Iaterain
Member
My dog 11 year old Yorkshire, the most beautiful, smart and kind boy ever died today in my hands.
We drove to the emergency vet clinic at night because he stopped moving or reacting to anything. He got a medicine and we were told that he should be fine. He should have gotten a dropper every day for a week. We were also told that the only bad sign that we should be worry if he would start wheezing and we should drive back instantly if it happens. I was massaging his heart and talking to him all the time. I was hoping that he is like in deep sleep, not in pain but could feel our presence.
When we almost arrived home he started wheezing. We immediately drove back. He started to breath very quickly, after that his breath started to become shorter and shorter. He was straggling to catch an air. On the last moment he moved for the first time since the morning, he stretched out his head, turned his head to me, looked at me with his big eyes, opened his mouth and made loud very human like sound A and fall. His heart become very warm and wasn't beating any more...
My biggest fear since day one was to lose him. The thought that he could get lost, scared, searching us helplessly was driving me crazy and now I don't know where he is. Maybe our bond is broken and he doesn't exist anymore and it is like an infinity peace. Maybe he is somewhere else continuing the life experience in a different way. I just hope that he isn't scared, not in pain and know what to do.
I never cry but now I can't stop. I was so proud of him all his life. If I could turn back in time, I would spend so much more time with him. He was very loved and never alone, but I know that I could be so much better and closer to him than I was. It just the life made it feels like that our bond couldn't be any closer and we were always together anyway but now I understand how wrong I was. I feel like I was his greatest friend and teacher for the first half of his life. But the other half of his life I changed. I was taking our time together for granted. I didn't appreciate the moments that we had together as much as I should have. He was always with me or family. It felt like "good enough", but now I know that it wasn't enough and I could be a better friend and family to him. I should have spent all the time studying about his life and how to make him happier and stronger dog. Instead I wasted that time in the things that doesn't really matter.
I wish I was appreciating every minute of my life with my dog and nothing could interrupt it. Now those days feels priceless to me. How could I be so blessed and not understanding that.
We drove to the emergency vet clinic at night because he stopped moving or reacting to anything. He got a medicine and we were told that he should be fine. He should have gotten a dropper every day for a week. We were also told that the only bad sign that we should be worry if he would start wheezing and we should drive back instantly if it happens. I was massaging his heart and talking to him all the time. I was hoping that he is like in deep sleep, not in pain but could feel our presence.
When we almost arrived home he started wheezing. We immediately drove back. He started to breath very quickly, after that his breath started to become shorter and shorter. He was straggling to catch an air. On the last moment he moved for the first time since the morning, he stretched out his head, turned his head to me, looked at me with his big eyes, opened his mouth and made loud very human like sound A and fall. His heart become very warm and wasn't beating any more...
My biggest fear since day one was to lose him. The thought that he could get lost, scared, searching us helplessly was driving me crazy and now I don't know where he is. Maybe our bond is broken and he doesn't exist anymore and it is like an infinity peace. Maybe he is somewhere else continuing the life experience in a different way. I just hope that he isn't scared, not in pain and know what to do.
I never cry but now I can't stop. I was so proud of him all his life. If I could turn back in time, I would spend so much more time with him. He was very loved and never alone, but I know that I could be so much better and closer to him than I was. It just the life made it feels like that our bond couldn't be any closer and we were always together anyway but now I understand how wrong I was. I feel like I was his greatest friend and teacher for the first half of his life. But the other half of his life I changed. I was taking our time together for granted. I didn't appreciate the moments that we had together as much as I should have. He was always with me or family. It felt like "good enough", but now I know that it wasn't enough and I could be a better friend and family to him. I should have spent all the time studying about his life and how to make him happier and stronger dog. Instead I wasted that time in the things that doesn't really matter.
I wish I was appreciating every minute of my life with my dog and nothing could interrupt it. Now those days feels priceless to me. How could I be so blessed and not understanding that.