I'm glad you found meaning through your child. For me, I find my meaning in other ways. Everybody has a different view on how they derive meaning from existence, as it should be.Having kids is the best thing in the entire world I respect everybody’s decision to have a live your life but just saying having children has been the highlight of my entire life and to be a dad gives life purpose and meaning
I dunno dude. Maybe call it quits if you don't start by 42. And your wife would have to be younger than you hopefully. That's basically what I'm doing.If you're a healthy guy, most have the luxury of having kids in late 40s, 50s or even 60s. We have time.
Yeah, the woman would need to be under the age of 38 or so. That's why I date 20-30 somethings. Plus it helps me feel younger to be around their energy. There's logic behind an older guy and younger girl.I dunno dude. Maybe call it quits if you don't start by 42. And your wife would have to be younger than you hopefully. That's basically what I'm doing.
If you are 70 with a 10 year old, that's gonna be weird. But I guess your 18 year old is going to love it when you have dementia so they can stay out late and do whatever they want lol.
I don’t need convincing my self but I am curious, why you would say ‘do not have kids’? Is it vastly more work? Did it change your relationship negatively? Thanks.I had my first and only kid last year. I’m 37.
As father of a beautiful baby girl, and believe me when I say she’s the light of my life, I’m telling you: DO NOT HAVE KIDS.
With that said, that little cupcake of joy has made me a better man, now I’m improving myself everyday to be better for her, a better father, a better all around person, physically and mentally.
Again, hear me out: DO NOT HAVE KIDS.
I know you didn't ask me, but I will answer in my perspective. It didn't change my relationship with my wife negatively. But it indeed is A LOT MORE work and responsability. My life before having a kid, when I look back at it, felt like child's play - nowadays I feel the weight of responsability every single day.I don’t need convincing my self but I am curious, why you would say ‘do not have kids’? Is it vastly more work? Did it change your relationship negatively? Thanks.
People say this but what happens when the kid is now 17 or 18 and leaves the house, state or country? Does your life lose meaning then?Having kids is the best thing in the entire world I respect everybody’s decision to have a live your life but just saying having children has been the highlight of my entire life and to be a dad gives life purpose and meaning
This, kids are a quality change in your life. You are set by the time you are 30 - you really want to live the same thing over and over for the next 50 years?I don't want to tell anyone what to do...
But I hear a lot of "I'm too selfish for kids"
Much like giving a gift or helping others, raising a child feels amazing. Selfishly.
I feel bad for my friends who are married and choosing to not have kids. You're just reliving the same part of your life over and over.
Yes its hard for a few years... but its completely worth it.
Also this - kids teach organisation and also how to filter useless shit in your life. Helped me with my work tremendously since after our first it went like this:Now I know exactly what to do and why. There's simply no time for disphorial shit. So for me it was the right choice.
Of course Parents have an in-group bias where they prefer other Parents to Childfree Adults. Anybody who's ever been a Childfree Adult could've told you that.
Interpersonal warmth judgementsTo examine within- and between-group judgements of interpersonal warmth among parents and childfree adults, we asked both parent and childfree respondents how warmly they felt toward each other. Figure 3 summarizes the mean interpersonal warmth judgements of parents (dashed red line) and childfree adults (solid blue line), with the associated 95% confidence intervals. Supplementary Information S3 reports interpersonal warmth judgements by gender subgroups, which revealed few differences.
First, we find that parents feel significantly warmer toward parents (M=82.09M=82.09, SE=0.81SE=0.81) than toward childfree adults (M=68.17M=68.17, SE=1.07SE=1.07; t(896)=−12.63t(896)=−12.63, p<0.001p<0.001) In contrast, childfree adults exhibit no significant difference in warmth felt toward parents (M=66.85M=66.85, SE=2.44SE=2.44) and childfree adults (M=71.58M=71.58, SE=1.98SE=1.98; t(231)=1.9t(231)=1.9, p=0.058p=0.058). That is, we observe ingroup favoritism among parents, but not among childfree adults.
Second, we find that parents feel significantly warmer toward parents than do childfree adults (t(1129)=−5.94t(1129)=−5.94, p<0.001p<0.001). However, parents and childfree adults feel similar levels of warmth toward childfree adults (t(1129)=1.52t(1129)=1.52, p=0.13p=0.13). That is, we observe that people are polarized in their feelings toward parents, but not in their feelings toward childfree adults.
Finally, we find that parents feel more ingroup warmth than childfree adults (t(1129)=−4.91t(1129)=−4.91, p<0.001p<0.001). In contrast, parents and childfree adults feel similar levels of outgroup warmth (t(1129)=−0.49t(1129)=−0.49, p=0.621p=0.621). That is, we observe that group differences in interpersonal warmth are driven by parents’ ingroup favoritism.
Interpersonal warmth felt by childfree adults and parents toward each other.
Given the chance to go back in time. I don't know that I'd have children that is not to say I don'tove them, of course I do. People say "Wouldn't you miss your children?" Well, no because I would have never had them I wouldn't know what it's like.I really wonder what % of parents this is, but no way you'd ever get an accurate count. Too easy to lie and say you don't regret it, and the pressure is there to do so.