• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Getting laid on Craigslist

Status
Not open for further replies.
K

kingocfs

Member
TheWiicast said:
CL is lame. Do you have a smartphone? When I found out my phone could find me sex, naturally i wanted in. I met him on that Growlr app. It's like a gay GPS system. You set your location, set your filters like daddies, silverdaddies, leather daddies (my favorite) and then Poof! (Pun intended) there's a list of guys you can fuck in your area. This is the fucking future! I set up a profile with a tasteful portrait I took with the front camera in my phone that I ran through a dozen editing apps on my phone because you know, you want to look good for all the other guys looking fir sex in their phone in the middle of the day on a tuesday. I instantly get a message from this guy “MACK”. He looked like Tom sellick and bill Goldberg rolled into one. we start to chat and decide to meet. Now this app is cool but the location tracking is a little off. For instance it said MACK was 4.6 miles from me when in reality it was more 11. The door opens and I see a more that slightly aged and expanded version of MACK from online. We get to talking. He's a “bear”, drives an 18 wheeler (meaning one of those kias powered by 18 hamsters on wheels) and works construction in the side (set decorator for the community theater). He leads me through the house to the bedroom. The usual bachelor pad. Tammy Fay commemorative plates lining the the hallway, cat smell, Caribbean mardi gras themed bathroom. He had a, and I'm serious, a very masculine four poster bed with billowing fabric. It actually turns out that one part of his profile was true. He was a total top… I laid down, he threw a condom on ME and he hopped on top. Ill tell you - I was balls deep in him so fast that growlr app probably said we were negative 8 inches away from each other.

Hey, have you ever gone to a motel that is a little fancier and they have a pool and jacuzzi setup? You know how the water isn't quite hot enough to feel good and it's kind of slimy? That's exactly how my dick felt at that moment.

So thank you technology for letting me know finding people to have sex with on the middle of a weekday is a bad idea.
Click to expand...

iCAo8PFLInp3C.gif
 
S

SillyEskimo

Member
My sister in law used Craigslist for sex hookups for over a year after her divorce. She never had any complaints. Quite the opposite, surprisingly. She's a pretty good looking asian too.
 
A

Az987

all good things
I have a free account on adultfriendfinder.

If I was gay I would be having so much sex. If I was gay and attracted to middle aged men I would be having even more sex than before.
 
A

Az

Member
TheWiicast said:
CL is lame. Do you have a smartphone? When I found out my phone could find me sex, naturally i wanted in. I met him on that Growlr app. It's like a gay GPS system. You set your location, set your filters like daddies, silverdaddies, leather daddies (my favorite) and then Poof! (Pun intended) there's a list of guys you can fuck in your area. This is the fucking future! I set up a profile with a tasteful portrait I took with the front camera in my phone that I ran through a dozen editing apps on my phone because you know, you want to look good for all the other guys looking fir sex in their phone in the middle of the day on a tuesday. I instantly get a message from this guy “MACK”. He looked like Tom sellick and bill Goldberg rolled into one. we start to chat and decide to meet. Now this app is cool but the location tracking is a little off. For instance it said MACK was 4.6 miles from me when in reality it was more 11. The door opens and I see a more that slightly aged and expanded version of MACK from online. We get to talking. He's a “bear”, drives an 18 wheeler (meaning one of those kias powered by 18 hamsters on wheels) and works construction in the side (set decorator for the community theater). He leads me through the house to the bedroom. The usual bachelor pad. Tammy Fay commemorative plates lining the the hallway, cat smell, Caribbean mardi gras themed bathroom. He had a, and I'm serious, a very masculine four poster bed with billowing fabric. It actually turns out that one part of his profile was true. He was a total top… I laid down, he threw a condom on ME and he hopped on top. Ill tell you - I was balls deep in him so fast that growlr app probably said we were negative 8 inches away from each other.

Hey, have you ever gone to a motel that is a little fancier and they have a pool and jacuzzi setup? You know how the water isn't quite hot enough to feel good and it's kind of slimy? That's exactly how my dick felt at that moment.

So thank you technology for letting me know finding people to have sex with on the middle of a weekday is a bad idea.
Click to expand...
1_123125_123050_2240796_2270148_101012_cb_2m5gfu0.jpg
 
T

TL4E

Member
As others have mentioned, go on OkCupid or something. Don't even explicitly ask girls for sex (bad idea), just go on a few dates and you're bound to get laid at least once.
 
R

Rezbit

Member
TheWiicast said:
CL is lame. Do you have a smartphone? When I found out my phone could find me sex, naturally i wanted in. I met him on that Growlr app. It's like a gay GPS system. You set your location, set your filters like daddies, silverdaddies, leather daddies (my favorite) and then Poof! (Pun intended) there's a list of guys you can fuck in your area. This is the fucking future! I set up a profile with a tasteful portrait I took with the front camera in my phone that I ran through a dozen editing apps on my phone because you know, you want to look good for all the other guys looking fir sex in their phone in the middle of the day on a tuesday. I instantly get a message from this guy “MACK”. He looked like Tom sellick and bill Goldberg rolled into one. we start to chat and decide to meet. Now this app is cool but the location tracking is a little off. For instance it said MACK was 4.6 miles from me when in reality it was more 11. The door opens and I see a more that slightly aged and expanded version of MACK from online. We get to talking. He's a “bear”, drives an 18 wheeler (meaning one of those kias powered by 18 hamsters on wheels) and works construction in the side (set decorator for the community theater). He leads me through the house to the bedroom. The usual bachelor pad. Tammy Fay commemorative plates lining the the hallway, cat smell, Caribbean mardi gras themed bathroom. He had a, and I'm serious, a very masculine four poster bed with billowing fabric. It actually turns out that one part of his profile was true. He was a total top… I laid down, he threw a condom on ME and he hopped on top. Ill tell you - I was balls deep in him so fast that growlr app probably said we were negative 8 inches away from each other.

Hey, have you ever gone to a motel that is a little fancier and they have a pool and jacuzzi setup? You know how the water isn't quite hot enough to feel good and it's kind of slimy? That's exactly how my dick felt at that moment.

So thank you technology for letting me know finding people to have sex with on the middle of a weekday is a bad idea.
Click to expand...

ZaXLn4m.gif
 
T

TAJ

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Clydefrog said:
I picked up a prostitute on accident once.
Click to expand...

I was friendzoned by a few prostitutes back when working the streets was still a thing.
They'd be asking all the guys before and after me if they wanted a "date", but they'd just want to chat with me about normal stuff.
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airing of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.
 
A

akira28

Member
TAJ said:
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airdate of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.
Click to expand...

Maybe it means that you're such a nice guy they couldn't imagine taking your money for sex because it would somehow ruin you?
 
T

TAJ

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
akira28 said:
Maybe it means that you're such a nice guy they couldn't imagine taking your money for sex because it would somehow ruin you?
Click to expand...

lol
I'd much rather be seen as a piece of meat. :(
But damn those girls could really keep up their end of a conversation.
 
F

Ferrio

Banned
StealthxHawk said:
Eh my best fiend found a girl on craigs list... They got married last year and have a baby on the way.

keep in mind I'm sure this is very rare...
Click to expand...

Same, friend of mine met his current fiance there, they're getting married in hawaii this month. They've been together for atleast 4 years too.
 
R

RionaaM

Unconfirmed Member
TAJ said:
I was friendzoned by a few prostitutes back when working the streets was still a thing.
They'd be asking all the guys before and after me if they wanted a "date", but they'd just want to chat with me about normal stuff.
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airing of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.
Click to expand...
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I feel for you man, I feel for you.
 
B

bggrthnjsus

Member
i have a friend who regularly sleeps w/ strangers from craigslist under some wacky pseudonym. i'm actually kind of surprised he's not dead yet.
 
B

bud

Member
TAJ said:
I was friendzoned by a few prostitutes back when working the streets was still a thing.
They'd be asking all the guys before and after me if they wanted a "date", but they'd just want to chat with me about normal stuff.
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airing of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.
Click to expand...

... what. you got friendzoned by not just one, but SEVERAL prostitutes? no fucking way.
 
K

kingocfs

Member
TAJ said:
I was friendzoned by a few prostitutes back when working the streets was still a thing.
They'd be asking all the guys before and after me if they wanted a "date", but they'd just want to chat with me about normal stuff.
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airing of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.
Click to expand...

That has to be rock bottom, right?

Nowhere to go but up, man.
 
H

Hasphat'sAnts

Member
TAJ said:
I was friendzoned by a few prostitutes back when working the streets was still a thing.
They'd be asking all the guys before and after me if they wanted a "date", but they'd just want to chat with me about normal stuff.
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airing of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.
Click to expand...

yZPK1xv.jpg
 
Grinchy

Grinchy

Banned
TL4E said:
As others have mentioned, go on OkCupid or something. Don't even explicitly ask girls for sex (bad idea), just go on a few dates and you're bound to get laid at least once.
Click to expand...

A few dates is more expensive than a hooker.
 
F

fuzzyreactor

Banned
TAJ said:
I was friendzoned by a few prostitutes back when working the streets was still a thing.
They'd be asking all the guys before and after me if they wanted a "date", but they'd just want to chat with me about normal stuff.
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airing of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.
Click to expand...

This is great. Yes, this is great.
 
T

TAJ

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
bud said:
... what. you got friendzoned by not just one, but SEVERAL prostitutes? no fucking way.
Click to expand...

Yeah.
By one in North Park, one in Vegas, and one in L.A.
 
K

King Boo

Member
TAJ said:
I was friendzoned by a few prostitutes back when working the streets was still a thing.
They'd be asking all the guys before and after me if they wanted a "date", but they'd just want to chat with me about normal stuff.
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airing of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.
Click to expand...

to hell with those prostitutes. you dodged several bullets there
 
S

SlipperySlope

Banned
MatthewB92 said:
Always just seemed to be a one night stand site to me. My cousin used it thinking she would find true love and all that happen is she got knocked up and the father is a moron. It might not be terrible I don't normally read okcupid stories so I'm just basing my opinion on like 3 or 4 cases of it based on people I know in real life.
Click to expand...

Depends. I found my wife on OKCupid. Gotta know what you're looking for, and your intentions should be clear on the first date on whether you want a hookup or relationship.
 
H

Hypereides

Member
Dude, red, big fucking RED flags. Red flags all over this.

You should abort "operation get laid over craiglist" immediately.
 
O

Omegasquash

Member
TL4E said:
OkCupid ladies tend to have pretty modern dating etiquette

You also get to keep a bit of your dignity by getting laid through dates
Click to expand...

I can imagine that there are those who might lose dignity and those that don't need to give a fuck. In the case of the latter, I'm thinking about uncommitted folks that tend to travel (truckers, salesmen, entertainers).

Granted I have not, nor do I plan to partake of services offered by the oldest profession, however the judgment put forward assuming a loss of dignity isn't universally applicable.

Edit: More to the point, Craigslist carries a certain amount of sketchy with it. If you must proceed, do so with caution.
 
T

TL4E

Member
Omegasquash said:
I can imagine that there are those who might lose dignity and those that don't need to give a fuck. In the case of the latter, I'm thinking about uncommitted folks that tend to travel (truckers, salesmen, entertainers).

Granted I have not, nor do I plan to partake of services offered by the oldest profession, however the judgment put forward assuming a loss of dignity isn't universally applicable.

Edit: More to the point, Craigslist carries a certain amount of sketchy with it. If you must proceed, do so with caution.
Click to expand...

You make a good point!

People have their needs, and I'm not one to judge. But in my case, I have no interest in meeting women with the prearranged purpose of fucking.
 
H

hoos30

Member
rjc571 said:
Put up an ad on Craigslist, "casual encounters". Didn't give out any personal info other than my age.

Got a response from someone who claims she's interested. Doesn't provide any info except what town she lives in.

Sent an email asking for her picture.

Got a much longer response. Says she's 23, we can meet at her house or a hotel, but she wants to meet me tonight first in public somewhere (which I can't do anyway).

Says she wants to speak but is too scared to give out her phone # (WTF? Huge red flag there). Links to her profile at some casual dating website. Profile says she's 26 (hmm...) Looks pretty good in her profile pic (though I can only see her face). Try viewing the rest of her pics but it says I have to sign up first. Signed up and tried viewing her pics again, says I need a paid membership to see them (yikes).

Now I'm really worried. Researched the site she linked me to, found a bunch of reviews saying it's a scam site. Apparently most, if not all, of the accounts there are fakes trying to lure people to the site and get them to sign up. A few lines in her second email make it seem like this is the case for her. On the other hand, I'm not sure why she would tell me where she lives and specify a meeting place if this was the case.

I was going to send a response pumping her for more information/demand her phone number, but reading through all of this, it's becoming pretty apparent that I should RUN LIKE HELL and never look back. On the other hand, I really want to get laid. What should I do?
Click to expand...

Dude, this is totally fake. The person writing this is a 20 year man in Nigeria.
 
O

Omegasquash

Member
TL4E said:
You make a good point!

People have their needs, and I'm not one to judge. But in my case, I have no interest in meeting women with the prearranged purpose of fucking.
Click to expand...

You and me both! That said, if for some reason I live longer than my wife, and I'm in my 75th year on earth and want to have a good time...well. I'll head on over to a spot where that's acceptable and for over for a good time.
 
C

[Clark Gable]

Banned
I heard there is this new disease called AIDS. Rumor has it you can catch it through sexual intercourse. I think people are full of shit though.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

  • Locked
Teenage girl suffers skull fracture, is in critical condition as a result of after-school fight
News
27
3K
Mistake replied
  • Locked
Gina Carano was going to get her own Star Wars spin-off before the internet mob got her fired
2
75
3K
ahtlas7 replied
Mother in laws and how to stop them?
2 3
100
4K
ThatStupidLion replied
Vince McMahon / Brock Lesner Accused of Sex Trafficking and other weird shit
2 3
149
14K
Grildon Tundy replied
Crazy In-Law Stories
15
1K
AlteredForms replied
Top Bottom