeologists. Things that were maybe not impossible, but extremely unlikely depending on the person and the ambition. But they earned usable skills along the way. A person trying to be a doctor might have instead ended up as a lab tech, a nurse, or some other job in the field. Same for an astronaut. Kids basically had NO chance to make that happen, but in the pursuit of it they might have become engineers, flight instructors, airline pilots etc etc. They would have failed in their dream, but they came out with marketable skills along the way.


People chasing fame and fortune on Instagram, Twitch, or YouTube meanwhile may end up at a dead end with no money and no marketable skills depending on the content they chose to try and make. And they will be doing this at an age where everyone else around them already is in college, has a career, or already has a trade skill. So they start behind the pack after already failing at what they had originally wanted. It's causing a sea of mental instability and depression.


It's time for social media to be more heavily regulated by both the parents who need to remember how to be parents and the governments who need to remember that they are relying on this future generation to run the world.
Social media is cancer, agreed. But as individuals all we can do is ignore the BS and become the best version of ourselves while the people around us waste their time. It’s not much different than all the people in every generation who tread water living in the moment with delusions that it’ll all work out on its own. Living deliberately is challenging, especially in the age of algorithmic distraction, but there’s always going to be an excuse available.
 

Chiggs

Member
When I was single in Los Angeles about 8 years ago, a number of women I dated admitted that they ran background and financial checks on me before accepting. I absolutely felt like I was in the position to prove my worth, especially since at least two of them told me I had passed their "initial tests."

I honestly could have opened a Subway franchise with less scrutiny.
 
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Jsisto

Member
I just legitimately don’t care anymore. Im 36, divorced, single for nearly a decade and fully expect to die alone. Dating websites are a hell scape of people with inflated egos unwilling to settle when historically there’s nothing wrong with settling for someone “good”. Maybe something will happen for me spontaneously someday, who knows…but I’m introverted, just below 5 foot 4, not exactly the most handsome man in the world, and I know my place in life. I enjoy my hobbies, earn enough to have a nice living and then some, and live relatively stress free. It’s fucked out there.
 

Chiggs

Member
I just legitimately don’t care anymore. Im 36, divorced, single for nearly a decade and fully expect to die alone. Dating websites are a hell scape of people with inflated egos unwilling to settle when historically there’s nothing wrong with settling for someone “good”. Maybe something will happen for me spontaneously someday, who knows…but I’m introverted, just below 5 foot 4, not exactly the most handsome man in the world, and I know my place in life. I enjoy my hobbies, earn enough to have a nice living and then some, and live relatively stress free. It’s fucked out there.

Ironically, your nonchalant “fuck if I care” attitude ensures that you’ll be ensnared in a web of excitement and sexual intrigue with at least a handful of women before you kick the bucket. They’ll crave your stability and decency.

Just keep your guard up and double bag it until trust has been established.
 

Jsisto

Member
Ironically, your nonchalant “fuck if I care” attitude ensures that you’ll be ensnared in a web of excitement and sexual intrigue with at least a handful of women before you kick the bucket. They’ll crave your stability and decency.

Just keep your guard up and double bag it until trust has been established.
Wait til they see my amiibo collection. I’ll need to hire a personal janitor to mop up all the pussy juice. Forgive me for not sharing that level of optimism lmao.
 

Toons

Banned
People overcomplicate things.

My brother got married last year to a girl at age 22 whilst having basically no money, taking odd jobs here and there and facing opposition from hwr parents who didn't want it to happen

A buddy of mine who's got money and a solid job broke up with a girl, got a new girl in less than 6 months nd is still with her

Im living on my own, not paycheck to paycheck but close enough, I dont talk to people a ton and keep in my already established circle, I'm a few years older than both and I'm still single and not really in a rush.

I feel like a lot of guys who complain about this dont really offer much to the table in the first place and then wonder why they are passed up. I know that women have standards as well and the internet influences that, but the best thing you can do is a guy is stio wallowing in self pity about how unfair it is, and just work with what you have.
 

nush

Gold Member
Especially when all of us older and well put together men are scooping up all the thots in their 20s.
EllipticalImmaculateBarnowl-small.gif
 

JimmyRustler

Gold Member
People overcomplicate things.

My brother got married last year to a girl at age 22 whilst having basically no money, taking odd jobs here and there and facing opposition from hwr parents who didn't want it to happen

A buddy of mine who's got money and a solid job broke up with a girl, got a new girl in less than 6 months nd is still with her

Im living on my own, not paycheck to paycheck but close enough, I dont talk to people a ton and keep in my already established circle, I'm a few years older than both and I'm still single and not really in a rush.

I feel like a lot of guys who complain about this dont really offer much to the table in the first place and then wonder why they are passed up. I know that women have standards as well and the internet influences that, but the best thing you can do is a guy is stio wallowing in self pity about how unfair it is, and just work with what you have.
I'd say a lot is about how much you want/need a relationship in the first place just for the sake of it. I was going with a couple of guys who were absolutely ok with it to hit on 10+ women per night and then if the 11th responded would go bang that one. They are just turned on immediately when think they have a chance for pussy.

I on the other hand have huge problems finding girls I vibe with. When I went out a few weeks ago a girl was hitting on me and all the people around me found it be a given that I would just go and bang her. Erm... no?

I've met many guys where I was puzzled how much shit they could take from their girls and then still bang her at the end of the day. Like, as soon as the panties drop everything else is irrelevant. Are we animals or what?

I dunno, maybe I'm weird.
 

Toons

Banned
I'd say a lot is about how much you want/need a relationship in the first place just for the sake of it. I was going with a couple of guys who were absolutely ok with it to hit on 10+ women per night and then if the 11th responded would go bang that one. They are just turned on immediately when think they have a chance for pussy.

I on the other hand have huge problems finding girls I vibe with. When I went out a few weeks ago a girl was hitting on me and all the people around me found it be a given that I would just go and bang her. Erm... no?

I've met many guys where I was puzzled how much shit they could take from their girls and then still bang her at the end of the day. Like, as soon as the panties drop everything else is irrelevant. Are we animals or what?

I dunno, maybe I'm weird.

Some guys are animals. Some aren't.

Some are gonna have an easier time finding a lay, if thats all they are looking for. Some are looking for more.

Same goes for women. For every cute blonde stereotypical type you see at a bar there are 10 women whod never bothered stepping in one and wouldn't get any attention even if they did.

That doesn't necessarily mean they have no chance but they're gonna have to work harder.

All ill say is I've seen some Cornballs fond people, and actual skilled, intelligent, talented people struggle. Theres no one size fits all. But for a lot of guys in my age group I see them resort to goin in with a chip on their shoulder, or resentment. And that isnt gonna get you any better results.
 

JimmyRustler

Gold Member
Some guys are animals. Some aren't.

Some are gonna have an easier time finding a lay, if thats all they are looking for. Some are looking for more.

Same goes for women. For every cute blonde stereotypical type you see at a bar there are 10 women whod never bothered stepping in one and wouldn't get any attention even if they did.

That doesn't necessarily mean they have no chance but they're gonna have to work harder.

All ill say is I've seen some Cornballs fond people, and actual skilled, intelligent, talented people struggle. Theres no one size fits all. But for a lot of guys in my age group I see them resort to goin in with a chip on their shoulder, or resentment. And that isnt gonna get you any better results.
They struggle because in order to find someone worthwhile you almost necessary have to adapt the "next, next, next" mindset. But many can't or don't want to do that. So naturally they grow resentful.
 

Fenix34

I remove teeth
I just legitimately don’t care anymore. Im 36, divorced, single for nearly a decade and fully expect to die alone. Dating websites are a hell scape of people with inflated egos unwilling to settle when historically there’s nothing wrong with settling for someone “good”. Maybe something will happen for me spontaneously someday, who knows…but I’m introverted, just below 5 foot 4, not exactly the most handsome man in the world, and I know my place in life. I enjoy my hobbies, earn enough to have a nice living and then some, and live relatively stress free. It’s fucked out

There's always more views to take into consideration than just being fixated on one proposition.

For me personally, I've never dated and have no interest unless there is a genuine connection. However when I do get approached by men I notice the differences in the way they try to woo. One man doesn't want a relationship at all, he just wants to be friends with benefits. Another man asks what's my name, where I'm going, where do I live and what's my number, which are all red flags. Another man calls me a pretty young thing and says I don't have to work and he'll take care of me, but that's not the kind of person I am nor want to be treated like a trophy than a human being, and as Princess Jasmine said, "I'm not a prize to be won." Another man asked if I was single and tried to woo me but after rejection he just told me that I'll regret turning down a man that might have been the one. Sounds like another major red flag and manipulator as I was young too then and he much older. Another man who was the most polite and respectful asked for my number but I declined, at the time; I just wanted to focus on my terminally ill mother, so bad timing plus I thought originally from afar he looked like my dad by the way he dressed but not looked. Another man told me he knew I was lonely and then went on about his whole dating life about how he's so tired of these beautiful girls using and hurting him. Did he really think I lacked self-respect to allow him to basically call me ugly and then proceed that I'm last on his list because he is the one who is in fact lonely and miserable?


Teens learn from a young age that they can use their bodies to get what they want because the world has many weak people and those people always go through issues like that because they are superficial just like the beautiful women or men they want . Of course being beautiful doesn't mean one is superficial but it is rare to find one who is not influenced by the world.

Another man was an undercover gay. Another man tried to impress me by pulling out all of his credit cards...um yeah I'm not that type of woman and that did the exact opposite and didn't impress me at all. If I do end up liking and loving someone it will because of their personality, morals, beliefs, etc, not what they have, how much money they got, and whatever superficial things that don't matter in the end.

Now these are just my personal experiences thus far, mostly bad ones so I can only imagine just how much of this goes on worldwide and that both men and women should have high standards and should never settle. Of course to each their own. I'm happily single and stress free, but if in the future I should meet a man and we're both compatible then sure I would give dating a try. Otherwise it's too many self-centered, controlling and manipulative, superficial men and on the flip side obviously women too.

Another guy was shaman and try to impress with magic. Anyway why need difficultes.Simple sex on and thats all.
 

Sonik

Member
I know it's anecdotal but I find it made men more hateful than women. They have communities around this strange/hateful/perverse view of women, it's weird.

I agree, women are just extremely entitled and they always think they're the victim when they can't get everything they think they're owed, if you read subreddits like r/TwoXchromosomes they're full of femcels complaining about men but in a less direct way. Men on the other hand are way more direct in their approach, they just straight up declare they hate women, and since there's a double standard with the tech woketards where they allow hate against men but not women these men all congregate in extreme communities specifically aimed at hating which makes them even worse.

And speaking of female delusion and reddit, you should really visit r/WitchesVsPatriarchy, it's a subreddit where feminists genuinely think they're witches and they're fighting against the patriarchy... with spells and shit
 
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Winter John

Member
People overcomplicate things.


I feel like a lot of guys who complain about this dont really offer much to the table in the first place and then wonder why they are passed up. I know that women have standards as well and the internet influences that, but the best thing you can do is a guy is stio wallowing in self pity about how unfair it is, and just work with what you have.
Uh huh. I agree. Too many times I see guys complaining they can't meet chicks. Usually followed by a bunch of comfort blanket fantasies about women and their evil ways. Meanwhile I stand behind my bar watching strangers meeting and hooking up almost every night of the week.
 

Fenix34

I remove teeth
Uh huh. I agree. Too many times I see guys complaining they can't meet chicks. Usually followed by a bunch of comfort blanket fantasies about women and their evil ways. Meanwhile I stand behind my bar watching strangers meeting and hooking up almost every night of the week.
You lucky where i stay there is a war and not deal to this.
 

Doczu

Member
I hope that by the time my sons will start dating this "system" (both for guys and girls) will implode and collapse.
 
Add in women using Snapchat and tiktok filters to post selfies and you men are all fucked, all these ladies pushing 3 maybe 4 on a good day posting up 8's onto dating websites and thinking they too good looking for your swamp beast features... Yeah fuck that, if the wife and I ever split, I'm staying single and getting a fucking dog
Are fucking dogs different to regular dogs? Why don't you just get a regular dog and a prostitute? :D
 

Hugare

Member
Just put on your profile that you just want to fuck

"Women just want something serious" my ass. They are either being disingenuous or looking in the wrong places.
 

Doczu

Member
Those single moms I've met say their kid is everything and the man comes second.

I respect the women owning the responsibility, but why in the world would any man accept such treatment?
I mean if your wife with your kids doesn't say they come before you...

Not to white knight single moms (cause it's still a world of difference), but this ain't such a crazy thing 🤷🏻‍♂️
 
I could write a whole essay about shitty dates I’ve had in the past, but I don’t have the time and doubt anyone would read it all. Luckily I’m married now with a kid on the way, so hopefully I’ll never have to date again.

That being said probably one of the most annoying things about dating was the double standards when it came to standards. A lot of people have always said I look young for my age, and because of that many younger girls were into me, but many of these girls were still in their teens while I was in my mid 20’s, so there was no way in hell I was even going to consider it, even if they were 18.

I wasn’t going to risk being accused of anything, but literally every girl took offense to me saying I would only date women 21+, and many just coped and claimed that I must be gay. Also if you have any standards in terms of weight women will freak out, while also wanting a guy who’s in shape.

Had an ex gf that constantly said she didn’t care about money but dumped me for some younger guy who’s parents were really well off. Shit like that. I learned that women saying one thing and meaning the opposite holds a lot of water.
 

dotnotbot

Member
I believe this drags along another serious problem:

hGOTXXo.png


And that's pre-pandemic data, I'm sure it's only getting worse now.
 
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LordOfChaos

Member
I posted my personal dating experiences a short while ago and can definitely relate in part to this. I'm still trying to date, I still get dates, but it's more not good than good and I'm half wondering if it's even worth it.

80% of women only swipe on the top 20% of men appearance wise, and say what you want about fixing up your profile but you can only really nudge it up a bit. The match rate of an average looking man is 1-2 in 100, so if you improve your odds by 20% that's still a whopping 1.2 in 100 match rate lol, and harder if you're a person of color (brown men are the least selected group in all of OLD). It's just created an incredible skew of most of the choice being on one side and as such only the top 20% of guys are matching the top 80% of women while everyone else is fighting for the attention of the bottom 20% of women and not as "across" as finding each other in real life would probably be.

So lets see. Lets say 100 swipes for 2 matches, 20% of matches converse back with you and ask questions and hold their side of the conversation, 30% of those 20% don't flake out when it moves to potentially meeting in person, maaybe 3 in 10 first dates turn into a second date...So basically, I'd have to swipe thousands more times and carry hundreds of more conversations to find that next long term relationship?


Some times it doesn't feel worth it apart from being attracted to women and liking sex lol. And this is before many of the other problems with modern dating where some people are just using you for a free dinner or lunch and you're just one in their list of dozens of dates without a real shot.


Honestly if sex work was legal 🤷🏽‍♂️, though I am trying to find something longer term.
 

Fenix34

I remove teeth
I posted my personal dating experiences a short while ago and can definitely relate in part to this. I'm still trying to date, I still get dates, but it's more not good than good and I'm half wondering if it's even worth it.

80% of women only swipe on the top 20% of men appearance wise, and say what you want about fixing up your profile but you can only really nudge it up a bit. The match rate of an average looking man is 1-2 in 100, so if you improve your odds by 20% that's still a whopping 1.2 in 100 match rate lol, and harder if you're a person of color (brown men are the least selected group in all of OLD). It's just created an incredible skew of most of the choice being on one side and as such only the top 20% of guys are matching the top 80% of women while everyone else is fighting for the attention of the bottom 20% of women and not as "across" as finding each other in real life would probably be.

So lets see. Lets say 100 swipes for 2 matches, 20% of matches converse back with you and ask questions and hold their side of the conversation, 30% of those 20% don't flake out when it moves to potentially meeting in person, maaybe 3 in 10 first dates turn into a second date...So basically, I'd have to swipe thousands more times and carry hundreds of more conversations to find that next long term relationship?


Some times it doesn't feel worth it apart from being attracted to women and liking sex lol. And this is before many of the other problems with modern dating where some people are just using you for a free dinner or lunch and you're just one in their list of dozens of dates without a real shot.


Honestly if sex work was legal 🤷🏽‍♂️, though I am trying to find something longer term.
Which site you use for dating?
 
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BlackTron

Member
Those single moms I've met say their kid is everything and the man comes second.

I respect the women owning the responsibility, but why in the world would any man accept such treatment?

I mean if your wife with your kids doesn't say they come before you...

Not to white knight single moms (cause it's still a world of difference), but this ain't such a crazy thing 🤷🏻‍♂️

The kids should come first and the guy should know that. Situations will naturally present where all else being equal, the kids need to be taken care of before the man, obviously. The problem is that this "my kids are everything, the man comes second" thing is presented early like some kind of declaration that you should be prepared to eat shit for any reason at any time just because kids exist, and that you need to be okay with it in advance. Instead of, you know, figuring out how to balance everyones needs along the way while respecting that kids are more important, just sign off on it up front before even knowing each other.
 

Ownage

Member
The kids should come first and the guy should know that. Situations will naturally present where all else being equal, the kids need to be taken care of before the man, obviously. The problem is that this "my kids are everything, the man comes second" thing is presented early like some kind of declaration that you should be prepared to eat shit for any reason at any time just because kids exist, and that you need to be okay with it in advance. Instead of, you know, figuring out how to balance everyones needs along the way while respecting that kids are more important, just sign off on it up front before even knowing each other.
Indeed, and the men are expected to sign off on it up front. It's not only a power move, it's a reflection of selfishness and immaturity - as well as a hint towards damaged goods (ultimatum ordering), and it's potentially damaging to the child if the relationship goes badly.

All of that being said, there are some amazing single moms. They just don't need to behave with ultimatums.
 
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Moneal

Member
Why are men disproportionality taking their lives at an expediential rate if all things are equal?
Women attempt more. Men succeed more. It's because men use guns or hanging while women use pills or slitting their wrists. Men use means that are much more immediate amd have less chance of intervention.
 

BlackTron

Member
Indeed, and the men are expected to sign off on it up front. It's not only a power move, it's a reflection of selfishness and immaturity - as well as a hint towards damaged goods (ultimatum ordering), and it's potentially damaging to the child if the relationship goes badly.

All of that being said, there are some amazing single moms. They just don't need to behave with ultimatums.

After my post I was thinking about how it's one more thing that's even worse IMO, using/hiding behind your kids for manipulation. Like having kids is the get out of jail free card for damn near everything. Of course they aren't likely to treat just a man like that, it's entitlement in general.

Edit: The women that take advantage of having kids to play games with people for their own benefit, while treating those same kids like crap with no attention or just raising them with a tablet, make my blood boil
 
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