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Anyone here older who never had kids and didn't regret their decision?

DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
All I hear from people all the time who never had kids is when they get older, they really regretted that decision. Also, I hear from people who never wanted kids their entire lives and then ended up having kids that it completely changed their perspective on it.

But I never hear from anyone who never had kids and say they made the right decision. Is anyone here one of those people who are older, who never had kids and not for a second regretted it?

I'm in my late 30's and I've never wanted to have kids. For a few reasons. For one, I deal with a variety of health stuff that would make it very difficult to be a great parent around the clock, as I'm constantly self-managing. Two, I hate to be blunt, but I've never been one of those "I love kids!" people. Every time I watch kids, I always hate the experience. I had to watch little cousins not too long ago for a few hours and the entire time I was thinking "thank the fuck christ I'm not a parent." They were bouncing off the walls, touching everything, knocking everything over. I had to clean up after them, asking for stuff to eat. One of them was just jumping up and down with all his might for like 30 minutes straight and then when I finally got him to stop kept jumping from the couching onto a pillow on the floor over and over. And when I tried to get him to stop he THREW A FIT. It was a nightmare. I've never had one experience watching kids that was one I enjoyed, honestly. There's just no way in hell I would have the patience to deal with that on a daily basis. I'm an incredibly impatient person.

But I know when are part of creating a human, it's an amazing experience. You love them and cherish them and all that, just not sure it's for me. Maybe at some point down the road I'll change. Wanted to know if anyone here is like me, got older, never had kids, and still to this day think you made the right call.
 
My opinion probably doesn't mean much, but I had my 1st (and only) kid 5 years ago. I never really cared to have a kid but my wife very much wanted one. And I can honestly say my life would be significantly worse without her. Everyday she reminds me there's more to live for than stuff like money and having fun. I would never judge someone for not wanting to have kids but I really think most people would regret getting old not having someone there to spend time with. Kids are hard but so worth it imo.
 

manfestival

Member
mmm not sure... I am still far off from even this being out the realm of thought. Even being in my mid 30s, I imagine I have maybe another 10 more golden years to have kids from an energy output perspective.
Of course I can have kids in my old age like a Mick Jagger sure but... that just seems ridiculous to me since I have never been a fan of the idea of being an OLD parent.
Granted I think I kinda fall with the statistics out there. Just don't feel like I am in a position to have kids. Even if I did then my life would be completed devoted to them(not a bad thing). Which is not where I want to be just yet. Though I do want to have kids one day. Just not sure when that is.
 

DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
My opinion probably doesn't mean much, but I had my 1st (and only) kid 5 years ago. I never really cared to have a kid but my wife very much wanted one. And I can honestly say my life would be significantly worse without her. Everyday she reminds me there's more to live for than stuff like money and having fun. I would never judge someone for not wanting to have kids but I really think most people would regret getting old not having someone there to spend time with. Kids are hard but so worth it imo.
Well, what I said is not technically accurate. I like kids when they're 10-12ish and older. One of my ex's had a kid of that age and we got along great. But it's those years leading up to that I think I'd really struggle with. As I think is tough for all parents until they get older.
 
Well, what I said is not technically accurate. I like kids when they're 10-12ish and older. One of my ex's had a kid of that age and we got along great. But it's those years leading up to that I think I'd really struggle with. As I think is tough for all parents until they get older.
I totally understand. Although I do think it's different when it's your own kid. Most young kids annoy the shit out of me.
 

p_xavier

Authorized Fister
I was 5 years with an ex who had a 5 year old daughter when we first started dating. So I pretty much was part of her childhood. Never again. I never got any personal fulfillment with kids. Though I still see here every few years as an adult and she has really fond memories of me.

I don't want kids and don't regret it. Most of my straight friends are the same. We'd rather enjoy our lives than suffer for other to suffer for others. It's selfish yes but there are too many humans already.
 

SJRB

Gold Member


No regrets.
 

p_xavier

Authorized Fister
Well, what I said is not technically accurate. I like kids when they're 10-12ish and older. One of my ex's had a kid of that age and we got along great. But it's those years leading up to that I think I'd really struggle with. As I think is tough for all parents until they get older.
Many kids will not take care of their elderly parents or even speak to them. It's not a great investment in every way.
 

Blade2.0

Member
I'd only want a kid if I had the money to afford one. And since America is killing the middle class. Well don't look like I'll be making another worker bee for the system.
 

TheInfamousKira

Reseterror Resettler
I'm not particularly ancient myself, and I have four (two biological, two stepchildren) and probably another before all is said and done, but I think a lot of it comes with the human condition. We (as a species) will always hit points in our lives where we look around, take stock of the situation, and have wanderlust for the road untraveled. What makes it worse, I think, is the fact that the past isn't a destination you can get in your car and drive to. Should you decide later on you wish you'd have done something that's legitimately incapable of being done, that can stick with you.

People change over time. Maybe not drastically, Core values remain the same throughout with notable exceptions, but the things I was thinking about and desiring in my life even 10 years ago differ greatly with who I am as a person now.
 

AJUMP23

Member
Don't feel pressure to have kids. I have two, but if you don't want kids you would be best not to have them. I always wanted kids. I wish I had more to be honest.
 

Chittagong

Gold Member
We are 42, together since late 90s. No kids by choice, no physiological reason.

We saw many of our friends have kids, and saw what a massive commitment and sacrifice it was. We became godparents to two lovely girls, and got to follow them grow up.

We love travel, restaurants, our own time, liberal sex, living in three countries, staying fit, all of which are easier with no kids. We haven’t regretted and are very happy together and with our lives.
 
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Punished Miku

Gold Member
Women are extremely likely to regret not having kids in a deep and irreparable way. It's more about what your relationship allows honestly. I don't think most guys care that much. If you're in a real relationship, not having kids is probably going to destroy a part of your wife - permanently. Some women are genuinely self-aware enough to decide not to (unicorns). Some that are not having kids are broken people with mental issues (crackheads), and the ones that aren't okay skipping this part of their life will skip you instead eventually (most women).
 
My wife and I tried a couple years ago, and she ended up with 3 miscarriages in a row, with the last one being an emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. We have decided not to try again. I really think I dodged a bullet, as I just hate kids. I'm turning 40 this year btw
I‘m always confused by the comment that someone hates kids. Like a general statement. No, you hate other peoples kids. Raise your kids in a way so you don‘t hate em. Kids are not annoying by nature, most people just raise them like this nowadays. If you burry your kids in gifts and act on their every whim for years you can hardly expect them to become nuanced human beings.
 

//DEVIL//

Member
I never thought I would want kids. All my life I was like why would I want to have that stuff. Can't do exactly 40% of the stuff you used to love and do.

But I got married 10 years ago and now I have 2 kids. A 7 years boy and a1 year girl. Now I honestly can't find my self alive without them. Even if they go with their mom outside to play for a while and I want to chill at home, after couple of hours I would call my wife and ask if she and the kids are fine.

Especially when you have a baby girl. She really changes your life. Your son you want to teach him how to be a man and sometime it's tough love. But the girl ? Dude she melts me with her innocent smile and laugh when she run towards me as soon as I open the door and get inside the apartment.

So no I do enocurage having kids. I am almost 41 years now so it's never really late.
 
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I would never judge someone for not wanting to have kids but I really think most people would regret getting old not having someone there to spend time with. Kids are hard but so worth it imo.
I always tell my wife that we shouldn’t want kids for them to be there for us when we get old. Kids have their own lives to live and may move to the other side of the world. For all we know, we may only see them once every few years.
 

poppabk

Member
I regret not having kids at a younger age. I'll be in my mid 50s when my daughter leaves high school. I don't always have the energy even now to do everything that I would like with my kids.
 

poodaddy

Member
Well, what I said is not technically accurate. I like kids when they're 10-12ish and older. One of my ex's had a kid of that age and we got along great. But it's those years leading up to that I think I'd really struggle with. As I think is tough for all parents until they get older.
Adopt. Lots of kids in that age range that need a decent, smart father figure man. I have a ten year old, and I'm thinking of adopting here soon as I really want another kid but I got a vasectomy a while back, (that I really regret.).

OT: Never wanted kids man. Never did, hell even when I knocked my wife up I still didn't feel that "thing" while she was in the womb ya know? I wondered if I'd be a good father, if I'd love her like she deserves. Then she came out, and when I met her my world completely changed. When I looked into her eyes I knew I'd do anything to make her happy and keep her safe. It's inexplicable man. Had never met her, but when she lifted her shaky little head and looked into my eyes for that split second, I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone or anything, and it was immediate. Still do.

Nothing has meant more to me than being a parent. Just my two cents.
 

MikeM

Member
If you are mature enough to know, then great. Last thing you want is to have a child and not have the maturity to ensure you will take care of them both emotionally and financially.

I personally have a toddler and another on the way. I didn’t care for kids until I had my first and realized that, while there is sacrifice, its an experience that you can’t get anywhere else. And its also one that you get out of it what you put into it.
 

jshackles

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the capability to make the world's first enhanced store. Steam will be that store. Better than it was before.
I can provide another perspective. I had kids young, they were born in '97 and '01. My friends all got good jobs and went on to make a lot of money while not having kids. Meanwhile, I've got a good job but have basically lived paycheck to paycheck my entire life. While there were times I totally envied their lifestyles (travel, expensive houses, etc.) I always felt like they were the ones missing out on life.

Now those same friends are all grown and (the females at least) are too old to have children of their own anymore. The ones that never had kids are all pretty crazy in various ways (of course this is anecdotal, it's entirely possible they never had kids because they were crazy to begin with) - the vast majority of them are now animal hoarders. Even the guys my age, who could still technically become fathers, are a bit fucked up. I see a lot of aimlessness and people asking "I'm almost 50, and I still don't know what the point of it all is" and I'm over here thinking to myself "man, I had that shit figured out when I was 20" - even though these people are more "successful" than I am, in the American sense of the word.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I had waited to have kids later in life, I would have regretted not doing it sooner. It's why it makes me incredibly sad that my kid's generation is coming up in a world where nobody young is having sex or getting married or moving out of their parent's house.

You might think you don't want kids, but I feel like it's part of the human condition or human experience, and it makes me sad that not everyone gets the opportunity to experience it - and that sometimes that loss is self-inflicted.
 
Early 40s, I've always hated kids, never wanted them... and even I'm kind of considering it at this point. I don't have much family left, and that number is only going to go down. Maybe I need to manufacture new family.
 

Lunarorbit

Member
I'm 40 and I vacilate about it sometimes especially since I work in an elementary school right now.

My wife wanted kids but as we got older and it did not happen she's been OK with it;more likely she rationalized and came to term that way.

The way the world is so small nowadays and is constantly beset with bull shit I'm glad we don't have children. Tons of my friends have kids and most of them have disappeared from my daily life cause they are so busy.
 

Amory

Member
As a new dad of a 7 month old, well into my 30s, I can understand both sides. Being a parent is a difficult, tiring job. It's almost always thankless, but very rarely ungratifying. What's struck me so far is that it just never ever ends. There's almost always something you should be doing to contribute to the care of your kid, upkeep of the household, your job, your relationships both within and outside of your direct family, etc. It's not for everyone and even if you were born to be a parent, it gets overwhelming pretty frequently.

But I do think for me personally, I had my time living for myself and it wasn't fulfilling anymore. Having a kid kind of forces you to appreciate smaller things, down to individual moments of time. Whether that's being greeted in the morning with a huge toothless baby smile, seeing a tiny development they've made for the very first time, or just savoring a half hour where you can lay on the couch alone and watch youtube because your wife met a friend for a walk and took the kid with her. Not saying you can't appreciate the small things without kids, just that with kids you pretty much don't have a choice.

And I'm looking forward to my life and my perspective evolving periodically as we add more kids into the mix, and as they grow, all that stuff.
 

Thaedolus

Gold Member
I love my kids more than anything. They're huge pains in the ass but I can't imagine life without them anymore. Someone asked recently what I'd go back and change in my life knowing that the butterfly effect would change everything about where I am now and, honestly, just knowing that would mean give up my kids was enough to finally be able to say I wouldn't want to do that...it basically helped me let go of shit I have regrets over or have perspective on the hard times.

I was pretty on the fence about it before, and I'm sure if I never had kids I'd still be happy...but I don't regret it one bit. Probably helps that we are financially secure, in our 30s and have family nearby as well. You definitely need breaks from them, but most of the times I get the house to myself, I find myself missing them.
 

jason10mm

Member


The dad is this basically.
I can tell you from several personal experiences that a woman can run 2-4 kids through there and STILL have a snug fit :p

But really, no man really WANTS kids, it's just that sex feels so good they are a tolerable side effect :p
 

SF Kosmo

...please disperse...
Early 40s. I've always liked/wanted kids, but didn't have any when I was younger (financially unstable in my 20s and early 30s, dated the wrong women for the rest of my 30s). But in the last 2 years I have been with a mom, and her kid has come to see me as a father figure and that's pretty rad.

I was starting to feel like biological kids weren't gonna happen for me, but fingers crossed, it sounds like we have some good news now. Still not detectable by OTC tests, but the doc says...
 
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Jaybe

Member
Early 40s, no kids, and don’t regret it. Of course, as a guy you have some more time to consider it. At this stage though, it would take something special and unique to flip my thoughts. I want to drop out of the rat race early or at least largely not give a fuck. I wouldn’t want another life’s well-being to be on my head. There’s a lot that could go wrong. The less obligations the better. Also I have a nephew so the ‘who can help you when you’re older’ question doesn’t affect me as much. Not that I’d want to burden him any way. I do feel like my next relationship and the next couple years will be pivotal.
 
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Stuart360

Member
41 and if it doesnt happen over the next 10 years, then it wont happen.
Growing up i always said i didnt want kids until i was at least 35 anyway, and now after breaking up a year ago with a very toxic 5 year relationshp, i'm more than happy now living on my own and have the freedom to do what i want when i want.

Even though i'm only 41, i'm kind of over the whole relaionship thing now so kids probably wont happen for me. And so be it.
I used to think it was a waste of life if you dont have kids (if you can physically have them obviously), but now i realize that life doesnt work like that.
Not only that but i dont even know if i would want to bring a kid into this current loopy world to be honest.
 

JayK47

Member
It is very easy to look at other people with kids and say "I don't want kids". But once you have kids, you can't imagine not having them. I waited for a long time and was even on the fence about it. At some point the wife and I were like "it's now or never". After having one kid, we then wanted another. And I wish we would have started much earlier. I was lied to my entire life, told how hard kids are to raise and how expensive they are, etc. Unless you can't afford to feed yourself, I am pretty sure you can afford kids. And this modern push that kids are bad for the environment, etc. Just a load of shit.

Passing my genes, knowledge and memories onto my kids really gives my life meaning.
 

Bombolone

Gold Member
37 and still just fuckin around. Never been in a 'real' relationship.
Dont have that paternal instinct. Pets annoy me more than I like having them around.
Im selfish. I would love to have kids from multiple races just to see how they would turn out look wise. I like my look.

I wouldn't mind having a kid when im closer to 60. I figure if its anything like me, it would want to see as much of the future as possible. The best gift I could give it.
 

Mattyp

Gold Member
I can tell you from several personal experiences that a woman can run 2-4 kids through there and STILL have a snug fit :p

But really, no man really WANTS kids, it's just that sex feels so good they are a tolerable side effect :p

It’s because they restitch it… OP obviously never been through the hospital experience anyone that’s given birth is usually as tight as 16 again after the doc finishes.

Our first kid is 18 months old now, even though wife Op’d for C section. You’re literally in and out within 10 minutes of your booked time would recommend it to anyone.

I had insane drive before, now my drive is even higher everything I do is now for her and future kids. I have no idea what the point of being here is otherwise.

I wasn’t ever phased with kids one way or another, but you really can’t explain it until you have your own in a healthy relationship, can’t blame people for not wanting more that have cunt misses or toxic relationships however.

Make sure you take every moment in as much as possible.
 

OZ9000

Member
I've got one son. Whilst I am happy I have a son, I'm done. I was never too hot on the idea of having kids. It's an incredible responsibility and frankly I am far too childish and immature at my core to have any more children. Vasectomy here I come.
 

OZ9000

Member
I'm in my late 30's and I've never wanted to have kids. For a few reasons. For one, I deal with a variety of health stuff that would make it very difficult to be a great parent around the clock, as I'm constantly self-managing. Two, I hate to be blunt, but I've never been one of those "I love kids!" people. Every time I watch kids, I always hate the experience. I had to watch little cousins not too long ago for a few hours and the entire time I was thinking "thank the fuck christ I'm not a parent." They were bouncing off the walls, touching everything, knocking everything over. I had to clean up after them, asking for stuff to eat. One of them was just jumping up and down with all his might for like 30 minutes straight and then when I finally got him to stop kept jumping from the couching onto a pillow on the floor over and over. And when I tried to get him to stop he THREW A FIT. It was a nightmare. I've never had one experience watching kids that was one I enjoyed, honestly. There's just no way in hell I would have the patience to deal with that on a daily basis. I'm an incredibly impatient person.
You sound just like me.
 
All I hear from people all the time who never had kids is when they get older, they really regretted that decision. Also, I hear from people who never wanted kids their entire lives and then ended up having kids that it completely changed their perspective on it.

But I never hear from anyone who never had kids and say they made the right decision. Is anyone here one of those people who are older, who never had kids and not for a second regretted it?

I'm in my late 30's and I've never wanted to have kids. For a few reasons. For one, I deal with a variety of health stuff that would make it very difficult to be a great parent around the clock, as I'm constantly self-managing. Two, I hate to be blunt, but I've never been one of those "I love kids!" people. Every time I watch kids, I always hate the experience. I had to watch little cousins not too long ago for a few hours and the entire time I was thinking "thank the fuck christ I'm not a parent." They were bouncing off the walls, touching everything, knocking everything over. I had to clean up after them, asking for stuff to eat. One of them was just jumping up and down with all his might for like 30 minutes straight and then when I finally got him to stop kept jumping from the couching onto a pillow on the floor over and over. And when I tried to get him to stop he THREW A FIT. It was a nightmare. I've never had one experience watching kids that was one I enjoyed, honestly. There's just no way in hell I would have the patience to deal with that on a daily basis. I'm an incredibly impatient person.

But I know when are part of creating a human, it's an amazing experience. You love them and cherish them and all that, just not sure it's for me. Maybe at some point down the road I'll change. Wanted to know if anyone here is like me, got older, never had kids, and still to this day think you made the right call.
I call kids Crotch Fruit
 

Trogdor1123

Gold Member
Probably depends how you grew up too. I’d suspect that changes perspective on it big time. One thing I’ve always wondered is how many single people end up on their deathbed alone. Not a directly related issue but I still wonder
 

nemiroff

Gold Member
I used to dislike kids (still sometimes do) and didn't want one, they always kind of stressed me out. So, that's one of the reason I got my first kid when I was 40+.. But it was a blessing. I mean, thinking back I guess I was more like a spoiled adult, and getting a kid challenged my egoism, thus I feel like I'm a better person. And I even have a second kid now, only 14 months old, and I'm not gonna lie he's a lot more fun than any videogame I've played - At least when he's not sick and all the worries starts to materialize..

Anyway, I think there's good and bad sides with both having kids and not having any. I know I would be pretty fine with never having a kid even though I'd probably always wonder how it would've been. Good thing is that it's now 2022 so the stigma of not having kids has mostly gone away.
 

Trogdor1123

Gold Member
All I hear from people all the time who never had kids is when they get older, they really regretted that decision. Also, I hear from people who never wanted kids their entire lives and then ended up having kids that it completely changed their perspective on it.

But I never hear from anyone who never had kids and say they made the right decision. Is anyone here one of those people who are older, who never had kids and not for a second regretted it?

I'm in my late 30's and I've never wanted to have kids. For a few reasons. For one, I deal with a variety of health stuff that would make it very difficult to be a great parent around the clock, as I'm constantly self-managing. Two, I hate to be blunt, but I've never been one of those "I love kids!" people. Every time I watch kids, I always hate the experience. I had to watch little cousins not too long ago for a few hours and the entire time I was thinking "thank the fuck christ I'm not a parent." They were bouncing off the walls, touching everything, knocking everything over. I had to clean up after them, asking for stuff to eat. One of them was just jumping up and down with all his might for like 30 minutes straight and then when I finally got him to stop kept jumping from the couching onto a pillow on the floor over and over. And when I tried to get him to stop he THREW A FIT. It was a nightmare. I've never had one experience watching kids that was one I enjoyed, honestly. There's just no way in hell I would have the patience to deal with that on a daily basis. I'm an incredibly impatient person.

But I know when are part of creating a human, it's an amazing experience. You love them and cherish them and all that, just not sure it's for me. Maybe at some point down the road I'll change. Wanted to know if anyone here is like me, got older, never had kids, and still to this day think you made the right call.
Sounds like those kids have never had any discipline. My sister in law has kids like that and they are entirely different at my house. My wife really gets them in line, of course then I pull out the nerf guns and shot them to get them all worked up again haha. I get in trouble those days but why not haha
 
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