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Can men and women be true platonic friends?

Can men and women be non-sexual friends?


  • Total voters
    236

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
Here's my hot take on the subject: "It depends!"
By and large, a man's primary driver to deal with women usually has some degree of sexual undertones.
However, I'm a guy who can put that aside in some rare circumstances.

Of course, women have a quite different take on platonic relationships related to men.
I think women have an easier time being just friends with men. Men, however, may have a harder time...especially if they find the woman to be very attractive.

The funny thing is, some guys like to play the long game, with the hope that one day, he can get the ass!
I also think softer men tend to do this more, what I call, "chore-play" with female friends they're attracted to on the down low, whereas more stubborn men tend to severely limit any attention/time given to any so-called "platonic" female friends.

So Gaf, what are your thoughts on this age old question?

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Sub_Level

wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Yeah of course! I have a couple different hot girls I've unsuccessfully asked out but am just friends with now. The older I get the more I realize friends in general are hard to come by, so why burn that bridge.

It only doesn't work if you're emotionally invested. Being a girl's friend while secretly still romantically liking her is unhealthy and will just be mental torture for you.
 

MrMephistoX

Member
Yes, but if she's hot, you'd still fuck her given the opportunity.
Which is essentially why friends with exes doesn’t work unless you have an important reason like a child together to be nice to each other…you already fucked so the genie has been in and out of the bottle.

Honestly if you’re happily married or they are also happily married it’s way easier to make office girl friends especially if you have kids because you as a dude should generally not want to ask them out and they feel more secure that you are not going to ask them out. This is just my experience anyway.
 
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12Goblins

Lil’ Gobbie
yeah but you gotta be a mature and well adjusted person, otherwise girls don't want to be friends with you in the first place! sorry y'all

thinking you can't be friends with the opposite sex is some Burka or Mike Pence type shit
 
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manfestival

Member
My answer is that it is complicated. Many of the people I follow and have listened to have effectively stated no and I understand their points. However, I do have one platonic friend and that is mainly because she is too fat for my tastes. I have another friend that is platonic but that is more of a condition kind of thing if I am being honest with myself.
Is it possible? Sure. Just really depends on your connection as people cause some guys can be real weird about this stuff. Like most things, it is far more nuanced than yes/no.
 

SafeOrAlone

Banned
I have a sort-of-friend that is a girl.

I mean, she obviously wants to be friends but I'm not interested in that, which I think is clear enough, because we've gone on dates,. I tend to ignore her for weeks or months on end, because she's overseas now.

Still, she'll reply to my instagram stories with comments, and ask me questions about who I'm with on trips (is it a date??), etc. It's weird because it's like she is fishing for attention, except I'm a terrible candidate for that, because I never initiate, I occasionally "ghost" messages, and take forever to respond. I'd think I come across as sort of a dick and not a great pen-pal. I feel like she treats me like a simp-friend, even though I know better than to act like one.

On the other hand, I have a friend, who is a girl, who is pretty hot. I'm not all that interested though and I'm not sure I even would. I've stared though.
 
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Zeroing

Banned
I have a sort-of-friend that is a girl.

I mean, she obviously wants to be friends but I'm not interested in that, which I think is clear enough, because we've gone on dates,. I tend to ignore her for weeks or months on end, because she's overseas now.

Still, she'll reply to my instagram stories with comments, and ask me questions about who I'm with on trips (is it a date??), etc. It's weird because it's like she is fishing for attention, except I'm a terrible candidate for that, because I never initiate, I occasionally "ghost" messages, and take forever to respond. I'd think I come across as sort of a dick and not a great pen-pal. I feel like she treats me like a simp-friend, even though I know better than to act like one.

On the other hand, I have a friend, who is a girl, who is pretty hot. I'm not all that interested though and I'm not sure I even would. I've stared though.
I know you didn’t asked for advice so you have all the reasons to ignore it, I think you should make it clear to her that you do not want a friendship. Nobody would like to be ghosted for months. Speculation, maybe it’s not attention, maybe she just cares… as a friend maybe not but until you make it clear you’ll not know! .
 

BigBooper

Member
My answer is that it is complicated. Many of the people I follow and have listened to have effectively stated no and I understand their points. However, I do have one platonic friend and that is mainly because she is too fat for my tastes. I have another friend that is platonic but that is more of a condition kind of thing if I am being honest with myself.
Is it possible? Sure. Just really depends on your connection as people cause some guys can be real weird about this stuff. Like most things, it is far more nuanced than yes/no.
Guarantee your fat friend would hump your dink.
 

chromhound

Member
I have a sort-of-friend that is a girl.

I mean, she obviously wants to be friends but I'm not interested in that, which I think is clear enough, because we've gone on dates,. I tend to ignore her for weeks or months on end, because she's overseas now.

Still, she'll reply to my instagram stories with comments, and ask me questions about who I'm with on trips (is it a date??), etc. It's weird because it's like she is fishing for attention, except I'm a terrible candidate for that, because I never initiate, I occasionally "ghost" messages, and take forever to respond. I'd think I come across as sort of a dick and not a great pen-pal. I feel like she treats me like a simp-friend, even though I know better than to act like one.

On the other hand, I have a friend, who is a girl, who is pretty hot. I'm not all that interested though and I'm not sure I even would. I've stared though.
Did you ask her if you could participate in some Cheeks Clappage ?
 

Zeroing

Banned
I know this thread is not made for me, but I had friends telling me if only you weren’t gay! I took it as a joke!
Also it’s almost impossible to maintain a platonic friendship with another gay man… so it’s more than clear at least for me - that we men think more sexually and we are more visually aroused! Women can be also but mostly on different aspects.

Of course you’ll have to put some boundaries!
My conclusion is, yes but it can be complicated!
 

Roxkis_ii

Member
I think it's possible, but just harder on guys.
Women are able to have deep emotional ties with people. While generally, guys only have deep emotional ties to people who they are close to.


So when woman has a deep emotional relationship with a guy, it can feel like the beginning of something deeper for him, while for the ladies in that situation, it's just a Tuesday.

I guess its kinda like how sex isn't as deep for most guys, but for ladies it can be a lot more meaningful.

At least that what I read on reddit.
 

DanteFox

Member
In most cases no. The way you know this is that immediately when either the man or woman gets a significant other, those one on one hangouts that used to happen, no longer do.
 

SlimySnake

Flashless at the Golden Globes
Yes. One of my best friends is a girl but I was never attracted to her so its very easy.

She did marry my other best friend because they were attracted to each other so yeah, they could never just be friends.
 

Pejo

Member
Tough, but possible - if both are straight.

That said, I still think that most straight guys have thought about banging every one of their female friends at one point or another. I'm not a woman so I can't speak the other way around. Maybe not even in a lustful kind of way, but a curiosity kinda way.
 

Hari Seldon

Member
I think it depends on your age and life-stage you are in. Answers will be different depending on if you are in college, work at a pizza shop, or a professional. Even a professional will answer differently depending on if they are in a profession with a shit ton of women like say healthcare compared to something like engineering. Also someone who is married with kids will be far less likely to care about making new friends with the opposite sex, why risk family and career just to go out to drinks after work with your female work buddy? I wouldn't take that risk.
 

Mistake

Member
The best friendships I’ve had with women were ones that were married. They get super chill after settling in I guess.
 

DeafTourette

Perpetually Offended
Yes. I have friends who are VERY attractive and beautiful... And I wouldn't date them or eff then with a ten foot pole. I don't do crazy in a relationship. A friend? Yes, we can be that. More? No, thank you. :)
 

DeceptiveAlarm

Gold Member
I've had a few platonic relationships. Most only lasted till both of us were horny and alone.

I do have a couple at the moment. Two of them are older than my mom. They are work friends. The other is so fat that I wouldn't have sex with her. I see them lasting. If I get that horny I'll make sure I'm not alone with them.
 
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