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Is it wrong to tell a SO you need more from the relationship before marriage?

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JB1981

Member
Spent the weekend finishing the move into my new place. My sister-in-law and her cousin helped me rearrange and decorate a lot of stuff. I'm so grateful to them that they were there to help. Sunday was trick or treat day and I spent all day with my little nieces and nephews. This made me miss my ex's child something fierce. I had quite a bit to drink with my brothers and stupidly headed over to her place. I stopped in and tried to speak to her once again about possibly compromising, see if there was something -anything- we could work on together. She looked at me like she didn't even know me. Her eyes were just dead inside. Not even a hint of emotion of affection toward me. I got really upset in that moment and started frigging crying almost uncontrollably. She has given me that dead look before. She seemed so crystal clear about her decision to no longer want anything to do with me that if just hit me like a ton of bricks. The conversation ended with her telling me that I should leave. It was a catastrophe. This relationship was never going to end any other way was it? She said I am sorry but after what you have put me through the last few months with not being sure, I just don't feel the same way about you anymore. We don't want the same things and this whole experience has just ruined everything. It can't be repaired. It's just dead.

I blocked her on FB and defriended her family. I still haven't deleted her # from my phone though. I guess I really am a glutton for punishment
 

Mr. Robot

Member
Spent the weekend finishing the move into my new place. My sister-in-law and her cousin helped me rearrange and decorate a lot of stuff. I'm so grateful to them that they were there to help. Sunday was trick or treat day and I spent all day with my little nieces and nephews. This made me miss my ex's child something fierce. I had quite a bit to drink with my brothers and stupidly headed over to her place. I stopped in and tried to speak to her once again about possibly compromising, see if there was something -anything- we could work on together. She looked at me like she didn't even know me. Her eyes were just dead inside. Not even a hint of emotion of affection toward me. I got really upset in that moment and started frigging crying almost uncontrollably. She has given me that dead look before. She seemed so crystal clear about her decision to no longer want anything to do with me that if just hit me like a ton of bricks. The conversation ended with her telling me that I should leave. It was a catastrophe. This relationship was never going to end any other way was it? She said I am sorry but after what you have put me through the last few months with not being sure, I just don't feel the same way about you anymore. We don't want the same things and this whole experience has just ruined everything. It can't be repaired. It's just dead.

I blocked her on FB and defriended her family. I still haven't deleted her # from my phone though. I guess I really am a glutton for punishment

READ THIS: STOP PUTTING UP WITH THAT SHIT AND VALUE YOURSELF.

I didn't read the whole thread just a few of your posts and can tell you that you are better off single.
Or go find someone that shares your mindset, or can work something if they don't share it.
You sound like you just want to be her savior.
When you start going out and meet different people you will get it.
Thats not what a relationship is indicative off.
 
Sorry to hear that JB, sounds rough. You gotta cut her out completely though, delete her number, and if possible on your phone, block it too.
 

Peltz

Member
OP,
Imagine your relationship as a beautiful china plate. If you break it once, you can put it back together with some care and effort. If you break it a second time, you can still put it back together but it takes a lot of extra time and care. But if you break it again and again and again, eventually you end up with so many pieces that you can’t put it back together. And no matter how much you liked that plate, you’re better off going and finding another one.

Source:

https://markmanson.net/break-up

It's a good article on breaking up. You're good dude. You'll be fine after a little while.

Just remember, everyone goes through painful breakups. I had one myself rather recently. It sucks, but your problems aren't really unique. And it's actually okay for things to suck sometimes. Remember that.

Just don't feed the negativity by getting down on yourself.
 
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