HappyBivouac
Member
wait wut
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Worst sex you've ever had?
- Thread starter MrOogieBoogie
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wait wut
?
Not prepared as in without a rubber on, it feels totally different. As in the first thought that enters your mind is "woweee," followed closely by "uh-oh." Or in other terms, I think some of the half-pipe runs from the Olympics might have taken longer.
Not many girls can take a BIG THICK DICK LIKE MINE without some foreplay bro.
HappyBivouac
Member
?
Not prepared as in without a rubber on, it feels totally different. As in the first thought that enters your mind is "woweee," followed closely by "uh-oh." Or in other terms, I think some of the half-pipe runs from the Olympics might have taken longer.
Ok, because I read it as "ew gross there's vagina all over my weewee"
Featheredkitten
Banned
I'm sitting in a quiet hall at my university and everyone just turned to stare at the sudden burst of laughter. Well done.
HAHA...gotcha. No no...vagina is and always will be fantastic.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
One can start foreplay with clothes on. Brain's the biggest sex organ, etc.
mullet2000
Member
Not entirely true, depends totally on the girl.
Honestly I don't think I've ever been with a girl that takes 5 minutes+. Hell, current girl is like....20 seconds.
Even if she doesn't "need" it, it's not a bad option. It's not all about making sure she's ready for you......
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
I've only ever been with one girl, but she's never taken more than five minutes to get... ready. She hardly lets me spend longer than five minutes on foreplay anyway. I don't think this is an uncommon thing; I'd say taking longer than five/ten minutes would be more uncommon if you're young.
mullet2000
Member
Huh? Who said I was only thinking about me? We were talking about the pure mechanics of being lubricated enough or not, correct?
Featheredkitten
Banned
So glad everyone has only been with women who are aroused in under five minutes. I sincerely hope that continues for you guys.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
We're just refuting your generalized claim with anecdotes. Of course it doesn't apply universally.
Featheredkitten
Banned
Studies show that average arousal time for women (And men, actually) is ten to eleven minutes. Not sure what the standard deviation is. Generalized, maybe, but scientifically generalized.
My "what the fuck" was aimed at the idiot who wouldn't stop playing with your vagina when you told him to. Sorry I didn't make that clear lol
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Studies show that average arousal time for women (And men, actually) is ten to eleven minutes. Not sure what the standard deviation is. Generalized, maybe, but scientifically generalized.
Could I see these studies? I'm not trying to be a dick, but I'm genuinely curious in the details.
Studies show that average arousal time for women (And men, actually) is ten to eleven minutes. Not sure what the standard deviation is. Generalized, maybe, but scientifically generalized.
Well statistically the average gaffer can get a woman wet and ready in half the time or less of a normal male so that makes sense.
killertofu
Member
What do I do if a girl wants me to choke her
As long as it's not with a cat I don't mind. If it bother you that much you are probably not the guy for her.
Ah yes I see now. I was thinking just length of foreplay in general, but yes, you're right.
VicDaMoan03
Member
I'm still waiting for the "Best Sex You Ever Had" topic but I'm too scared to create it.
mullet2000
Member
You do it!
HappyBivouac
Member
I can't.
il Diavolo
Banned
Your girlfriend was just watching you masturbate?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
How many women have you polled for this stat?
HappyBivouac
Member
Featheredkitten
Banned
I got distracted reading about this and but here's an article discussing the study
I'm bi, so....a few?
Count Dookkake
Member
Get a grip.
BigEvilTurtle
Banned
This is discussing arousal in response to porn. I may be alone in saying: porn doesn't get me up nearly as quickly as foreplay with a real person. I think it's quite different, but to each their own I guess.
We have this saying in Russia "Either pussy smells like fish or fish smells like pussy"
I would say nice pussy should smell like a freshly-cut salmon
I love how the original question FK responded to was how to fuck up sex in a 'Worst Sex Thread' and she responds 'not enough foreplay' and you guys argue about foreplay length in a 'Worst Sex Thread'.
I'll say this, I've never had BAD sex when I've done some proper fucking foreplay. How's THAT for anecdotal evidence.
I didn't conduct a survey with every woman I've slept with though, so who knows. :lol
I'll say this, I've never had BAD sex when I've done some proper fucking foreplay. How's THAT for anecdotal evidence.
I didn't conduct a survey with every woman I've slept with though, so who knows. :lol
?
Not prepared as in without a rubber on, it feels totally different. As in the first thought that enters your mind is "woweee," followed closely by "uh-oh." Or in other terms, I think some of the half-pipe runs from the Olympics might have taken longer.
Haha. Yea reminds me of my first time... didn't have a rubber and it was similar to what you describe.
Gentlemen, remember to wear a raincoat.
This comes to mind...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwzjGLWIAhM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwzjGLWIAhM
MemoryHumanity
Member
First time, of course.
Me:
Her:
Me:
Her:
depths20XX
Member
Memory, that was perfect
AngmarsKing701
Member
Seconded
il Diavolo
Banned
Huh. Seeing as I look and sound like Jabba the Hutt when I masturbate, I don't think I'd be comfortable doing it with my gf watching.
I've never had a random hook-up, so I have no idea. I didn't want to come off as coy or portraying myself as a master in bed, either. I think I do rather well, though, but that would only be due to not having any "moves", and to just find the whole thing extremely fun and interesting. I wouldn't tie any pride to it, either, because that would just leave me less likely to take in criticism. I'm much more about trying to bite here and tweak there, maybe while also touching over there. Then see how they react, feel their response through my fingers, through their expression. It sounds very ethereal and vague, but that's because it is.
I'd say, read up on techniques and things like "how to give oral well", but some of them might go "then tease her by nibbling up thigh, then down the other, but skipping the in between. The wait will build it up for her" - they're great tips, but you can't do that every time. It's all about just being spontaneous. Just do. Don't necessarily focus on her pleasure. I think it's amazing to see pleasure in her, so I like doing things that provokes that response. If I was there to plainly give her an orgasm, I'd probably not do so well. But I have to admit, I've picked up some of my core stuff from what others have written. You just have to process that all. Learn about the g-spot and even the e-spot. Just chew the information and try it out in your own way. If you're in a steady relationship, ask questions. Definitely not always, but sometimes it's good to just ask "could I touch you in a better way?" - I asked that once, and she proceeded to show me how she liked it. I just watched, which was awesome, then tried it out myself. Then I got very explicit feedback on when it was done right and not. Then you learn something about why sometimes it's just awesome, while other times it simply isn't.
She also once told me how she was amazed by my attitude in bed, pointing out a time early in our relationship that, after sex, I lied between her legs and just looked and marveled. I think it's just one of those things you'll be good at if you think it's fun.
I guess it's time to try and pin-point my worst time. I think I have to go with my first time with an ex. We'd been in bed together before, and we both came and had an amazing time, but there was no penetration. I was looking forward to our first time, and we had agreed that it would be better to just wait for her period to end. However, she couldn't contain herself the next time we were together. Despite my pointing out our previous agreement, she was very pushing towards wanting to have sex. We both came, and she insisted on removing and disposing of the condom. It was just an uncertain situation. I had never had period-sex before, and I hadn't imagined my first time with her would be that. It wasn't the fact that it was period-sex, it was just the fact that I had no idea what to expect of a mess, and that it was on the couch, and that I basically said that wasn't how I envisioned it that made it not so good. But, hey, it wasn't bad, either. I guess I haven't had any bad experiences.
Or maybe the time she brought chocolate syrup to the bed, and we had fun putting it on each other and licking it off, proceeded having great sex, but also forgetting that the bottle was still in the bed. Having to explain to my mother why there were chocolate stains on my pillow and pillow-case, and of course also explicitly say that it was in fact chocolate syrup, was rather awkward. She didn't ask why that was there.
Haha. Amazing.
HappyBivouac
Member
I think we're on the same page, then.
My first sexual relationship, at 19, was with a girl who seemed really.. non-hormonal. It's like she wanted sex because she thought she was supposed to want it, but the actual chemistry was barely in her. She once said something about her mom giving her pills in her pre-teens "because her boobs were growing too fast and too early" which sounded pretty fucked up to me. Dunno if that has something to do with hormonal issues. Anyway, sometimes the sex would suddenly be amazing, but usually she was kind of only half into it. It didn't feel genuine. Somehow we stayed together for 3.5 years, and that did a number on me psychologically I think. Worried too much that I just couldn't please her. We were so incompatible on so many levels, though, but we got attached.
Fast-forward a couple years with a few flings, a few heartbreaks, some good sex but not a lot of "love," attachment or emotion. Current girlfriend has made all the difference in the world now. She's... relatively inexperienced and yet it's so spontaneous and fun and amazing between us. Sorry for the brag if that counts as one. Sadly, we're long distance now. In fact we're about as far as we can possibly be from each other without leaving planet Earth. Sucks. Trying to keep the romance up somehow.
That whole tangent aside, my point is that I really do believe some people are less sexually compatible than others. If you get with someone and, despite having feelings for each other, you just can't get on the same wavelength sexually, it isn't necessarily all your fault. S/he might just be the wrong person. So keep that in mind, I guess.
Thequietone
Member
Probably this one girl I picked up one time. She kept wanting to take smoke breaks in the middle of doing it, which made it impossible for me to adequately perform. Like every 2 minutes. She was also into pain and I wasn't. I didn't mind giving her pain but she insisted on doing the same things to me. Both were huge turn offs for me and made the night very difficult to enjoy.
My gf has told me if she ever caught me masturbating she would offer to help me out, but I don't think she knows how weird and sad it looks. There's nothing sexy about jerking off.
PflargBlarg
Member
I'd say this one time where she jumped on a little too enthusiastically and tore something on me. It was a really tiny tear so it was like a brief stab of pain and then no problem. I don't think she even knew. I took a look afterwards just to be sure and everything is a-ok now.
perfectchaos007
Member
Instead of using waggle, keep your hand idle and use your pelvis to thrust. Then at least it looks a little more natural.
That's not bragging. That's just you being in a good place. I hope you can keep it up long distance. Communication is important, here. Although, whenever is it not?
Yeah, it's definitely true. Aside from some people having preferences that obviously isn't compatible with someone else's preferences, sexuality and relationship is a game of rhythm to me. If you both swing in harmony, or in two periods that align well, there's something inherently 'right', in my book. If your tempo and rhythms don't align, then one will play catch-up to the other.
I don't think I can sound any more ethereal than that, so let's leave that tangent. I guess some people are better at attuning to others, and might have a broader range of compatibility.. oh, there I go again.
Best of luck, anyway!
DUFFMCWALIN
Member
Choke her and learn to get aroused by it.
please don't sexually assualt or rape someone. I had an ex who liked being chocked and that was hands down the best we had together.
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