Support NeoGAF

[hemo memo]

Reviews are al over the place. So many contradictions it is like they are reviewing different movies. Some say it is not a marvel movie others said it is clearly a marvel movie with marvel dna. Some say it is rushed others say it is slow. Others say it is the worst marvel movie and others say it is the most interesting marvel movie. I mean what the hell. At least they all agree the movie is visually stunning.

 

[T8SC]

Stop posting spoilers about my teen boners or I'll msg a mod.

She really was something else, seems to have kept her looks as well despite looking miserable everytime she's photographed. But, eh, she married a footballer, par for course.

Always wondered if there's a behind-the-scenes agreement going on, on paper. Has to be, he bangs all the whores groupies/she gets a massive monthly allowance for their own shit. Don't ask / don't tell deal.

Has to be, just how does the missus anchor them down to make things Eternal? (Nice avatar btw).

I hear the mods also get boners from the same woman.

She's a unicorn, much like Kate Beckinsale. They've dipped their feet in the pool of youth.... or they sold their souls, I can't tell which.

...


She married a footballer, so she sold her soul.

 

[Ionian]

I hear the mods also get boners from the same woman.

She's a unicorn, much like Kate Beckinsale. They've dipped their feet in the pool of youth.... or they sold their souls, I can't tell which.

...


She married a footballer, so she sold her soul.

I never got past Subbeteo.

Perhaps next lifetime I will have a nymph for myself that stays locked in a closest.

Correction: walk in wardrobe of designer gear.

 

[T8SC]

I never got past Subbeteo.

Perhaps next lifetime I will have a nymph for myself that stays locked in a closest.

Correction: walk in wardrobe of designer gear.

 

[Ionian]

Bleugh.

Baby Spice for the romance.

Geri for the bedroom.

Posh, no just no. Still she did bag one of the biggest footballers, paid for her nose-job and fake tits at least.

Then again Beckham wasn't hired for his intelligence off the pitch.

 

[T8SC]

Bleugh.

Baby Spice for the romance.

Geri for the bedroom.

Posh, no just no. Still she did bag one of the biggest footballers, paid for her nose-job and fake tits at least.

Then again Beckham wasn't hired for his intelligence off the pitch.

Poor Mel.

 

[TaylorSwiftFan]

Black Widow has made over 500 million including Disney+ receipts. You add that to the total because that was their release strategy. Same as adding HBO Max receipts to Dune's total, $223 million + 24 million or whatever paltry number it was based on 1.9 million accounts watching the film. The reason I bring up Bad Boys and Sonic is due to the fact they were released before the pandemic took effect. During a pandemic release Shang Chi was still able to hit it's current box office and basically beat Bad Boys, an unknown franchise almost (and probably will by the end of it's theatrical run) beating a well known and loved franchise like Bad Boys, during a pandemic release.
And of course No Time to Die passed Shang Chi like nothing, It's a known franchise where as Shang Chi is not. I also stated in one of the Dune threads that I'd consider September as a pandemic month and October as a post pandemic month.

Shang Chi had a way bigger budget of Bad Boys and Sonic. Both of those movies are much smaller. They also were not released for long in the theatres before the pandemic hit. Shang Chi released at a time where most places were opened and with no competition at all even by non-pandemic times.

I would consider July post pandemic month from a boxoffice perspective because most places were opened then.

 

[Ionian]

Poor Mel.

Hahahaha, both of them! Although Mel C banged Anthony Kiedis from the Chili Peppers and had a song wriiten about her on Californication.

Of all the Spice Girls to pick, guess Eddie Murphy already had Mel B.

Shame Keith Lemon doesn't do that show anymore, Craig David was a classic.

 

[T8SC]

Hahahaha, both of them! Although Mel C banged Anthony Kiedis from the Chili Peppers and had a song wriiten about her on Californication.

Of all the Spice Girls to pick, guess Eddie Murphy already had Mel B.

Shame Keith Lemon doesn't do that show anymore, Craig David was a classic.

Proper bo, come on now Kes.


I'll take Victoria, she's filth & takes it up the arse.

 

[Ionian]

GAFs on fire right now, not laughed this much at forum posts in ages.

It's not COVID that needs to be worried about, I reckon mad cow disease is back.

But back on topic, Eternals reviews seem to be all over the place. I'll watch a stream, when I'm bored. I'd say holding it back had more to do with trepidation than anything. Sounds boring from accounts online.

Haven't seen a single comment on Jolie and surely she must have been the most expensive cast.

 

[nush]

Craig David was a classic.

Crrrraigg Daaavid.

 

[Ionian]

Crrrraigg Daaavid.

Genius, gotta go back and watch them all again. The Keith Lemon show was brilliant too, The KArdashians had me in stitches.

 

[sol_bad]

Shang Chi had a way bigger budget of Bad Boys and Sonic. Both of those movies are much smaller. They also were not released for long in the theatres before the pandemic hit. Shang Chi released at a time where most places were opened and with no competition at all even by non-pandemic times.

I would consider July post pandemic month from a boxoffice perspective because most places were opened then.

Most theatrical movies make their money in the first 30-40 days, after that they might make an extra 5-25 million. There are of course exceptions to this rule like Avatar, Endgame and Force Awakens.

Sonic was out for 30 weekends in the UK, barely made any extra money after the 4th weekend.

Sonic the Hedgehog

www.boxofficemojo.com

France, 23 weekends.

Sonic the Hedgehog

www.boxofficemojo.com

Germany, 41 weekends.

Sonic the Hedgehog

www.boxofficemojo.com

Australia, 66 weekends.

Sonic the Hedgehog

www.boxofficemojo.com

Sonics release in America was truncated but Bad Boys wasn't, it got 66 days in theatres. You'll see after day 40 it didn't gain much extra.

Bad Boys for Life

www.boxofficemojo.com

And July is when theatres opened in America but other countries were in lock down like Australia and the Philippines. Different countries had different rules regarding distancing so not every country was back to 100% capacity. And even then, there were many people who didn't feel comfortable going to the cinemas.

 

[Azurro]

But I thought this movie was going to save lives! Lives Jerry, Lives!

 

[SafeOrAlone]

Don't believe the rumor about X-Men being in this. Not true and there is no hint of it. Killing those false expectations for anyone who may have heard.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

I've heard about two post credit scenes as well as there being onto 1. Anyone know which is accurate? Already known what one of them is.

 

[Ionian]

It's Thanos' grandson and his fight to be accepted as the first effeminate titan in the galaxy ala David Bowie, you will laugh and you will cry. And probably then report it to the mods at the studio.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

It's Thanos' grandson and his fight to be accepted as the first effeminate titan in the galaxy ala David Bowie, you will laugh and you will cry. And probably then report it to the mods at the studio.

Jokes are welcome. We just want to make sure you behave. Good Ionian.

 

[jason10mm]

It's Thanos' grandson and his fight to be accepted as the first effeminate titan in the galaxy ala David Bowie, you will laugh and you will cry. And probably then report it to the mods at the studio.

Bowie would have been an AWESOME Marvel villain!

Hell, I bet they would have gotten him for Sorcerer Supreme of whatever her name was in Dr. Strange had he been healthier at the time.

 

[Ionian]

Jokes are welcome. We just want to make sure you behave. Good Ionian.

I saw your post before you edited.

Also you aren't the arbiter of what can or cannot be posted. You were funny yesterday to laugh at but it will wear thin quickly you condescending fool.

See, I called you a fool. As I said yesterday you're not long for here if you just troll to rile people up. Better have tried and failed.

 

[Ionian]

Bowie would have been an AWESOME Marvel villain!

Hell, I bet they would have gotten him for Sorcerer Supreme of whatever her name was in Dr. Strange had he been healthier at the time.

Hell yeah! Makes me sad now thinking of what may have been, he would have been amazing.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

Also you aren't the arbiter of what can or cannot be posted. You were funny yesterday to laugh at but it will wear thin quickly you condescending fool.

Sorry. no spoilers allowed. It's not my rule, I'm just reminding you of it. Dont try to overstep it, you'll probably get banned from the thread.

 

[Ionian]

Sorry. no spoilers allowed. It's not my rule, I'm just reminding you of it. Dont try to overstep it, you'll probably get banned from the thread.

Stick your reminder up your ass, you're not a mod. Don't act like one.

Pretty sure backseat-modding and trolling is frowned upon but I'm a mod either.

EDIT: If I overstep the mark I'm sure I will be notified, sweetheart.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

Stick your reminder up your ass, you're not a mod. Don't act like one.

Pretty sure backseat-modding and trolling is frowned upon but I'm a mod either.

You are getting feisty. I suggest you relax.

It's not backseat modding to remind people not to post spoilers. That's maintaining board etiquette. Stop whining about backseat modding, because, ironically, it seems like you are the one crying wolf to them when you keep saying that.

We want to talk here without spoilers. You'll do the same or go.

 

[Ionian]

You are getting feisty. I suggest you relax.

It's not backseat modding to remind people not to post spoilers. That's maintaining board etiquette. Stop whining about backseat modding, because, ironically, it seems like you are the one crying wolf to them when you keep saying that.

We want to talk here without spoilers. You'll do the same or go.

You're ban baiting. What spoiler have I posted?

"We want to talk here without spoilers. You'll do the same or go."

Uh-huh, threatening me now. Classy. I've never messaged a mod, ever. Although starting to consider it.

But nah, you ain't worth it, I'll let nature take it's course.

Take your own advise and stop shitting up the thread, spamming reactions over accounts and desperately seeking attention.

You'll find the thread will go better, also don't reply to me again. Let the thread get back on course without the nonsense bickering, was funny yesterday but only yesterday.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

Just stop, man. For all our sake. You followed me in here to try and troll me and insult me with your spoiler joke, because I had a spoiler removed yesterday.
Then I responded in kind and you flipped out.

We aren't asking too much to have a spoiler free discussion before the movie is out.

 

[Blade2.0]

I wonder if in 25 years, we'll look back and say "yep, Covid killed the MCU". Films like this are fine when it felt like we were moving foward in time, but everything feels like its ground to a hault. In terms of canon timeline the plot is stilll basically at "immediately after End Game" and hasnt felt like we've moved into anything more than an epilogue sense then.

I mean, weren't all of these films supposed to be 2020. Black widow, eternals, and shang chi have just been waiting to be distributed. multiverse fuckery should have already been happening.

 

[Pagusas]

I mean, weren't all of these films supposed to be 2020. Black widow, eternals, and shang chi have just been waiting to be distributed. multiverse fuckery should have already been happening.

yeah thats what I mean, Covid caused the release schedules to get so stretched out that phase 4 is coming off incredibly slow and boring, when the original plan was for a much faster release schedule that would make films like the Eternals feel less like a tentpole release and more like part of the overall big picture plan. The Eternals wont be good enough to support the weight put on its shoulders to keep peoples interest. And the shows are just flash in the pans that dont hold long term interest. So we're left with a stupidly long, spread out phase 4 that so far feels directionless and pointless. Obviously its not their faults, but thats why I said I wonder if we'll claim covid was the first major crack in the MCU that eventually kills it.

 

[jason10mm]

This won't kill the MCU, boring repetitive films will. Spiderman and Dr. Strange will probably but it back in track, unless "the plan" is nedulous and all of these films are essentially stand alones with no grand build up (which, quite frankly, Marvel should just say up front to dispel internet nerd speculation). They may even be in a deliberate "see what sticks" mode for these new heroes since they have to retool Black Panther so much and they really have very little momentum post-Endgame.

I'm sure they are working hard to set the stage for F4 and mutants with the hope that Shang-chi and the Eternals generate enough buzz to keep the lights on and maybe get to be a nice support cast, with the possibility of a break-out GotG style smash that spawns their own series.

 

[Ionian]

yeah thats what I mean, Covid caused the release schedules to get so stretched out that phase 4 is coming off incredibly slow and boring, when the original plan was for a much faster release schedule that would make films like the Eternals feel less like a tentpole release and more like part of the overall big picture plan. The Eternals wont be good enough to support the weight put on its shoulders to keep peoples interest. And the shows are just flash in the pans that dont hold long term interest. So we're left with a stupidly long, spread out phase 4 that so far feels directionless and pointless. Obviously its not their faults, but thats why I said I wonder if we'll claim covid was the first major crack in the MCU that eventually kills it.

It certainly has killed interest but don't think it's dead.

Personally I loved Loki, had no interest in the winter Soldier one so didn't watch it.

Disney+ seems the way to go for them, seems like they just threw this out as it was so delayed. I have hope, not much but some.

I guess will be up to the younger generation getting attached to the characters and following through. Older ones just seem to be ambivalent about the newer films.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

MCU dying is the new “consoles are dying.” It’s going to be a staple of Disney/Marvel for a long time to come.

 

[sol_bad]

This won't kill the MCU, boring repetitive films will. Spiderman and Dr. Strange will probably but it back in track, unless "the plan" is nedulous and all of these films are essentially stand alones with no grand build up (which, quite frankly, Marvel should just say up front to dispel internet nerd speculation). They may even be in a deliberate "see what sticks" mode for these new heroes since they have to retool Black Panther so much and they really have very little momentum post-Endgame.

I'm sure they are working hard to set the stage for F4 and mutants with the hope that Shang-chi and the Eternals generate enough buzz to keep the lights on and maybe get to be a nice support cast, with the possibility of a break-out GotG style smash that spawns their own series.

I'm not sure why and I don't understand it, but this film seems to be getting low reviews because it's not the usual MCU fair. I don't understand it because you'd think that would be a welcome change. IMO, Shang Chi did not feel like a typical MCU film but I guess that film worked better for critics. Whereas Eternals seems to be a much slower paced piece of cinema, which doesn't surprise me because Nomadland was slow paced. I'm even more curious about Eternals due to hoe devisive it seems to be.

Marvel wouldn't make a film to be standalone, they definitely plan to make each property an ongoing franchise. There will be a Shang Chi 2 and Eternals 2.

 

[jason10mm]

I'm not sure why and I don't understand it, but this film seems to be getting low reviews because it's not the usual MCU fair. I don't understand it because you'd think that would be a welcome change. IMO, Shang Chi did not feel like a typical MCU film but I guess that film worked better for critics. Whereas Eternals seems to be a much slower paced piece of cinema, which doesn't surprise me because Nomadland was slow paced. I'm even more curious about Eternals due to hoe devisive it seems to be.

Marvel wouldn't make a film to be standalone, they definitely plan to make each property an ongoing franchise. There will be a Shang Chi 2 and Eternals 2.

Most of the early MCU films were shit but they were new. Most of the later MCU films were shit but because they were building to IW/Endgame they were caught up in a wave of momentum. Now they are back to just being shit.

MCU films are almost all TERRIBLE. But they are also almost always at least silly fun to watch. Strip away the silly fun then you just have terrible.

I'd argue that the Captain America ones were the only marvel films worth anything as films. The rest are just silly shit that only gain weight when they intersect with Captain America. I love Thor but he is ridiculous. Ironman is just dumb. The rest are actively painful in various ways.

I don't see how they integrate all these new characters into a cohesive team narrative like the Avengers but I'm open to whatever they do so long as it is fun. Alas I think they are nosediving into more and more CGI with less and less actual human stuntwork, I'm tired of EVERY. SINGLE. Marvel film ending in a CG video game battle.

 

[sCHOCOLATE]

Why is Iron Man 2 so low ? It may have been a disappointment after the expectations created by the first one, but it has Black Widow at her sexiest plus Tony Stark building a cyclotron in his basement with a wrench and a hammer !

It has the epic hero shot of Stark and War Machine, back-to-back, encircled by drones, opening 24 cans of whoop-ass.

 

[QuantumZebra]

MCU already blew their load. The formula has gotten stale

But... this movie doesn't follow their formula?

 

[DeafTourette]

But... this movie doesn't follow their formula?

Folks love dunking on the MCU for it's formula. But because of that formula, folks think ALL of the movies follow jt... yet when a movie doesn't follow it and it's widely reported that it doesn't ... They somehow don't see it.

 

[bitbydeath]

Don't believe the rumor about X-Men being in this. Not true and there is no hint of it. Killing those false expectations for anyone who may have heard.

You should spoiler tag that.

 

[Halo is Back]

Folks love dunking on the MCU for it's formula. But because of that formula, folks think ALL of the movies follow jt... yet when a movie doesn't follow it and it's widely reported that it doesn't ... They somehow don't see it.

Or maybe I'm just tired of superhero movies? The trailers have shown me nothing is unique about this movie. It was a good run but now I'm thoroughly uninterested in marvel.

 

[Toons]

You know you're franchise is in a pretty good place when a high 60% has people professing doom for your brand

Its interesting that we care about RT now though

don't care! Still seeing it; judging for myself if it's good.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

You should spoiler tag that.

Nush-tag something that isn’t in the movie and would only lead to false raised expectations if believed?
I’m only tagging actual spoilers, like the

Spoiler

Jay and silent Bob cameo.

last thing I want is to be embarrassed like Nush when a mod comes and changes my post after I scream that I’m not going to .
Don’t worry Marvel Gaf, got your back.

 

[jason10mm]

Folks love dunking on the MCU for it's formula. But because of that formula, folks think ALL of the movies follow jt... yet when a movie doesn't follow it and it's widely reported that it doesn't ... They somehow don't see it.

Just because it doesn't follow the marvel formula doesn't mean it will still be a good film. Sounds like this is just a mediocre film, most are.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

I want a Deaths Head movie. No more niche than these shit characters. At least it'd be fun. Yes?

 

[Ionian]

I want a Deaths Head movie. No more niche than these shit characters. At least it'd be fun. Yes?

I still want a Lobo movie, loved that comic. I know it's not Marvel but believe it was talked about and nothing ever materialised.

I was a sucker for iMage comics when I was collecting, also used McFarlene as a base when studying comic art. He might be a bit of a dope but I thought his art was awesome. He was nearly right up there with Bisley for me. Had his posters all over my bedroom from 2000 AD. Stunning work.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

McFalrane isn’t a dope. The guy went from comic artist to filthy rich, paved the way for tons of independent creators with Image comics, and pushed the action figure industry forward in a huge way. He’s a very savvy business man, who is passionate about the art he’s involved in.

The guy is still trying to push himself and explore new ventures, 30+ years into his career.
Plus, Todd is cool to his fans. One small example is the low price he still charges for his comics, while having them built with nice thick paper and covers.
Todd is the man. It’s popular to hate on him because of the Neil Gaiman dispute, but overall, he’s far from a “dope”.

Best thing about him are still his pencils though. I love the way he throws anatomy to the wind and still makes it all work.

To each their own though.

Bisley is cool. I love his Ninja Turtles.

 

[QuantumZebra]

I still want a Lobo movie, loved that comic. I know it's not Marvel but believe it was talked about and nothing ever materialised.

I was a sucker for iMage comics when I was collecting, also used McFarlene as a base when studying comic art. He might be a bit of a dope but I thought his art was awesome. He was nearly right up there with Bisley for me. Had his posters all over my bedroom from 2000 AD. Stunning work.

that 90s shit

yess

 

[Ionian]

that 90s shit

yess

Truly was something, empty pockets trying to keep up. The hologram covers was the start of the end.

I loved them but had siblings steal my comics and sell them to a local bookshop, dude even made a section for it. He knew what they were doing.

Little bastards. Had a huge collection so never noticed until I saw them there.

So I robbed the bookshop. Books at the back, bloody Dan Dare A2 hard backs that smelled like cat piss, must have looked like a fridge walking out.

I got my revenge. (nobody wanted cat-piss Dan Dare so probably traded them in for pennies in another comic shop).

 

[TheMan]

Yeah, I blew my load after the last avengers movie and frankly I'm still in the refractory period

 

[AnotherDayAnotherDollar]

Eternals had to be sacrificed and killed so they know not to mess with the X-Men, including changing the name as Alonso implied.

 

[Toons]

This actually makes me wanna see it more lol

 

[Javthusiast]

These reviews.