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Humour: things you have to believe in to vote Republican

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darscot

Member
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad
guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with
China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest
national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches while slashing combat pay and veterans' benefits.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care
to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offence.

A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is
solid defence policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George
Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers
for your recovery.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can
tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what
Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
 

darscot

Member
I'll just got this e-mail and it made me smile. I'm a Canuck though so it's not a major issue to me. Feel free to give it the boot if it's old.
 

IJoel

Member
It's an oversimplification of the facts, but it outlines major points which I believe are more than reason enough to get Bush out of office.
 
I seem to remember hearing from certain GA conservatives, that conservatives were often able to take humor lopped at them by liberals, yet liberals can't do the same. Judging by the reactions of conservatives so far in this thread, HMMM... HMMM...
 

human5892

Queen of Denmark
Yeah, it's not so much humor as it is a set of points designed to outline the hypocrisy in many of the stereotypical Republican ideologies. As someone said, it may be a little oversimplified, but I would hardly call it untrue.

It's funny in a, "Hey, yeah!" kind of way.
 

Lathentar

Looking for Pants
Sirpopopop said:
I seem to remember hearing from certain GA conservatives, that conservatives were often able to take humor lopped at them by liberals, yet liberals can't do the same. Judging by the reactions of conservatives so far in this thread, HMMM... HMMM...

The thing is, its not humor.
 

Iceman

Member
yeah, the thing is these are political points brought up by the left all the time. Hardly stand up comedy material.
 
I wish the US would just bury the hatchet with Cuba. It costs the US about 2 billion or more a year in lost trade alone for this silent war.

The US also spends 43 million a year trying to reach Cuba with TV broadcasts which the Cuban government just blocks.

As far as I'm concerned Fidel did the right thing in kicking the imperialists out. His socialist policy is fine by me too because at least people get food, housing, clothes, and healthcare. The dissapointing thing is Fidel's human rights record is poor.
Then again, Cuba is the US's favorite place to torture their prisoners.

I'd love Canada to take over Cuba after Fidel dies. Cuba and Canada have always been friends and the socialism of both places would probably mix well. That and Canadian style capitalism wouldn't be too much of a culture shock to the people there.
 
Fidel's a robot, he's never gonna die.

shhhhh-man.gif
 

FightyF

Banned
It's funny because these facts are ridiculous if you think about them.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers
for your recovery.

AHAHAHAH!

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest
national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

*shakes head*, it's more sad than funny.
 
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