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[Patrick Bateman]

Fucking piece of shit.


So, I have important papers to print, all copy shops are closed, no friends or relatives are in reach or have a printer. I hate my neighbours.

I had to exchange the ink cartridge of my HP Deskjet F380. I used a compatible one from another company. It fit's correctly, it's not dirty, every foil is off, but my printer just prints blank pages. I switched the printer off, took the usb- and powercable off. The test page is blank, too. If I put the almost empty, original HP ink cartridge back in, it prints (you can still slightly see it).

What the hell can I do?


Please help GAF!

 

[OnkelC]

get a laser printer?

and get important stuff ready on time next time.

 

[pakkit]

Film the action.

It's the only solution.

 

[jts]

 

[shuri]

Fucking piece of shit.


So, I have important papers to print, all copy shops are closed, no friends or relatives are in reach or have a printer. I hate my neighbours.

I had to exchange the ink cartridge of my HP Deskjet F380. I used a compatible one from another company. It fit's correctly, it's not dirty, every foil is off, but my printer just prints blank pages. I switched the printer off, took the usb- and powercable off. The test page is blank, too. If I put the almost empty, original HP ink cartridge back in, it prints (you can still slightly see it).

What the hell can I do?


Please help GAF!

there are software out there to crack the protection on your ink cartridge, the reason why its printint out blanks is that HP has detected that you have a 'counterfeit' cartridge. Or its just that your new cart is DOA.

Still, type in good the brand of your compatible cart with 'unlocker'.

it's just a matter of resetting the security chip on the new ink cartridge.

 

[YYZ]

Film the action.

It's the only solution.

use a bat, no windows.

 

[Evlar]

Buy a Canon.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

get a laser printer?

and get important stuff ready on time next time.

I just got told today that there are importan papers, I didn't use the printer for ages, so I didn't even know that the ink cartridge was empty.

there are software out there to crack the protection on your ink cartridge, the reason why its printint out blanks is that HP has detected that you have a 'counterfeit' cartridge. Or its just that your new cart is DOA.

Still, type in good the brand of your compatible cart with 'unlocker'.

it's just a matter of resetting the security chip on the new ink cartridge.

I only get HP mobile phone unlockers when I type in "HP Deskjet unlocker"

 

[RSTEIN]

Yeah, my HP printer just crapped out on me too. It's a 2210. It gives me the error "remove and check cartridge." Google that and you'll find over 1000 similar complaints. Just get the same message over and over again regardless of what you do. It's 7 years old tho, so it's time to get a new one.

My wife's HP laptop would spontaneously shut off. Went to HP's website. Thousands of posts complaining about spontaneous shut off. HP refused to acknowledge the problem because that would mean doing a recall. Took it to an independent shop to try to fix it and they couldn't come up with anything.

Fuck HP.

 

[lunarworks]

Putting security chips in ink cartridges should be FUCKING ILLEGAL.

 

[Mashing]

For those of you who say "fuck HP": it's all about the model you buy. Some are MUCH, MUCH more reliable than others.

For instance, I bought two HP printers. Deskjet 600C and a 972cxi. They both still work. The 600C is over 10 fucking years old, it still works.

Canon's, Epson's and Richo's are utter shit compared to HP.

Fuck HP for their cartridge prices though.

 

[Dibbz]

Printers fucking suck. My HP fucks around with me so much. I can't even send a fax because I have no ink. WTF does it need the ink for!?!?

Stupid printers.

 

[Zoe]

I only get HP mobile phone unlockers when I type in "HP Deskjet unlocker"

Put in the model number.

 

[LuCkymoON]

Putting security chips in ink cartridges should be FUCKING ILLEGAL.

How do you think they make their money?

 

[Patrick Bateman]

Put in the model number.

I only find this thread. :/

 

[jamesinclair]

It pisses me off that its 2009 and printers are still shit and ink still costs more than the actual printer.

Oh and fuck epson

"weve separated the ink into 6 different colors so if one runs out you only need to replace it and not all of them!"

Sweet!

"oh but if you want to print in black and white and youre out of pink, tough luck"

Fuckers.

 

[Spainkiller]

Email your work to an internet cafe and print it out there. Your avatar is super, btw.

 

[t4ng0]

Well heres the song you need at a time like this.

 

[CTLance]

First, try to unlock the printer (sometimes it's a text file hidden somewhere on you PC, sometimes a registry setting, sometimes you need hacked drivers, sometimes you need an unlocking device - etc pp). Next, try to find out if you can print it out somewhere with an internet connection - Internet cafes have been mentioned already. Depending on your location you may be able to get a printer with ink for as low as 20 bucks, which might be cheaper than replacement ink - only works if you're really desperate though, and don't expect this to print out much and at a high quality.

Rant:
It's the big printer manufacturers and their stupid business model with insanely-priced ink that can go and fuck themselves. Next time you get a printer, don't go for the cheapest one and make damn sure replacement ink is hassle-free and reasonably priced. Personally, I'd go for a Laser printer with an ethernet port (integrated printserver). Those are absolutely platform agnostic and don't even require special drivers most of the time. Plus you can access them from your entire LAN, which is another huge plus IMHO. Oh, and stay away from those all-in-one contraptions. The more they put in there, the more can break - not even to mention driver issues. KISS.

Completely and utterly unrelated: I just realized I need to hug my HL-2070N for its faithful and unrepining manner of work. <3

 

[lunarworks]

How do you think they make their money?

By artificially inflating ink prices and locking-out refill alternatives?

Imagine if they did this with batteries. "Sorry, you can't use just any AA battery, you have to use ours that's virtually identical but costs twice as much."

 

[woodchuck]

*cue Geto Boys

 

[CrunchinJelly]

By artificially inflating ink prices and locking-out refill alternatives?

Imagine if they did this with batteries. "Sorry, you can't use just any AA battery, you have to use ours that's virtually identical but costs twice as much."

It's not like printers are the only devices that make all their money from media.

 

[1-D_FTW]

I just picked up a Brother 2140 Laser printer last week for 49.99 (Plus bought something else and used a 25 off 75 coupon at Staples.) OMG. Why has it taken me so long to make the switch? Amazing print quality and pages fly out?

 

[ccgenerals]

is there some tape on the new cartridge?

 

[CTLance]

I just picked up a Brother 2140 Laser printer last week for 49.99 (Plus bought something else and used a 25 off 75 coupon at Staples.) OMG. Why has it taken me so long to make the switch? Amazing print quality and pages fly out?

Looks like we need a "I love my Brother printer" thread.

 

[Stitch]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV0M9_NwMHY&fmt=18
printers suck

 

[Zoe]

Does it say PC Load Letter when you try to print?

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

 

[rykomatsu]

It pisses me off that its 2009 and printers are still shit and ink still costs more than the actual printer.

Oh and fuck epson

"weve separated the ink into 6 different colors so if one runs out you only need to replace it and not all of them!"

Sweet!

"oh but if you want to print in black and white and youre out of pink, tough luck"

Fuckers.

i think that's when you're using all colors to print black (atleast that setting used to exist back in the late 90's early 00's)...you have to go into properties to have it use only black ink or something like that

 

[Jade Knight 08]

Did you try to delete the printer software (comes with the disc) on the computer and reinstall it again?


It happens to me before cuz it wasn't communicating with the software to the printer.

Some kind of communication port that fizzile out when i tried to install the Linksys Router. You might want to check on the router to see if it's not interfering with it. Then try reinstalling the software again.





****
If none of the above and other posts above me aren't working then it best to get a new printer.

 

[1-D_FTW]

nm

 

[BakedPigeon]

Be honest with us OP, your just broke as a mother fucker and starving and need that quiznos coupon dont ya?

 

[Fun Factor]

Rant:
It's the big printer manufacturers and their stupid business model with insanely-priced ink that can go and fuck themselves. Next time you get a printer, don't go for the cheapest one and make damn sure replacement ink is hassle-free and reasonably priced.

I didn't do this as I thought I would use the printer sparsely, but my HP eats up color ink carts so fast that I can't print 10 pictures without it running out!
The color carts cost $20 themselves & in a few months time I spent more on inks than the cost of the printer itself!

If I knew Canon sold the same quality inks at only $5, I would have never bought an HP.

What's worse for some reason, my HP can't no longer print black properly. If I print a picture, all the colors that involve black will be faded. the black ink cartridge is still nearly half full & I cleaned it. I still don't know if it is the ink or just the crap quality of the HP printer.

 

[BladeWorker]

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

It means the printer doesn't think there's letter-size paper to print with.

 

[Zoe]

It means the printer doesn't think there's letter-size paper to print with.

Thanks for ruining the joke >_>

 

[Patrick Bateman]

So, I went back to the store, gave that ink cartridge back, bought an original one of HP and it still doesn't work...


WTF is this shit. The printer even prints the test page correctly, but not even one page of this fucking PDF...

 

[Alfarif]

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

 

[Chris R]

I doubt I'll ever buy a non brother printer ever again. Stroke of luck discovering them when I had to replace a printer on the job, and the brother was the cheapest black printer we could find... shit was money, no issues ever, cheap to refill and printed out so damn fast.

 

[gray_fox224]

Find a 24 hour Kinkos.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

Deinstalled and reinstalled the HP program, now my printer tells me that the new ink cartridge was empty, but he prints my file.

I won't touch that thing for 10 minutes until it's finished. Fuck this technology.

 

[JRPereira]

Fuck this technology.

Seriously. Shitty printers, ink, and cartridges have killed what was once a glorious world of spiffy and tangible paper documents.

 

[Rewrite]

I've had my HP Printer for about 6 years and it hasn't fucked up on me once.

 

[Rayme]

Well, what a coincidence.

Tonight, we wanted to print out a boarding pass for a flight tomorrow. Turn the printer on. "HEY I NEED MORE YELLOW INK, I GOTS NO YELLOW". Okay, sigh. We don't need this in color anyway, so let's just set it to black & wh-

"HEY I NEED MORE YELLOW INK."

Seriously; it won't let us do anything until it gets its (god forsaken) yellow ink. Even has the audacity to continuously display an explanation that the ink levels are "dangerously low".

Fuck you; I just want to print a BLACK AND WHITE boarding pass.

...I'm assuming that this'll be my last HP printer for a long, long time.

 

[Eteric Rice]

Your first mistake was buying an HP printer.

 

[SpacLock]

Be honest with us OP, your just broke as a mother fucker and starving and need that quiznos coupon dont ya?

,

 

[SIP YEK NOD]

Well, what a coincidence.

Tonight, we wanted to print out a boarding pass for a flight tomorrow. Turn the printer on. "HEY I NEED MORE YELLOW INK, I GOTS NO YELLOW". Okay, sigh. We don't need this in color anyway, so let's just set it to black & wh-

"HEY I NEED MORE YELLOW INK."

Seriously; it won't let us do anything until it gets its (god forsaken) yellow ink. Even has the audacity to continuously display an explanation that the ink levels are "dangerously low".

Fuck you; I just want to print a BLACK AND WHITE boarding pass.

...I'm assuming that this'll be my last HP printer for a long, long time.

epsons do the same thing. they also spit a little big of ink out when they wake themsleves up, i had never printed anything in color, yet after about 3-4 months of using it to photocopy shit from time to time, all 3 colors were low, eventually it wouldn't let me photocopy black and white.

the printer business is so fucked up at this point. i have a 10(ish) year old HP laserjet 4000 with an absurd number or pages printed on one toner cartridge, and it still prints perfectly(says paperjam from time to time, but shit wears out).

 

[wormstrangler]

Looks like we need a "I love my Brother printer" thread.

Brother ink-jets can suck my dick. We have a little one at work. When it runs out of ink, no matter the colour, you can not do anything with it until you put a new one in. You can't even use the menus to change an IP address and shit and don't even think about printing in B&W.

All ink-jet printers can suck my dick. And lasers. Though they're slightly better.

 

[Manabanana]

Rant:
It's the big printer manufacturers and their stupid business model with insanely-priced ink that can go and fuck themselves. Next time you get a printer, don't go for the cheapest one and make damn sure replacement ink is hassle-free and reasonably priced. Personally, I'd go for a Laser printer with an ethernet port (integrated printserver). Those are absolutely platform agnostic and don't even require special drivers most of the time. Plus you can access them from your entire LAN, which is another huge plus IMHO. Oh, and stay away from those all-in-one contraptions. The more they put in there, the more can break - not even to mention driver issues. KISS.

Alternately, never buy ink. $35 printers come with ink, and that's cheaper than replacing the cartridges. Just buy crap-ass printers and boot 'em to the curb when they run dry.

 

[CTLance]

Brother ink-jets can suck my dick.(...)

Aw. That sucks. I can't complain about my Laserprinter at all. It has withstood some serious dust and abuse without so much as getting a paper jam once. Love that little machine. Sits on the network, provides its services to Linux, Mac, and Windows machines alike without a need for custom drivers (although they do offer software packages). It's generally error-tolerant, wellbehaved and inconspicuous. Perfect hardware.

All ink-jet printers can suck my dick. And lasers. Though they're slightly better.

Uh... that leaves ... what? Dot-matrix printers?

Seriously though, consumer-level Ink-based printers can go away, that much I agree with. The ink is ridiculously expensive, the printers are susceptible to getting their printheads congested if not in use, and most of the time the cartridges won't provide much ink anyway. The only thing they may have going for them is the color/photo print option, and most of the time that shit's prohibitively expensive (and local copyshops and even supermarket chains have started to provide photo print services for a fraction of the cost anyway).

...and don't even get me started on software. These humongous installations with non-standardized GUIs and bloatware-like service modules running permanently can die out for all I care. A printer should print. No need for an "experience".

 

[Patrick Bateman]

Oh DAMN. I never knew that laser printers are so cheap in price. What do you think about the Brother DCP-7030? It has a scanner and all that fancy stuff.

 

[1-D_FTW]

Oh DAMN. I never knew that laser printers are so cheap in price. What do you think about the Brother DCP-7030? It has a scanner and all that fancy stuff.

Pretty much looks like it's identical to the 2140 I just bought for 49.99 minus the scanner options (even uses same toner cartridges.) I love my no-frills model. But read up on the "tape mod" if you buy one. By putting a little tape over the holes in the cartridge, you disable the optical scanner and supposedly double the page count from your toner. Newegg also had the high yield toner cartridge on sale (expired) for 44.99 - 40% with coupon.

Here's a video demonstrating with/without tape:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPCGZZIdXyM