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Planning for your death

p_xavier

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To be clear, I'm not dying right now. But since I have signs of bone marrow cancer, and I already had cancer before, I was thinking about how to plan for my death and financial aspects of it. I'm estranged from my brother's family, I actually don't care about him at all since he's a known drug dealer. With no main "younger" family, I was thinking of donating my money to my female best friend. I know many people would say charity, but I worked for a few organizations and they're rotten. Then there's all the aspects of assets liquidation. Should I ask the same friend to do that liquidation? Notary fees are noticeably high. Another friend has a list of all of my bank accounts, loans, investments and house registration copies.

I should also inherit from 3 of my uncles/aunts as they don't have kids (well one does but she doesn't talk to her daughter) and they're in their 70s and not really in shape, two of them are on chemotherapy for cancer. So that's a good amount of money right there too. My current worth is above average but I really spend a ton on useless things as I don't care really, I try to enjoy the moment (well a lot more). I intend to continue that.

So I don't know which financial strategy to take. If I indeed have not many years to live, I might retire early but the thing is my pension fund has a big penalty (nearly 30%) if I take it out and I don't know when I'll inherit money, which would serve as a retirement fund, if I get better. I also plan to pay for a cemetery lot next year with the tombstone pre-paid. What else am I missing in planning?
 
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Con-Z-epT

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My sincere condolences.

Maybe a power of attorney for a selected person of trust to do your own will in an emergency. Maybe not necessary depending on how the state of your health progresses.

A patient's decree and a testament wouldn't hurt. I know a lot of people that have these while still healthy and in their forties.

These are no financial tips of course and more general thoughts but i hope that helps to some degree.

Live Long And Prosper Star Trek GIF
 

p_xavier

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My sincere condolences.

Maybe a power of attorney for a selected person of trust to do your own will in an emergency. Maybe not necessary depending on how the state of your health progresses.

A patient's decree and a testament wouldn't hurt. I know a lot of people that have these while still healthy and in their forties.

These are no financial tips of course and more general thoughts but i hope that helps to some degree.

Live Long And Prosper Star Trek GIF
Haha, thanks for the gift, I'm not dead yet! Spock is the right character, trying to mix my cerebral side with a little emotion.
 

RJMacready73

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Fucking sucks balls that does lad, sorry to hear it but If it where me and with no siblings to speak off I'd go fucking travel the world while you can and experience everything, hell take your mate with you, whaddya got 5yrs?

As for me if I kick the bucket, funeral costs are paid for, mortgage gets paid off and the wife gets a lump sum to look after her and the kids I don't need no hole in the ground to go into, fucking tip me into the sea cheers
 
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MrFancypants

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This makes me put my current predicament in perspective. I got robbed, but at least my life was not and is not in danger. Fuck, I’m sorry to hear about that. As mentioned already in the thread, if you have no children or siblings to take care of, I’d spend what money and time I have left travelling the world and taking in the sights we so rarely see. The Earth is a beautiful planet that we often take for granted, as too is life itself.
 

poppabk

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If you got no real family to worry about it seems like you can pretty do much whatever you want. Spend as much as you reasonably can on enjoying yourself and make sure you have a solid will and a trusted executor to stop the vultures from circling.
 

p_xavier

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Fucking sucks balls that does lad, sorry to hear it but If it where me and with no siblings to speak off I'd go fucking travel the world while you can and experience everything, hell take your mate with you, whaddya got 5yrs?

As for me if I kick the bucket, funeral costs are paid for, mortgage gets paid off and the wife gets a lump sum to look after her and the kids I don't need no hole in the ground to go into, fucking tip me into the sea cheers
I dunno, my red blood cell count is already way up high (can cause stroke/heart attack). It can be managed through medication but I just don't know at this stage, hence I need to prepare but I'm not dying as of yet. I have more tests planned so will know the timeline.

I was fortunate enough to live a great thirties decade where it was sex/drugs/trance music with lots of travelling. We are actually going to Hawaii in three weeks for my birthday. My twenties were something else with studies, and many many health issues. I would say I lived more in a decade than most in their lifetimes. I'm currently living the retiree lifestyle as it was a decision to focus on small things in life and enjoying the moment. I had already put a cross on my urban lifestyle. I now live in the country on a lake where I can fish and try to relax.
 
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p_xavier

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This makes me put my current predicament in perspective. I got robbed, but at least my life was not and is not in danger. Fuck, I’m sorry to hear about that. As mentioned already in the thread, if you have no children or siblings to take care of, I’d spend what money and time I have left travelling the world and taking in the sights we so rarely see. The Earth is a beautiful planet that we often take for granted, as too is life itself.
Like I had told you once, I restarted my life from nothing three times, so just be strong and try to enjoy even with the rough times. Half of the planet have truly horrible conditions, we can't complain that much.

And to be fair, it's probably my fault with all the booze and drugs I did. I'm surprised my liver didn't fail first.
 
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MrFancypants

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Like I had told you once, I restarted my life from nothing three times, so just be strong and try to enjoy even with the rough times. Half of the planet have truly horrible conditions, we can't complain that much.

And to be fair, it's probably my fault with all the booze and drugs I did. I'm surprised my liver didn't fail first.
I still have our chat thread in my inbox, and turn to it in times of turmoil. You truly are an inspiration, and I genuinely mean that. If I had even half the strength of character you have, I’d be the strongest person I know.
 
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p_xavier

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I still have our chat thread in my inbox, and turn to it in times of turmoil. You truly are an inspiration, and I genuinely mean that. If I had even half the strength of character you have, I’d be the strongest person I know.
Lol, not that much. But I try to be kind but I don't have the energy to have the burden of others anymore, but I will always try to listen. Well GAF was a life support for basically half of my life: when I got HIV, when I got cancer surgery, when I got my cranium surgery and many other times. I rarely post new threads as it always gave me anxiety, but I said why not today.
 

A.Romero

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Spend whatever you can and leave the rest to whoever made you happy the most in the last few years.

I've been thinking about this since last year. I live in a city away from my close family (they are scattered). I don't have kids, my bro doesn't have kids. Assuming I out live my parents, I'm having a hard time thinking about who to leave whatever I have (house, car, some money, lots of gaming shit). Either my brother (who is probably doing better than me) or just give it away to someone I feel might need it the most.

Best of luck getting through this.
 
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Superwave

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Fuck all that morbid shit. All of us are on limited time, handful of decades if we are lucky. Don't waste any time thinking about it or planning for it, you will outlive millions of people that have clean bills of health right now - they are obviously not preoccupied with death so you shouldn't be either.

Carry on as a mindless zombie like the rest of us. If you have money, enjoy it.
 

Sub_Level

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Hire an accountant to be your executor so they can manage distributing the assets to beneficiaries of your choosing. They will also handle your final tax return in your year of death and do your estate tax return, which will take another year or two beyond your death to close if you pkan to distribute out properties. This will make things easier for your friend(s) as well, since they will get the reportable info for their own taxes.

You may also consider gifting friends money before your death. Gifted money is not taxable income to them, nor is it taxable to you the donor unless we're talking 8 figures. It has its own tax reporting requirements that your accountant can help you out with.

TL;DR hire an accountant and/or an attorney. Most offer free consultations so you'll know if your situation is the right fit for them.
 

badblue

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Hey, I don't know if this is helpful but my wife is a wills and estate lawyer (so I know absolutely nothing.)

I'd honestly suggest getting documents done up like an enduring power of attorney and/or Personal directive (I'm using terms I'm familiar with, you may need to look into it for where ever you live). Basically it's a bit of legal document that allows who ever you've named in it to manage things for you in the event you are not able to your self. Make medical decision's for you, pay bills, manage things, etc. It's something that gets over looked but it can be super important if/when things go sideways. Most people assume that their spouse will automatically be able to do things on their behalf, but it's not always the case and can sometimes take a few very stressful months for it to get resolved.

I don't know if that is applicable to you, but it's worth looking into.
 

p_xavier

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Hire an accountant to be your executor so they can manage distributing the assets to beneficiaries of your choosing. They will also handle your final tax return in your year of death and do your estate tax return, which will take another year or two beyond your death to close if you pkan to distribute out properties. This will make things easier for your friend(s) as well, since they will get the reportable info for their own taxes.

You may also consider gifting friends money before your death. Gifted money is not taxable income to them, nor is it taxable to you the donor unless we're talking 8 figures. It has its own tax reporting requirements that your accountant can help you out with.

TL;DR hire an accountant and/or an attorney. Most offer free consultations so you'll know if your situation is the right fit for them.
Good idea. I was thinking of my best friend (hence why I asked). An accountant might be more neutral.

* I also can give you my Zojirushi smokeless grill in my will if you wish it so.
 

MachRc

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Sorry that you are estranged from your brother sucks to see this between families. Its happened to my best friend, and it got petty, and unsalvageable after their mother's death.
I just maybe hope that you just ..even consider listing them somewhere on the bottom of your cool list of things to do ,if you have some sort of list.
Going and giving it your best foot or even if its awkward and totally out of your way for family. [insert toretto meme] Seems like a good legacy thing to do.
Its just a suggestion from a stranger that doesnt know a single thing about your family dynamics so I apologize if its totally weird.


BUT, I heard you like trance music so I am putting the best trance music ive heard in awhile. Its pretty damn good set.


Maybe you can even see me in the video too!

Take good cares p_xavier!
 
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Razvedka

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I don't even know who you are, but this thread struck me and I hurt for you. As well, I deeply admire your strength.

There is a quote by Philip K. Dick in Exegesis that has stuck with me over time:

"The beautiful and imperishable comes into existence due to the suffering of individual perishable creatures who themselves are not beautiful... This is the terrible law of the universe. This is the basic law; it is a fact. Also, it is a fact that the suffering of the individual animal is so great that it arouses an ultimate and absolute abhorrence and pity in us when we are confronted by it. This is the essence of tragedy: the collision of two absolutes. Absolute suffering leads to — is the means to — absolute beauty. Neither absolute should be subordinated to the other. But this is not how it is: the suffering is subordinated to the value of the art produced. Thus the essence of horror underlies our realization of the bedrock nature of the universe."

Because you've confronted, and overcome, great suffering you've come out the other side as someone much wiser, much stronger, than most of us could ever aspire to be. From the sounds of it, you've also truly lived and learned how to enjoy life and to treat it as something precious. Little wonder you now face your own mortality with such resolve and grace.

From adversity came perspective and wisdom.

Your financial considerations seem largely in order. If there's any life insurance details for your employment, you might want to choose your female friend as the beneficiary. You should also consider a will, and making her or someone the executor of said will.

I think the most important part is really what you've already mastered: living life on your own terms.

I hope you come out on top once more, and continue to be a part of this community.
 
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p_xavier

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Sorry that you are estranged from your brother sucks to see this between families. Its happened to my best friend, and it got petty, and unsalvageable after their mother's death.
I just maybe hope that you just ..even consider listing them somewhere on the bottom of your cool list of things to do ,if you have some sort of list.
Going and giving it your best foot or even if its awkward and totally out of your way for family. [insert toretto meme] Seems like a good legacy thing to do.
Its just a suggestion from a stranger that doesnt know a single thing about your family dynamics so I apologize if its totally weird.


BUT, I heard you like trance music so I am putting the best trance music ive heard in awhile. Its pretty damn good set.


Maybe you can even see me in the video too!

Take good cares p_xavier!
I will listen to it for sure, actually someone who inspired me was M1chl M1chl , I was basically living through his stories about addiction. He worked with many of my favourite artists in production too, cheers to that.
 
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M1chl

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I will listen to it for sure, actually someone who inspired me was M1chl M1chl , I was basically living through his stories about addiction. He worked with many of my favourite artists in production too, cheers to that.
I still do work with them, I don't know mr. Connely, but others from Garuda, I am still learning and hoepfully one day I will produce my own tracks.

As for addiction, well... I got out of it, basically after death. You know the story...
 
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RJMacready73

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Lol, not that much. But I try to be kind but I don't have the energy to have the burden of others anymore, but I will always try to listen. Well GAF was a life support for basically half of my life: when I got HIV, when I got cancer surgery, when I got my cranium surgery and many other times. I rarely post new threads as it always gave me anxiety, but I said why not today.
Jesus mate you run over a gypsy comin back from a rave? Fair play to yee, it takes a helluva character to go through that shit and still come up top, I sincerely wish you all the best on your road ahead as you seem like a top bloke
 
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p_xavier

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Your financial considerations seem largely in order. If there's any life insurance details for your employment, you might want to choose your female friend as the beneficiary. You should also consider a will, and making her or someone the executor of said will.

I think the most important part is really what you've already mastered: living life on your own terms.

I hope you come out on top once more, and continue to be a part of this community.
Yes I do, and it's a pretty amount. Not to be over melodramatic which wasn't my intention in this thread. I come from an extremely poor family, at least from North American standards. My dad was an orphan, my mom was raped by most of her family members as a child and was adopted by other family members. We weren't rich while I was growing up. My dad actually worked overtime over many weekends to buy me for christmas, used copies of Zelda 2 and Metroid. It was a caring and loving (weirdly) situation. But I developed enormous anxiety over the years because of the expecations I had. I always needed to be the first in everything or would face extremely harsh reactions from my family. I ended up having the (still) highest grades in many subjects in Canada. My health was always poor, I missed like half my 12th grade in High School because of heart/pulmonary issues.

I had carcinoma skin cancer discovered in my late twenties, got over a hundred sutures, which I could show you still. I was disfigured much, spend a hundred of thousands on plastic surgery on my face and head while spending as much on two masters and a Ph.D. in engineering. I was sober until that time. At 30, still having much life anxiety I just broke down when having my first GHB vial. I was for the first time relaxed. The good kid went into an adolescent phase in his thirties, sex, drugs, alcohol while still being the most functional at work. I was leaving on a Friday night to Brussels and coming back Sunday night in first class from a rave. Did that many years, lost much of my money many times due to government errors which made me bankrupt, but still relieved. Started doing orgies, got HIV I don't remember how. Started doing porn, actually told I should do by my current coworkers. Really got into a dark space about a year ago. Gave up everything for the old rural healthy life. I still have most of my addictions but getting better, I feel happier. I consumed so much alcohol and drugs in the last decade that's about 75k$ spent. I do feel bad about it, it probably costed my life, but fuck, what a ride. It made me so happy even if it wasn't real happiness.
 
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p_xavier

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I still do work with them, I don't know mr. Connely, but others from Garuda, I am still learning and hoepfully one day I will produce my own tracks.

As for addiction, well... I got out of it, basically after death. You know the story...
Hence what I'm living through now and hopefully with the same ending as yours. Cheers mate.
 
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AJUMP23

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Establish a trust with your above average means and explicit instructions on how it should be used in your absence. (Scholarships or something). You could set it up to support needy kids in your local community.

provide an annual stipend for the managers of the trust after your death.
 

MaestroMike

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If I get some bad illness I'm taking all my money and moving somewhere with nice sunny year round weather by the beach and just go walking and swimming and eating good healthy food all day long until the day comes probably Hawaii or the Galapagos islands where those big giant turtles that live for centuries live.

Also, hope you get better.
 
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GymWolf

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Like I had told you once, I restarted my life from nothing three times, so just be strong and try to enjoy even with the rough times. Half of the planet have truly horrible conditions, we can't complain that much.

And to be fair, it's probably my fault with all the booze and drugs I did. I'm surprised my liver didn't fail first.
You are a better man than most dudes out there.
 
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bitbydeath

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Have you got a bucket list together?
Hope you live til your fullest mate.
We can all die anytime, it’s best to make sure we haven’t wasted it by just surviving til the next day.
When we die, we want to ensure we’ve lived.
 
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p_xavier

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Have you got a bucket list together?
Hope you live til your fullest mate.
We can all die anytime, it’s best to make sure we haven’t wasted it by just surviving til the next day.
When we die, we want to ensure we’ve lived.
I did what I could on my list. There are two things unresolved which I'm putting my energy on. First, I really want go write another book on AI. I miss the research rush, being all excited at 4am when you finally discover a way to optimize an algorithm. It would be a way to redeem my professional life, in my eyes at least.

Other thing might sound silly and is out of reach, but I would like to be loved by someone. I don't think I'm ugly, but I have a tough shell that's hard for many to get. I've mostly been alone all my life and while sex is easy to get, it rarely connects. For the few times it happened, it wasn't receprocal. I paid thousands of dollars in dating services and was told that I was too "unique".
 

Airbus Jr

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Stay strong man never give up

Theres no guarantee but if you keep up with chemotherapy or whatever doctors instruction it is theres always chance you can overcome this always believe in miracle nothing imposible in curing cancer

Edit : nobody support you for you medical needs? You dont have son/wife/other relatives? Insurance?
 
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bitbydeath

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I did what I could on my list. There are two things unresolved which I'm putting my energy on. First, I really want go write another book on AI. I miss the research rush, being all excited at 4am when you finally discover a way to optimize an algorithm. It would be a way to redeem my professional life, in my eyes at least.

Other thing might sound silly and is out of reach, but I would like to be loved by someone. I don't think I'm ugly, but I have a tough shell that's hard for many to get. I've mostly been alone all my life and while sex is easy to get, it rarely connects. For the few times it happened, it wasn't receprocal. I paid thousands of dollars in dating services and was told that I was too "unique".
Best way to meet people is to do some night activities, (see what’s going on in your local area where you’ve got a chance to interact with others, could even just be a trivia night etc) if they’re out by themselves then there’s a good chance they’re single or wishing they were.
 
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p_xavier

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Stay strong man never give up

Theres no guarantee but if you keep up with chemotherapy or whatever doctors instruction it is theres always chance you can overcome this always believe in miracle nothing imposible in curing cancer

Edit : nobody support you for you medical needs? You dont have son/wife/other relatives? Insurance?
I'm in Canada so it's covered, I live a 5 minutes walk from the hospital. I live alone and don't have family close by.
 
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p_xavier

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Well like to say a day is not like another, my mother just called me on the job screaming and crying, I though what horrible thing happened? My heart starting racing, my dad won 1M$ on a lottery ticket. They're picking up their money at the lottery centre right now. Thanks for the support last week. I decided to go full sober (well I don't have a choice). It's been a struggling weekend but the first night was the most difficult.
 
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