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My coworker thinks I'm stalking her because I found her home address on a website

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People need to get off their high horse and stop pretending like they've never googled someone.
Also stop redefining the definition of stalking.
I agree this is far from stalking. Not sure why people keep saying it.

It's just really creepy to be told what OP told her. That wasn't a great idea.
 

Veitsev

Member
OP I think you should send her some flowers, ya know, to blow things over. You even know here address anything so its easy.
 
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Kyuur

Member
People need to get off their high horse and stop pretending like they've never googled someone.
Also stop redefining the definition of stalking.

I hope no one in the thread is actually seriously accusing the OP of stalking. It's a weird thing where everyone does it but getting caught doing it is a major taboo.
 

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
Bruh I'll look up a girl on Facebook before asking her out to see if she has a boyfriend or some shit but looking up all that personal shit, and then telling her about it? Come on, man.
 
The next day I found a website that taught me finding information about people doesn't take even the hours or creditcard info I thought it did :

https://floridaresidentdb.com/

Apparently you can find someone's email, phone number, date of birth, which political party they're associated and home address. I was curious who I could find and search myself, my roommate, my cousin in the same apartment complex as me, my mom and even a few coworkers.

So, you're stalking people.

moments later in the bathroom she goes to a coworker "You wouldn't believe what Jaded just did : Before he asked me out and now he's stalking me."]

And you found this out... how?...

GAF, What stories do you have of people totally missing the mark and thinking you're something or someone you're not?

...
...
...
 

vatstep

This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
OP, you've been around a while, you should know how this place works. What were you expecting to come of this thread? lol
 
OP, you screwed up by telling her how you knew the info. Bad idea.

But if HR gets on your case about it (which they probably wont) just tell them you thought she showed interest so you used one of the dozens/hundreds of free websites to make sure she wasn't a former criminal of some sort. Most HR departments use the same websites for easy to access free background checks. If that doesn't fly, so be it.

All in all, I wouldn't worry about it. Just treat her as a regular coworker from here on out.
 

Mistake

Member
For the hell of it I once said to a girl "I bet your room is in the top right back part of the house." Well, turns out I was right. Things were more awkward after that
 
...

I'm the only idiot who does weird things, yea, right; Thanks friends.



She was on my mind and has an obscure last name, I was testing the system that even had my apartment number on it.

I don't think about her any more than the several seconds I interact with her at a time each day. The date I gave my number and left at that. No call or texts, friendly at work, that simple.

It's a restaurant so I'm sure I'm fine.

I shared it because I get hyper when I'm bored, it was between lunch and dinner, we were talking and I say dumb things.



The other girl is my friend and we've been hanging out daily for like 2 weeks now.
Googling ia fine, but what you did was a little over the top.

Also, even if you did google, which most people do anyway the last thing you should do is tell them you did it. Dont be surprised if someone freaks out when you admit you looked them up, especially after you just showed an interest in them.
 

Chococat

Member
Yeah, that's stalking.

If you truly just checking out if the search work, you would have limited your self to family and friends whom you know personal information about.

Checking on a work mate who is not a personal friend for a test is not cool at all.
 
wait so

you think this girl displayed interest by asking if you have a girlfriend

then the next day you COINCIDENTALLY find a database of people living in your state

then you let it slip you looked her up.

....so exactly how did you come across this database unless you were looking for it?
 
my dude you could have just said facebook or something like that.

"No I looked up your financial and political information on this shady website"
 

Ishan

Junior Member
Yeah she's fine being weirded out by it even if a girl I thought was super attractive if I'd just met her and she knew random personal stuff about me I'd be freaked as a guy and put distance .
 

weekev

Banned
...

I'm the only idiot who does weird things, yea, right; Thanks friends.



She was on my mind and has an obscure last name, I was testing the system that even had my apartment number on it.

I don't think about her any more than the several seconds I interact with her at a time each day. The date I gave my number and left at that. No call or texts, friendly at work, that simple.

It's a restaurant so I'm sure I'm fine.

I shared it because I get hyper when I'm bored, it was between lunch and dinner, we were talking and I say dumb things.



The other girl is my friend and we've been hanging out daily for like 2 weeks now.



We talk for several minutes every few days so most days we dont even see each other.

I know how to act socially - I'm a server - I just share too much sometimes. I remembered her birthday was the same month as month, nothing more.
Sorry but given your first post your gonna need to clarify "hanging out". Like does she walk 6 yards in front of you at all times?
 
I know how to act socially - I'm a server - I just share too much sometimes.


No, no you apparently don't know how to act socially. The issue isn't that you mentioned your actions to her, but in your actions themselves. Looking up someone's personal info just because she asked you if you were dating someone is not what most people would do.

Can you at least understand how creepy you are coming off, and how unpleasant that must be for the girl you work with?
 

jadedm17

Member
I agree this is far from stalking. Not sure why people keep saying it.

It's just really creepy to be told what OP told her. That wasn't a great idea.

I get hyper when I'm bored and love to talk and listen; She sat near me and started talking to me so I opened up too much.

The creepiness I agree, which is why I was hoping for some similar stories.
 

Maximo

Member
Reminds me of that thread a month or two ago about the dude snitching on his female coworker because she paid attention to another guy, and wondering why people think he goofed.
 

Solaire of Astora

Death by black JPN
You fucked up, OP.

And I have to say, regardless of your intentions, there's no way you're not going to come off as a creep after all this.

About 12 years ago, I left my small hometown in the countryside and moved to Glasgow. I started a job at a fairly big company, and after a few days, this creep who sat across from me suddenly started telling people stories about me in high school. Nothing too bad. Just things like how I broke my arm, how I was a big WWF fan in high school or the time some girl yelled at me and threw a food tray at me in the cafeteria (complete misunderstanding, btw... We're actually friends to this day)...

The thing about this guy, is that he was several years older than me and grew up in a different part of Scotland, and yet somehow, after a few days of working with me, he's already managed to find out all this information about me. And he's sitting across from me with a smug look on his face telling everyone about me. I don't know what his fucking problem with me was, but he eventually shut up when I pointed out how we had never interacted before, and the fact that within a few days of meeting me, he had obviously talked about me to his friends outside of work, leading someone to say "Oh, I know that guy!" was pretty creepy.

He also used his knowledge to call me a liar on certain things... Like how he said I was lying about having passed my driving test or about having played gigs with a band... I wasn't actually lying about those, it just turned out that his information was all out of date. He seemed like he was out to embarrass me, but he only really embarrassed himself. That guy was creepy. I hadn't thought about that in several years, but reading the OP reminded me of that.
 
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