• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Getting laid on Craigslist

Status
Not open for further replies.

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
I nailed a chick off of craigslist a couple years back, it was awkward.

Same here. It was at a time when Craigslist was still sorta new. Looking back, it was a pretty dumb move. We went back and forth in email for like 2 days. The 3rd night I was at her place at about 11:30 at night. In a less than stellar neighborhood, in some apartments. Met her, she had an okay face, great body and we did the do. It was incredible We used protection and I was trying to get out of there as soon as possible. It was good, but ya know I was still wondering if some dude was going to jump out of the closet with a gun and rob me. I said my goodbyes and she made me promise to call her (she gave me her number after we were done), but I never did.

It was exciting, but not something that is very smart given the possibility of getting robbed, catching a disease, etc. But there has been casual sex between strangers forever, so it isn't 100% going to end badly, but better safe than sorry.
 

Az987

all good things
My sister in law used Craigslist for sex hookups for over a year after her divorce. She never had any complaints. Quite the opposite, surprisingly. She's a pretty good looking asian too.

I met an asian woman off of a hook up site. I wasn't really feeling her but we had sex and then like a week later we had sex again but I stopped talking to her because she said she was going to buy me a coffee maker for a birthday present and I got weirded out since I knew her for like 2 weeks.

Then I met another woman off of the same site and one day we were out and about in DC at some festival and we walked into a tent and there was the asian chick. I did a quick Abe Simpson walk in walk out move and got a text message about 15 minutes later that read "I know you saw me."

Awkwaaaaaaaaard.
 
[Clark Gable];52326537 said:
I heard there is this new disease called AIDS. Rumor has it you can catch it through sexual intercourse. I think people are full of shit though.

Yeah... better to not risk it and never have sex with anyone.
 

R3TRODYCE

Member

Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.
 

MThanded

I Was There! Official L Receiver 2/12/2016
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.
Story did not disappoint. Wow.
 
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.

:lol

Ahahahaha I couldnt finish reading this, I'm dying here...
 
Damn. I posted on CL earlier in the afternoon to meet someone and some paraplegic woman emailed me and wants to meet me. I feel so sick I can't even walk. =\
 

Chibits12

Banned
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.

Damn... 37 isn't too old though.
 

Gorillaz

Member
CL is lame. Do you have a smartphone? When I found out my phone could find me sex, naturally i wanted in. I met him on that Growlr app. It's like a gay GPS system. You set your location, set your filters like daddies, silverdaddies, leather daddies (my favorite) and then Poof! (Pun intended) there's a list of guys you can fuck in your area. This is the fucking future! I set up a profile with a tasteful portrait I took with the front camera in my phone that I ran through a dozen editing apps on my phone because you know, you want to look good for all the other guys looking fir sex in their phone in the middle of the day on a tuesday. I instantly get a message from this guy “MACK”. He looked like Tom sellick and bill Goldberg rolled into one. we start to chat and decide to meet. Now this app is cool but the location tracking is a little off. For instance it said MACK was 4.6 miles from me when in reality it was more 11. The door opens and I see a more that slightly aged and expanded version of MACK from online. We get to talking. He's a “bear”, drives an 18 wheeler (meaning one of those kias powered by 18 hamsters on wheels) and works construction in the side (set decorator for the community theater). He leads me through the house to the bedroom. The usual bachelor pad. Tammy Fay commemorative plates lining the the hallway, cat smell, Caribbean mardi gras themed bathroom. He had a, and I'm serious, a very masculine four poster bed with billowing fabric. It actually turns out that one part of his profile was true. He was a total top… I laid down, he threw a condom on ME and he hopped on top. Ill tell you - I was balls deep in him so fast that growlr app probably said we were negative 8 inches away from each other.

Hey, have you ever gone to a motel that is a little fancier and they have a pool and jacuzzi setup? You know how the water isn't quite hot enough to feel good and it's kind of slimy? That's exactly how my dick felt at that moment.

So thank you technology for letting me know finding people to have sex with on the middle of a weekday is a bad idea.

Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.
Thread Saved?

OP I don't think your story in the end will top these. Your fucking up.
 

Kickz

Member
A friend of a friends dated online with a guy from overseas. She was completely head over heels for him and the guy was very suave and had decent looking pics. Things proceed she pays for his ticket to fly to her so they can meet. He gets off the flight and surprise he is on a wheelchair.. Ofcourse he never mentioned this to her, she became a horrible mess afterward.
 

MThanded

I Was There! Official L Receiver 2/12/2016
A friend of a friends dated online with a guy from overseas. She was completely head over heels for him and the guy was very suave and had decent looking pics. Things proceed she pays for his ticket to fly to her so they can meet. He gets off the flight and surprise he is on a wheelchair.. Ofcourse he never mentioned this to her, she became a horrible mess afterward.
she goofed
 

dark_chris

Member
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.

I can't put my finger on this story. i want to but I dont know what to say so Ill leave it at "wow"
 

teh_pwn

"Saturated fat causes heart disease as much as Brawndo is what plants crave."
[Clark Gable];52326537 said:
I heard there is this new disease called AIDS. Rumor has it you can catch it through sexual intercourse. I think people are full of shit though.

There are STDs to be worried about catching. But AIDS from vaginal sex with a condom? Extremely unlikely. Might as well as not drive a car unlikely because the odds are comparable.
 

kingocfs

Member
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.

/dead
 

Rezbit

Member
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.

What a story, talk about character building stuff haha.
 

serplux

Member
Put up an ad on Craigslist, "casual encounters". Didn't give out any personal info other than my age.

Got a response from someone who claims she's interested. Doesn't provide any info except what town she lives in.

Sent an email asking for her picture.

Got a much longer response. Says she's 23, we can meet at her house or a hotel, but she wants to meet me tonight first in public somewhere (which I can't do anyway).

Says she wants to speak but is too scared to give out her phone # (WTF? Huge red flag there). Links to her profile at some casual dating website. Profile says she's 26 (hmm...) Looks pretty good in her profile pic (though I can only see her face). Try viewing the rest of her pics but it says I have to sign up first. Signed up and tried viewing her pics again, says I need a paid membership to see them (yikes).

Now I'm really worried. Researched the site she linked me to, found a bunch of reviews saying it's a scam site. Apparently most, if not all, of the accounts there are fakes trying to lure people to the site and get them to sign up. A few lines in her second email make it seem like this is the case for her. On the other hand, I'm not sure why she would tell me where she lives and specify a meeting place if this was the case.

I was going to send a response pumping her for more information/demand her phone number, but reading through all of this, it's becoming pretty apparent that I should RUN LIKE HELL and never look back. On the other hand, I really want to get laid. What should I do?

rjc, I liked ya bud. You were a good man; you had some nice insight over on the gaming side. I'll have a toast for ya tonight.

I was friendzoned by a few prostitutes back when working the streets was still a thing.
They'd be asking all the guys before and after me if they wanted a "date", but they'd just want to chat with me about normal stuff.
The first time that happened I cried like a baby afterward. It was the night of the original airing of All Good Things. That episode was great, but it brings back bad feels.

I...I...I...man, that is tough.
 

twofold

Member
Put up an ad on Craigslist, "casual encounters". Didn't give out any personal info other than my age.

Got a response from someone who claims she's interested. Doesn't provide any info except what town she lives in.

Sent an email asking for her picture.

Got a much longer response. Says she's 23, we can meet at her house or a hotel, but she wants to meet me tonight first in public somewhere (which I can't do anyway).

Says she wants to speak but is too scared to give out her phone # (WTF? Huge red flag there). Links to her profile at some casual dating website. Profile says she's 26 (hmm...) Looks pretty good in her profile pic (though I can only see her face). Try viewing the rest of her pics but it says I have to sign up first. Signed up and tried viewing her pics again, says I need a paid membership to see them (yikes).

Now I'm really worried. Researched the site she linked me to, found a bunch of reviews saying it's a scam site. Apparently most, if not all, of the accounts there are fakes trying to lure people to the site and get them to sign up. A few lines in her second email make it seem like this is the case for her. On the other hand, I'm not sure why she would tell me where she lives and specify a meeting place if this was the case.

I was going to send a response pumping her for more information/demand her phone number, but reading through all of this, it's becoming pretty apparent that I should RUN LIKE HELL and never look back. On the other hand, I really want to get laid. What should I do?

You got tricked by a guy pretending to be a chick. When you signed up to that dating site, they got paid a $3-7 commission. I'm guessing it was true.com? That's the one people usually use for this sort of thing.

Why did they give you a time and meeting place? Well, it makes it feel more legit. You're more likely to sign up for the dating site if you feel the person you're chatting to is a real person.
 

Verano

Reads Ace as Lace. May God have mercy on their soul
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.

oh_gif.gif
 
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.
christ almighty.

and for the guy asking about backpages, I have a friend who utilizes that service for "pro" services and your garden variety hookup. Seems to enjoy it.

And by friend I mean friend, not code for "me".




stop looking at me!
 
CL is lame. Do you have a smartphone? When I found out my phone could find me sex, naturally i wanted in. I met him on that Growlr app. It's like a gay GPS system. You set your location, set your filters like daddies, silverdaddies, leather daddies (my favorite) and then Poof! (Pun intended) there's a list of guys you can fuck in your area. This is the fucking future! I set up a profile with a tasteful portrait I took with the front camera in my phone that I ran through a dozen editing apps on my phone because you know, you want to look good for all the other guys looking fir sex in their phone in the middle of the day on a tuesday. I instantly get a message from this guy “MACK”. He looked like Tom sellick and bill Goldberg rolled into one. we start to chat and decide to meet. Now this app is cool but the location tracking is a little off. For instance it said MACK was 4.6 miles from me when in reality it was more 11. The door opens and I see a more that slightly aged and expanded version of MACK from online. We get to talking. He's a “bear”, drives an 18 wheeler (meaning one of those kias powered by 18 hamsters on wheels) and works construction in the side (set decorator for the community theater). He leads me through the house to the bedroom. The usual bachelor pad. Tammy Fay commemorative plates lining the the hallway, cat smell, Caribbean mardi gras themed bathroom. He had a, and I'm serious, a very masculine four poster bed with billowing fabric. It actually turns out that one part of his profile was true. He was a total top… I laid down, he threw a condom on ME and he hopped on top. Ill tell you - I was balls deep in him so fast that growlr app probably said we were negative 8 inches away from each other.

Hey, have you ever gone to a motel that is a little fancier and they have a pool and jacuzzi setup? You know how the water isn't quite hot enough to feel good and it's kind of slimy? That's exactly how my dick felt at that moment.

So thank you technology for letting me know finding people to have sex with on the middle of a weekday is a bad idea.

You seriously just made my night. Stay my friend forever. lol
 

rjc571

Banned
christ almighty.

and for the guy asking about backpages, I have a friend who utilizes that service for "pro" services and your garden variety hookup. Seems to enjoy it.

And by friend I mean friend, not code for "me".




stop looking at me!

How much did this particular person have to pay, on average?
 

Korosenai

Member
I knew a guy who put up and ad with his girlfriend requesting another girl for a threesome. They actually found 4 or 5 super hot chicks to choose from, and they went through with it too. So yea, Craigslist can work sometimes.
 

RionaaM

Unconfirmed Member
I knew a guy who put up and ad with his girlfriend requesting another girl for a threesome. They actually found 4 or 5 super hot chicks to choose from, and they went through with it too. So yea, Craigslist can work sometimes.
Nice. First I need to put up an ad to get a girlfriend, and then I'll ask her to put up another one for the threesome. Wish me luck guys!
 

PAULINK

I microwave steaks.
This thread has entertained me, this should be where everyone shares their craiglist stories.

Mine is kinda boring, I posted an ad looking for a relationship, and this girl wanted me to pay for her plane tickets so she could meet her parents (and me afterwards lol). This was while I was in korea. Never again.
 
Honestly if you want to meet "normal" people just to hook up, don't use CL or a hookup site. Just use a regular dating site. Usually the people on those sites are lonely and want to hook up anyway.
 

BadAss2961

Member
Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.
lol1gzno.gif
 
I've used CL to meet a couple people; I was thinking of sending this to the anonymous thread but fuck it, it was years ago. The first time I was kind of just fucking around, didn't think it would work; the casual section is dominated by blatantly fake bots and escorts, both of whom I wasn't interested in. I randomly responded to a bunch of messages and asked for pics; I figured most would ignore me considering a chick on CL must get like a billion messages a day. Eventually a chick answered and said she was like 10 minutes away from me. We got to talking, everything seemed fine, I kind of wanted to pull the trigger immediately...but figured I'd ask for a pic. She demanded I send her one. After some haggling I sent her a pic of me and then she sent me one...she was kind of chubby and I could tell that she was hiding weight. But I figured what the hell, it was a Friday and I didn't have any money so why not.

I took a shot of whiskey, told my roommate I was heading downtown, and asked him to call me in one hour. I left my wallet at home, figuring if I got killed maybe no one could identify me long enough for them to dump my body in a neutral place, thus saving my family the shame of learning I died in some chubby chick's house. I took the bus and met her at her place, she opened the door and was actually less chubby than advertised; brunette, hipster glasses, with a joint in her hand. The joint turned me off as I'm not a smoker but I rolled with it. We went to her room, chilled a bit. Eventually she took off her pants and sucked my dick for a minute. Then she asked me if I knew what kegels were. I said no and said "let me show you." She jumped on her bed, took her panties off, put the joint down there...and started...puffing. I was catching a contact high from the kush and pussy smoke in the air, then she told - not asked - me to eat her out. I declined, saying her vagina was too smoky for me to go down on her. Then she was got annoyed and said "no offense but niggas never eat pussy." I let her vagina cool off a bit, then went in. Have you ever sat in a seat immediately after someone else left the seat, and felt that slight rush of warmth up your ass/thighs? That's how my dick felt.

I don't remember much of what happened immediately after we finished, but at one point I woke up and she was sucking me, she looked heavier than I remembered, and there was a dude on the bed too. I jumped up and he started laughing and told me to calm down. He was a petite dude who was obviously gay, and even said "don't worry, I don't date black guys." That made me feel better but I was still confused as fuck. I realized I had been there for 2 hours. I was standing there in my boxers, looking for my pants when she asked again if I wanted to eat her out. I said maybe next time but I have to go pick my brother up from school (a lie). She offered to share another joint with me but I was like nahh...shook the gay guy's hand and left.
 

VASPER

Banned
WTF^^weed smoking vaginas ehh?

Uh, ok. I was feeling experimental a couple years back so I put up an ad on casual encounters. At first all I got was a bunch of bots or some shit but then bang some (I shit you not!) 37 year old woman contacts me (I was 22 at the time) so I was like well...I always wanted to try an older lady. We exchanged emails and pics then she gave me her address which happened to be down the road from where I lived (Creepy) so I went to her place later in the week. I walked to her door, she let me in and we watched tv while her dogs jumped all over me and licked my face, problem with that is I hate dogs but I didn't want to be rude and say "Get your damned dogs off of me" so I played with the mongrels and she smoked some cigs (Another no-no as I don't like women that smoke but once again I didn't want to be rude). So after a couple mins of this she just grabs my face and kisses me with nasty cigarette breath! and says follow me. I proceed to follow her and she heads to the bedroom and pulls out a bunch of kittens (I kid you not) and says I have kittens look(Again I didn't want to be rude so I was like Aww yeah kittens how cute...).I sit down on the bed and she says I'm going to go pee I'll be back and I say ok as I ponder to myself should I run out the front door, however I chose to stay; she comes back and halfway strips then hit's me with this little fun nugget(We have to be quiet because my 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter are in the next room..DA FUQ!) We proceed to do the deed and I was so weirded out that I had the worst performance since Blaine Gabbert last season. After the deed was done I laid there wishing that I could leave(All the while she was smoking more cigs UGH) but she wanted to talk and continue deeding so we did then she said I have to work early and I said ok; got dressed,politely sped walked to the door and she let me out. The days after she proceeded to text me and call me but I never returned her calls or texts.

Nice
 
I've used CL to meet a couple people; I was thinking of sending this to the anonymous thread but fuck it, it was years ago. The first time I was kind of just fucking around, didn't think it would work; the casual section is dominated by blatantly fake bots and escorts, both of whom I wasn't interested in. I randomly responded to a bunch of messages and asked for pics; I figured most would ignore me considering a chick on CL must get like a billion messages a day. Eventually a chick answered and said she was like 10 minutes away from me. We got to talking, everything seemed fine, I kind of wanted to pull the trigger immediately...but figured I'd ask for a pic. She demanded I send her one. After some haggling I sent her a pic of me and then she sent me one...she was kind of chubby and I could tell that she was hiding weight. But I figured what the hell, it was a Friday and I didn't have any money so why not.

I took a shot of whiskey, told my roommate I was heading downtown, and asked him to call me in one hour. I left my wallet at home, figuring if I got killed maybe no one could identify me long enough for them to dump my body in a neutral place, thus saving my family the shame of learning I died in some chubby chick's house. I took the bus and met her at her place, she opened the door and was actually less chubby than advertised; brunette, hipster glasses, with a joint in her hand. The joint turned me off as I'm not a smoker but I rolled with it. We went to her room, chilled a bit. Eventually she took off her pants and sucked my dick for a minute. Then she asked me if I knew what kegels were. I said no and said "let me show you." She jumped on her bed, took her panties off, put the joint down there...and started...puffing. I was catching a contact high from the kush and pussy smoke in the air, then she told - not asked - me to eat her out. I declined, saying her vagina was too smoky for me to go down on her. Then she was got annoyed and said "no offense but niggas never eat pussy." I let her vagina cool off a bit, then went in. Have you ever sat in a seat immediately after someone else left the seat, and felt that slight rush of warmth up your ass/thighs? That's how my dick felt.

I don't remember much of what happened immediately after we finished, but at one point I woke up and she was sucking me, she looked heavier than I remembered, and there was a dude on the bed too. I jumped up and he started laughing and told me to calm down. He was a petite dude who was obviously gay, and even said "don't worry, I don't date black guys." That made me feel better but I was still confused as fuck. I realized I had been there for 2 hours. I was standing there in my boxers, looking for my pants when she asked again if I wanted to eat her out. I said maybe next time but I have to go pick my brother up from school (a lie). She offered to share another joint with me but I was like nahh...shook the gay guy's hand and left.

Sooooooooooo...........

was she cute?
 

MrOogieBoogie

BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
A friend of a friends dated online with a guy from overseas. She was completely head over heels for him and the guy was very suave and had decent looking pics. Things proceed she pays for his ticket to fly to her so they can meet. He gets off the flight and surprise he is on a wheelchair.. Ofcourse he never mentioned this to her, she became a horrible mess afterward.

images
 

Apeopleman

Member
Between Az and PhoenixPause and others, this is the greatest Neogaf thread of all time.

No controversial topic, bannings, or side choosing.

Just stories of young men and experimentation.
 

Hokhoku

Banned
Seriously what are you even thinking?

Pay an escort

If not enough money, go to a whorehouse

If not enough money, use palm
 

UFRA

Member
I've used CL to meet a couple people; I was thinking of sending this to the anonymous thread but fuck it, it was years ago. The first time I was kind of just fucking around, didn't think it would work; the casual section is dominated by blatantly fake bots and escorts, both of whom I wasn't interested in. I randomly responded to a bunch of messages and asked for pics; I figured most would ignore me considering a chick on CL must get like a billion messages a day. Eventually a chick answered and said she was like 10 minutes away from me. We got to talking, everything seemed fine, I kind of wanted to pull the trigger immediately...but figured I'd ask for a pic. She demanded I send her one. After some haggling I sent her a pic of me and then she sent me one...she was kind of chubby and I could tell that she was hiding weight. But I figured what the hell, it was a Friday and I didn't have any money so why not.

I took a shot of whiskey, told my roommate I was heading downtown, and asked him to call me in one hour. I left my wallet at home, figuring if I got killed maybe no one could identify me long enough for them to dump my body in a neutral place, thus saving my family the shame of learning I died in some chubby chick's house. I took the bus and met her at her place, she opened the door and was actually less chubby than advertised; brunette, hipster glasses, with a joint in her hand. The joint turned me off as I'm not a smoker but I rolled with it. We went to her room, chilled a bit. Eventually she took off her pants and sucked my dick for a minute. Then she asked me if I knew what kegels were. I said no and said "let me show you." She jumped on her bed, took her panties off, put the joint down there...and started...puffing. I was catching a contact high from the kush and pussy smoke in the air, then she told - not asked - me to eat her out. I declined, saying her vagina was too smoky for me to go down on her. Then she was got annoyed and said "no offense but niggas never eat pussy." I let her vagina cool off a bit, then went in. Have you ever sat in a seat immediately after someone else left the seat, and felt that slight rush of warmth up your ass/thighs? That's how my dick felt.

I don't remember much of what happened immediately after we finished, but at one point I woke up and she was sucking me, she looked heavier than I remembered, and there was a dude on the bed too. I jumped up and he started laughing and told me to calm down. He was a petite dude who was obviously gay, and even said "don't worry, I don't date black guys." That made me feel better but I was still confused as fuck. I realized I had been there for 2 hours. I was standing there in my boxers, looking for my pants when she asked again if I wanted to eat her out. I said maybe next time but I have to go pick my brother up from school (a lie). She offered to share another joint with me but I was like nahh...shook the gay guy's hand and left.

I lost it at this point.

Let her vagina cool off a bit...lmfao...that's a phrase you don't hear every day.
 

Ri'Orius

Member
As others have mentioned, go on OkCupid or something. Don't even explicitly ask girls for sex (bad idea), just go on a few dates and you're bound to get laid at least once.

Yeah, my anecdotal evidence suggests otherwise. Apparently you need at least some game to get laid on OKC.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom