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[CreepingFear]

At least it's good that you talked about it before you got married, some people don't until it's too late. She either has to change her stance or you have to change yours. Do you really want to be with a woman that will force you to give up something so natural and pleasurable?

 

[Darryl]

i used to watch porn with one of my gfs and later on i found out that the idea of me watching it without her made her really upset. i think it can bring out insecurity or inadequacy issues. my policy for now on is to completely avoid the topic or lie about it unless i get firm signals from them that they're ok with it. i think a lot of girls haven't put the thought into it and don't realize what porn emotionally means for guys - not a whole lot.

 

[SJRB]

You should do whatever the fuck you want. If you gotta go, you gotta go.

 

[oxidax]

Maybe you SHOULD masturbate to the argument. Does she look hot when she's pouty?

ROFL!!! no she doesn't but im gonna find a way hahahah

 

[Strike]

No. It's perfectly normal. Plenty of couples watch porn together. See if you get her into that.

 

[Linkyn]

Honestly, I was half convinced EightBitNate had struck again.

The answer is no. If you feel like it, go ahead and masturbate. If she were worth a serious, long time commitment, she wouldn't care either way. Also, not being able to deal with your own insecurities and your partner's sexuality is what's immature about this situation.

 

[BuggyDClown]

I would never date someone like this, sounds insane.

 

[Devolution]

Get into her Manuel Ferrara.

 

[Pristine_Condition]

Some girls can tell when you lie to them and it causes more problems.

Best just to break up with the girl if you're not on the same page

Exactly.

If you are truly in a relationship with someone, whether it's an intimate relationship or even a business relationship, both sides are going to bring their own prerequisites to that relationship. If your disagreement with her terms, you should break up, rather than lying about it. Otherwise, going behind her back and lying about what you are doing is disrespecting her beliefs of what she considers is an important thing. The whole aspect of trust in a relationship ultimately comes down to the trust that each person respects the other. Carrying on a deception breaks that trust and is a sign of disrespect.

I'm not saying you should agree with her beliefs, just that if you don't, you should break up. There are plenty of women out there that have no problem with men using porn. Time to find one of those women to be with, if porn is an important part of your sexual lifestyle, and allow her the freedom to find a man that can respect her opinion on the matter. You'll both be fine that way.

 

[ishibear]

Watching pornography is normal, as is masturbation. From the sound of things, your gf is really frustrated and I wonder could she possibly have such a huge problem with you watching porn because of...

Well, you said you both work and there's a lot of factors that impede your sex life. She probably sees you watching porn and gets jealous because she would rather be the one you masturbate to, or maybe she just wants more sex? Maybe the lack of sex between you two makes her feel undesired by you.

I'm just trying to help but idk if I'm helping much.

But hey, maybe that's why she wants you to masturbate to the breakup (Aka her)?

 

[Nokterian]

Yep.

Heh first thing i thought of when i saw the thread title.

 

[Purple Cheeto]

You follow porn stars? On what, Twitter? I can see how that would bother a girl.

From experience if you can't reach an agreement on potn/jerking it the relationship likely won't last.

 

[freshlylickedcat]

No unless it's negatively impacting your sex life which does happen to people.

Sounds to me though her reasons revolve around insecurity. You either need to tackle those insecurities or find a gf who's okay with you doing it. Sexual repression isn't healthy.




Yes generalize us all, thanks.

Yes, he should breakup with his gf so he can jerk off more...that doesn't sound ridiculous at all. I don't think you should give advice.

 

[x Power Pad Death Stomp x]

No way man.

You don't have to leave your copy of "Asswhores from Planet Squirt" laying around out in the open, and if she's the type that's jealous about liking Facebook pics of models/celebs then stop that I guess. But no way man. No way.

 

[IsntChrisL]

I've seen a lot of girls hold this point of view. It's not until they speak to a group of girls that lay out the truth about men that they start to get it through their head that guys need sexual release on a regular basis. If she's only ever discussing it with a group of girls that parrot her assumptions, she's never likely to understand where you're coming from, because she doesn't want to. You're wrong, you're cheating, and you're an asshole.

So your best bet (outside of just lying about your beliefs/actions- which is a sign of a kind of shitty relationship anyway) is to get her talking to other girls that understand men better.

 

[oxidax]

both of you should masturbate while on the phone via phone sex.

Problem solved.

Done that. But sometimes shes just not available or asleep.

You can't contain the forces of nature.

Tell her that she can help you get off more then .

Just kidding, you said what you said about your schedules. She should, and she has to lighten up if she wants to have pleasing sexual relationships: it's impossible to think that someone will only ever find one single person sexually attractive and never jerk off, but it is definitely possible to stay commited to a relationship. Hell, she probably does it too, it's human nature... She sounds a bit too conservative, if you don't mind me asking, is she religious or is from a repressive family? That may be the source of the issue.

And of course, never go all bananas on the porn, dude. Never overdo it, balance.

Her family is Christian. Shes not so deep into it like her family is, but she goes to Church and sometime hangs out with the people from church and stuff. The first year was very very difficult because she didn't want sex until marriage and i was only 21 years old, with experience and was not going to wait until getting married to have sex with her. Hell, im still not thinking about getting married for another 2 or 3 years. I corrupted her and changed all that tho.

 

[Devolution]

Yes, he should breakup with his gf so he can jerk off more...that doesn't sound ridiculous at all. I don't think you should give advice.

That's not what I posted. Try reading it this time.

 

[User 100115]

Yes, he should breakup with his gf so he can jerk off more...that doesn't sound ridiculous at all. I don't think you should give advice.

Someone being that insecure about their SO watching porn is not a good thing. He needs to try to help her through that or A) Give up something that's totally natural and not a bad thing B) Find someone else.

 

[q_q]

She is insecure and honestly a bit sexist. That aside, if you two are actually still together, it's best to talk about this openly and come to a consensus. Even if that consensus is that you can't be together anymore. It's much better to settle this dispute now than to avoid the subject and take the relationship to the next level with that tension building underneath everything. It may be difficult but it's the best thing for the both of you. Some people just aren't compatible because of differing opinions on things like this.

 

[Miss.Selfdestruct]

Tell her there are three options.

1) She can be on call for your sexual needs at any moment.
2) She can let you masturbate when you feel like it.
3) She can let you fuck other people.

+1

Seriously. This is a discussion that should have been resolved during your first year if you were in the same spot then.

 

[GK86]

With my last ex, we would have sex multiple times a week and the both of us would still watch porn on a regular basis. I probably watched more than her though. She was totally fine with it or me drooling over models/celebs. And I was fine when she wet her panties hearing Usher's voice or whoever.

Watching and jerking off to porn is perfectly healthy and normal.

 

[breakfuss]

I don't understand why you need to share the fact you do with her, LOL. I'm sure lot of dudes probably continue with it while in a relationship but keep it to themselves. And while I wouldn't say it's unhealthy, I think the frequency and reasons you're doing it should be considered

 

[The Mule]

If your sex drive is higher than hers and you want to be monogamous, then you should absolutely watch porn and masturbate.

If she can't accept that, you should think about the sort of relationship you want.

 

[Freaky Fred]

Girls don't understand.

You have to play it off like, "eh every once in a while I will, its not that big of a deal."

You kinda ruined it already by saying and trying to justify that you do it regularly.

She is being unreasonable but she's a woman and she doesn't understand. If need be, if you really love her and don't wanna make a big deal about it, tell her that you think she's right and that you won't do it nearly as much.

Then jack it twice as much.

wow the ladies must love you.

You're pretty much saying OP should lie to his girlfriend and if she's still being unreasonable tell her she's right and then continue to ignore her feelings.

 

[Pau]

Masturbation is totally natural and anyone who expects their partner to stop doing it is being unreasonable. Porn is also totally natural and looking at other people naked does not in way mean cheating.

Pretty much this. The porn thing is probably from insecurity, especially if she can see the types of women you're watching and she feels like she can't measure up.

But the masturbation thing? I'm assuming she doesn't masturbate, like at all? She does know that many women in relationships masturbate fairly regularly too? If you're masturbating so much that it's replacing sex and your partner isn't happy with that, that's one thing. But that doesn't sound like the case at all.

Girls don't understand.

You do know that women masturbate right.

 

[oxidax]

I believe this is when you propose bringing a camera into the bedroom and making porn she will approve of.

You know what? i remember telling her a couple of months ago and she approved for a moment when i told her it was only for "personal use" for when shes not around but then she immediately declined.

 

[phoenixyz]

What? How do you know your sister enjoys porn?

Well, you know, that one time when she was visiting, they slept in the same room...

Spoiler

green sound waves

 

[Cameron122]

"That face you're making right now?"

"My grimace?"

"I imagine that face on Christy Mack's body when I stroke it."

 

[oxidax]

An hour? Geeze.

Im getting together a list of my favorite pornstars to lower that hahah

 

[SystemShock2]

I believe this is when you propose bringing a camera into the bedroom and making porn she will approve of.

Yep. Perfect solution.

 

[MVP]

Unless my girlfriend/wife plans on being unemployed and stands right beside me 24/7 just to blow me if I happen to get an erection, then I'll keep masturbating whenever I feel like it.

 

[oxidax]

I think broadcasting the fact that you like other women's (presumably) half naked pictures etc. is the big problem here. Sure, look at them and enjoy, but why the need to press like and confront her with the fact that you like seeing some woman half naked and masturbate to her? Seems weird to me. It's normal to look and enjoy other people, but if your likes are being broadcast for her to see and she feels hurt, why do it?

Edit: Her comment on the guy still masturbating after marriage is hilarious in a bad way though. I doubt anyone is having so much sex they never masturbate, let alone people who are married lol.

I know what you mean and i stopped doing it when she confronted me on that matter. I just never thought she would check all the likes and follows. I dont jerk off to those pictures tho, its only to porn.

 

[satori]

Anyways wtf is this shit? It is perfectly normal. My past GFs didnt care, and my wife dont care. We get busy. We get bored. We get the weirdest boner. We rub it out. Its not against her etc. She needs to grow up.

But jeez an hour brotha? You are doing it wrong... lol

 

[BadAss2961]

LOL

 

[Snuggles]

I jerk off more when I have a healthy sex life. It's a good thing. Pump that spunk out yo junk, ya chump.

 

[breakfuss]

Unless my girlfriend/wife plans on being unemployed and stands right beside me 24/7 just to blow me if I happen to get an erection, then I'll keep masturbating whenever I feel like it.

Just to be clear, I don't think masturbation is wrong while in a relationship. Like others have said, it's healthy. Just not sure I feel the same about chronic pornography viewing. Granted I still watch it, but I do make a conscious effort to watch wayyyyyy less than when I was single.

 

[JinjoUnchained]

She's clearly being unreasonable, based upon your description. That being said, unreasonable people don't know they are being unreasonable and have to be dealt with delicately. Are you invested in this relationship for the long haul? Do you want to marry her some day and start a family? If not, then lie to her about this for as long as you keep this going or break up.

If you do, then you need to go into mediation mode and resolve this. In a calm tone of voice, without judgment, tell her that you are concerned about her feelings on the topic. Ask her in a way that shows that you want her to be happy and are concerned about her emotions. You don't know, maybe she has some early life trauma revolving around porn that she's never dealt with. Then explain to her that men have different biological drives from women and that there is nothing wrong with following nature's way. Every guy needs to take the edge sometimes just to function. And that same biological drive for sex also drives men to be masculine in general, which I presume she likes because she has a boyfriend in the first place. It would be playing God for a women to say "be masculine, wait, not THAT masculine!"

If you talk to her like a reasonable adult with love and trust and demonstrate that you want it to work for both of you, then she'll respond positively if she's a good person. If not, get out of that mess, now. Don't let her ruin your future.

 

[CountAntonius]

If it bothers her and if it's something you want to keep doing then you probably shouldn't be with her. Some may say it's not a big deal but if it is to her and will always be then it's an issue.

 

[AMUSIX]

You could always help her get over her issues with masturbation.

Do it in front of her.




to pictures of your ex-girlfriends.

 

[The Return of]

She told me that i should think about the argument and masturbate to that

lmao even you have to admit OP this is funny

 

[Moppet13]

We actually watched that movie together LOL!
It was a terrible moment for me




Oh god are you talking about that thread??
I have a Sister and she enjoys porn.
Dont even..

What thread was that? It wasn't the one about the guy sleeping in his sisters bed was it?

 

[Cronox]

We hop into that Brazzers and spend at least an hour between browsing and jerking off.

An hour? Geeze.

Im getting together a list of my favorite pornstars to lower that hahah

A real man goes 90+ minutes at least. If the seat of your chair isn't soaked with ass sweat and you don't have 10+ unwatched videos queued to close in shame afterwards you're doing it wrong.

 

[fader]

Ded

 

[Azulsky]

She sounds insecure.

 

[Vesmir]

I brought this up with my girlfriend. Her response:

"It is a cowardly behavior that he (you) tries to make allies out of strangers on the internet instead of talking to (your) girlfriend. Neither of them are wrong and both of them have rights to demand equal actions in the relationship. It so happens that it is her taking actions. All he needs to do is respond, make a choice."

I made it clear that I didn't particularly agree with her response, but it's another perspective.

 

[DBT85]

An hour? Really?

 

[CreepingFear]

I brought this up with my girlfriend. Her response:

"It is a cowardly behavior that he (you) tries to make allies out of strangers on the internet instead of talking to (your) girlfriend. Neither of them are wrong and both of them have rights to demand equal actions in the relationship. It so happens that it is her taking actions. All he needs to do is respond, make a choice."

I made it clear that I didn't particularly agree with her response, but it's another perspective.

What happens on GAF stays on GAF. You can't rat us out!

 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Tell her you'll stop masturbating when she pries your penis from your cold dead hand.

 

[Tangeroo]

What thread was that? It wasn't the one about the guy sleeping in his sisters bed was it?

Guy watches porn on his iPad in his sister's bedroom with his sister in the room and doesn't realize the headphones aren't plugged in

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Twice a week what are you a monk?

I feel the need to cut down though because when I am dating someone it takes me forever to nut.