• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Meta GAF |ON| Gaf on Gaf

Putonahappyface

Putonahappyface

Member
nush said:
My favorite whore is going to kiss me when I arrive.
Click to expand...
winnie the pooh honey GIF
 
nush

nush

Gold Member
Day one on a northern British council estate: Every cliche confirmed.

This place is fucking amazing, this morning I was told about “pedo fence guy”. This afternoon out the window I spotted someone matching that description. So I waited and watched a little and his following actions confirmed it. Pedo fence guy, stay away from those fences.
 
John Marston

John Marston

GAF's very own treasure goblin
I want German Hops to re-post his GIF of the hamster standing still then falling on its back with the biggest smile you've ever seen.

I laughed for 20 minutes straight & can't find it anymore.
 
nush

nush

Gold Member
So, her daughter came to visit (early 20’s), I noticed what surely must me a deep meaning Shakespearean quote inscribed on her chest. I decided to investigate.

Me: OI, what the fuck is that written on your tits?
Her: OMG, it’s embarrassing, I’ve already tried laser treatment to get rid of it.
Me: so it’s not just a shit quality tattoo then?
*then we talks about some different stuff until I circle around again*
Me: So what does it say then?
Her: God it’s embarrassing, sigh… “everything is life, Life is everything”
Me: You’re right, that is shit.
Her: well, I thought it sounded good when I was 13.

*my mind now enters bullet-time as I process this information*

Me: WHO THE FUCK TATTOOED THAT ON A 13 YEAR OLD GIRL?!
Her:
I gave him a big bag of weed

You can’t make this shit up, perfection. :messenger_tears_of_joy:
 
Thaedolus

Thaedolus

Gold Member
My sister just sent a picture of her family having dinner with the governor, and I replied that she should tell him to arrest one of our senators…I haven’t heard back if she took my suggestion.

I hope that’s vague enough to not violate the rules 🫰
 
ThatGamingDude

ThatGamingDude

I am a virgin
nush said:
So, her daughter came to visit (early 20’s), I noticed what surely must me a deep meaning Shakespearean quote inscribed on her chest. I decided to investigate.

Me: OI, what the fuck is that written on your tits?
Her: OMG, it’s embarrassing, I’ve already tried laser treatment to get rid of it.
Me: so it’s not just a shit quality tattoo then?
*then we talks about some different stuff until I circle around again*
Me: So what does it say then?
Her: God it’s embarrassing, sigh… “everything is life, Life is everything”
Me: You’re right, that is shit.
Her: well, I thought it sounded good when I was 13.

*my mind now enters bullet-time as I process this information*

Me: WHO THE FUCK TATTOOED THAT ON A 13 YEAR OLD GIRL?!
Her:
I gave him a big bag of weed

You can’t make this shit up, perfection. :messenger_tears_of_joy:
Click to expand...
And other Americans look at me going "Who the fuck agreed to tattoo that nasty shit on your tits?" As an insult
/S
 
German Hops

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
badblue said:
I'm a "never had a proper "authentic" cheesesteak so either is good" type of guy.
Click to expand...
Yeah, you really can't go wrong with either. I'll give provolone a +1, though, because its provolone.

And smoked provolone in particular.. is magnificent. :messenger_heart:
 
Last edited:
Thaedolus

Thaedolus

Gold Member
Me, chirping to a bunch of other dads as we walked on stage for our dance routine for our 4 year olds’ recital: hey just don’t fuck up

Seemed like it loosened them all up.
 
nush

nush

Gold Member

Relevant link. I’ve become the nemesis of Keith from The Offfice (UK)
438923

He’s been simping hard after my friend for years, she even told him he was in the friend zone. So, my dear, dear friend of 30 years got my ass out of China. “No problem, come and live with me, I’ll pay for everything it will be like old times, we’ll play vidya, watch movies, smoke weed at the weekends”.

Keith had never met me but in his mind I’m some Chad that rolled up from the other side of the world and took the spot he was working to get with zero effort.

He made a last chance go for broke effort to get in here a week before I arrived. She read me the texts “I hope that you’ll be happy with Nush, I guess you don’t need me as a friend anymore” The salt, the salt :messenger_tears_of_joy:

The best thing about this is that I really am not interested in shagging the 50 YO version of a woman I casually one standed a few times in her 20’s. It’s a mutual friend zoning. That said, she’s doing the whole trad wife thing for me..

Well played Mr Bond….
 
Toons

Toons

Banned
nush said:

Relevant link. I’ve become the nemesis of Keith from The Offfice (UK)
438923

He’s been simping hard after my friend for years, she even told him he was in the friend zone. So, my dear, dear friend of 30 years got my ass out of China. “No problem, come and live with me, I’ll pay for everything it will be like old times, we’ll play vidya, watch movies, smoke weed at the weekends”.

Keith had never met me but in his mind I’m some Chad that rolled up from the other side of the world and took the spot he was working to get with zero effort.

He made a last chance go for broke effort to get in here a week before I arrived. She read me the texts “I hope that you’ll be happy with Nush, I guess you don’t need me as a friend anymore” The salt, the salt :messenger_tears_of_joy:

The best thing about this is that I really am not interested in shagging the 50 YO version of a woman I casually one standed a few times in her 20’s. It’s a mutual friend zoning. That said, she’s doing the whole trad wife thing for me..

Well played Mr Bond….
Click to expand...

I have no idea what any of this means but congrats.... or I'm sorry for your loss!
 
Slicker than your average

Slicker than your average

Banned
nush said:

Relevant link. I’ve become the nemesis of Keith from The Offfice (UK)
438923

He’s been simping hard after my friend for years, she even told him he was in the friend zone. So, my dear, dear friend of 30 years got my ass out of China. “No problem, come and live with me, I’ll pay for everything it will be like old times, we’ll play vidya, watch movies, smoke weed at the weekends”.

Keith had never met me but in his mind I’m some Chad that rolled up from the other side of the world and took the spot he was working to get with zero effort.

He made a last chance go for broke effort to get in here a week before I arrived. She read me the texts “I hope that you’ll be happy with Nush, I guess you don’t need me as a friend anymore” The salt, the salt :messenger_tears_of_joy:

The best thing about this is that I really am not interested in shagging the 50 YO version of a woman I casually one standed a few times in her 20’s. It’s a mutual friend zoning. That said, she’s doing the whole trad wife thing for me..

Well played Mr Bond….
Click to expand...
Howa Keith doing these days. What streaming services have peak practice on.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Neo Gaf I’m devastated…
Drama Cringe 2
93
4K
Arsic replied
  • Locked
Nexus reportedly removing mods that remove pronouns from Starfield
Drama Cringe 2 3 4
179
14K
DeepEnigma replied
Which GAF members have the best tastes in Gaming?
2 3 4
191
7K
Heimdall_Xtreme replied
Bobby Kotick, former CEO of Activision, Interested in Buying Tik-Tok
2 3
143
7K
Gameplay Gods Bless replied
If your entire digital library went away, what would you do?
2 3
130
4K
nkarafo replied
Top Bottom