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[iAmMaximus]

I've been dating my GF for about 1.5 years now and it's been difficult trying to maintain my independence in the relationship--moreso me than her. She's still a student and I work full-time so our schedule depends on her class schedule--which changes every quarter. Last quarter we met 3 time a week but now with the start of a new quarter, she has a lot more flexibility.

Last night I told her how I've been neglecting myself in this relationship in that I haven't been pursuing any hobbies or personal projects. All I think about is spending time with her. So when I told her this, she proposed that we should make a conscious effort to meet only 3 times a week--even though her schedule allows for more time together. I don't have a problem with having our own space but I do have a problem with us making a conscious effort to putting a number on how often we see each other in the week. Am I wrong for thinking this? I just think that finding this balance between my independence and this relationship is something I need to work on my own. I think that as long as I'm able to do that, it doesn't matter how often we see each other...right?

TL;DR - Told GF I've been neglecting myself in the relationship and thinks that we should meet 3 times a week and I don't like putting a number to it. Am I wrong for thinking this? As long as I'm working on finding the balance between my independence and the relationship, that's all that matters...right?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I've been dating my GF for about 1.5 years now and it's been difficult trying to maintain my independence in the relationship--moreso me than her. She's still a student and I work full-time so our schedule depends on her class schedule--which changes every quarter. Last quarter we met 3 time a week but now with the start of a new quarter, she has a lot more flexibility.

Last night I told her how I've been neglecting myself in this relationship in that I haven't been pursuing any hobbies or personal projects. All I think about is spending time with her. So when I told her this, she proposed that we should make a conscious effort to meet only 3 times a week--even though her schedule allows for more time together. I don't have a problem with having our own space but I do have a problem with us making a conscious effort to putting a number on how often we see each other in the week. Am I wrong for thinking this? I just think that finding this balance between my independence and this relationship is something I need to work on my own. I think that as long as I'm able to do that, it doesn't matter how often we see each other...right?

TL;DR - Told GF I've been neglecting myself in the relationship and thinks that we should meet 3 times a week and I don't like putting a number to it. Am I wrong for thinking this? As long as I'm working on finding the balance between my independence and the relationship, that's all that matters...right?

It sounds like she offered a possible solution to the problem in a calm and rational way. The problem, where I see it, is that you're both speaking in generalities. You should want to spend time with your partner, but not to the complete exclusion of personal interests. It's great that you're trying to find your balance, and it's equally fantastic that she's willing to accommodate. But don't just say you want to focus more on yourself. Actually focus more on yourself.

It's far healthier (and sustainable, for your own self-improvement) if you dedicate every Tuesday night to a hobby and spend every Sunday afternoon with your golf buddies. Basically, block out time and things and reassess as necessary rather than putting an arbitrary number on the amount of times you see her. Besides, neither of you is going to stick to that number, and if you hit Date 3 by Wednesday, it's just going to get awkward.

 

[Jhoan]

So the girl from from Wednesday said that she didn't see this going anywhere and wished me the best. I wasn't surprised in the slightest so I didn't take as bad as opposed to say a year ago. Life goes on. Although I will say that I think she had high expectations of me similar to another girl I went out with in February. *shrug*

As a result, I removed the little blurb I wrote about being a freelancer, liking pizza and beer, and volunteering. At least I have one date lined up next week but if it doesn't pan out, I'm going to take a break from dating until things lax out in May. I have a higher chance of meeting girls similar to my interests at events I volunteer at/attend but I go to those events for myself because I love it.

 

[gwailo]

TL;DR - Told GF I've been neglecting myself in the relationship and thinks that we should meet 3 times a week and I don't like putting a number to it. Am I wrong for thinking this? As long as I'm working on finding the balance between my independence and the relationship, that's all that matters...right?

Were you able to have "alone time" (for lack of a better term) before or is it just under this new schedule?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Many people where I live are genuinely really busy and a lot of the tinder convos I have are at the rate of one or two messages a day But I definitely agree with the general point here.

Time to message means times to meet too, because they aren't just messaging one person, they are messaging multiple people and that takes times...

A week is usually how long I chat with someone before asking them out, so that could very well be my problem. Thanks for the advice.

You see the problem so that's good. You should ideally only talk for a day or two before you ask the other person out or for off site contact details.

You'll filter out time-wasters much faster that way too.

 

[dskillzhtown]

So the girl from from Wednesday said that she didn't see this going anywhere and wished me the best. I wasn't surprised in the slightest so I didn't take as bad as opposed to say a year ago. Life goes on. Although I will say that I think she had high expectations of me similar to another girl I went out with in February. *shrug*

As a result, I removed the little blurb I wrote about being a freelancer, liking pizza and beer, and volunteering. At least I have one date lined up next week but if it doesn't pan out, I'm going to take a break from dating until things lax out in May. I have a higher chance of meeting girls similar to my interests at events I volunteer at/attend but I go to those events for myself because I love it.

That is usually the best way to meet people. You already have an in as you share an interest.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

So the girl from from Wednesday said that she didn't see this going anywhere and wished me the best. I wasn't surprised in the slightest so I didn't take as bad as opposed to say a year ago. Life goes on. Although I will say that I think she had high expectations of me similar to another girl I went out with in February. *shrug*

As a result, I removed the little blurb I wrote about being a freelancer, liking pizza and beer, and volunteering. At least I have one date lined up next week but if it doesn't pan out, I'm going to take a break from dating until things lax out in May. I have a higher chance of meeting girls similar to my interests at events I volunteer at/attend but I go to those events for myself because I love it.

You're surrounded by people in an environment where you feel the most comfortable and confident, that's absolutely where you should be trying to meet people.

I get that you go because you love it and want to enjoy yourself, but there's no harm in using the opportunity to reach out to a few people and make some connections. They'll see you at your best and that leaves a lasting impression, so even if you fumble a little, they won't just bail or cut you off as happens all too often in online dating.

 

[ZackieChan]

So the girl from from Wednesday said that she didn't see this going anywhere and wished me the best. I wasn't surprised in the slightest so I didn't take as bad as opposed to say a year ago. Life goes on. Although I will say that I think she had high expectations of me similar to another girl I went out with in February. *shrug*

As a result, I removed the little blurb I wrote about being a freelancer, liking pizza and beer, and volunteering. At least I have one date lined up next week but if it doesn't pan out, I'm going to take a break from dating until things lax out in May. I have a higher chance of meeting girls similar to my interests at events I volunteer at/attend but I go to those events for myself because I love it.

I don't see how that blurb you removed creates high expectations. What was the expectation?

 

[Jhoan]

That I take on a lot of freelance work when in fact, I don't unless you count working at conventions as freelance work. Although I think it had less to do with what I wrote, more to do with what I said that might have been a turn off to her since I tend to talk about myself a bit too much on dates and mentioned that I'm going away to Boston in a few weeks. But I won't dwell on it for too long unless you guys noticed something that I don't.

 

[ZackieChan]

I don't see a problem with any of it, except talking about yourself too much. Don't worry too much about it.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it either. If someone likes you, they like you. Hell, according to my girlfriend, apparently I inadvertently said some incredibly offensive things on our first few dates. Recently, after she pointed it out and I've made an effort to be less judgmental, I asked her why she put up with it, and she said "Because I liked you and because people can change."

 

[Jhoan]

Yeah, I don't really care which is why it didn't phase me when she said she wasn't feeling it. I mean her closed body language was telling enough. I was being myself so maybe she's looking for someone who has short hair or a 9-5 job or is into less nerdy stuff.

In other news, the law school girl had to move our meet up time up a few hours into the evening since she forgot she had mock trial in the night. Law school sure does sound...busy to say the least.

 

[bluethree]

Yeah, I don't really care which is why it didn't phase me when she said she wasn't feeling it. I mean her closed body language was telling enough. I was being myself so maybe she's looking for someone who has short hair or a 9-5 job or is into less nerdy stuff.
.

It sucks getting rejected in cases like this, but if she really did reject you because of your job or whatever she is doing you a favor. Your job/source of income is definitely going to be important to many women, but plenty don't care if you're rich or do something outside of the typical 9-5 stuff.

I teach English in Asia now and many girls on online sites outright stop replying to me when they learn what I do. The field carries a certain stigma with it (i.e. backpackers who make shit money and just want to travel for a few years), but my particular position is quite good and not the sort of thing that anyone can get easily.

Yet there are just as many women (in fact, many more women, even those my age or older) who don't care or don't jump to conclusions, and I'd rather date girls like that anyway.

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it either. If someone likes you, they like you. Hell, according to my girlfriend, apparently I inadvertently said some incredibly offensive things on our first few dates. Recently, after she pointed it out and I've made an effort to be less judgmental, I asked her why she put up with it, and she said "Because I liked you and because people can change."

Definitely this, and it goes both ways. I've had a couple of successful dates recently with a younger girl and while there are a few things that are a bit off putting (she seems kinda inexperienced for one), it's not gonna stop me from wanting to see her again.

 

[anaslexy]

I've been friends with a girl for over six months and we've gotten quite close as friends. We've talked about how easy it is for us share things with each other that we can't with anyone else. We almost daily text each other silly things and inwuire about our we'll being.

We've also been till recently kept on going dates and shared how disastrous they've been going. She is an attractive girl and I had recently started wondering if she had feelings for me since we are both single. Last night we went out for dinner and saw a live band where I found us getting physical with each other like holding hands and dancing seductively. I thought this was a clear sign but when I went in for a kiss last, she said we should stay friends. I said that is fine and the reason I made a move is because I was wondering if her feelings for me have changed due to her actions. I've also found her getting jealous and acting possessive when I would go out and flirt with other women with her around. One time she snapped at a woman who was flirting with me and said are you going to dance with him or just talk and took me away.

This morning she texted me and said we should catchup tonight for a drink at 9pm. I have no idea what this means and my instinct tell me I should go along and see what happens.

I was wondering if there is any advice from GAF if there is anything I should do.

 

[ZackieChan]

Just go with it, man. You want to be dating her?

 

[anaslexy]

Just go with it, man. You want to be dating her?

I'd like to because she is attractive and we get along well

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

So, you want to date her. Show up and see what she says. Either she'll want to date you and you'll be incredibly happy, or she'll say something different, and you won't be any worse off than you are right now.

 

[chicko1983]

This morning she texted me and said we should catchup tonight for a drink at 9pm. I have no idea what this means and my instinct tell me I should go along and see what happens.

I was wondering if there is any advice from GAF if there is anything I should do.

My opinion is that she wants you, but is also still a little on the fence, for whatever reason.

Good work with making a move, well done. See her again for a drink and make another move when the time is right. If she says she only wants to be friends again, then tell her you cant just be friends because you are attracted to her.

If she declines after that, then move on (I am assuming you do want to date her?). Good luck.

I went out tonight but only for a short time. I got a number of a girl ..... but it was my mate's wife - she had her phone stolen last week and had a new number. So a pretty quiet night for me.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

I ended up getting drunk and hitting on a hot 30 something woman who volunteers at the same place I do at a birthday party, I find out she's married, this is embarrassing lol, don't know how I'll ever look her in the eye again

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I ended up getting drunk and hitting on a hot 30 something woman who volunteers at the same place I do at a birthday party, I find out she's married, this is embarrassing lol

How's it embarrassing? You probably cheered her up with innocent flattery and you managed to approach a "hot 30-something woman." It's a win-win for both sides. No one got hurt, no one did anything stupid, and it's only going to be awkward if you make it awkward.

 

[WolfeTone]

Vern, Zackie, I had my first TanTan date recently. It was pretty fun. The girl was super cute and very easy to talk to. We went for a run together, which is a pretty weird first date but we were both into it. We talked for quite a while before we met. She has never been in a relationship or dated before. I told her I'm not looking for a relationship as I think I'm a happier person when I'm single and playing the field. She said she has no real experience of dating or romance and she's not sure what it is she wants, new experiences maybe.

Bearing that in mind, I probably won't pursue anything romantic with her as I feel kind of odd dating girls who have no experience since I feel like they would be better off dating people who might actually be interested in something serious. I don't want to be in business of corrupting these innocent girls' minds with thoughts of non-exclusive dating. That being said, we'll probably hang out again as friends. Good to have an exercise buddy.

 

[ZackieChan]

Vern, Zackie, I had my first TanTan date recently. It was pretty fun. The girl was super cute and very easy to talk to. We went for a run together, which is a pretty weird first date but we were both into it. We talked for quite a while before we met. She has never been in a relationship or dated before. I told her I'm not looking for a relationship as I think I'm a happier person when I'm single and playing the field. She said she has no real experience of dating or romance and she's not sure what it is she wants, new experiences maybe.

Bearing that in mind, I probably won't pursue anything romantic with her as I feel kind of odd dating girls who have no experience since I feel like they would be better off dating people who might actually be interested in something serious. I don't want to be in business of corrupting these innocent girls' minds with thoughts of non-exclusive dating. That being said, we'll probably hang out again as friends. Good to have an exercise buddy.

No way, bro. This is the best - sounds like she'll have little to no expectations. That could be hugely advantageous, imo.

Glad you had a great time!

 

[WolfeTone]

No way, bro. This is the best - sounds like she'll have little to no expectations. That could be hugely advantageous, imo.

Glad you had a great time!

Thanks man. It was fun. No expectations are good for sure. I'll keep seeing her and see how things go. I personally think I'll have a hard time feeling attracted to someone so innocent but who knows what might happen.

 

[Salamando]

Went to a singles event at a local bar. No numbers, but I did leave with a freelance job offer. Don't think that's how its supposed to work.

 

[WolfeTone]

Went to a singles event at a local bar. No numbers, but I did leave with a freelance job offer. Don't think that's how its supposed to work.

Reminds me of those people who say they're on tinder for 'networking' purposes.

 

[ZackieChan]

Went to a singles event at a local bar. No numbers, but I did leave with a freelance job offer. Don't think that's how its supposed to work.

You probably got the better end of the deal on that one.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Well my date rain checked on me tonight, so I'm staying in getting drunk and playing Street Fighter

 

[Dryk]

My opinion is that she wants you, but is also still a little on the fence, for whatever reason.

Probably just doesn't want things to change. But yeah if she's getting jealous of other women there's probably something there.

 

[Kurtofan]

I've decided to go in a park today, and try to talk to people (girls) there... but I didn't have the courage...

lot of couples, lot of people in groups, very few people my age alone and I wasn't quite sure what to say.

seeing couples is also very hard, I really can't stand seeing couples.

 

[electricshake]

I've decided to go in a park today, and try to talk to people (girls) there... but I didn't have the courage...

lot of couples, lot of people in groups, very few people my age alone and I wasn't quite sure what to say.

seeing couples is also very hard, I really can't stand seeing couples.

Um that is pretty weird and unhealthy. What is your problem with them?

 

[Salamando]

You probably got the better end of the deal on that one.

Ended up getting coffee with the person today. By the end she was offering me equity in her startup if I came aboard as their CTO. None of that is innuendo for anything. i already have a full time job that pays way more than a startup can, so I politely declined her offer. Does the world really need yet another dating app?

She was actually the coordinator of the singles event, and wanted someone to help analyze data. In particular for her speed dating events. She showed me the results from a speed dating event she hosted...I am so glad I wasn't born a black woman. Out of 14 guys and 11 girls, there was only one guy who "matched" with a black girl. Every white girl got at least two matches of their own.

I've decided to go in a park today, and try to talk to people (girls) there... but I didn't have the courage...

lot of couples, lot of people in groups, very few people my age alone and I wasn't quite sure what to say.

seeing couples is also very hard, I really can't stand seeing couples.

Sorry, I couldn't resist...

 

[ZackieChan]

I've decided to go in a park today, and try to talk to people (girls) there... but I didn't have the courage...

lot of couples, lot of people in groups, very few people my age alone and I wasn't quite sure what to say.

seeing couples is also very hard, I really can't stand seeing couples.

Why not go to places where there are single women, instead of torturing yourself looking at old people and couples?

 

[WolfeTone]

I've decided to go in a park today, and try to talk to people (girls) there... but I didn't have the courage...

lot of couples, lot of people in groups, very few people my age alone and I wasn't quite sure what to say.

seeing couples is also very hard, I really can't stand seeing couples.

I can't imagine putting myself in a situation like that. Approaching single women in the park is something I can safely say I'll never feel comfortable doing. I like putting myself in opportunities where I'm forced to chat to new people, such as a dance class. Most dance classes don't require a partner and the instructors ask the students to rotate partners every few minutes so you get a chance to dance with everyone. In that kind of situation you don't have to think of some kind of ice breaker or some excuse to talk to people.

What you said about seeing couples being difficult for you is quite worrying to be honest. I don't know you or your background, but I've got friends who feel similarly to you. They feel depressed that they're single and seeing other people in relationships makes them upset. Personally I feel like this is a very unhealthy attitude. I believe that if you're unhappy being single then finding a relationship is not going to suddenly make you happy. That kind of attitude will make you desperate for a relationship, which means you'll pursue people who may not be right for you just because you're depressed being alone. Desperation is not an attractive feature either and will make it harder for you to flirt with and engage meaningfully with women you're interested in.

I think you need to be happy as a single person before you start pursuing a relationship. Finding a girlfriend isn't the answer.

 

[ZackieChan]

I think you need to be happy as a single person before you start pursuing a relationship. Finding a girlfriend isn't the answer.

In fact, it can make you less happy. 😏

 

[Your Entertainer]

Here's a discussion I figured I would start in here, as opposed to making a new thread.

Looking back through facebook timelines of friends, I noticed a few of my friends were never single. Like they'd break up with one long-term GF, and then seemingly immediately be in another relationship. Almost as if they were "snapped up". If someone tends to be single for long periods of time (and is actively wanting/seeking companionship during those periods), does that mean they're less desirable? And, on the flip side, if one is constantly in relationships, entering new ones shortly after, can one assume they're a more desirable person overall? Or can all of that be chalked up to their dating skills?

Sorry if that seems like a really obvious point of discussion.

 

[ZackieChan]

I guess if you're only dating in a small existing pool, people might see you as undateable. But people you've never met before would have no idea. I think it's the other way around - they're undateable and thus are often single. They gotta work on making themselves desirable.

 

[WolfeTone]

Here's a discussion I figured I would start in here, as opposed to making a new thread.

Looking back through facebook timelines of friends, I noticed a few of my friends were never single. Like they'd break up with one long-term GF, and then seemingly immediately be in another relationship. Almost as if they were "snapped up". If someone tends to be single for long periods of time (and is actively wanting/seeking companionship during those periods), does that mean they're less desirable? And, on the flip side, if one is constantly in relationships, entering new ones shortly after, can one assume they're a more desirable person overall? Or can all of that be chalked up to their dating skills?

Sorry if that seems like a really obvious point of discussion.

Some people I've known in the past had a tendency to end relationships when they had something else lined up. For example, a guy I worked with for a brief while was in a long term relationship but then started getting close to another girl in the workplace. The signs were all there for us to see, but he eventually broke up with his existing girlfriend and got together with this new girl.

Maybe some people are in similar placeholder relationships until something better comes along and then jump from relationship to relationship in this way.

Another reason why people get "snapped up" is because some people are terrified of being alone so when they find themselves single they get so afraid that they immediately jump into a new relationship. Some people can find new relationships very easily, especially if they're attractive and willing to lower their standards in order to avoid the single-life.

On your other point, I'd tend to agree with Zackie. People who are single long-term are not less desirable because of that. Some are single long-term because they are undesirable. Someone who is desirable but has still been single long-term is likely doing so by choice until they find someone who meets their standards. Or they're just freaks like me who enjoy being single

People who have been in lots of relationships are not more desirable as a result. If anything they might have more baggage and maybe it says something about their character that they've been in so many failed relationships, could be some awful character flaw that leads to all their relationships ending.

 

[Kurtofan]

Why not go to places where there are single women, instead of torturing yourself looking at old people and couples?

what are those places?

Um that is pretty weird and unhealthy. What is your problem with them?

Envy?

 

[Messofanego]

Just realised how perfect this advice is for Dating Age:

Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you want to date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time
And haven't been too serious
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company
But if you're honest, and direct
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech
When you break the news
The boy will respect you for your frankness
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind and
Straightforward manner in which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you'll remain friends

One of the best 90s songs.

 

[SPCTRE]

Some people I've known in the past had a tendency to end relationships when they had something else lined up. For example, a guy I worked with for a brief while was in a long term relationship but then started getting close to another girl in the workplace. The signs were all there for us to see, but he eventually broke up with his existing girlfriend and got together with this new girl.

Maybe some people are in similar placeholder relationships until something better comes along and then jump from relationship to relationship in this way.

Another reason why people get "snapped up" is because some people are terrified of being alone so when they find themselves single they get so afraid that they immediately jump into a new relationship. Some people can find new relationships very easily, especially if they're attractive and willing to lower their standards in order to avoid the single-life.

On your other point, I'd tend to agree with Zackie. People who are single long-term are not less desirable because of that. Some are single long-term because they are undesirable. Someone who is desirable but has still been single long-term is likely doing so by choice until they find someone who meets their standards. Or they're just freaks like me who enjoy being single

People who have been in lots of relationships are not more desirable as a result. If anything they might have more baggage and maybe it says something about their character that they've been in so many failed relationships, could be some awful character flaw that leads to all their relationships ending.

Also, remember that there are people who literally don't know how to live alone because they have never done it.

Example: My sister-in-law moved out of her childhood home and immediately in with her husband, divorced him and immediately moved in with husband #2. (I'm skipping over details here, but she has, in essence, never, ever, lived alone, as a single adult person.)

Desirability doesn't really factor into it in this case, it's about a pattern of behavior.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Some people I've known in the past had a tendency to end relationships when they had something else lined up. For example, a guy I worked with for a brief while was in a long term relationship but then started getting close to another girl in the workplace. The signs were all there for us to see, but he eventually broke up with his existing girlfriend and got together with this new girl.

Maybe some people are in similar placeholder relationships until something better comes along and then jump from relationship to relationship in this way.

Another reason why people get "snapped up" is because some people are terrified of being alone so when they find themselves single they get so afraid that they immediately jump into a new relationship. Some people can find new relationships very easily, especially if they're attractive and willing to lower their standards in order to avoid the single-life.

On your other point, I'd tend to agree with Zackie. People who are single long-term are not less desirable because of that. Some are single long-term because they are undesirable. Someone who is desirable but has still been single long-term is likely doing so by choice until they find someone who meets their standards. Or they're just freaks like me who enjoy being single

People who have been in lots of relationships are not more desirable as a result. If anything they might have more baggage and maybe it says something about their character that they've been in so many failed relationships, could be some awful character flaw that leads to all their relationships ending.

I've seen this and had it happen to me before. Never done it anyone because if I was starting to develop feelings for someone I wasn't dating, I'd end things and hope it works out but if it doesn't, I'd just get back out there.

I've also seen some hilarious backfires,where someone left a good relationship for someone new only to be used by that person and then be left alone and desperate to get back with their ex.

 

[Kurtofan]

Also I don't think being desperate is my problem, my problem is that I've never approached someone before, I got used to it for a long time but now I don't want to be used to it. I want to get over my shyness and fear of talking to people more than anything, this is really my top aim here.

even if the relationship is just friendly that's good for me.

 

[Dryk]

If someone tends to be single for long periods of time (and is actively wanting/seeking companionship during those periods), does that mean they're less desirable?

As someone who has dated both of the people that have ever shown interest I certainly feel that way.

 

[vern]

Vern, Zackie, I had my first TanTan date recently. It was pretty fun. The girl was super cute and very easy to talk to. We went for a run together, which is a pretty weird first date but we were both into it. We talked for quite a while before we met. She has never been in a relationship or dated before. I told her I'm not looking for a relationship as I think I'm a happier person when I'm single and playing the field. She said she has no real experience of dating or romance and she's not sure what it is she wants, new experiences maybe.

Bearing that in mind, I probably won't pursue anything romantic with her as I feel kind of odd dating girls who have no experience since I feel like they would be better off dating people who might actually be interested in something serious. I don't want to be in business of corrupting these innocent girls' minds with thoughts of non-exclusive dating. That being said, we'll probably hang out again as friends. Good to have an exercise buddy.

Yeah man I've met a few of these! They are fun! You not in China right? She probably just wants to learn a few things and have some life experiences, treat her well and be honest with her and give her those experiences.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

Some people I've known in the past had a tendency to end relationships when they had something else lined up. For example, a guy I worked with for a brief while was in a long term relationship but then started getting close to another girl in the workplace. The signs were all there for us to see, but he eventually broke up with his existing girlfriend and got together with this new girl.

Maybe some people are in similar placeholder relationships until something better comes along and then jump from relationships to relationship in this way.

Another reason why people get "snapped up" is because some people are terrified of being alone so when they find themselves single they get so afraid that they immediately jump into a new relationship. Some people can find new relationships very easily, especially if they're attractive and willing to lower their standards in order to avoid the single-life.

On your other point, I'd tend to agree with Zackie. People who are single long-term are not less desirable because of that. Some are single long-term because they are undesirable. Someone who is desirable but has still been single long-term is likely doing so by choice until they find someone who meets their standards. Or they're just freaks like me who enjoy being single

People who have been in lots of relationships are not more desirable as a result. If anything they might have more baggage and maybe it says something about their character that they've been in so many failed relationships, could be some awful character flaw that leads to all their relationships ending.

Yup happened to me, I found out I was a nice secure placeholder. Not the best feeling!

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Re: TanTan.

I recommended it to a friend after seeing it here mentioned here and he sent me this last night...

He's been going on regular dates too and chatting to a few women through WeChat or something. He's based in Oxford, so I imagine London would be better even better if you're in the UK.

 

[Scotch]

Also I don't think being desperate is my problem, my problem is that I've never approached someone before, I got used to it for a long time but now I don't want to be used to it. I want to get over my shyness and fear of talking to people more than anything, this is really my top aim here.

even if the relationship is just friendly that's good for me.

Getting over your shyness is a good goal, but going to the park to talk to people seems like a bad way to deal with it. Approaching people in a setting like that is very hard, and unless you're hot they might think you come off as creepy.

You should consider taking up a new hobby where you meet a lot of new people. Dance lessons, yoga, some sport, whatever. Go to speeddating events. Do things that force you to talk to other people.

 

[GK86]

http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1204208

Study on online profiles pictures.

 

[vern]

Re: TanTan.

I recommended it to a friend after seeing it here mentioned here and he sent me this last night...



He's been going on regular dates too and chatting to a few women through WeChat or something. He's based in Oxford, so I imagine London would be better even better if you're in the UK.

Only 94 😂 And yeah tantan is just a platform to find people to add wechat IDs with. I guess it's like moving from tinder to a cell phone number in the US. Always get off those pairing apps as soon as possible.

 

[Astral]

http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1204208

Study on online profiles pictures.

Why must crossing my arms feel so comfortable? 😢