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British tabloid: Spiders plotting to kill us all, become smarter, bigger than humans

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Kabouter

Member
Hilariously exaggerated story required exaggerated title.

Spiders are getting SMARTER: Shock as arachnids evolve faster to 'catch up' with humans

SPIDERS have grown to record sizes this autumn and now researchers fear they are also getting SMARTER.

With the sudden arrival of cold weather, MILLIONS of spiders are desperately scurrying into UK homes.

And now it seems the beasts, which have grown to record sizes this year after a hot dry summer, are ADAPTING to the threat of humans and even LEARNING how to avoid being captured and killed.

They are also getting FASTER AND more VICIOUS as they are forced to adapt to rapid environmental change.

There are already some extraordinary examples of spiders learning – the video below shows a pet spider PLOTTING to open its glass cage – and it can be seen sliding open its door to escape.

Experts believe that the increased pressure to adapt to environmental changes and the urbanisation of the planet means some spiders and other insects are in a period of 'accelerated evolution' - and are getting smarter QUICKER than humans.

This is not unheard of in nature – Cambridge University natural sciences graduate, Katy Horder, said: "Looking at past events can often be useful in predicting the future, and it appears that an increase in temperature 50 million years ago resulted in a great diversification due to an increased rate of evolution in insects and bats.

"This is in fact thought to be the point at which several types of bat evolved aviation and sonar abilities to seek out their newly evolved insect prey."

A University of Leeds study recently shattered the belief that evolution can only occur gradually over hundreds or thousands of years.

Researchers studied soil mites and discovered that - because of changes to their environment - they began to compete in dramatically different ways, radically propelling the speed of their evolution.

The study found huge changes could occur in just 15 generations.

Terrifyingly, most spiders only live for ONE year, meaning genes are passed on far more rapidly than in humans and hugely increasing the shock impact of accelerated evolution.

Professor Tim Benton, of the University of Leeds' Faculty of Biological Sciences, said: "Short-term ecological change and evolution are completely intertwined and cannot reasonably be considered separate.

"We found that populations evolve rapidly in response to environmental change and population management. This can have major consequences."

Lead author Dr Tom Cameron added: "We saw significant evolutionary changes relatively quickly.

"The age of maturity of the mites in our study doubled over about 15 generations, because they were competing in a different way than they would in the wild."

With more and more homes being built in the UK, spiders are being forced to set up camp in warm garages and houses – another radical change to their natural environment.

And with the threat humans wanting to catch or kill them, they are being forced to adapt fast.

Urban spiders have grown to record sizes this year and faced with the bitter cold and lashing rain they are now scampering inside warm homes to breed.

Mark Bushell, invertebrate expert at Bristol Zoo, said: "At this time of year male house spiders come in looking for females as they can often be found in safe places such as houses or sheds.”

Spiders like dark, unswept areas and are often found in rafters and under floorboards as well as lurking in airing cupboards, and under sofas, fabric chairs and beds.
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/lat...-intelligent-larger-evolve-faster-than-humans

Tabloids reporting on science are the best, it's the capitalized words that really make this a trustworthy report I feel.

clever-girl8hj3m.png
 

Into

Member
Are spiders really "beasts"? I thought to be a beast you have to be..bigger? Like a bear is a beast or a wolf, but is a spider or even a snake a "beast"?

Perhaps my understanding of the word beast stems from playing a Hunter in World of Warcraft =P
 

Real Hero

Member
I have had more massive spiders in my house than ever before this year. I saw one crawl up the side of my bed. I didn't sleep much that night.
 
I hope so!

if they can be as smart as dogs and cats I can put a leash on one and walk it around town, it'll be so cute <3


and I won't need to keep it in a little glass prison, either, he can just roam around the house and stuff and I'll feed him beetles


I'll name him and his annual replacement Stuart

then when he grows large enough to eat me, no messy burials or cremation costs!




I wish it were socially acceptable to let spiders live in your house
 
I've recently had my kitchen renovated and during the first week something bit my main builder which caused him to spend a couple of days in hospital and unable to walk properly for 2-3 weeks.

I went to see him as he's a family friend and his leg and ankle were about three times the usual size, leg had turned a very dark red/black below the knee and you could see a darker patch on his calf with two little puncture marks.

Not saying this was a spider and the Hospital didn't seem to concerned with what actually caused it, but suffice to say I'm a little bit more cautious about picking up bugs in my house now!

This is the UK I thought we were safe!
 
Knew it was the Daily Star, they recently ran a front page headline about killer rats taking over the UK, oh and black eyed ghost children.
 

Yagharek

Member
I've recently had my kitchen renovated and during the first week something bit my main builder which caused him to spend a couple of days in hospital and unable to walk properly for 2-3 weeks.

I went to see him as he's a family friend and his leg and ankle were about three times the usual size, leg had turned a very dark red/black below the knee and you could see a darker patch on his calf with two little puncture marks.

Not saying this was a spider and the Hospital didn't seem to concerned with what actually caused it, but suffice to say I'm a little bit more cautious about picking up bugs in my house now!

This is the UK I thought we were safe!

Probably just an Australian spider on a working holiday.
 

Slowdive

Banned
Ah the Daily Star, 3 days of headlines from last week:

By-bJM7IIAA1jP9.jpg:large


They've already had front pages telling us false widow spiders are going to kill us all last year as well.
 

Clegg

Member
Ah the Daily Star, 3 days of headlines from last week:

By-bJM7IIAA1jP9.jpg:large


They've already had front pages telling us false widow spiders are going to kill us all last year as well.
They went back to the ghost kids today. Haunting a Big Brother contestant now.
 
That Daily Mail cover is a work of art.

As fur the Daily Star, weren't they running a story about killer rats not so long ago? They seem to have really gone off the deep end in recent months.
 
Ah the Daily Star, 3 days of headlines from last week:

By-bJM7IIAA1jP9.jpg:large


They've already had front pages telling us false widow spiders are going to kill us all last year as well.

Wow...

I'm heard of how ridiculous some of these UK newspapers are, but that takes the cake. No wonder so many people believe this shite when the media pushes supernatural beliefs.
 

Soriku

Junior Member
There's only one solution. It's time to accelerate our own evolution to fight this menace.

Better start breeding faster too.
 

Mask

Member
Wait a minute... I live in the UK! Better keep an eye on my baby Tarantula then, he'll be learning how to build nukes within the week if I'm not careful!

This shit makes me laugh so much. My mum always shows me these stupid horror stories about Spiders and whatever other insect they can make a scaremongering story about, an I just laugh and tell her the truth about that particular spider. Stupid shit like that doesn't work on someone who owns and is knowledgeable about spider species.
 
Fuuuck.
Spider gifs are the worst.

Pretty sure it's fake. the biggest spiders that can jump like that are Huntsmen, and they look nothing like that. If a big tarantula jumped at that height it'd die on landing. They can't handle falls at all well.
 
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