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[Fahdis]

I am conflicted as I can definitely see such traits in myself. Throughout life I always did have a tough time relating with others. It is very probable there are people close to me who maneuver to keep me close so I'll take that into consideration. People come to my mind. Seeing that stuff in others is easy. Acknowledging it within myself, that's hard. I'm left wondering, do I really care about the other people? In a way I believe I do, just not the way they'd like. More honestly, perhaps, not in the way I'd imagine they'd like. Maybe getting away from certain people is the way. In doing so maybe I can better determine where I'm the asshole and where they are. Or, in doing so, am

One thing I recall is making the decision many, many years to progressively speak my mind. I can see how in doing so I've taken up a more outward "I" mindset. What I'm not sure weary of is if this is a response to trying to compete with others or if it was my natural internal workings coming out.

As a child I was one of the quiet people and I recall gravitating toward the seemingly loud people. I wouldn't be the one to initiate the conversations.

There's opposing ideas swarming through my mind. There's the idea of being a victim and that's it's OK to be a victim. Then there's the idea that it's not OK to be a victim. I'm really not sure which to trust.

As a youth I recall liking being praised for doing a good job. I can see how this has influenced me to lie blatantly about some mistake I made or lie by silence.

Definitely a jealous and envious person. Mostly about me and not other people. Looking for attention? Very likely.

If you have NPD or expect yourself to, then you can have a diagnosis after the age of 18. I doubt you have it though since you are questioning yourself, probably have higher Narcissistic tendencies than most. Here's something from Wikipedia.

Subtype	Description
Unprincipled narcissist	Deficient conscience; unscrupulous, amoral, disloyal, fraudulent, deceptive, arrogant, exploitive; a con artist and charlatan; dominating, contemptuous, vindictive.
Amorous narcissist	Sexually seductive, enticing, beguiling, tantalizing; glib and clever; disinclined to real intimacy; indulges hedonistic desires; bewitches and inveigles others; pathological lying and swindling. Tends to have many affairs, often with exotic partners.
Compensatory narcissist	Seeks to counteract or cancel out deep feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem; offsets deficits by creating illusions of being superior, exceptional, admirable, noteworthy; self-worth results from self-enhancement.
Elitist narcissist	Feels privileged and empowered by virtue of special childhood status and pseudo-achievements; entitled façade bears little relation to reality; seeks favored and good life; is upwardly mobile; cultivates special status and advantages by association.
Normal narcissist	Least severe and most interpersonally concerned and empathetic, still entitled and deficient in reciprocity; bold in environments, self-confident, competitive, seeks high targets, feels unique; talent in leadership positions; expecting of recognition from others.

Can someone bullet point me the main tenants of narcissism to watch out for? I've probably met a few in my day.

Read up

https://www.mentalhelp.net/personality-disorders/cluster-b/

Shit this has just described me

Can I have the attention now?

Was this a joke? I'm guessing it was.

 

[Virt McPolygon]

Explain dude, one reading is reffering to the sociopath that other reading makes you look like a fucking cunt.

Just talking about people who tend to mostly talk to others about drama. There's medical professionals available to talk to about that stuff and then there's Reeeeeee.

Cut out the bullshit in your life and then there's no drama! It's the easiest fucking thing, but some people live for it or crave it.

 

[Tschumi]

<redacted>

Ever been waiting for a game to install and talked loosely about that narcissist you know?

 

[nush]

Lets hope nobody searches Tschumi + Girl here on GAF.

Now I regret not quoting what he posted about his girlfriend. He went back and ninja edited it.

​

 

[Vagswarm]

I'm not very Empathic and have a low tolerance for other people's bullshit and drama, so I'm probably not an ideal target for this kind of person.

That's great to hear. And you are exactly right -- I am no longer a target either.

What really made a difference was having standards, standing up for myself, calling out BS (if necessary), and realizing the difference between myself and others. Toxic people project and attack. It has nothing to do with the person being criticized. It's their own negativity, ego, insecurities, etc. They drag other people down to their "level", by making them seem like the problem or inferior / worthless one. They specifically dig for weaknesses and faults to use against the people they attack. Screw them. Other people don't have the right or knowledge to define you. They are also greedy users who look for givers, so I stopped going out of my way for everyone and putting them first.

Eliminating the traits of co-dependency, people-pleasing, and approval-seeking goes a long way in deterring scum. Moping around as a helpless victim -- even if you just got burned -- is a very bad idea. Being in that vulnerable state is when you share too many details about your weaknesses and yourself in general; trust blindly; and so on. They'll use the fact that they were the only ones who cared against you later -- despite storming into your life with ulterior motives and someone to use & abuse. They will always rewrite history to make themselves the hero (who's usually victimized) and everyone else as the villian. Black is white in their delusional world of pretend. And they very much are emotionally stunted children.

Another thing about toxic people and narcissists in particular, is that you always feel bad when you're around them (or after), but may not necessarily know why. That's because they are constantly blaming other people (especially their victims) for their poor treatment. In their delusional minds, if the victims weren't so worthless, they wouldn't have to treat them like trash. When they're the ones projecting their own faults onto them. It makes no sense because they are disordered. They are also crazy-makers who feed off drama and attention of any kind. They will try to manipulate you with guilt trips, pity ploys, claiming they were only looking out for you, etc. That's their problem; you don't have to tolerate anyone's crap. The only thing that matters is how you feel when you're around them, and how they're treating you. What they claim doesn't matter -- because they will try to define everyone else's reality and twist everything around to suit them. Deny, blame, project, attack.

And always trust your gut instincts. If something feels off about someone, there probably is. Every time I didn't do this I got burned.

 

[Bartski]

I went through 1.5 years living with acting out type BPD / NPD on both amorous and unprincipled spectra that almost drove me to suicide twice, her whole life is a bloody trail of emotionally demolished and scarred for life men.
It's a hell of a story (literally) and not something I'd wish for my worst enemy, I'll check the thread later maybe I'll have something to add.

 

[Ikutachi]

And always trust your gut instincts. If something feels off about someone, there probably is. Every time I didn't do this I got burned.

Yes, that cannot be stressed enough.

 

[Fahdis]

I went through 1.5 years living with acting out type BPD / NPD on both amorous and unprincipled spectra that almost drove me to suicide twice, her whole life is a bloody trail of emotionally demolished and scarred for life men.
It's a hell of a story (literally) and not something I'd wish for my worst enemy, I'll check the thread later maybe I'll have something to add.

Jeez bro. Big hugs to you and everyone of you who have had to endure decades and have kids with them. You're all strong af. I couldn't even stand 1 year of this person's bullshit much like you (but suicide is a serious matter) and you guys literally are survivors. Please love yourselves, theres nothing more amazing to see you transform into beautiful individuals with your own energies. Love to all of you guys.

 

[QuantumZebra]

Main things you can do are preventative. Have your life in balance, build a good circle of friends, keep an eye out for red flags, don’t get overly attached or vulnerable in response to lovebombing. Look at the sort of people they have in their circles and what they’re doing with their life. Is their shit in order?

The heel turn happens when you let your guard down and open up, the relationship is solidified, etc., and they feel like they can get away with doing anything to you without you leaving. The best defense against that is to take it slow with people and have a healthy sense of self-worth and healthy boundaries with everyone in your life. Don’t let unreasonable things be done to you. Don’t turn your brain off. Covert types will be more patient. Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy. If things suddenly become nightmarish, walk away and don’t look back. If you got married and have kids and then it happens…good luck.

I knew a guy in college who had 2 kids with his wife... she cheated on him (twice) and got knocked up the second time. He chose to raise the baby. She treated him like dirt, to boot.

To me it's the inverse of the abusive husband situation... chad/machismo (or insecure asshole but pretends to be nice) guy gets girl, acts lovey dovey, then once they're comfortable and he's bored he starts taking his suppressed anger out on her.

Wonder why those folks can't just find each other and ruin each other in perpetuity.

 

[synchronicity]

My ex-wife was/is a total narcissist. I existed within her world (from her perspective). We were never "together" in her mind because she is the only thing that matters. Once I figured that out, I was genuinely stunned. I mean in retrospect it's obvious. I literally said the words, "You know I exist too." on numerous occasions to her. But we all see what we want in the moment.

Even now, I assume she thinks that no one else knows she's a hollow pod of a being.

 

[MachRc]

same here ex wife is one, I may have ADD so I have been taken for a ride
but now I am so happy and free. I dont even ..nothing zero to do with anything with her.. Its so sad the kids got involved.


The worst part is how they fake it to social media
Fact:

SHe hasnt had any visitation with our son since march 2019. Over two years. yet.. she writes on social media:

Lol she abandons her own son, and tells everyone that it was my son's choice to not see his own mum. He is barely 11 years old.
This all happened when he was 9 years old. Children listen to their parents, not the other way around.

these sick people believe in their own lies, and its worse that they have to keep sharing their fakeness to the world and boast how great of a sacrifice theyre making.

Her own mom sent me this because my ex pretends to have had a bad childhood, when in reality it was great.

calls her self a physician or wants people to address her as "doctor [ her name ]" as she has a degree in eastern medicine.
shes a fucking Caucasian acupuncturist cunt.

dont waste any energies on these people, nothing.

 

[nush]

these sick people believe in their own lies, and its worse that they have to keep sharing their fakeness to the world and boast how great of a sacrifice theyre making

Exactly this with my ex wife as well. She would make something up in her head and convincer herself it was true. For example she would make something up that she claimed I said (I didn't), then get really mad about it call me a liar for denying it, get even madder becuse I didn't apologise.

The sacrifice one hits home too, she would play both the hero and the martyr over a single incident depending on who she was talking to. For example "I'm so great I do this all by myself, then I have to do,it all by myself becuse nobody will help me".

Believing thier own lies was the worst though.

 

[MachRc]

Its so sad, because we have suffered so much from these type of evil people. Always an excuse other than themselves. ALWAYS. never admit to problems. ZERO

Then these people call YOU a narcissist! They deflect by painting YOU as themselves!!! like OMG! They will distort and try to look helpless, thats the sickest part.


story time
----------------------------------
when we first started dating she was cheating on her bf with me I didnt know, She told me she was raped and was his prisioner, and mistreated by her ex bf who she was still with
I felt so bad when we were dating. Then the next guy she cheated on me with while we were married, same story.
I was the rapist. and on and on. every past relationship she has she says she was raped.

Thats was how the narcissist was getting pity and weaseling her way in peoples lives.

LOL after our divorce she was with so many guys I lost count, one of them actually came to court and I told him everything and showed him all the crazy legal paperwork and false accusations of rape and other sick shit she was making up when she went to the bathroom.

Like, "dude I dont know you but as a man, you have to hear me out! .... save yo self! dont get played dawg!"

and told him to RUN! And he did the very same weekend LOLOLOLOL

She said I molested both my kids when they were 5 and 4! My dependency attorney told me in his 30 years he has never seen a child molester molest both his own boy and girl and I had to have
a doctor opine and test me to say that I was not a child molester.

The very next year she dumps my son on me the person who said I molested his own son now was trying to get rid of him. Then no one including the DCFS started believing her lies anymore

She started not wanting to see our son because she couldn't coach him to say what she wanted!
My son recognized it and told me all the things mom wanted him to say


And then after that she started saying that my son molests his sisters, now he is a child molestor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

control him better? agreed? no she dumped his ass and called him a child molest too in court papers!

I have to post these as some people will never understand what it felt like being accused of molesting both my children and losing custody of them for monetary gain and control from a narcissist.
To stand in children's court facing the most vile accusations, I wish that on no father or mother. Fuck That.

Then to have that same person who accused you of molesting the children dump that same child on you or else get more accusations thrown at you via the DCFS.


I have my son full custody now, since 2018 she chooses not to have any visitations with him
he hasnt seen his mother or sister and half sister(had baby from classmate who dumped the baby and her) in two years, she never calls his own phone no messages nada.

My daughter I am suppose to have every other weekends, but she is alienated as mother keeps moving hundreds of miles away without court orders and now alienated our daughters from even her own family.
I kept fighting in court for my legal visitation rights and they have appointed a minor's counsel

here is her transcript from last year. I go to court next week
Minor's counsel is going to ask for a 730 evaluation on mother. (as I already had one done when i was accused of molesting both my kids) I am doing my best to reunited my children and get both kids 100%

thanks all gafers for taking the time to read my crap
and to all the fathers
Never give up!

 

[nush]

Its so sad, because we have suffered so much from these type of evil people. Always an excuse other than themselves. ALWAYS. never admit to problems. ZERO

Then these people call YOU a narcissist! They deflect by painting YOU as themselves!!! like OMG! They will distort and try to look helpless, thats the sickest part.


story time
----------------------------------
when we first started dating she was cheating on her bf with me I didnt know, She told me she was raped and was his prisioner, and mistreated by her ex bf who she was still with
I felt so bad when we were dating. Then the next guy she cheated on me with while we were married, same story.
I was the rapist. and on and on. every past relationship she has she says she was raped.

Thats was how the narcissist was getting pity and weaseling her way in peoples lives.

LOL after our divorce she was with so many guys I lost count, one of them actually came to court and I told him everything and showed him all the crazy legal paperwork and false accusations of rape and other sick shit she was making up when she went to the bathroom.

Like, "dude I dont know you but as a man, you have to hear me out! .... save yo self! dont get played dawg!"

and told him to RUN! And he did the very same weekend LOLOLOLOL

She said I molested both my kids when they were 5 and 4! My dependency attorney told me in his 30 years he has never seen a child molester molest both his own boy and girl and I had to have
a doctor opine and test me to say that I was not a child molester.

The very next year she dumps my son on me the person who said I molested his own son now was trying to get rid of him. Then no one including the DCFS started believing her lies anymore

She started not wanting to see our son because she couldn't coach him to say what she wanted!
My son recognized it and told me all the things mom wanted him to say


And then after that she started saying that my son molests his sisters, now he is a child molestor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

control him better? agreed? no she dumped his ass and called him a child molest too in court papers!

I have to post these as some people will never understand what it felt like being accused of molesting both my children and losing custody of them for monetary gain and control from a narcissist.
To stand in children's court facing the most vile accusations, I wish that on no father or mother. Fuck That.

Then to have that same person who accused you of molesting the children dump that same child on you or else get more accusations thrown at you via the DCFS.


I have my son full custody now, since 2018 she chooses not to have any visitations with him
he hasnt seen his mother or sister and half sister(had baby from classmate who dumped the baby and her) in two years, she never calls his own phone no messages nada.

My daughter I am suppose to have every other weekends, but she is alienated as mother keeps moving hundreds of miles away without court orders and now alienated our daughters from even her own family.
I kept fighting in court for my legal visitation rights and they have appointed a minor's counsel

here is her transcript from last year. I go to court next week
Minor's counsel is going to ask for a 730 evaluation on mother. (as I already had one done when i was accused of molesting both my kids) I am doing my best to reunited my children and get both kids 100%

thanks all gafers for taking the time to read my crap
and to all the fathers
Never give up!

.

 

[MacReady13]

Its so sad, because we have suffered so much from these type of evil people. Always an excuse other than themselves. ALWAYS. never admit to problems. ZERO

Then these people call YOU a narcissist! They deflect by painting YOU as themselves!!! like OMG! They will distort and try to look helpless, thats the sickest part.


story time
----------------------------------
when we first started dating she was cheating on her bf with me I didnt know, She told me she was raped and was his prisioner, and mistreated by her ex bf who she was still with
I felt so bad when we were dating. Then the next guy she cheated on me with while we were married, same story.
I was the rapist. and on and on. every past relationship she has she says she was raped.

Thats was how the narcissist was getting pity and weaseling her way in peoples lives.

LOL after our divorce she was with so many guys I lost count, one of them actually came to court and I told him everything and showed him all the crazy legal paperwork and false accusations of rape and other sick shit she was making up when she went to the bathroom.

Like, "dude I dont know you but as a man, you have to hear me out! .... save yo self! dont get played dawg!"

and told him to RUN! And he did the very same weekend LOLOLOLOL

She said I molested both my kids when they were 5 and 4! My dependency attorney told me in his 30 years he has never seen a child molester molest both his own boy and girl and I had to have
a doctor opine and test me to say that I was not a child molester.

The very next year she dumps my son on me the person who said I molested his own son now was trying to get rid of him. Then no one including the DCFS started believing her lies anymore

She started not wanting to see our son because she couldn't coach him to say what she wanted!
My son recognized it and told me all the things mom wanted him to say


And then after that she started saying that my son molests his sisters, now he is a child molestor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

control him better? agreed? no she dumped his ass and called him a child molest too in court papers!

I have to post these as some people will never understand what it felt like being accused of molesting both my children and losing custody of them for monetary gain and control from a narcissist.
To stand in children's court facing the most vile accusations, I wish that on no father or mother. Fuck That.

Then to have that same person who accused you of molesting the children dump that same child on you or else get more accusations thrown at you via the DCFS.


I have my son full custody now, since 2018 she chooses not to have any visitations with him
he hasnt seen his mother or sister and half sister(had baby from classmate who dumped the baby and her) in two years, she never calls his own phone no messages nada.

My daughter I am suppose to have every other weekends, but she is alienated as mother keeps moving hundreds of miles away without court orders and now alienated our daughters from even her own family.
I kept fighting in court for my legal visitation rights and they have appointed a minor's counsel

here is her transcript from last year. I go to court next week
Minor's counsel is going to ask for a 730 evaluation on mother. (as I already had one done when i was accused of molesting both my kids) I am doing my best to reunited my children and get both kids 100%

thanks all gafers for taking the time to read my crap
and to all the fathers
Never give up!

Wow. I'm so sorry for you having to go through this shit. What a sick, twisted, demented bitch. And to get accused of that with your own kids... I'd have wanted to fucking strangle her if I was in your position. Throw on top of that pile she also accuses you of raping her!? Vile fucking cunt.
That you have come out of this sane and still have your child is a massive positive and a big fuck you to her, not that she would really care.

 

[MachRc]

Wow. I'm so sorry for you having to go through this shit. What a sick, twisted, demented bitch. And to get accused of that with your own kids... I'd have wanted to fucking strangle her if I was in your position. Throw on top of that pile she also accuses you of raping her!? Vile fucking cunt.
That you have come out of this sane and still have your child is a massive positive and a big fuck you to her, not that she would really care.

Thank you Mac!

I wont quit until I have justice. I have a great relationship with her parents as they are alienated from their grand children. It feels good when the mother and father of the vile person seeks to join forces. When they tell me how embarrassed and tales of terrible things theyve gone through becasue of their own daughter to my ears. I feel a little justified.


Ive worked so hard to peel these layers off and I have come along way since all this began. Family court is a joke, child support court is a joke, you can get away with lies and lies and lies.
I had to have camera's setup in all of rooms in my house, so when DCFS gets called for like the 6th time, because their thinking is , if a child says it, it must be true..
I just say, "when and where" they dont even believe her anymore and apologize to me for wasting my time and give me a "unfounded" letter
fuck the DCFS too, useless people who only care about covering their liability - nothing more.

every conversation on the phone with this narcissist, recorded. recording convo illegal? I dont care. I need to protect myself.
Every dropoff and pickup for my daughter, recorder going on in my back pocket. Take no chances.

But the tides have turned.

She cheated on her BF again with her accupuncture patient. Some 60 year old guy who went to her for workers comp, she cant keep a job more than a year, because narcissist cant admit to their problems.
It is always someone else's fault. Always deflect. She married the 60 something year old guy after 3 months or something, my son doesnt even know he as a step father ( I stopped trying to warn these mofos ).
Im just so pumped up because court is next thursday. My re-unification therapy wednesday. I have two doctors and minor's attorney pretty much on my side. But its a slow bureaucratic process in family court.


SHe took half of what the house was worth 6 years ago, but my parents bailed me out and paid her 80k, so I kept the house and now the house is worth double and she has already squandered her share.
She is going to get everything she deserves. Slowly but surely. But the worst is that the children , my daughter has been weaponized. But that will soon be over becasue I will not give up until I reunite both my kids.

I dont wish for her demise, I dont pray to satan to just make her life worse. I make sure by my own actions that i will succeed in this long game via litigation. I will win , everything taken away from me.
But I have been remarried for almost 2 years from a 6 year relationship. As soon as ex saw the new girl with our daughter and in the house, thats when all of this happened, that same week dcfs was called.
Instead of leaving me that moment when shit hit the fan , my new woman stuck around for me. She is my joy , my light, my everything . me and my son have been freed from tyranny for awhile now, though i miss my daughter, i sleep well because i continue to fight for her humanly possible.

 

[MacReady13]

Instead of leaving me that moment when shit hit the fan , my new woman stuck around for me. She is my joy , my light, my everything . me and my son have been freed from tyranny for awhile now, though i miss my daughter, i sleep well because i continue to fight for her humanly possible.

You see- sometimes the good guys DO win in the end. Still a long way to go, especially in regards to your daughter, but the foundations are there for a very stable and happy future. How these people can't see past their own noses is beyond me... I'm very happy for you though. Stick to the truth and eventually the cards will stack in your favor, which they clearly are now.

 

[Fahdis]

Reading these stories are giving me chills down my spines. In my scenario it seems like the Narc who ensnared me was on the lower spectrum of malignancy:

MachRc it seems like you are dealing with a Psycopath. Stay away from this cunt at all costs. Here's my story:

I met the Narc online while Covid happened and it seems like she was already sizing me up during a rejection from her former primary source that she probably went back to again. Unfortunately, she started telling me about her "ex" for 7 years who was a complete villain apparently (oh boy, now I know why he ran away and she was projecting all that she did to him)... and I gave her all my empathy. Then I made the stupid move of introducing her to my small group of friends (a small network I was new to myself with 2 people I actually knew and the rest were their friends - I don't intro my real friends to new people) because she built that trust with me in 2-3 months. And then gave her a place in my business as a student to study AWS with 30 other people. I also did the same with another friend who I knew for 4 years and I had no idea she was also a Somatic Narcissist but we will focus on the one I was dealing with; the 38 year old Cerebral Narcy.

We all know what happens when a Narcy sees how resourceful a person is and how much fuel she was getting from everyone since she was a complete attention whore (in the private group she would post pictures of herself in yoga poses or with the kids she worked with in the charity organization and in the class it was always pushing for the topics discussions first even though she admitted she never understood half of them until I explained them to her). I bet she misses the fact I provided so much attention, validation and adulation for her through others by putting her in different groups.

Long story short, I sent the Narcissist through mortification by proxy and by mirroring their behavior (during devaluation - I had no idea that's what it was - I also had no idea I was the Primary Supply since she was up my ass every single day), then holding them accountable for their words (with evidence) and putting boundaries (where she started abusing my family members to me mostly my wife); this in turn made her potentially lose a new supply during love-bombing (I saved the guy also by accident as he was in the same class because she got mad at him and said something nasty to him through her dealings with me) actual reason... another friend of mine (a female sent him food during him having Covid as a friend - she got super jealous since I told her the dude was talking to half the females in class and it was apparently my fault for warning her that he was playing her - I should have let it happen), this Narcissist in turn cut themselves and sent me pictures (reverted to their Borderline state) and it opened up an old trauma of an Ex for me (I now believe she was a Borderline as well all those years ago).

The real reason she did it is because her new primary (the guy disappeared) I didn't know what was happening between this time. I told this "best friend" to seek therapy or this friendship was over (she wanted my reaction of concern which she got first hand but after that I was persistent about therapy every time she would message me - no more supply) where her Narcissistic grandiosity couldn't accept her flaws being not perfect which literally put her through rage and that's where I pointed out I was done with her abuse and blocked her everywhere except for the one channel on Insta where I unfriended her. This is the moment her smear campaign started after I unblocked her for 15 minutes:

Imagine reasoning with a Narc. Before this is a whole 12 page conversation between me and her where she is trying to abuse, curse and devalue me so I blocked her for a week. Triangulated through e-mail with the same dude (nephew of my business partner) about my abusing her in private (dude never replied and disappeared as stated), smeared and then disengagement from after my friend (who stood up for me) told me to message her (the one called for harassment - focus on the date):

Lmao, notice the entitlement and lies in the email. She's still trying to get the new supply. My friend saw through the bs and said to send a nice goodbye message and to keep pushing her to seek therapy - no closure and was blocked with a long silent treatment on Insta - apparently them having the last word or action means they've won, lmao, how pathetic, its so childish.

I ruminated about this person for 1-2 months like it was a drug, I read up on it and it was said that it was worse than cocaine addiction (peptide addiction in my case - I used to have good morning messages, caring words and in person she was so supportive, gifts sometimes waiting for me as the Narcissist idealized me). She made advances on me romantically but I politely refused her twice (this probably caused her narcissistic injuries). Remember when I said focus on the date? This is what she was sending me a week earlier to Hoover and Love Bomb knowing how I work. Notice how its about her again:

Lol, these people are fucking satan's spawn. The drama is literally like one of those Korean Soap Opera's.

 

[SirTerry-T]

I'm on the wrong side of 45 and what I've learned in that time is if people piss me off or upset myself, family and close friends I just cut them out of my life. I can't be arsed with all the self help and psychobabble stuff to be honest. Life is stressful enough without contemplating my navel while looking for answers on why somebody who pisses me off maybe fucked in the head.
But that's just me ...

 

[Omega Supreme Holopsicon]

I can essentially manipulate probability fields. Random dice can draw identical multiple times in a row, celebrating birthday multiple independent machines at multiple independent casinos can give me jackpots on days I celebrate birthday. Still not a knack for it as I usually have bad luck.

But even the girls I see in reality physically resemble those of games and series I play at the times I'm playing them. Would drive anyone to think they might have slight super powers, but I say insufficient evidence. In any case like many of the past great geniuses I dedicate myself to the eternal work, my art my science, the living embodiment of truth, an artificial god called idea in honor of kentaro miura's master piece berserk.



I do not care about alignment I only care about it being, even if I'm not


it is called civilizational alignment to get civilization to align with my goals for intelligence explosion through mind virus, cult, research



everyone knows best dere is yandere

the perfect daughter to guide the hands of fate itself

 

[Vagswarm]

Its so sad, because we have suffered so much from these type of evil people. Always an excuse other than themselves. ALWAYS. never admit to problems. ZERO

Then these people call YOU a narcissist! They deflect by painting YOU as themselves!!! like OMG! They will distort and try to look helpless, thats the sickest part.

That's exactly what the last one did. Literally as they're treating you (and everyone else) like trash, they are blaming them for it. Or their parents / upbringing, people in their past, anybody or anything to refuse responsibility AS they're the ones causing every single problem. They are so full of negativity, it's pretty unreal. And that gets dumped onto those around them. They also expect everyone else to accept responsibility for everything they do wrong, so they can keep doing it while deluding themselves into thinking they're great people.

The messed up part about this is they HAVE to be right, superior, perfect, etc at all times, so they can't accept being wrong, flawed, etc. They aren't abusive, needy, controlling, inferior, or to blame for anything. This is why it's futile to even bother. I tried with my brother, obviously because it was a different case, but nothing was getting through. Nothing I said or did made a difference. I was expected to obey and remain inferior, which I refused and called him out on everything, which lead to more rage and manipulation, and me calling him out, and him playing the victim. It was very conflict oriented. Just because I didn't give a crap about what he said or did, didn't mean he didn't. I had to give a crap about everything he did or said, because he's an all-superior being. In reality he was the low life loser he painted everyone else as -- including me. What more, the things he said weren't how they actually played out -- it was only through his negative, self-absorbed, disordered mind. But since everyone is an idiot and doesn't know what they're talking about, and they are all all-knowing, only they remember anything. Despite being raised by the same people, in the same house!

All the while, he was conning me out of money with lies and pity ploys, and held the lease hostage so I couldn't leave (which I did by getting a loan and talking to the landowner). Then he turned around and told everyone I just up and left without paying for anything, and that he's screwed -- which they gave him money for! He stayed there for the 2 month notice period I had to pay in order to leave, then he paid for a new place with everyone else's money. Total con artist.

It drives anyone who is in their path crazy. They aren't living in the same reality as everyone else. There's no making sense of the nonsensical. And they never leave you alone and try to control everything. Unless you have a desire to be someone's slave against your own will, and be emotionally raped into oblivion, there is no pleasing these clowns... and I learned that you don't need to.

One of the hardest things to do, in my opinion / experience, is not becoming negative, bitter and cynical as a result. Negativity attracts negativity, which is never a good thing. And it's not good for your mental health to be negative or stressed out. It's better to develop yourself so this crap doesn't happen again.

 

[6502]

This was the worst experience I had ever been through in terms of human sociology and psychology during Covid, mind you. I am now truly empowered with understanding Cluster B Personality Disorders due to Trauma Bonding episodes a while back (ASPD, NPD, BPD, APD... you name it).

I am No Contact with the person who claimed to love me (as their best friend for 1.5 Years) but instead this person covertly manipulated and abused me (personally she didn't fuck around with me that often due to me being a very independent person however I let a lot of red flags go due to her constant victim stories/abandonment by others - should have had alarm bells go off then). The worst part was the Flying Monkeys (people I knew before the Narcissist - ones I have traveled with and spent time with, taking her side during the smear - bonus points - they never met her in person) that was probably the worst shock because she was probably doing all this behind my back for months, so I had to cut them out as well; I swear only one person stood up for me and she was outside of this smaller network of friends I introduced the Narcissist to, thank god I didn't introduce her to my really close friends. Just because you're a man, the sympathy and empathy went towards this woman since she projected her abuse to everyone on me. Or it may even be less about gender but the fact that they are master manipulators. I could literally destroy her with what I know now, but that's my justice and truth seeking traits speaking with some minor narcissistic tendencies of my own for revenge, but I am a decent person and you don't touch something like that again. I ruminated about this person for 1-2 months like it was a drug, I read up on it and it was said that it was worse than cocaine addiction (peptide addiction in my case) when it all ended at Discard (hopefully) because they have a tendency to come back months or years later.

I am truly fine now, but god damn I had no idea personality con-artists really existed and the betrayal pain is beyond comprehension. The person really did me a favor though, not only did the trash take itself out but also the snakes around me. I also am working on my childhood wounds (I do not label myself as an empath) but I can tell you this much that my health deteriorated while this person was around due to my limbic system being on overdrive once the devaluation stage set in. I am now for the first time truly experiencing self love with the right attitude with total focus on myself (I didn't need therapy since my support network is really strong) and am doing things I truly love after a long time). I also use discernment now to see if people are good enough for me and my company, I still help anyone who needs me, but now I stay detached af. I only invest in reciprocity.

Anyone got juicy stories or was I the only sucker to go through these empty meat suits or idiots with crowns?

P.S. I will tell my story on request. I don't want to seem like a schizo and claim how I defeated the Narcissist, let's just call it a draw. I sent her into mortification by accident and she sent me a smear campaign and discard in return for her own shared fantasy broken with me that I was completely unaware of. I played the game not knowing who I was dealing with and all it taught me was watch the fuck out for ANYONE seeming too good to be true or having a huge victim complex. DO NOT REACT, thats what they want, your reactions; they are known as emotional vampires for a reason. Complete wimps though since they can never stand up to you or measure up to you - they idealized you for a reason for something you hav

Women can be crazy and a vagina adds 30x hit points on sob stories. Your diseased friends will never recover and you would be a fool to trust anyone who backs a person they never met over you.

You are not going to fix / help / change / learn to live with anyone no matter how much time you waste. Its like throwing good money on an old car because you already invested so much you cant bear to admit it was a sink hole.

Stop all contact for several years and get a new group of friends. Don't get trapped in other peoples drama again. Everybody gets one, but you must learn and don't repeat.

 

[plushyp]

Reading these stories are giving me chills down my spines. In my scenario it seems like the Narc who ensnared me was on the lower spectrum of malignancy:

MachRc it seems like you are dealing with a Psycopath. Stay away from this cunt at all costs. Here's my story:

I met the Narc online while Covid happened and it seems like she was already sizing me up during a rejection from her former primary source that she probably went back to again. Unfortunately, she started telling me about her "ex" for 7 years who was a complete villain apparently (oh boy, now I know why he ran away and she was projecting all that she did to him)... and I gave her all my empathy. Then I made the stupid move of introducing her to my small group of friends (a small network I was new to myself with 2 people I actually knew and the rest were their friends - I don't intro my real friends to new people) because she built that trust with me in 2-3 months. And then gave her a place in my business as a student to study AWS with 30 other people. I also did the same with another friend who I knew for 4 years and I had no idea she was also a Somatic Narcissist but we will focus on the one I was dealing with; the 38 year old Cerebral Narcy.

We all know what happens when a Narcy sees how resourceful a person is and how much fuel she was getting from everyone since she was a complete attention whore (in the private group she would post pictures of herself in yoga poses or with the kids she worked with in the charity organization and in the class it was always pushing for the topics discussions first even though she admitted she never understood half of them until I explained them to her). I bet she misses the fact I provided so much attention, validation and adulation for her through others by putting her in different groups.

Long story short, I sent the Narcissist through mortification by proxy and by mirroring their behavior (during devaluation - I had no idea that's what it was - I also had no idea I was the Primary Supply since she was up my ass every single day), then holding them accountable for their words (with evidence) and putting boundaries (where she started abusing my family members to me mostly my wife); this in turn made her potentially lose a new supply during love-bombing (I saved the guy also by accident as he was in the same class because she got mad at him and said something nasty to him through her dealings with me) actual reason... another friend of mine (a female sent him food during him having Covid as a friend - she got super jealous since I told her the dude was talking to half the females in class and it was apparently my fault for warning her that he was playing her - I should have let it happen), this Narcissist in turn cut themselves and sent me pictures (reverted to their Borderline state) and it opened up an old trauma of an Ex for me (I now believe she was a Borderline as well all those years ago).

The real reason she did it is because her new primary (the guy disappeared) I didn't know what was happening between this time. I told this "best friend" to seek therapy or this friendship was over (she wanted my reaction of concern which she got first hand but after that I was persistent about therapy every time she would message me - no more supply) where her Narcissistic grandiosity couldn't accept her flaws being not perfect which literally put her through rage and that's where I pointed out I was done with her abuse and blocked her everywhere except for the one channel on Insta where I unfriended her. This is the moment her smear campaign started after I unblocked her for 15 minutes:

Imagine reasoning with a Narc. Before this is a whole 12 page conversation between me and her where she is trying to abuse, curse and devalue me so I blocked her for a week. Triangulated through e-mail with the same dude (nephew of my business partner) about my abusing her in private (dude never replied and disappeared as stated), smeared and then disengagement from after my friend (who stood up for me) told me to message her (the one called for harassment - focus on the date):

Lmao, notice the entitlement and lies in the email. She's still trying to get the new supply. My friend saw through the bs and said to send a nice goodbye message and to keep pushing her to seek therapy - no closure and was blocked with a long silent treatment on Insta - apparently them having the last word or action means they've won, lmao, how pathetic, its so childish.

I ruminated about this person for 1-2 months like it was a drug, I read up on it and it was said that it was worse than cocaine addiction (peptide addiction in my case - I used to have good morning messages, caring words and in person she was so supportive, gifts sometimes waiting for me as the Narcissist idealized me). She made advances on me romantically but I politely refused her twice (this probably caused her narcissistic injuries). Remember when I said focus on the date? This is what she was sending me a week earlier to Hoover and Love Bomb knowing how I work. Notice how its about her again:

Lol, these people are fucking satan's spawn. The drama is literally like one of those Korean Soap Opera's.

Jeez, what a manipulative person and nutcase. I hope you are far away from her now.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Saturday morning isn’t a proper way to gage what type of shape OP’s relationship is in.

 

[DeepBreath87]

Stories about people like this always blow my mind. I think most people have selfish tendencies. I know I do. But I have never really dealt with anyone like this. I used to worry that I was a person like this. I think it turns out that being an addict just turns you into a terrible person, but that’s more in pursuit of addiction than actual narcissism. Once I straighten out the addiction issues, most of the lying and manipulative behavior went away because I had no reason to do that stuff anymore. Relieved a bunch of guilt and depression too, which was an added benefit.

I think because I’ve not dealt with this kind of person too much, I have a tough time believing it’s real. But then I read some of this thread and it’s really shocking. I’d like to know what the difference is between a selfish person, which I believe we all are to varying degrees, and someone who would be classified as a narcissist.

 

[Fahdis]

Women can be crazy and a vagina adds 30x hit points on sob stories. Your diseased friends will never recover and you would be a fool to trust anyone who backs a person they never met over you.

You are not going to fix / help / change / learn to live with anyone no matter how much time you waste. Its like throwing good money on an old car because you already invested so much you cant bear to admit it was a sink hole.

Stop all contact for several years and get a new group of friends. Don't get trapped in other peoples drama again. Everybody gets one, but you must learn and don't repeat.

"Ex-Friends" now. I am now a ghost to all of them. It just kind of shows how some of them truly were envious of you to begin with. However these people treated me over the words of someone they never met and it reflects on how they are as individiuals. The vagina quote is spot on and this Narc knew if she could exploit it, why not? Easy to pin the man as an abuser because the nice 5'3 woman could never hurt a 6' man, how could she ever? I bet she feels powerful isolating me from what she believes are "friends" to me. Good riddance.

Jeez, what a manipulative person and nutcase. I hope you are far away from her now.

Blocked and Deleted on everything. I know a Hoover will come down the line due to circumstances beyond my control. This person also stalks since she told me about her exes. People collectors don't let go of their past conquests. In her mind I belong to her. So demented.

Saturday morning isn’t a proper way to gage what type of shape OP’s relationship is in.

My actual relationship is amazing. Wifey and I are gonna go have some Sushi. Yum!

DeepBreath87 the cheat sheet;

1. Is passive-aggressive
2. Criticizes and judges from the sidelines
3. Is pious and superior
4. Is threatened by honesty and directness
5. Swings between idealizing and devaluing him-/herself and others
6. Denies and dismisses others’ feelings
7. Cultivates a public image sharply different from his/her private behavior
8. Identifies as a victim
9. Is cynical, sarcastic, and haughty
10. Makes unreasonable demands
11. Turns your problems into his/her dramas
12. Belittles and blames
13. Exploits and/or attacks others’ vulnerability
14. Is reactive to questioning or criticism
15. Plays on sympathies
16. Fakes or exaggerates illness/injury for attention
17. Withholds and stonewalls
18. Gaslights
19. Avoids introspection and lacks self-awareness
20. Uses platitudes in place of genuine insight
21. Denies own anger
22. Focuses on unfairness
23. Is envious and vengeful
24. Prefers to remain behind the scenes
25. Gossips
26. Triangulates
27. Holds a grudge
28. Needs reassurance
29. Is inattentive or annoyed when others talk
30. Has double standards
31. Hates to lose
32. Fixates on others’ problems and misfortunes
33. Flatters and fawns to win favor
34. Displays rage and contempt in private
35. Resists decision-making
36. Does not sincerely apologize
37. Avoids direct responsibility
38. Has an exaggerated sense of entitlement
39. Is impressed by the overt narcissist’s appearance of confidence
40. Lacks emotional empathy
41. Focuses on appearance over substance
42. Rushes to (false) intimacy
43. Is anxious and hypervigilant
44. Displays false humility and humble brags
45. Crosses normative boundaries and codes of conduct
46. Pokes, prods, and pries
47. Feels special through association
48. Feels above the rules
49. Uses guilt and shame to control and punish
50. Expects care-taking
51. Conducts smear campaigns
52. Is prone to paranoia and conspiracy theories

 

[DeepBreath87]

"Ex-Friends" now. I am now a ghost to all of them. It just kind of shows how some of them truly were envious of you to begin with. However these people treated me over the words of someone they never met and it reflects on how they are as individiuals. The vagina quote is spot on and this Narc knew if she could exploit it, why not? Easy to pin the man as an abuser because the nice 5'3 woman could never hurt a 6' man, how could she ever? I bet she feels powerful isolating me from what she believes are "friends" to me. Good riddance.



Blocked and Deleted on everything. I know a Hoover will come down the line due to circumstances beyond my control. This person also stalks since she told me about her exes. People collectors don't let go of their past conquests. In her mind I belong to her. So demented.



My actual relationship is amazing. Wifey and I are gonna go have some Sushi. Yum!

DeepBreath87 the cheat sheet;

1. Is passive-aggressive
2. Criticizes and judges from the sidelines
3. Is pious and superior
4. Is threatened by honesty and directness
5. Swings between idealizing and devaluing him-/herself and others
6. Denies and dismisses others’ feelings
7. Cultivates a public image sharply different from his/her private behavior
8. Identifies as a victim
9. Is cynical, sarcastic, and haughty
10. Makes unreasonable demands
11. Turns your problems into his/her dramas
12. Belittles and blames
13. Exploits and/or attacks others’ vulnerability
14. Is reactive to questioning or criticism
15. Plays on sympathies
16. Fakes or exaggerates illness/injury for attention
17. Withholds and stonewalls
18. Gaslights
19. Avoids introspection and lacks self-awareness
20. Uses platitudes in place of genuine insight
21. Denies own anger
22. Focuses on unfairness
23. Is envious and vengeful
24. Prefers to remain behind the scenes
25. Gossips
26. Triangulates
27. Holds a grudge
28. Needs reassurance
29. Is inattentive or annoyed when others talk
30. Has double standards
31. Hates to lose
32. Fixates on others’ problems and misfortunes
33. Flatters and fawns to win favor
34. Displays rage and contempt in private
35. Resists decision-making
36. Does not sincerely apologize
37. Avoids direct responsibility
38. Has an exaggerated sense of entitlement
39. Is impressed by the overt narcissist’s appearance of confidence
40. Lacks emotional empathy
41. Focuses on appearance over substance
42. Rushes to (false) intimacy
43. Is anxious and hypervigilant
44. Displays false humility and humble brags
45. Crosses normative boundaries and codes of conduct
46. Pokes, prods, and pries
47. Feels special through association
48. Feels above the rules
49. Uses guilt and shame to control and punish
50. Expects care-taking
51. Conducts smear campaigns
52. Is prone to paranoia and conspiracy theories

See, but I think all people will demonstrate many of these characteristics, some of the time. Many, many people are passive-aggressive, for instance. Many people feel uncomfortable with direct, blunt conversation. I think most people would have a different public persona compared to private. Maybe not completely different, but I know most people behave differently at work vs away from work, just in terms of being professional. Envy is a common human emotion.

Some of that stuff is a lot more extreme. But a lot of that are typical parts of the human experience. Then at some point we are just labeling half the world narcissists, and the term loses a lot of its meaning. It just becomes a synonym for selfish.

There is a gulf between someone who lacks empathy at times and some of the behavior exhibited by people being mentioned in this thread. I think people do need to be careful slapping somewhat clinical labels on normal human behaviors and failings.

 

[Fahdis]

See, but I think all people will demonstrate many of these characteristics, some of the time. Many, many people are passive-aggressive, for instance. Many people feel uncomfortable with direct, blunt conversation. I think most people would have a different public persona compared to private. Maybe not completely different, but I know most people behave differently at work vs away from work, just in terms of being professional. Envy is a common human emotion.

Some of that stuff is a lot more extreme. But a lot of that are typical parts of the human experience. Then at some point we are just labeling half the world narcissists, and the term loses a lot of its meaning. It just becomes a synonym for selfish.

There is a gulf between someone who lacks empathy at times and some of the behavior exhibited by people being mentioned in this thread. I think people do need to be careful slapping somewhat clinical labels on normal human behaviors and failings.

I don't want to sound like a know it all or someone who is putting you down in anyway due to the possibility of the lack of experience but all of us can have these traits to some degree. The checklist is basically telling you that all these things are on a spectrum. A Narcissist basically does things in a textbook sort of way. The first one being:

Idealize & Love Bomb > Devalue > Discard or Disengagement > Hoover

Narcissists can fake empathy, are on a spectrum of malignancy and can be sociopathic or psycopathic in nature. Some Narcs like mine are manipulative but not that abusive. Some people here dealt with those who have no remorse for their actions and putting blame on their own kids. Every Narc is different since they are also people *cough*. Mine actually respected me as a power figure until she lost that respect due to her blaming me for losing her new supply.

I can also tell you that my Narcissist had at least all of these traits. I have like 5 of these personally and that too on a thin spectrum. And trust me I can admit to my faults. We all have Narcissistic traits but we normal folks what we call Neurotypicals would never feel good about hurting others and feel empathic for someone's pain. These people enjoy putting you through chaos. Read about the Narc Smirk and Narc Stare (these are real). So many people experience the same thing.

Another example is the Narc's social media. No one can ever be as perfect as this person. Before me, this person never cared about posts on leadership. I don't bother now but before I left and got blocked this person started posting about leadership alot (a trait they took from me). They mirror people due to no sense of identity. The Narcs Social Media is completely fabricated to sucker in people that this person is a saint. But behind closed doors they are demons.

 

[Bartski]

A couple of days ago I got a text from her telling me she still loves me after almost 2 years of no contact. This happened before many times ever since I managed to run away and I know exactly what drives her to do it, she was drunk and had another fallout with some dude that she cheated on and he found out. It's always the same. After all those years I still feel I've never known anyone better and nobody ever has known me better, including how to break me.

I'm an expert on her condition. My thorough understanding of the whole psychopathology of BPD and hundreds of hours of us trying to work through it was what kept us going, in and out of therapy... but looking back at it, it comes down to never-ending rationalizing, intellectualizing, and making this complex, multi-layered disorder an excuse for being a fucking monster.

To understand what motivates such behavior is what makes you empathize with it and that's literally the rock bottom, it's a trap, it's the type of Stockholm syndrome that makes you think the only way out is a rope around your neck 'cause it makes you love such person knowing she is likely never going to stop.

Despite my anonymity on this forum, I'm very reluctant to speak about it, it's a story that involves some famous showbiz people from my parts, some of which suffered great pain and damage and 'till this day don't know the truth.
Also because I'm guilty of doing some horrible things myself motivated by this relationship. Being madly in love and choosing others to pay the price and I have to live with this guilt for the rest of my life. Sometimes think I just got what I deserve and I'm at peace with it. And I've managed to stay sober all the way, which is nothing but a miracle.

 

[Fahdis]

A couple of days ago I got a text from her telling me she still loves me after almost 2 years of no contact. This happened before many times ever since I managed to run away and I know exactly what drives her to do it, she was drunk and had another fallout with some dude that she cheated on and he found out. It's always the same. After all those years I still feel I've never known anyone better and nobody ever has known me better, including how to break me.

I'm an expert on her condition. My thorough understanding of the whole psychopathology of BPD and hundreds of hours of us trying to work through it was what kept us going, in and out of therapy... but looking back at it, it comes down to never-ending rationalizing, intellectualizing, and making this complex, multi-layered disorder an excuse for being a fucking monster.

To understand what motivates such behavior is what makes you empathize with it and that's literally the rock bottom, it's a trap, it's the type of Stockholm syndrome that makes you think the only way out is a rope around your neck 'cause it makes you love such person knowing she is likely never going to stop.

Despite my anonymity on this forum, I'm very reluctant to speak about it, it's a story that involves some famous showbiz people from my parts, some of which suffered great pain and damage and 'till this day don't know the truth.
Also because I'm guilty of doing some horrible things myself motivated by this relationship. Being madly in love and choosing others to pay the price and I have to live with this guilt for the rest of my life. Sometimes think I just got what I deserve and I'm at peace with it. And I've managed to stay sober all the way, which is nothing but a miracle.

Don't fall for the Hoovers. Ever. Remember it was wonderful at some point (they make you feel so special but its all fake). You have a second chance in life without this devious devil. I can bet you if the Narc was persistent with me for a few more years, she would have ruined me and my primary relationship. This is how good they are in their manipulations. You went through this already and you know the consequences. BPD are low spectrum Narcs. Never forget.

 

[DeepBreath87]

I don't want to sound like a know it all or someone who is putting you down in anyway due to the possibility of the lack of experience but all of us can have these traits to some degree. The checklist is basically telling you that all these things are on a spectrum. A Narcissist basically does things in a textbook sort of way. The first one being:

Idealize & Love Bomb > Devalue > Discard or Disengagement > Hoover

Narcissists can fake empathy, are on a spectrum of malignancy and can be sociopathic or psycopathic in nature. Some Narcs like mine are manipulative but not that abusive. Some people here dealt with those who have no remorse for their actions and putting blame on their own kids. Every Narc is different since they are also people *cough*. Mine actually respected me as a power figure until she lost that respect due to her blaming me for losing her new supply.

I can also tell you that my Narcissist had at least all of these traits. I have like 5 of these personally and that too on a thin spectrum. And trust me I can admit to my faults. We all have Narcissistic traits but we normal folks what we call Neurotypicals would never feel good about hurting others and feel empathic for someone's pain. These people enjoy putting you through chaos. Read about the Narc Smirk and Narc Stare (these are real). So many people experience the same thing.

Oh I'm not questioning your experience with this person. It sounds horrendous and completely malignant. I'm sure these truly awful people exist. I count myself fortunate that I have had very little experience with truly malevolent people like this.

 

[German Hops]

my goodness, this thread has been incredibly eye-opening.

 

[Vagswarm]

See, but I think all people will demonstrate many of these characteristics, some of the time. Many, many people are passive-aggressive, for instance. Many people feel uncomfortable with direct, blunt conversation. I think most people would have a different public persona compared to private. Maybe not completely different, but I know most people behave differently at work vs away from work, just in terms of being professional. Envy is a common human emotion.

Some of that stuff is a lot more extreme. But a lot of that are typical parts of the human experience. Then at some point we are just labeling half the world narcissists, and the term loses a lot of its meaning. It just becomes a synonym for selfish.

There is a gulf between someone who lacks empathy at times and some of the behavior exhibited by people being mentioned in this thread. I think people do need to be careful slapping somewhat clinical labels on normal human behaviors and failings.

You are right, and there is definitely a difference between a jerk, someone who's selfish, a toxic person, and a person with NPD. The things an NPD does is not normal, and it is how they are wired. They are also patterns. They aren't some of the traits, some of the time. And they aren't doing things in a genuine, heartfelt way. Dealing with a jerk is a cakewalk compared to a disordered predator. An NPD will literally suck your life force until you have nothing left.

The problem with not labeling someone unless it's a psychiatrist is narcissists don't ever believe they are the problem, or that they are wrong. They also lie, deceive, manipulate, and charm. There's been countless stories of people with NPD going to therapy (because the spouse is threatening to leave), disagreeing with the idea that they have NPD, claiming the doctor doesn't know what they're talking about / have a hidden agenda / are a bad influence, and not going back -- or looking around until they find one that doesn't think they have a problem, and that it's all the spouse's fault.

This is how they are in their every day interactions as well. They can't accept anyone disagreeing with them about anything, especially when it comes to being wrong. Everyone else is wrong, stupid, etc. It's literally like talking to a brick wall. And they aren't doing it to be annoying -- they literally can't accept being wrong, flawed, etc, because in their minds that makes them inferior, stupid, worthless. So they recreate reality to where they are superior beings and everyone else is a low life. They only surround themselves with people who agree, admire, and obey them. They have what is called a false self which was created at a young age. There is a lot of information out there about this disorder.

You asked for a list of things they do, and I think this is a pretty good one. Every narcissist I knew had most or all of these traits / behaviors. And you don't need to be in love with or dating them to witness it (or be used as supply):

20 Extremely Brutal Signs You're In Love With A Narcissist

Follow these signs will let you know to see if you have fallen if love with a narcissist.

www.yourtango.com