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Superman : If he can fight for the south or be a communist, why can't he...

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B

BuddyC

Member
...be gay?

Seriously.

Imagine a good writer (GOOD) handling a Superman/Batman miniseries where the heroes, well, fall in love?

I'm so dead serious here, I mean, seriously, they made a Superman OGN where Supes was just a fictional character in the writer's autobiography. Why not?
 
B

border

Member
Because it wouldn't be very interesting or entertaining.....putting him in a different setting or time period results in a more interesting narrative than changing his sexuality. It would just be a standard story with some gay make-out stuff...
 
ManaByte

ManaByte

Gold Member
Will he fight a giant spider or will Lex Luthor be his evil Kryptonian cousin and fight matrix-style in the sky with Supes?
 
B

border

Member
The only interesting angle would be to see how the public would react to a very openly gay Superman....one who was making out with another guy on TV and stuff like that. I don't think the world has ever had a figure who was truly a hero and also gay, so it might be interesting to see the reactions from bigots when someone undeniably great also turns out to be homosexual.
 
M

mrmyth

Member
Who the holy fuck, male or female, would want to date Batman? The guy's a psycho with a hair trigger. The minute Supes tried to leave his ass, Bats would pull out the Kryptonite ring he's been hiding for just such an occasion and suddenly the world finally does get destroyed because its two greatest heroes are stuck in the basement in a fucking Jerry Springer argument.
 
A

Alucard

Banned
Green Arrow is a total PIMP with the ladies. I mean, he's constantly having sex with Dinah in the comic and even had a little jungle fever in the Straight Shooter arc.

Oliver Queen = pimp. And making a well-known character gay OUT OF NOWHERE would be really gimmicky.
 
J

Jim Bowie

Member
mrmyth said:
Who the holy fuck, male or female, would want to date Batman? The guy's a psycho with a hair trigger. The minute Supes tried to leave his ass, Bats would pull out the Kryptonite ring he's been hiding for just such an occasion and suddenly the world finally does get destroyed because its two greatest heroes are stuck in the basement in a fucking Jerry Springer argument.
Click to expand...

Wait just a second, you! Batman is a crafty motherfucker, I'll give you that. But EVERYONE wants to date Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne is a martial arts expert, and a multi-millionaire at that. He's also devilishly handsome. Now if you want to say that Batman can kick Superman's ass, go ahead, since it's true. But all the ladies, and if Bats was gay, all the men, want to get down with the Batcock.
 
M

mrmyth

Member
Jim Bowie said:
Wait just a second, you! Batman is a crafty motherfucker, I'll give you that. But EVERYONE wants to date Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne is a martial arts expert, and a multi-millionaire at that. He's also devilishly handsome. Now if you want to say that Batman can kick Superman's ass, go ahead, since it's true. But all the ladies, and if Bats was gay, all the men, want to get down with the Batcock.
Click to expand...



The motherfucker could afford the best therapy in the world. Instead he put his resources into dressing like a bat and kicking people's asses at night. That's not quite balanced.

And Bruce Wayne is the real costume. Batman is the cat who owns that body. He just pretends to be sane during the day. This really isn't a cat you want to be your stalking ex, which he will be, because HE CAN'T LET GO OF SHIT.

To sum up, Batman=psycho.
 
J

Jim Bowie

Member
mrmyth said:
The motherfucker could afford the best therapy in the world. Instead he put his resources into dressing like a bat and kicking people's asses at night. That's not quite balanced.

And Bruce Wayne is the real costume. Batman is the cat who owns that body. He just pretends to be sane during the day. This really isn't a cat you want to be your stalking ex, which he will be, because HE CAN'T LET GO OF SHIT.

To sum up, Batman=psycho.
Click to expand...

Some guys murdered his parents when he was real young. He decided to get revenge on them. Do you think he's just going to buy a hit squad to find these guys and take him out when he's perfectly capable of kicking ass by his lonesome (save Robin)?

And another thing, Batman's the costume. He was born as Bruce Wayne, not Bats. He works everyday as BW, and then dons a costume to go battle for justice.

So to re-sum up, Batman= suave muthafucka.


Wait, what happened to gay Batman?
 
F

firex

Member
I was hoping this was going to be about Superman being black (Steel doesn't really count since he wasn't really Superman) but I guess that's even more unbelievable to most people than being gay.
 
M

mrmyth

Member
Jim Bowie said:
Some guys murdered his parents when he was real young. He decided to get revenge on them. Do you think he's just going to buy a hit squad to find these guys and take him out when he's perfectly capable of kicking ass by his lonesome (save Robin)?

And another thing, Batman's the costume. He was born as Bruce Wayne, not Bats. He works everyday as BW, and then dons a costume to go battle for justice.

So to re-sum up, Batman= suave muthafucka.


Wait, what happened to gay Batman?
Click to expand...


I'm saying Bruce Wayne doesn't exist anymore. Its just a persona, something Batman wears to keep up his resources that supply the crime-fighting. And I'm fine with revenge. But he gets revenge every.single. night. , from the crook robbing the liquor store to the Joker's latest plot. Dude, get over it. Talk to a psychiatrist. Move the fuck on. Willfully choosing to be fueled by anger and hate is not stable.

Batman is, once again, psycho. (Please note I'm not knocking the character. I just think he's nuts. And as much as I'd like to have the BatAnus torn asunder by Kryptonian wood, I'd rather not have the nutjob sleeping with the most powerful being on earth.)
 
R

RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
Jim Bowie said:
I don't think sexuality has anything to do with crimefighting. It's neutral. Like eating a sandwich.
Click to expand...

I think the best way of doing this would to just have him be gay. No gay parades, or dressing stereotypical. Just have the normal Superman story, and he goes home to a guy instead of a woman. I don't see why if they make something abnormal about a character that has no real relevance, it has to stick out.
 
B

BuddyC

Member
mrmyth said:
Name the person who could help him with that situation without using a Krytonite condom.
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This is easy - You make a special "Red Light" room that simulates the Kryptonian sun, thus stripping Superman of his powers and causing him to become, well, normal. Yea, I totally stole that idea from another comic, but they were using it to trap him - I'm just using it so that he can bone whoever.
 
G

GDGF

Soothsayer
I'f old Supes is getting it on with Batman, Supes would be the bottom (and Batman probably would wear a Kryptonite condom :))

Edit: or you could go with BuddyChrist's solution. Either, or :)
 
W

Wellington

BAAAALLLINNN'
BuddyChrist83 said:
This is easy - You make a special "Red Light" room that simulates the Kryptonian sun, thus stripping Superman of his powers and causing him to become, well, normal. Yea, I totally stole that idea from another comic, but they were using it to trap him - I'm just using it so that he can bone whoever.
Click to expand...

Red lights are considered 'sex lights', right?

Red Son rocked btw.
 
J

JoshuaJSlone

Member
border said:
Because it wouldn't be very interesting or entertaining.....putting him in a different setting or time period results in a more interesting narrative than changing his sexuality. It would just be a standard story with some gay make-out stuff...
Click to expand...
Accomplish all objectives (and then some) by having Superman in Sparta and Batman in Athens.
 
M

MASB

Member
ConfusingJazz said:
For threads as stupid as these, there is fan fiction.
Click to expand...
Exactly. Fan fiction is where bad ideas can come to light in a way that no one is compelled to actually pay money for. :p I don't know how many lame gay Buffy fanfics there are out there.

Angel: "Oh, will you spike me tonight?"

Spike: "I'm gonna do it real good Angel dear." :p :p
 
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