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Proper etiquette to ask out someone who's treating you in the medical field

DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
Is it doable in a non-douchey non-scummy way?

It's a professional setting, and in the medical field specifically, they're all trained to treat patients with the utmost kindness and care. So naturally they're going to be as affable and charming as they possibly can for good bedside manner. So it's harder to tell in this kind of setting if it's flirty or just them doing their job. 99% of the time it's likely them doing their job.

I've never asked anyone out in this kind of setting before. Last week, I thought I picked up on a little something, and for a brief moment pondered it, but decided against it. Attractive women in the medical field probably deal with a lot of shit from creepy dudes or overly aggressive dudes, and I didn't wanna be "one of those" because I've really never been at any point in my life. I get the shoot your shot logic too, but thought the likelihood of my instinct being right was far too low to justify being a creep and making every appointment thereafter super awkward for her.

Has anyone here just flat out asked out someone who was treating you in the medical field. Nurse, doctor, physical therapist, assistant, whatever? If so, what were the results?

(Btw, yes I know in many instances they must end your relationship as a patient if you do get in a relationship together)
 
This has to involve those kidney stones you were complaining about a few weeks ago. Was the nurse patting you on the back as you were forced to piss those rocks out?

 

M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
I did that, was fun, but thankfully she is no longer in same hospital. I have zero brain cells after transplant and my relationship was failing, so I said fuck it and I fuk it. I...was great, but given the situation, that she would remain in the same hospital where I have to go every month or so, not that great...
 

poppabk

Gold Member
Ideally, wait for the end of your time together so that it’s not an ongoing awkwardness she’s forced to remain there for. Otherwise, nothing wrong with asking a girl out. Unless you’re short, ugly, out of shape, or poor!
Generally if the only interactions you have had with someone is handing them cups of your warm piss you should not ask them out - unless they give a 'hmmm' of satisfaction when you give them the cup, you are into that kinda thing, and you don't eat asparagus.
 

DanteFox

Member
If you feel like you're making her smile and laugh a decent amount, or like she's being genuinely flirty, I say go for it. You could also ease into it and just make casual conversation first and off-handedly ask if she has any weekend plans (assuming you're there on a Thursday or Friday). This lets you see if she engages with more than a short answer and seems interested in reciprocating. If so, you can maneuver it into "I'm thinking about checking out this cool [event/museum/band/bar] in town." If you get the sense from there that she seems interested in joining you, you can then say "Yeah you can totally tag along if you want! haha. Just throwing it out there." Then play it off like you're almost just being nice, and you're absolutely going to do that thing, with or without her. This makes it lower pressure on her.

Step by step, my friend. :pie_raybans:👌
 
There is no proper etiquette to directly ask her out. You need to either go fishing and see if she takes the bait, or just throw a stick of dynamite in the water and when it blows up hope she lands in the boat.

EDIT: Either way it's probably a bad idea and 9/10 times I expect they're just trying to do their job well.
 
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Thaedolus

Gold Member
I think, ethically, she’s gonna need to wait until you’re no longer being treated by her.

Edit

…which you seem to know, after that just be like hellloooooo nurse and get her digits
 
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Good advice given earlier to wait to the end of your stay.

But honestly, anyone in the medical field is going to either be a raging asshole, or one of the most down to earth and unshockable people ever. You asking a nurse out is not going to make them that uncomfortable. They have seen 10,000 penises and shoved tubes into probably 5,000 of them. They've seen more feces, and blood than a janitor. And they've dealt with every type of crazy person imaginable. Nurses are fantastic people to date. I've never dated a doctor, but probably similar there but with more of an ego and a higher salary requirement to match them.

And most nurses that aren't doctor hunters are surrounded by women 24/7 at work, and tend to like guys.
 
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jshackles

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the capability to make the world's first enhanced store. Steam will be that store. Better than it was before.
Never ask someone out that works in the service industry if you're their customer, and you're at their place of business. Nurses, waitresses, hotel clerks, etc.
 
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Artoris

Member
Good advice given earlier to wait to the end of your stay.

But honestly, anyone in the medical field is going to either be a raging asshole, or one of the most down to earth and unshockable people ever. You asking a nurse out is not going to make them that uncomfortable. They have seen 10,000 penises and shoved tubes into probably 5,000 of them. They've seen more feces, and blood than a janitor. And they've dealt with every type of crazy person imaginable. Nurses are fantastic people to date. I've never dated a doctor, but probably similar there but with more of an ego and a higher salary requirement to match them.

And most nurses that aren't doctor hunters are surrounded by women 24/7 at work, and tend to like guys.
You sound like a cat person
 

DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
Good advice given earlier to wait to the end of your stay.

But honestly, anyone in the medical field is going to either be a raging asshole, or one of the most down to earth and unshockable people ever. You asking a nurse out is not going to make them that uncomfortable. They have seen 10,000 penises and shoved tubes into probably 5,000 of them. They've seen more feces, and blood than a janitor. And they've dealt with every type of crazy person imaginable. Nurses are fantastic people to date. I've never dated a doctor, but probably similar there but with more of an ego and a higher salary requirement to match them.

And most nurses that aren't doctor hunters are surrounded by women 24/7 at work, and tend to like guys.
Yes, I do respect that about nurses. When I was in the ER for the kidney stones, the pain was so intense in trigger a nervous reaction in my body and I felt like i was losing bowel control and I told one of the nurses I apologize ahead of time if I defecate myself and she was like no problem, don’t worry about it.

No, she wasn’t the one I’m talking about though 😂

And honestly, I was just curious if people’s take on the subject. This specific nurse isn’t someone I’m super interested in or anything. I think she’s pretty and thought there was a slight chance I picked up on something, but it was just a feeling and I wasn’t all giddy about it. Just made me think about if it’s ever ok to ask out someone in the medical field. I know it happens sometimes. But it’s probably rare.
 

billyxci

Permabanned.
i work in the medical field but not an attractive lady. don't do it. you might think she is flirting or whatever but 99.9% likely she is not. even if she did think you were attractive/cute there is no way she'd make any moves on a patient during working hours. it's completely unprofessional. you don't spend years educating and training yourself for a medical job to risk throwing it away. it's a big no to interact with patients in that manner.

it's their job to be friendly and comforting to patients. i get how people might get the wrong signals but trust me...she's not hitting on you. forget about it and move on.
 
I work in the medical field. It really depends what we are talking about here. Is she seeing you for something, forgive me, but gross? Because then I’d say no way.

If you’re going to do it, you need to be very casual about it and let her know it’s all good either way. I don’t think there is anything wrong with shooting your shot if the vibe is right, but be aware that they deal with legit creeps. A lot. So make sure you’re not that guy.

Only you can judge the nature of your situation. If you think she’s into you, I don't see the harm is asking her out for coffee or something. Nurses like coffee, in my experience. And I should know since I’m married to one.
 
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DragoonKain

Neighbours from Hell
Don't worry, I'm sure someone will post that they chatted up a nurse and how they are now married for many years with 2 children so you can ignore the majority advice that it's not a good idea to ask her out when she's working.

Me when I ask her out, she gives me her number and social media, and when I check her social media she has pronouns in the bio:

 

Rentahamster

Rodent Whores
That's rather bad form. She's treating you so being nice to you is part of her job. Be that as it may, wait until your treatment is finished, and be a gentleman and model patient in the meantime. If and when you do ask her out after her treatment obligation of you is finished, don't be a creep and make sure you can handle rejection well.
 
Don't do it while you're still her patient.

I'm friends with women who have been in the healthcare industry (nurses/dental hygienists) and food service industry (waitresses/bartenders/etc) and the cute ones, they have dudes hit on them all the time. The more awkward or weird the dude is when he did the asking out, the more it strains the ongoing professional relationship. In two cases it was so bad that they had to ask the patient/customer to be reassigned to somebody else.

While you're a patient, there's not a lot of potential winning. At best, if she thinks you're handsome, she may think you asking her out is flattering... But if she's professional and cares about her career, she will still turn you down.
 

Griffon

Member
For any girl that work in service/health, just don't make a move, if she finds you irresistible she will be the one to take a VERY obvious move on you.
Anything other than a crystal clear interest on her part is a big no.
 

Kenpachii

Gold Member
Pretty sure a nurse gets into trouble with her workplace when they find out she dates a patient. Which probably pushes her away instantly.

Would probably advice against it, u could always ask after u are done there if she wants to go out to eat something at some point or join up in something u are doing like a sport event or something with some friends if she got nothing else to do and maybe invite some of her friends with it. To make it a more casual event where u can basically get to know her outside of the whole nurse/patient solution. Just to get a ball rolling.

However keep in mind, u are probably number 300 that asked her out in her profession.
 
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So much of this depends on the details. Is she a nurse you’ll need to interact with a whole bunch in the future? Or is she some urgent care nurse you are seeing because you need an antibiotic for a sinus infection? Are you a guy who can both accurately determine whether she’s interested and comfortably handle rejection if you’re wrong? There are many factors here that really change what is appropriate or advisable.
 

Amory

Member
I don't think it's a good idea to ask out a medical care provider while you're a patient. Certainly not while they're at work. Even if they were inclined to say yes, the office/hospital probably has a policy against it.

If you happened to see them out somewhere that'd be different.
 
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