A bit offtopic, but maybe the op has something about it. Gives him a better perspective maybe about stuff.
I talked a lot with people like the OP, people that look down on themselves. think the world is a place of nightmares because they feel incredible bad about themselves and everything they see is negative.
The reality in my world vision is different. The world isn't a nightmare, its a game. its fun, it has endless opportunity's forever. The questions is just when do you grab on and start to move forwards.
I have been in a dark spot when my mother died from cancer, and i had to fed for myself. my world crumbled, my long term vision got destroyed overnight as i knew i could die the same way if it happened to me why even bother, thought the world was a dark hole. I realized far to late that its your own brain that makes these assumptions and reality and the funny fact is that realization started when i got in a bike accident and through welp this is it, nobody cares anyway and suddenly the whole world stopped in front of me even a group of people i had no respect for and always looked down on ( like i said before, i have a god complex i see everybody as pets ), they all stopped they all helped even in the hospital i saw people show up out of nowhere, hell some people called up how i was doing i never spoke with since forever and asked if i wanted to come by sometime after i recovered.
I realized one thing. Its not me vs the world. Its me vs me. And u realize u are a god in your own world of perception.
Your brain is your enemy. The matrix is real. And this is not a joke. I am dead serious. Everybody's world = different. U all live in different worlds of different assumptions different experiences which creates there own reality's in different time periods even while we share the same space, u think different things about a object we see in the same space. Why? because experiences.
For example.
How do you look at this picture? OP will see a depressed person that's a loser. Why? because that's what he trained his brain to see. U know this by how he writes, "i hate myself".
What do i see? I see a guy that got a good day of working done as he looks tired and just wants to get home to sleep so he can go beast mode tomorrow again or prepares for some tournament.
How does a fat guy look at him? fuck i wish i was him, my life sucks.
The guy didn't change, the location didn't change what changes is the person that looks at it. the difference is each world perception.
Once u realize this, u realize that your brain is your biggest enemy and that u need to train it. The fact he look down on himself is not because of people around him, its because of his own perception of what the world looks like.
I think about things a lot.
I see colors, i have no clue if you see the same colors, i see a tree in my garden, a tree u will never see in your life. yet i see it. It changes me, different from you. I see people live there lives around me all with there own biases there own idea's there own goals.
U can see a loser here, can't even afford a car, da faq are you biking on. pathetic.
Reality, he rules trade in europe, rules a country, and sits at meetings with every world leader + is buddy of a king. There is nobody more successful in our country then he is. Doesn't look like it does it? Why? because your perception that's getting created by experiences.
U will realize soon after, the world isn't your enemy, the world is a game and if you stop at level 1, u will never reach 2.
Life is short. the clock keeps ticking. that tree in front of your house saw your uncle die, even while he didn't though much of that tree when he grow up, it outlived him.
He's 30 years old, its his prime. he can do whatever the fuck he wants. Lots of people out there that will support you, lots of people that will be motivated by you. Become better, become a example and finally become a motivator.
I motivated tons of people, i am a extreme positive person, i bend there world views into positivity over night. How? its all perception. Nothing is bad everything is good. U lost your house? doesn't matter, it just means u got the experience of owning one, now u can move on and get back there way quicker then before. Nothing is negative everything is positive.Bad experiences = experience = good.
Your bike breaks? good shit, U trained so hard that thing just snapped imagine how far U moved forwards to even be able to do this. Instead of thinking why did it break the universe hates me, nothing can go well fuck me.
Hell i even motivated my own mother when she was dying on the most horrible way from cancer that ate her brain away day by day. how? atleast u can say goodbye to the people u love in all ways u want, if you hitted a tree with a car and died instantly u couldn't do that. so u actually got lucky.
Another thing i realized faster then anything else is that people don't even live in the same time in space, animals don't, tree's don't nothing does, A girl that's 30 year old will only think about one thing kids before its to late. She will wake up, see her friends have relationships on facebook and get kids get married + travel and thinks of herself as a loser. When she looks at a guy she doesn't look at boyfriend material she thinks of her future husband + financial security + make daddy proud + kids + growing old + doing stuff like travel ( she gives zero fuck if you are a foto model or not ). while that guy just wants a girlfriend with a nice ass., the girl is already 3 stages further and basically is already a decade further in time over you. Still same age.
Most of my firends that are ugly as fuck, got hot girlfriends why? they give all the above.
If you think your world as guy is bad. Wait until u start to realize how shit it would have been if you are a chick that's 30+ years old, can't get a relationship for shit and see's no husband material, u get older and competition with younger girls becomes harder and harder, parents nagging because they wanna see her get kids every fucking time they call / visit / birthday.. Nobody interested in you besides a bunch of dick pick losers with no future and the clock never stops ticking.
U know the saying, its always greener on the other side of the hill. Yet it never is.
I spoke with a italian guy once, that was my boss at the time. he was rebooting a company he bought up in my country in order to make it succesful and pushed me further while he didn't had too. he told me one thing.
If you can't make it in your own country, u will not make it in another country. The reason he ruled over my world was because he was more motivated then i was nothing else another thing he said at one point.
He was successful, had millions on his bank account. I was nothing. Yet he went bankrupt. he slept on my couch one day because he couldn't go anywhere else as he called up. he moved a day after back to italia. I sended him a christmas package with foods etc that year. why? i was thinking about him and his wife and kid, and was like lets send one.
5 years later, i got a letter from him. he basically stated that package pulled him forwards when he was at its lowest as his wife left him. with a huge story about how he was doing. that 50 bucks of mine, was probably worth millions for him.
Took me zero efforts, as it was just another christmas package as i sended like 30 out anyway. It made the world of a difference for him.
Why did i do this? experience. We are all people with feelings no matter what amount of cash u got on your bank account or what grade u think u are in. I learned this from my mother when she rented a house of hers for free to a neighbor that was in a dire spot. And years later she got a message from that person, that the only reason that person was still walking on the earth was because of that.
