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Anyone here older who never had kids and didn't regret their decision?

haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
37 and still just fuckin around. Never been in a 'real' relationship.
Dont have that paternal instinct. Pets annoy me more than I like having them around.
Im selfish. I would love to have kids from multiple races just to see how they would turn out look wise. I like my look.

I wouldn't mind having a kid when im closer to 60. I figure if its anything like me, it would want to see as much of the future as possible. The best gift I could give it.
Have fun being 80 with a 20 year old who doesn’t wanna leave the nest. Fuuuuuck that.
 

Mobilemofo

Member
Never wanted kids. And I'm happy without them. Proper holidays, less expense, and to be honest, I didn't want to one of those parents still paying for their kids when im in my 50s, like alot of parents these days.
 

Ionian

Gold Member
Many kids will not take care of their elderly parents or even speak to them. It's not a great investment in every way.
This is true.

I'm the eldest of 8.

Parents separated, divided the family. I was tasked to bring them together. Broke me mentally.

No thanks, just a FU you failed.

Some real scary shit happened, I mean horrible shit that I can't even mention. Let's just say violence on both parts. Physical and monetary.
 
I had insane drive before, now my drive is even higher everything I do is now for her and future kids. I have no idea what the point of being here is otherwise.
So what was your purpose before you had kids and what will it be after they leave the nest?
 
I didnt want it but my wife and her family Insisted. I said if is not a girl i would trow him to the near garbage can lol.

Now 2 years later im a father of a boy. I feel like im also born again. Is difficult but it worth every second… idk what else i would be doing if is not playing taking care of him that gave me so much accomplish feeling and not wasting my life/time.
 
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I'm almost 45 now, still single and don't plan on ever having kids even if I end up getting into a relationship. with the world today, I simply don't see any justification of having kids for me. for those who have kids and is happy with it, you have my respect. I've seen plenty of my friends with kids and I had even watch over them or taken care of them, so I know how hard it is. it's just not for me.
 

kikkis

Member
I'm a 30 plus year old loser whose never been married or been in anything resembling a relationship. I'm pretty sure I'm not having kids.
Same. Reading this thread makes me want to have kids in some level but it just isn't happening.
 

MastaKiiLA

Member
My wife and I tried a couple years ago, and she ended up with 3 miscarriages in a row, with the last one being an emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. We have decided not to try again. I really think I dodged a bullet, as I just hate kids. I'm turning 40 this year btw
Pretty much this for, save for the emergency surgery. We were trying mostly because she wanted another one. She already has a son from a past relationship, and he's now turning into a proper asshole. So after her last miscarriage, we quietly decided to stop. Only a couple weeks ago did we even discuss it, and we both agreed it's for the best.

Personally, I'm not great with kids. I also like my life as is. I smoke and drink whenever, I stay up late and wake up late, and money earned is for me and the missus. Do I really need a third wheel? 44 years strong without it. I think I'll be fine. No ragrets. Not even a single letter.
 

Dirk Benedict

Gold Member
I want to have a kid and to give it my shit when I depart to the celestial, but.. This world is so fucked up and it's filled with fucking ugly, evil mother fucking people.
There is bad energy everywhere and while I have found my place on this Earthly plane, I am not certain I can prepare my Child in time, especially without homeschooling. Fuck people trying to get into your Kid's head. Just teach them fucking math and the sciences, how to write and read and about history... Ah, man.. that turned into a rant and my favorite word is there likes weeds, popping up after a storm. My apologies.
 

Mattyp

Gold Member
So what was your purpose before you had kids and what will it be after they leave the nest?

My purpose before I had kids was to succeed in life as much as possible, grew up in a household on benefits now have half a dozen homes and employ 20 people. I remember exactly how much my mum struggled and my purpose was to drag her out from that after my dad left by any means.

Once they leave I’ll help them as much as possible in life, until I finally kick the bucket and hopefully have something to hand over with some knowledge that will last generations.

Before kids the drive wasn’t as high even as high as it was, because once I got to a certain point do I need more? Does mum? No there’s plenty to see us out. Now with kids all you want is to see them succeed and hopefully have their own generation you can watch grow in retirement and build something great.
 

bitbydeath

Gold Member


The dad is this basically.

 

Bombolone

Gold Member
Have fun being 80 with a 20 year old who doesn’t wanna leave the nest. Fuuuuuck that.
Lol. I guess that’s my point. I don’t think I would love the kid as a parent loves their child (still love it as I love the sinner & saint) but just give it a chance to experience life and all the neat things that come with it (lasers, space travel, playstation 8... Xbox did not survive the Gamepass saga) *kicks hornets nest

That motherfucker might try to end me early though.
 

Flutta

My tears. Exclusive to gamepass. Forever.
Having kids and family is part of our existens. Denying that to yourself for selfish reason is stupid and you will regret that sooner or later. People who say otherwise are liars and you should not listen to liars to begin with.

If you cant find a good partner, or having health issues or other reasons then you have an excuse.

Getting your first kid is the best feeling in this world, nothing comes close.
 

Nico_D

Member
I believe if anyone even considers having regrets later about not having kids, will probably regret that decision later. Or any other decision

Of course it is important to make informed life choices but certain choices come with such a unwavering certainty that it is clearly the right decision.

But if there's no such a certainty, I guess the question is can you live and be happy regardless of the possible regret?

Also, I think who believes they would be terrible parents probably wouldn't be. The worst parents are the most confident and those who don't even care to think about it.
 

winjer

Member
I never had kids and never regretted it.
In fact, I would say that for me, having kids would have been one of the worst decisions in my life.
Now I know that for some people having kids is the greatest thing ever. But for other people it's the worst.
It's a life changing decision, that has to be carefully made. And it will impact your life for many years.
 

FunkMiller

Member
In my forties, never had kids. Don't regret for a single fucking second. I can do or go where I want, I have a lot of disposable income to do it, I sleep eight healthy hours a night, I don't stress about responsibility, I'm not weighing the overpopulated world down with any more humans, and my sex life is still amazing.

Man Body GIF
 
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MastaKiiLA

Member
Having kids and family is part of our existens. Denying that to yourself for selfish reason is stupid and you will regret that sooner or later. People who say otherwise are liars and you should not listen to liars to begin with.

If you cant find a good partner, or having health issues or other reasons then you have an excuse.

Getting your first kid is the best feeling in this world, nothing comes close.
Dude, I'm 44. Why would I suddenly change and want to commit time to taking care of someone? I think you assume everyone else feels like you, but we don't. I'm married, but could just as easily be by myself. I prefer my alone time, and just happened to find someone who enjoys relaxing as much as I do. But other than wanting to make her happy with a child, I have never once woken up and thought to myself, "You know what I'm missing right now? Another person to spend most of my money and time on, but who I won't give me sex." That's just not particularly interesting to me.

I don't fault anyone who it is for. My parents had 3 of us, so they clearly were 'bout dat life, but I'm a very selfish person. And I only have one life to live. There are a lot of things I want to do still that are difficult with a child. Hell, the best decision I've made in my life was quitting my job stateside and moving to Thailand. I wouldn't have been able to do this if I had a kid. With my disposition, there's no way a kid would have brought me anywhere near the joy I've had here in Asia. So, I think it's a very subjective thing, and no one should be made to feel bad about the decision they made. What matters is that you're happy with your choices.
 

AV

We ain't outta here in ten minutes, we won't need no rocket to fly through space
I want kids, but if it turns out my swimmers don't work, I don't want a donor or adoption and I'll be happy to instead live a life of spending my money on myself.
 
Late 30s here. I never had kids and don't want them (though i am open to the possibility), but I am very fortunate to be surrounded by children from my family. I have many nieces and cousins that I spend a considerable of time with, and they teach you things about life that aren't obvious without them.

It's not easy, though! They require all of your time.
 
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NinjaBoiX

Member
I love kids, they’re loads of fun, but I don’t want my own at all. An ex had two young kids, it was a bit of a nightmare to be honest. You need to consider them with EVERY SINGLE DECISION, which is absolutely right but still…

I’m too selfish for kids, I like my own free time (and money) too much. I know I’m missing out on a lot, but let’s be honest, so are parents.

I totally get it, but it’s not for me.
 

DarthPutin

Member
I think regrets when you're too old to do something are not informative. It's like when I am 70, I might regret not being a famous retired ballerina - would be pretty sweet, no? Except I hate dancing and never had any desire to do it.

Even as child-free person, I wouldn't mind having two successful grown-up children who moved to Australia or New Zealand, call me once every two weeks and sometimes send me money or gifts to assuage guilt that they don't call more often or have any desire to do so. :messenger_beaming: Except I hate everything related to actual process of raising children.

Everyone would like to rip benefits of doing something at some point and imagine best case scenario (few people imagine having severely disabled children, for example), but what you should do is things you want to do NOW (within reason, ofc).

"You will love your children" isn't very potent for me either. We always had multiple dogs and cats and I loved them very much, even put myself in danger for them (dragged away snarling rottweiler by the neck, etc) which as a coward means a lot. I'd do a lot to bring these particular dogs/cats back, but do I want to have more dogs? No, I don't really like taking care of them nor do I feel the need for pet in general. So I would likely love my kids (though it doesn't always work out this way), but do I want child-rearing as a job? Not in the least. Having my leg cut off seems more appealing as it would be less limiting. So I'd love them, but my life would be significantly worse with them.

Just turned 40.
 
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I'm 42 and have been with my wife for about 10 years. She can't have kids which was devastating to both of us when we found out. She's come to terms with it more than I have but I'm in a far better place than I was. I'll always be sad that I didn't get to be a father but I've made my peace with it.

We have done fostering which was amazing and we are planning to do it again. The only downside is that the system is incredibly frustrating to work with and the social workers are all woke lunatics which caused a few problems. It's great working with the kids though and really rewarding.
 

kurisu_1974

is on perm warning for being a low level troll
No kids, married, almost 50 (damn...) and no regrets, if I see what my friends who have kids have to go through, no thanks. Worried enough about the cat sometimes.

Also I think there's more than enough humans in the world, would like to see population growth go down rather than up.
 
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Von Hugh

Member
Living my life very loosely in my twenties and fucking around, and now being a dad to a 1.5 year old son at just over 30, I can see the benefits and burdens of both sides. I can also see that enjoying either lifestyle is highly contextual.

Having a family with the correct person and living in a good place location and housing wise could be amazing. If your wife is someone with a BPD, and you are living in a tight ass apartment that was meant for only one or two people, it could also be a hell on earth.

Timing also is a factor obviously. If you are middle aged and feel that you have fornicated enough, you have a steady position economy wise and have truly settled down, having a kid at that point could be fruitful to yourself, and safe for the kid as well. Of course, having kids at a younger age makes your elderly days a bit more free.

Being mature (emotionally, financially), and being mature enough to know that your partner is truly "the one" would be the best case scenario for the whole family, I think.
 

nkarafo

Member
Im 40 and single. So i need to find a partner first, which is too hard for me. I also don't like kids but im sure ill regret it in 20 years.

I just hope ill have enough money when im old so i can put myself in a retirement home, otherwise i dont know how ill end up being alone.
 

poppabk

Member
I wish sometimes I had my kids when I was younger. Fucking exhausted.
Yeah I said that above. The baby stage was easy enough but now that they are approaching middle school there is so much fun stuff for them to do, and they are so passionate about cool things, and sometimes I just can't be bothered.
 

WoJ

Member
I never wanted kids. My wife got pregnant in 2016 and I was angry about it. I was miserable the whole pregnancy because I was so angry that my life would not be what I wanted it to be.

But I can't imagine not having my daughter. She is amazing and being a dad has made me a better adult. Seeing the innocence and naivety of a child that is yours and helping to shape that person is something special. I truly appreciate every moment I spend with my daughter. Her and I are buddies. Yes, I'm her dad first, but the moments we share doing dad/daughter stuff are amazing. I am looking forward to helping her to continue to grow and learn as a person. And the unconditional love she gives back to my wife and I truly is special and something I never could have imagined before parenthood,

I'm 40 now and my wife turns 39 this summer so we won't be having any other children but we both agree if we were younger we would primarily try to have one more kid.

If I can turn around and enjoy parenthood anyone can. That isn't to say everyone should try to be parents. I get not wanting to have kids. It isn't fair to the parent or child if you're not willing to work to be a good parent. I'm just saying that as someone who never wanted kids and actively resented the idea of becoming a parent while my wife was pregnant, parenting has some pretty great rewards if you are willing to be an engaged and active parent.
 

Ryu1999

Member
I always knew I wanted kids, but didn't have them until I was almost 40. Yeah they can be obnoxious (but they're so dang cute), but I don't find that the burden is that onerous. Granted, I have twins and they entertain each other, but I think Western parents are too obsessed with their kids and that's why it's soo stressful.

I read Hunt, Gather, Parent and apparently societies used to raise kids to live alongside the adults, but now we're so focused on the kids we're actually hurting their autonomy; definitely a book I highly recommend for any potential parents who are stressing out.
 

Captiosus

Member
Not sure my situation qualifies but I'm 45 and don't have biological children of my own. My wife and I got together when I was 20, she's 6 years older than I and when we got together she had a 3 year old from a previous marriage. He's grown up here and I've been the only stable father figure he's had. That's been enough for me. Also, my wife had complications with her only child and she was told that having another would put both her life and any future child's life at extreme risk.

I never really wanted kids of my own especially after seeing how fucked up my extended family was. I was born to older parents -- to compare, I'm still two years younger than my father was when I was born. My dad had 5 kids from a previous marriage before he had me, and the age difference between my youngest half-brother and I is greater than the age difference between my step-son and I. All my half-siblings were (are) royal fuckups who treated their parents like trash. None of them were there for our dad (or their mom) when they got older, so that disabused me of the notion that having kids was going to mean anything in old age.

Because my half-siblings were cockups, my dad put a lot of pressure on me, which didn't end well for anyone. That also rather put me off of having kids. I've gone to sporting events for my friends' kids and seeing the asshole parents out there screaming at their kids, trying to live vicariously through them, just reminds me of all the gaslighting my dad did to me over the years because he was disappointed in his other kids.

No regrets in deciding not to have my own kids. Besides, I know almost our entire family's genetic medical history. No way I'd want to saddle a poor kid with those odds.
 
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Zelphyr

Gold Member
I always was open to the idea when I was younger but it never panned out. My last gf wanted kids but her plan was so cold & calculating that I just got the hell outra there. I also thought we were too young & disorganized to start a family.

Knowing today that I have alcoholic & cancer genes makes it a wise decision 😁

The family line ends with me & that's fine.

Then you have my colleague at work who's on his 5th kid like he's assembling a brass section of a band.

To each his own but jeez there's enough of us on this Earth already.
 
Early/mid 30s, don't want a kid (maybe sometime down the road), wife does and expects to eventually, but like OP every time I see other kids and what a handful they are I'm glad I don't have one.

People here (and elsewhere) always say they "didn't want kids but now can't imagine life without them". Well let me ask you could you imagine having kids before having them? No right? Not to be condescending but is it possible you don't have much of an imagination? The point is people can get use to anything, and once they're settled into their current situation they get complacent, so "not imagining life without them" don't mean so much.

I've always thought that people who decide to have kids fall into a few categories:
1.) don't really have big goals in life to begin with, or the drive from youth evaporated and you're stuck in your boring 9-5
2.) keeping up with the joneses; don't wanna fall behind others, you fell into most things in life because that's how you perceive life should go seeing it around you
3.) Genuinely always wanted kids, love kids, so were always prepared to do it

I think the third category is rare, and a lot of people are not suited to be parents (some discover they are, great!). That's why so many people end up in divorces even with kids and broken families and single parent homes. I know that right now I'm not prepared to be a dad, that might change, but even just dealing with my wife and my own life needs, the hectic job, and just having some time to ourselves is precarious a balance enough.
 
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Kenneth Haight

Gold Member
I’m a bit surprised at the anti kid comments in here. I have two young daughters and they are the love of my life. I understand it’s not for everyone but it’s like nothing else.

The love and care you feel for your children is so special. I totally understand though that it’s not for everybody and that’s cool. I would be financially richer and probably less stressed but I my kids make me very happy.

They also make you vulnerable however. I know I will worry about them as they grow and there are a lot of creeps about for me to protect them from. It is a very strange thing becoming a parent.
 

poppabk

Member
Early/mid 30s, don't want a kid (maybe sometime down the road), wife does and expects to eventually, but like OP every time I see other kids and what a handful they are I'm glad I don't have one.

People here (and elsewhere) always say they "didn't want kids but now can't imagine life without them". Well let me ask you could you imagine having kids before having them? No right? Not to be condescending but is it possible you don't have much of an imagination? The point is people can get use to anything, and once they're settled into their current situation they get complacent, so "not imagining life without them" don't mean so much.

I've always thought that people who decide to have kids fall into a few categories:
1.) don't really have big goals in life to begin with, or the drive from youth evaporated and you're stuck in your boring 9-5
2.) keeping up with the joneses; don't wanna fall behind others, you fell into most things in life because that's how you perceive life should go seeing it around you
3.) Genuinely always wanted kids, love kids, so were always prepared to do it

I think the third category is rare, and a lot of people are not suited to be parents (some discover they are, great!). That's why so many people end up in divorces even with kids and broken families and single parent homes. I know that right now I'm not prepared to be a dad, that might change, but even just dealing with my wife and my own life needs, the hectic job, and just having some time to ourselves is precarious a balance enough.
I essentially lived the reality I imagined my life would be without kids as I was working away from home 5 days a week for a couple of years. Basically, nice apartment, lots of free time, lots of video games, lots of trying to make friends, lots of quiet
I like the hustle and bustle of a family, the craziness, the yelling, the fun and games, the spilt drinks, the laughter, the juvenile behavior, fart jokes, the molding of a kid, the little successes, the big moments.
 

voidenberg

Member
On the one hand, I enjoy having all my money for myself. I enjoy not having the kind of responsibilities and worries a parent has. But on the other hand, I feel bad knowing I'm a dead end.
 

clarky

Member
Just about to hit 50, me and the wife decided not to have kids when we were in our 30's for no particular reason other than neither of us fancied it.

Zero regrets, mortgage paid off, 3 renters, wife retired a while ago, holidays whenever we feel like it. Not saying we wouldn't have these things if we had kids but i like the freedom and lack of responsibility. Also like 60 hours of game time a week if i feel like it lol.

Also can't see me living past 65 tops with my lifestyle. :messenger_horns:
 
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Fbh

Member
I'm only 31 but still have zero desire for kids.

I find them extremely annoying and just can't picture myself spending so much time, energy and money on them. I know people always say it's different when they are your kids and I'm sure that's the case....but still.
Seeing my sister have kids has made me even less open to the idea. They haven't slept well in 7+ years, have had to give up a lot of things they used to do, need to attend to their every want and need etc. It also kinda made me realize there's a limit to how much you can "steer" them, because while both have been raised the same, on of them is pretty chill while the other one is extremely needy, whiny and makes a drama over something (including screaming and crying) every single time I visit them.
 
But I know when are part of creating a human, it's an amazing experience. You love them and cherish them and all that, just not sure it's for me.
Except you don't know that, and that's not true. There are millions of people who hate their kids and have terrible family dynamics. Also, our world is filled with terrible parents who love being parents.

Good parents find meaning/happiness in the responsibility of being a parent. If you aren't looking forward to take on that responsibility, you shouldn't become a parent. Falling for the "Oh, once you have the kid it'll change for you" is fucking stupid ideology. You would never make any other decision in your life with this type of thinking, so why the fuck would you do that when it involves the life of another?

The people you're describing who regret not having children, regret it for selfish reasons. "I regret not having children now because of how I feel now." You already know in your heart if you should be a parent. People lie to themselves and sometimes it works out. Stop thinking about how you might feel someday, and ask yourself if you're willing to gamble the life of a child based on how you feel now.
 

n0razi

Member
I would only want kids if I was able to support and be there for them 100%, ie time, financially, emotionally, etc... which I honestly can't. I don't want to be one of those parents that goes "well, we will deal with it when it happens; it's in God's hands, etc". To me, that's similar to people who got a pet dog during the pandemic because they were lonely and then realized they could't make that commitment and sent the dog back after the lock downs. Except with children, those people just kind of deal with it and become shitty parents who are never there for their kids. I know people who are absolutely terrible parents IRL and they will always post on social media how much they "love kids" and constant selfies of the kids and then bail on the weekends or dump off their kids with a nanny or grandparents half the week to go do "fun stuff" and if you bring that up, they will say something to the effect of "You will never understand since you don't have kids!" Its almost like a sunk cost fallacy to me where they have to tell themselves they love it because there's no take backs. Not saying all parents are like that; there are a lot of genuinely caring parents out there but so many shitty ones like to pretend they are part of that group.
 
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cobaltorange

Neo Member
I can tell you from several personal experiences that a woman can run 2-4 kids through there and STILL have a snug fit :p

But really, no man really WANTS kids, it's just that sex feels so good they are a tolerable side effect :p
If truly no man wanted kids, there are things they could do to keep it from happening....
 

Dr.D00p

Member
Apart from the fact I just don't have the inclination nor the patience for kids, I wouldn't wish my genes passed onto anyone...It would be a supreme act of cruelty.

Best to Let Darwin's theory of natural selection, take its course.
 
I'm 36 and hate kids. I've got a few pets, which I absolutely love, but they're quite self sufficient. My cats don't mind if I don't come home for a night 🤷🏻‍♂️
 
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