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[I'm new be nice]

Welcome to the NeoGAF LGBT+ Community Thread!
​

In this thread all voices are welcome; whether Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgender, Straight, or however you need to be addressed. If you're questioning certain aspects of yourself, looking to learn, or just want to talk, this is the place for you!

​

Anything from:

• Art
• Love
• Family
• Work
• Fashion
• Fear
• Passion

Terms

• Agender: Denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a particular gender.
• Asexual: A person who generally does not feel sexual attraction or desire to any group of people. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy.
• Bisexual: A person who is attracted to both people of their own gender and another gender. Also called "bi".
• Cisgender: Types of gender identity where an individual's experience of their own gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth.
• Gay: A person who is attracted primarily to members of the same sex. Although it can be used for any sex (e.g. gay man, gay woman, gay person), "lesbian" is sometimes the preferred term for women who are attracted to women.
• Gender expression: A term which refers to the ways in which we each manifest masculinity or femininity. It is usually an extension of our "gender identity", our innate sense of being male, female, etc. Each of us expresses a particular gender every day - by the way we style our hair, select our clothing, or even the way we stand. Our appearance, speech, behavior, movement, and other factors signal that we feel - and wish to be understood - as masculine or feminine, or as a man or a woman.
• Gender identity: The sense of "being" male, female, genderqueer, agender, etc. For some people, gender identity is in accord with physical anatomy. For transgender people, gender identity may differ from physical anatomy or expected social roles. It is important to note that gender identity, biological sex, and sexual orientation are separate and that you cannot assume how someone identifies in one category based on how they identify in another category.
• Genderqueer: A term which refers to individuals or groups who "queer" or problematize the hegemonic notions of sex, gender and desire in a given society. Genderqueer people possess identities which fall outside the widely accepted sexual binary (i.e. "men" and "women"). Genderqueer may also refer to people who identify as both transgender AND queer, i.e. individuals who challenge both gender and sexuality regimes and see gender identity and sexual orientation as overlapping and interconnected.
• Intersex: A person whose sexual anatomy or chromosomes do not fit with the traditional markers of "female" and "male". For example: people born with both "female" and "male" anatomy (penis, testicles, vagina, uterus); people born with XXY.
• Lesbian: A woman who is primarily attracted to other women.
• Pansexual: Pansexuals have the capability of attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. A pansexual could be open to someone who is male, female, transgender, interex, or agendered/genderqueer.
• Transgender: This term has many definitions. It is frequently used as an umbrella term to refer to all people who do not identify with their assigned gender at birth or the binary gender system. This includes transsexuals, cross-dressers, genderqueer, drag kings, drag queens, two-spirited people, and others. Some transgender people feel they exist not within one of the two standard gender categories, but rather somewhere between, beyond, or outside of those two genders.

Please Note: It is very important to respect people's desired self-identifications. One should never assume another person's identity based on that person's appearance. It is always best to ask people how they identify, including what pronouns they prefer, and to respect their wishes.

Food for Thought

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“I still see my hands coming off the railing,” he said. As he crossed the chord in flight, Baldwin recalls, “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”

The only requirements for posting are an Open Mind and an Open Heart. Please be respectful of others opinions, and always maintain basic human decency.

 

[I'm new be nice]

I’ll start by talking a little bit about myself to get the ball rolling.

I grew up in a small rural Saskatchewan town out on the prairies, the town had a population of around 500 people. I spent the majority of my life being the only person I knew who was like me, and I kept it to myself until I moved away after highschool. At those times it felt like I was harboring some kind of deep dark secret, like Dexter or something. It was a very strange and scary time.

The town I moved to afterwards had about 33,000 people, which in retrospect is still pretty small, but to me it was like the promised land! I immediately came out and it was both the hardest and best decision I ever made. There were no Apps, and the dating sites were barren, but I spoke openly about myself and I was eventually able to meet my first boyfriend.

This was about 10 years ago, and although that town was MUCH better, it still had a very country feel to it (which I actually love, btw, so much drinkin!!). I was always the first gay person most people there had met, and in a strange way I felt like I had a certain kind of responsibility to make a good impression on them because of that. It was an additional layer of stress I had to deal with, but I took the challenge upon myself regardless and accepted the responsibility, and always did my best to hold out a helping hand. At that period in time, I found the best approach to changing minds was simply to be the best person I could be, and to cast away any sort of anger or resentment I might have felt over the years of loneliness I endured in my small town.

Now the world is a different place, and i’ve moved myself into a larger city, and kids 10 years my younger seem so much more comfortable with themselves than even I do! It makes me a little jealous, actually! But it warms my heart to see them be so free.

I’ve been with NeoGAF since around 2012, although I lurked much earlier like i’m sure a lot of you did, and I was very sad to see the LGBT+ Community go during the split. The Community always seemed so organized and together, I told myself I was a lone-wolf, but the truth might actually be that I was kind of intimidated by how together they all seemed. I can’t exactly say I have everything figured out, and i’m sure they don’t feel they do either, but I certainly never saw myself being the one to lead the charge here.

But I really believe in what NeoGAF can offer, I really enjoyed how lively and open things were when I joined, and it feels like we might be able to get back to that again now. At those times, and in this time now, it feels like people can ask questions without the fear of being berated, and I really think that’s a great thing. It feels like a chance to actually change minds, and actually make a difference, rather than place a bitter resentment into the hearts of those who might still need convincing that we are just people like everyone else, trying our best to get by, and hurting no one.

I’m not expecting much of a response right now, but I hope in time some of you will come join me, and maybe we can be frenemies.

In terms of Music… The album is a little old now, it came out 4 years ago (boy does the time fly!), but I wanted to quickly talk about Against Me!’s album Transgender Dysphoria Blues. This album was exactly what I needed at the time, I was really starting to explore myself and I felt really confused and vulnerable, and I remember just pounding a ton of beer in my place alone listening to this, and every track was just so fucking powerful, it was just the most amazing release I had ever felt. I went and saw them in Saskatoon, and I got so hammered, the mosh pit was fucking wild, and it was literally the best show I have ever seen. The crowd was so fucking into it. I didn’t take a single photo, but my buddy did for me, and i’ve cherished this photo like a motherfucker.

Best show of my entire life.

IN FACT, just this week I decided to stop ordering makeup online and be a man!! I put on the very same Against Me! T-shirt I got from that fucking concert, I walked into that stores aisle with the most “fuck you” kind of pride i’ve ever mustered, and I bought that shit! And it felt good.

Oh, also I had a scary sexual encounter recently, and it got me thinking about protecting myself a little better in general, and apparently they just give out Prep (the anti-HIV med) for free here in Saskatchewan! I’ve got the clinic posted against my fridge, I just need to get down there. I can’t believe I can just get it for free. Don’t know why I can’t get free dental… Even the HIV test is like instant. I used to have to wait 2 weeks to find out, and I’d have to drive an hour down to the clinic from my town to get it.

It’s fuckin insane how much it has all advanced. Like, once I take this i’ll never have to worry about it again… it’s just crazy…

 

[pimentel1]

...

 

[LegendOfKage]

But I really believe in what NeoGAF can offer, I really enjoyed how lively and open things were when I joined, and it feels like we might be able to get back to that again now. At those times, and in this time now, it feels like people can ask questions without the fear of being berated, and I really think that’s a great thing. It feels like a chance to actually change minds, and actually make a difference, rather than place a bitter resentment into the hearts of those who might still need convincing that we are just people like everyone else, trying our best to get by, and hurting no one.

Beautifully said.

I was raised in a conservative Christian household, but also with the awareness of the need for the separation of church and state. I grew up believing that all alternative sexuality was wrong. As social acceptance began to change, so did my questioning of my opinions.

Ultimately I ended up being very supportive of LGBT issues, while also empathetic and understanding towards the people who still feel the way I used to. I had two moments of clarity responsible for my change in opinion, both of which were thought processes that I arrived at on my own. I think that helped, because I didn't feel I was being condescended to with some "you're wrong, and here is why" challenge of deeply held beliefs.

1) I'm a male. If I woke up as a woman, but I still was attracted to women, would I have sex with men anyway because it was the "right" thing to do? Or would I rather naturally be a lesbian?

2) If someone asked me as a Christian if I supported gay marriage, for years (like many Democrats and Republicans alike), I would have said no. I would have said marriage is a religious ceremony between a man and a woman. But if you would have asked do I think blasphemy should be illegal, I would have said no and stressed the importance of freedom of speech. To me, those positions are in conflict. Either we want a nation of personal freedom, or we want a nation where law is determined by faith.

But having been there myself years ago, I will say that hating and being angry at those who have issues with LGBT people is a disservice to the cause of changing hearts and minds. It may feel good in the moment, but it changes nothing. People say "I shouldn't have to tolerate your intolerance," and I can understand that, but hate just builds on more hate. And if you do tolerate some level of intolerance, if you view people as more than just their hostility towards people who are different, I think it makes it harder for them to hate you, and harder for them to see you only in terms of your differences.

Some of what I wrote just reminded me of a video I saw several months ago, concerning a woman who went through her own transformation thanks to people respectfully challenging her views. I'd definitely recommend it.



Open dialog is crucial for bringing about actual change, which is why I'm so glad to see NeoGAF in the state that it's in today.

 

[Michele]

I'm surprised this thread still exist, lol. No offense meant. I do know what gay, lesbian and transgender means, but I don't know what bisexual or straight means. Still, I don't have anything that makes me belong in that group.

Actually, I've never understood what bisexual meant. Can anyone explain? Please try to go easy on me

 

[LegendOfKage]

I'm surprised this thread still exist, lol. No offense meant. I do know what gay, lesbian and transgender means, but I don't know what bisexual or straight means. Still, I don't have anything that makes me belong in that group.

Actually, I've never understood what bisexual meant. Can anyone explain? Please try to go easy on me

Bi means two. A unicycle has one wheel. A bicycle has two wheels. A tricycle has three wheels.

So bisexual refers to being sexually attracted to both men and women. Straight just refers to people who aren't gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. So that would be men who are attracted to women, or women who are attracted to men.

 

[AngularSaxophone]

Beautifully said.

I was raised in a conservative Christian household, but also with the awareness of the need for the separation of church and state. I grew up believing that all alternative sexuality was wrong. As social acceptance began to change, so did my questioning of my opinions.

Ultimately I ended up being very supportive of LGBT issues, while also empathetic and understanding towards the people who still feel the way I used to. I had two moments of clarity responsible for my change in opinion, both of which were thought processes that I arrived at on my own. I think that helped, because I didn't feel I was being condescended to with some "you're wrong, and here is why" challenge of deeply held beliefs.

1) I'm a male. If I woke up as a woman, but I still was attracted to women, would I have sex with men anyway because it was the "right" thing to do? Or would I rather naturally be a lesbian?

2) If someone asked me as a Christian if I supported gay marriage, for years (like many Democrats and Republicans alike), I would have said no. I would have said marriage is a religious ceremony between a man and a woman. But if you would have asked do I think blasphemy should be illegal, I would have said no and stressed the importance of freedom of speech. To me, those positions are in conflict. Either we want a nation of personal freedom, or we want a nation where law is determined by faith.

But having been there myself years ago, I will say that hating and being angry at those who have issues with LGBT people is a disservice to the cause of changing hearts and minds. It may feel good in the moment, but it changes nothing. People say "I shouldn't have to tolerate your intolerance," and I can understand that, but hate just builds on more hate. And if you do tolerate some level of intolerance, if you view people as more than just their hostility towards people who are different, I think it makes it harder for them to hate you, and harder for them to see you only in terms of your differences.

Some of what I wrote just reminded me of a video I saw several months ago, concerning a woman who went through her own transformation thanks to people respectfully challenging her views. I'd definitely recommend it.



Open dialog is crucial for bringing about actual change, which is why I'm so glad to see NeoGAF in the state that it's in today.

You’re mixing divine law with whatever we’d call what we’ve been given by the world. You may as well call it lawlessness. God doesn’t hate anyone, he hates lawlessness. Rules are given with reason and God’s laws are there to protect humankind from needless suffering but we don’t listen anyway and suffer for it until submitting to truth.

 

[I'm new be nice]

Ever watch the first episode of The Last O.G.? You’ll probably get a kick out of it.

Yeeeeep....... definitely how i'm feeling atm.

.

Absolutely dude,

I think part of it is that I also came from that background too, and before I understood that what I was was considered gay, I just assumed the same, that it's wrong.

Once I put two and two together, and it all finally clicked, I felt like I had a pretty good base for how I could relate to others about it. 90% of the time it seemed like it was just that people had no reference point. Once they have one, it's like... yep. You're just another person.

I'm surprised this thread still exist, lol. No offense meant.

Rawr rawr!

Nah, I know there's like no one here haha. That's okay! Like I said, i'm a bit of a lone wolf anyways. I don't mind occasionally bumping this thread with a little anecdote of something I think is interesting just to let people know it's here. It seems like the site is continuing to grow in general.

 

[camelCase]

What are the acceptable terms to call trans ppl these days?

Back like 10 years ago, it was fine to say shemale/tranny/ts. Nowadays, unless I'm courting an escort (which I don't .. lol) most of these are taboo. What is the deal on this.

 

[I'm new be nice]

What are the acceptable terms to call trans ppl these days?

Back like 10 years ago, it was fine to say shemale/tranny/ts. Nowadays, unless I'm courting an escort (which I don't .. lol) most of these are taboo. What is the deal on this.

I've included a list of terms in the OP

 

[camelCase]

I've included a list of terms in the OP

You gave a very detailed breakdown of the various incarnations of transexuality but you didn't really answer my q. In my experience most of the things I mentioned are acceptable. From my own experience, of course

 

[I'm new be nice]

Shemale is considered offensive, as is Tranny. Those are both derogatory terms.

The list is your best bet if in doubt. If it's not on there, you'd best ask the person yourself what they feel comfortable with before using a term you're unsure of.

I've had very close friends use terms that are considered derogatory towards gay men which I thought was acceptable, but we had a very close relationship. If it was somebody I didn't know very well it might give me a moment of pause. Sometimes it can be a little weird if somebody you don't know starts just tossing those terms around, you never know with some people. There are definitely still haters out there.

 

[Tumle]

You’re mixing divine law with whatever we’d call what we’ve been given by the world. You may as well call it lawlessness. God doesn’t hate anyone, he hates lawlessness. Rules are given with reason and God’s laws are there to protect humankind from needless suffering but we don’t listen anyway and suffer for it until submitting to truth.

Good thing there is no god, or what you said might have been true..
Why did you come into this topic to preach?
You have your believes and that’s fine with me.. coming into lgbt+ thread and in a backhanded way say they are wrong for being who they are. Is not..

Ask questions if you are curious, argue your points with fact, not how you feel or what you believe or stay away..

 

[EviLore]

Thanks to I'm new be nice for stepping up here and for a great OP and bravery with sharing personal experiences. Please bear in mind that this is a community thread, and we're on the same page on the moderation side of things as the guidelines in the OP. Be respectful, decent, and tolerant with each other. If your views are incompatible with, like, the core science of LGBT orientations/identities then this thread is probably not the thread for you. If you have a chip on your shoulder, likewise. If you would like to debate something like the current medical science or DSM classifications for trans issues, a separate thread would be the spot for that sort of debate, as, again, this is intended as a community thread.

I'll stay out of the way from here.

 

[The Elite]

What are the acceptable terms to call trans ppl these days?

Back like 10 years ago, it was fine to say shemale/tranny/ts. Nowadays, unless I'm courting an escort (which I don't .. lol) most of these are taboo. What is the deal on this.

I get the impression most of those terms have always been offensive to the transgender community to some extent so they were used rather liberally. There is dialogue and communication with the community now that lets us understand what they would rather not be called.

 

[Corderlain]

Shouldn't this go in the offtopic community subforum?

 

[The Elite]

Shouldn't this go in the offtopic community subforum?

Honestly, OT Community is pretty much dead outside of one thread right now. Maybe moving/re-creating some of those threads and letting them breathe in regular OT for a long while until they attract a good amount of regular users is the best bet.

 

[down 2 orth]

Great job OP!

I think I've been to that town in Sask. or one just like it. I tell people it's like living on the moon.

 

[Corderlain]

Honestly, OT Community is pretty much dead outside of one thread right now. Maybe moving/re-creating some of those threads and letting them breathe in regular OT for a long while until they attract a good amount of regular users is the best bet.

Why have the board if it's not going to be used?

Alright, I have a question. I'm sure this is going to offend someone somehow and I'll try to be as easy as possible here. Lgbt+ people make up less than 1% of the population of the US. Why should we cater to you? Why should we go out of our way to call you your preferred pronouns or use the correct non-label ala non-binary or cis or whatever? Any time you see someone uncomfortable with the whole lgbtq field they're demonized but you all have an extremely hatefilled slice of your community that is not addressed. You have had it rough that is certain. However, all peoples have had it rough at some time and only the selected outrage group of the month seem to get recognition for that.

 

[AngularSaxophone]

Good thing there is no god, or what you said might have been true..
Why did you come into this topic to preach?
You have your believes and that’s fine with me.. coming into lgbt+ thread and in a backhanded way say they are wrong for being who they are. Is not..

Ask questions if you are curious, argue your points with fact, not how you feel or what you believe or stay away..

Hardly backhanded. And if believing in God is just a belief, believing you can transform yourself into whatever you wish is a belief as well. If it’s all the same, no one has to believe in either. But that’s not the case now is it.

 

[Straight Edge]

Hardly backhanded. And if believing in God is just a belief, believing you can transform yourself into whatever you wish is a belief as well. If it’s all the same, no one has to believe in either. But that’s not the case now is it.

Go shit up the Christianity thread. You’re off topic here.

 

[Tumle]

Hardly backhanded. And if believing in God is just a belief, believing you can transform yourself into whatever you wish is a belief as well. If it’s all the same, no one has to believe in either. But that’s not the case now is it.

So if an apple is an apple, an orange must also be an apple?

 

[AngularSaxophone]

Go shit up the Christianity thread. You’re off topic here.

I’m more “heavy handed” there than I am here and look at the responses. This is a place for discussion isn’t it? Are there any LGBT Christians in this thread? I’ve spoken to Ailynn and she actually seems sincere.

 

[Straight Edge]

I’m more “heavy handed” there than I am here and look at the responses. This is a place for discussion isn’t it? Are there any LGBT Christians in this thread? I’ve spoken to Ailynn and she actually seems sincere.

Did you read Evilore’s post. Are your views incompatible with the core science of LGBT?

 

[Tumle]

Why have the board if it's not going to be used?

Alright, I have a question. I'm sure this is going to offend someone somehow and I'll try to be as easy as possible here. Lgbt+ people make up less than 1% of the population of the US. Why should we cater to you? Why should we go out of our way to call you your preferred pronouns or use the correct non-label ala non-binary or cis or whatever? Any time you see someone uncomfortable with the whole lgbtq field they're demonized but you all have an extremely hatefilled slice of your community that is not addressed. You have had it rough that is certain. However, all peoples have had it rough at some time and only the selected outrage group of the month seem to get recognition for that.

Why should you do that to any person?
I think you live in a free country and can address any person the way you wish.. you can call people ”dipshits” if you want to.. but I’m not sure people would take to kindly to that.. if a person ask you to call them “lord fluffy the 3rd” it’s up to you if you want to respect that.. also you are bundeling in gay people and the rest with what a minority of transsexual people wants..
Also why the concern with where this topic is posted? Does it break any board rules?
Your only two contribution to this thread has been Showing where you coming from.. and you talk about some parts of the lgbtq+ Being hostile? Lol

 

[Corderlain]

Why should you do that to any person?
I think you live in a free country and can address any person the way you wish.. you can call people ”dipshits” if you want to.. but I’m not sure people would take to kindly to that.. if a person ask you to call them “lord fluffy the 3rd” it’s up to you if you want to respect that.. also you are bundeling in gay people and the rest with what a minority of transsexual people wants..
Also why the concern with where this topic is posted? Does it break any board rules?
Your only two contribution to this thread has been Showing where you coming from.. and you talk about some parts of the lgbtq+ Being hostile? Lol

A clerical question is a clerical question especially considering the admin of the forum already commented here.

Additionally, I'm not grouping anyone. The LGBT+ label/moniker is. I don't really have anything against gays or trans people I just understand the logic behind catering to a small demographic. Please don't put words in my mouth especially when I already said I wasn't trying to offend. The topic is for all types under the umbrella so I posed questions for different types of folks.

 

[AngularSaxophone]

Did you read Evilore’s post. Are your views incompatible with the core science of LGBT?

I don’t know what the “core science” of LGBT is so I wouldn’t know. Another question i’d like to as for anyone who’d like to answer for my own understanding, is what led you to be LGBT? Some say they’ve felt different from as far back as they remember while others say they simply have a preference for the same sex or what have you. I’d like to know if there’s a deeper reasoning at play. Actual conversation can lead to a better understanding.

 

[Tumle]

A clerical question is a clerical question especially considering the admin of the forum already commented here.

Additionally, I'm not grouping anyone. The LGBT+ label/moniker is. I don't really have anything against gays or trans people I just understand the logic behind catering to a small demographic. Please don't put words in my mouth especially when I already said I wasn't trying to offend. The topic is for all types under the umbrella so I posed questions for different types of folks.

Sorry I may have been a little rash.. but I don’t understand the concern of what a minority of a minority wants to be called, when it’s not going to be mandatory.. it will vary from person to person how they want to be addressed and I’m sure it’s the same in the trans community
I’m sure they are not going to bite your head off if you are polite respectful

I do understand that trans people don’t want to be called tranny or shemale or anything that can make them seem less human..

 

[Cauliflower of Love]

Why have the board if it's not going to be used?

Alright, I have a question. I'm sure this is going to offend someone somehow and I'll try to be as easy as possible here. Lgbt+ people make up less than 1% of the population of the US. Why should we cater to you? Why should we go out of our way to call you your preferred pronouns or use the correct non-label ala non-binary or cis or whatever? Any time you see someone uncomfortable with the whole lgbtq field they're demonized but you all have an extremely hatefilled slice of your community that is not addressed. You have had it rough that is certain. However, all peoples have had it rough at some time and only the selected outrage group of the month seem to get recognition for that.

It's called decency.

 

[Corderlain]

It's called decency.

Thanks for proving my point man

 

[Cauliflower of Love]

Thanks for proving my point man

What point?

Lgbt+ people make up less than 1% of the population of the US. Why should we cater to you?

This point?

How fucking hard is it to use a different pronoun?

It's deliberate and antagonist to misgender people.

However, all peoples have had it rough at some time and only the selected outrage group of the month seem to get recognition for that.

When people throw the word privilege around at you it's because you don't actually know what rough is.

 

[Corderlain]

What point?



This point?

How fucking hard is it to use a different pronoun?

It's deliberate and antagonist to misgender people.



When people throw the word privilege around at you it's because you don't actually know what rough is.

No, you're the hatefilled slice I mentioned.

 

[Cauliflower of Love]

No, you're the hatefilled slice I mentioned.

is this "be tolerant to the intolerance"?

 

[LegendOfKage]

Honestly, OT Community is pretty much dead outside of one thread right now. Maybe moving/re-creating some of those threads and letting them breathe in regular OT for a long while until they attract a good amount of regular users is the best bet.

Once the forum gets restructured with the politics forum, I'd be fine with GAF doing away with the sub-forums altogether, unless / until this place gets busy enough to the point where having sub-forums makes sense again. Then again, maybe the staff has something better in mind.

 

[timberger]

unless / until this place gets busy enough to the point where having sub-forums makes sense again.

Don't hold your breath.

 

[I'm new be nice]

Why should we cater to you? Why should we go out of our way to call you your preferred pronouns or use the correct non-label ala non-binary or cis or whatever? Any time you see someone uncomfortable with the whole lgbtq field they're demonized but you all have an extremely hatefilled slice of your community that is not addressed. You have had it rough that is certain. However, all peoples have had it rough at some time and only the selected outrage group of the month seem to get recognition for that.

I actually agree with some of the sentiment here. I've had friends who have had a much rougher life than me. I grew up in a pretty great household, and while there is some tension in my family because of how I am, it's generally a far cry from some of the things my friends have had to endure. And they stay strong and persevere. Everyone has their baggage, for sure.

I can only speak for myself, but I personally don't want special treatment. I don't want to police your language. The only thing I ever wanted was to be treated like everybody else. And that means if I do something stupid I get told it's stupid just like everybody else. I have that list of Terms up there as a guide. I would ask that you refrain from using known Derogatory terms (such as Faggot or Tranny/Shemale), in the same way you would refrain from using the N-word, but that is all.

Other than that, you'd need to speak about more specific instances of what you're talking about.

The problem, generally speaking, is that we speak in exactly that: general situations. It's much more effective, I feel, if you can point to a specific situation in which we can discuss. Chances are we would actually agree in a lot of cases.

Another question i’d like to as for anyone who’d like to answer for my own understanding, is what led you to be LGBT?

In my case I would actually say that it leans more towards the biological than the environmental, especially as certain people in my family did try to disway the behaviour.

I could always tell that I was different, but I just thought that I was completely incompatible. It was actually a huge relief to realize that I was just gay, and that I actually had a chance of being with someone.

I would say the Birth Order is probably the biggest contributor towards my state of being, which is recognized as "one of the most reliable epidemiological variables ever identified in the study of sexual orientation". I am the youngest of 3, after all.

Other than that, I never knew anybody else like me until I was 19, and I wasn't molested or anything. I had a wonderful and normal upbringing, and I feel very grateful for that.

I've had a wonderful life thus far and I feel very proud to live in such a warm and inviting country. Canada has been nothing but great to me.

 

[7echnicolor]

Why have the board if it's not going to be used?

Alright, I have a question. I'm sure this is going to offend someone somehow and I'll try to be as easy as possible here. Lgbt+ people make up less than 1% of the population of the US. Why should we cater to you? Why should we go out of our way to call you your preferred pronouns or use the correct non-label ala non-binary or cis or whatever? Any time you see someone uncomfortable with the whole lgbtq field they're demonized but you all have an extremely hatefilled slice of your community that is not addressed. You have had it rough that is certain. However, all peoples have had it rough at some time and only the selected outrage group of the month seem to get recognition for that.

Probably the same reason that if you tell someone your name, they call you by that, and not a totally different name than the one you gave them.

It doesn't matter how many Adams or Ryans or Jacquelyns or Marisas there are, if you meet someone and they say, "Hey, my name is Adam", you're going to call them that name because it's just what decent people do. That same logic applies to minorities at pretty much the same level.

I think the better question is, why wouldn't you cater to someone? Why would you go out of your way to call someone by the incorrect name? Why do you find it difficult to be a decent person?

 

[Christopher]

Totally support the LGBT community, rock on guys love whoever you want.

 

[camelCase]

I get the impression most of those terms have always been offensive to the transgender community to some extent so they were used rather liberally. There is dialogue and communication with the community now that lets us understand what they would rather not be called.

On the porn sites which I definitely don't visit, there is no aversion to the use of these terms, but that could be biased based on where I'm getting my info ( def not porn sites)

But seriously I don't see much protest over these words in the hxc community.

 

[I'm new be nice]

On the porn sites which I definitely don't visit, there is no aversion to the use of these terms, but that could be biased based on where I'm getting my info ( def not porn sites)

But seriously I don't see much protest over these words in the hxc community.

I mean, I watch tons of porn with terms like "sissy" and "bitch" in them, but that doesn't mean I'd want someone calling me that in daily life.

Porn is fantasy man, it's totally different.

 

[Corderlain]

Probably the same reason that if you tell someone your name, they call you by that, and not a totally different name than the one you gave them.

It doesn't matter how many Adams or Ryans or Jacquelyns or Marisas there are, if you meet someone and they say, "Hey, my name is Adam", you're going to call them that name because it's just what decent people do. That same logic applies to minorities at pretty much the same level.

I think the better question is, why wouldn't you cater to someone? Why would you go out of your way to call someone by the incorrect name? Why do you find it difficult to be a decent person?

I feel like starting my post with "I'm not trying to be offensive I'm just really trying to understand" and then having almost every reply call me a piece of shit is pretty indicative of why people aren't going to connect with your message.

 

[i_am_ben]

I feel like starting my post with "I'm not trying to be offensive I'm just really trying to understand" and then having almost every reply call me a piece of shit is pretty indicative of why people aren't going to connect with your message.

Why should we cater to you?

 

[I'm new be nice]

having almost every reply call me a piece of shit

Nobody called you a piece of shit.

I even responded quite earnestly to your question.

Don't be such a drama queen.

Edit: peice to piece, and quiet to quite.
This is what I get for posting when i'm drinking lol

 

[Corderlain]

It's pretty clear where a few people have attacked me. If you can be bother to scroll up good luck. Nice of everyone to push away anyone who has questions.

 

[The Elite]

It's pretty clear where a few people have attacked me. If you can be bother to scroll up good luck. Nice of everyone to push away anyone who has questions.

The only post I can see that could be construed as antagonistic is Cauliflouer of Love's post and it's more frustration than anything. It doesn't come off as an attack and you refer to it as a "hateful slice". It's not hateful in the least.

How about you treat the LGBT community with respect and they do the same to you. If someone from that community or any other community treats you like shit for asking a question they aren't worth your time. Just move along. That doesn't mean an entire community is a problem. There are bad apples everywhere who don't want to engage in dialogue and just want to find an excuse to hate. How about we all try to not be those people.

 

[7echnicolor]

I feel like starting my post with "I'm not trying to be offensive I'm just really trying to understand" and then having almost every reply call me a piece of shit is pretty indicative of why people aren't going to connect with your message.

Where did I call you a piece of shit or attack you? You clearly have an issue with basic decency, so I think my question was fair. And my other two questions are literally just re-purposed versions of your questions.

Honestly, your response to my response leaves me with the impression that you aren't asking these questions in good faith, and that makes me feel bad.

 

[Deleted member 12837]

Alright, I have a question. I'm sure this is going to offend someone somehow and I'll try to be as easy as possible here. Lgbt+ people make up less than 1% of the population of the US. Why should we cater to you? Why should we go out of our way to call you your preferred pronouns or use the correct non-label ala non-binary or cis or whatever?

I think people have been a bit rough on you because you're characterizing "using a preferred pronoun" as "catering to them", which they feel is an unfair comparison at best and an argument made in bad faith at worst. I'm more in line with the former. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and you did preface your question with an assurance you're not attempting to offend.

Maybe an analogy will help answer your question:

Let's say you have a friend named William. That's his birth name. He prefers to be called "Bill". Would you consider his request to be a request to "cater to him"?

If someone else insisted on calling him "William" or "Billy" despite knowing Bill's preference, can you understand why Bill might be annoyed or frustrated, and why he might feel like this other person is a bit of a jerk?

 

[Corderlain]

That's a pretty fair analogy.

 

[Greedings]

I think the William/Bill analogy is fine for m2f and f2m people. It breaks down with those (albeit in the minority) who demand to be called some made up word like “zee”.

It’s more like William is being asked to be called Zardon the Conquorer instead of just Bill.

 

[7echnicolor]

I think the William/Bill analogy is fine for m2f and f2m people. It breaks down with those (albeit in the minority) who demand to be called some made up word like “zee”.

It’s more like William is being asked to be called Zardon the Conquorer instead of just Bill.

Have you ever actually met someone that does this? I've been going to LGBT-themed/aimed events for the better part of a decade and still have yet to meet a single person who actually wants to be referred to by pronouns that aren't she/he/they. The 'xie/zee/whatever' bogeyman is such a strange phenomena.