Fantastapotamus
Wrong about commas, wrong about everything
So I replayed Portal 2 the other day for the first time since it's release, way back in 2011. I should also say that I have no idea what the general internet consensus on Portal 2, it's story and it's characters is. Are they beloved? Or is Portal 2 another one in the long line of "worst game evar"s? Well, what I can tell you is that I haven't been as hyped for a game since Portal 2 came out and this was one of the rare cases when the game met all my hopes and dreams. I spent hours playing games I didn't even like to accomplish dumb tasks to earn potatoes. Yeah, remember that? Remember just playing a particular game to somehow fill some meters on some weird website about potatoes (and sometimes the face of the G-Man )?
That whole ARG thing was a very good indicator about how much Portal has changed. And had to change. Remember when Portal 1 came out and everybody was like "Oh neat, some dumb puzzle thingy is on my Half-Life/Team Fortress DVD". And then slowly but surley discovering what Portal was until it became the darling (and bane) of the entire internet? Discovering that Portal 1 is more then a funny Puzzle game and actually has a world and a mythology attached to it was probably the greatest moment of the last generation for me. And Portal 1 is easily one of my favourite games of all time.
So, how do you follow up on that? How do you make a small, unknown side dish into it's own full meal? You do it like Valve did. You change shit up. And you don't include jokes about a cake (except for that one)
GladOS is undoubtedly the star of Portal 1 and one of the most iconic characters of the last generation but at the end of the game, not only do you kill her, but you also "get" her. She is a sarcastic megalomaniac rogue AI. Got it. So Portal 2 is very much not about GladOS. The real star of Portal 2 is Aperture Science and the facility you are trapped in. A large percentage of the game doesn't take place in the iconic Test Chambers but behind the scenes allowing you to marvel at the seemingly endless facility and all the complex mechanisms within it. There are so many little touches everywhere, from single panels fixing themselves or being replaced to Wheatley moving around entire rooms. And, of course, the game throws you deep into the belly of the beast, letting you run around in the old Aperture Science Testing Facility and learning about it's history. Again with a lot of little touches everywhere, like a bunch of "Runner Up" awards, presumable behind Half-Life's Black Mesa.
And then there is the ending. Again, I have no idea what people think about Portal 2's ending. But I can say that it was a game that kept me guessing the entire time. "How can this game possibly end?". A lot of video games end in a very predictable way but not Portal 2 (at least not for me). It's over-the-top happy ending is so untypical for the, let's be honest here, very depressing and gruesome universe it is set in. And the game knows that and really messes with your expectations before delivering the almost sickeningly sweet (well, except for one thing...) ending that still feels completely deserved.
Also Portal 2 was the game that finally made me realize how great Valve is at creating villains without making them unrealistically evil. In fact, in Portal 2 they almost make them too sympathetic. In the beginning of the "Old Aperture" part of the game Valve paints a pretty clear picture of Aperture's former CEO Cave Johnson: He is a dick (basically). But then, his last few recordings are....somewhat sad. You're not used to hear the big bad CEO of the big bad corporation slowly dying because of some cancer. Hell no, I should be destroying his mech with him angrily shaking his fist, yelling "CHEEEEELL" as he blows up. Instead he sounds resigned and the last words you actually hear from him are not concerned with his own wellbeing but with the wellbeing of somebody else.
And then there is Wheatley who really is one of the best characteres ever put in a video game. His lines, and especially their delivery by Stephen Merchant are just spot-on the entire time. He is just a loveable doofus that you can't help but like even when he tries to kill you. But that wasn't good enough for Valve so they decided to add something to the character. During the final encounter you get to hear soemthing really unexpected that somewhat changed my perception of the character.
"Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Well, I thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did. You didn't think you were the first, did you?No no no. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five... You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you what happened to them: they died. Horrifically. They all died horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there."
Stuff like this really adds to a character, even if you hear it just at the end of the game. And, like with Cave Johnson, the last thing you hear from Wheatley is something way more sympathetic and somber. He apologizes. Again: Hearing the final boss of the game apologizing in a versy sincere way is not something you are used to. It's not even like he is trying to save himself, it's the after credits scene and all is already lost for him as he is floating through space, possibly forever.
At this point I have no idea what a potential Portal 3 would even look like but I really hope Valve can abandon Chell and GladOS for it. Their story is done and there really doesn't need to be a "But whoops, it was all just an illusion, you are still trapped and GladOS is still an asshole" or "You actually died moments eariler" revelation. Let a happy ending be a happy ending sometimes.
Tl;dr: Portal 2 is everything a sequel should be, the writing is amazing for the most part, I love it and if you disagree then YOU are a cake and therefore a lie and an outdated internet meme! Take that.
That whole ARG thing was a very good indicator about how much Portal has changed. And had to change. Remember when Portal 1 came out and everybody was like "Oh neat, some dumb puzzle thingy is on my Half-Life/Team Fortress DVD". And then slowly but surley discovering what Portal was until it became the darling (and bane) of the entire internet? Discovering that Portal 1 is more then a funny Puzzle game and actually has a world and a mythology attached to it was probably the greatest moment of the last generation for me. And Portal 1 is easily one of my favourite games of all time.
So, how do you follow up on that? How do you make a small, unknown side dish into it's own full meal? You do it like Valve did. You change shit up. And you don't include jokes about a cake (except for that one)
GladOS is undoubtedly the star of Portal 1 and one of the most iconic characters of the last generation but at the end of the game, not only do you kill her, but you also "get" her. She is a sarcastic megalomaniac rogue AI. Got it. So Portal 2 is very much not about GladOS. The real star of Portal 2 is Aperture Science and the facility you are trapped in. A large percentage of the game doesn't take place in the iconic Test Chambers but behind the scenes allowing you to marvel at the seemingly endless facility and all the complex mechanisms within it. There are so many little touches everywhere, from single panels fixing themselves or being replaced to Wheatley moving around entire rooms. And, of course, the game throws you deep into the belly of the beast, letting you run around in the old Aperture Science Testing Facility and learning about it's history. Again with a lot of little touches everywhere, like a bunch of "Runner Up" awards, presumable behind Half-Life's Black Mesa.
And then there is the ending. Again, I have no idea what people think about Portal 2's ending. But I can say that it was a game that kept me guessing the entire time. "How can this game possibly end?". A lot of video games end in a very predictable way but not Portal 2 (at least not for me). It's over-the-top happy ending is so untypical for the, let's be honest here, very depressing and gruesome universe it is set in. And the game knows that and really messes with your expectations before delivering the almost sickeningly sweet (well, except for one thing...) ending that still feels completely deserved.
Also Portal 2 was the game that finally made me realize how great Valve is at creating villains without making them unrealistically evil. In fact, in Portal 2 they almost make them too sympathetic. In the beginning of the "Old Aperture" part of the game Valve paints a pretty clear picture of Aperture's former CEO Cave Johnson: He is a dick (basically). But then, his last few recordings are....somewhat sad. You're not used to hear the big bad CEO of the big bad corporation slowly dying because of some cancer. Hell no, I should be destroying his mech with him angrily shaking his fist, yelling "CHEEEEELL" as he blows up. Instead he sounds resigned and the last words you actually hear from him are not concerned with his own wellbeing but with the wellbeing of somebody else.
And then there is Wheatley who really is one of the best characteres ever put in a video game. His lines, and especially their delivery by Stephen Merchant are just spot-on the entire time. He is just a loveable doofus that you can't help but like even when he tries to kill you. But that wasn't good enough for Valve so they decided to add something to the character. During the final encounter you get to hear soemthing really unexpected that somewhat changed my perception of the character.
"Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Well, I thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did. You didn't think you were the first, did you?No no no. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five... You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you what happened to them: they died. Horrifically. They all died horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there."
Stuff like this really adds to a character, even if you hear it just at the end of the game. And, like with Cave Johnson, the last thing you hear from Wheatley is something way more sympathetic and somber. He apologizes. Again: Hearing the final boss of the game apologizing in a versy sincere way is not something you are used to. It's not even like he is trying to save himself, it's the after credits scene and all is already lost for him as he is floating through space, possibly forever.
At this point I have no idea what a potential Portal 3 would even look like but I really hope Valve can abandon Chell and GladOS for it. Their story is done and there really doesn't need to be a "But whoops, it was all just an illusion, you are still trapped and GladOS is still an asshole" or "You actually died moments eariler" revelation. Let a happy ending be a happy ending sometimes.
Tl;dr: Portal 2 is everything a sequel should be, the writing is amazing for the most part, I love it and if you disagree then YOU are a cake and therefore a lie and an outdated internet meme! Take that.
Bombs for Throwing at You is one of my favorite songs.