Support NeoGAF

[Wario64]

POSTAL! What, you thought it was Halo?

http://1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3141458

The celebrated director behind actor Christian Slater's comeback film, Alone in the Dark, and critically acclaimed horror film House in the Dark continues a streak of video game adaptations. Uwe Boll's Boll KG studio has picked up the rights to Running With Scissors' violent first-person-shooter Postal series, reports Dark Horizons.

The Postal series is a shooter with a controversial history. The series has often been associated with violence problems within the game development community by the government and media. The company's motto is "It's always funny until someone gets hurt...and then it's absolutely friggin' hysterical," says their website.

The adaptation will reportedly feature "all of the characters" from the video games, but with a brand-new, Boll-branded storyline. With the first draft of the script completed, Boll KG will move into production of Postal in February of next year.

Boll KG is recently finished filming an adaptation of Majeco's BloodRayne and is currently in production on another video game film based upon Microsoft's Dungeon Siege series.

 

[DopeyFish]

postal has a story?

*shoots people*
*maims people*
-rinse repeat 20000 times-
*attempts shooting children, fails and collapses*

game over

 

[Kabuki Waq]

postal has a story?

*shoots people*
*maims people*
-rinse repeat 20000 times-
*attempts shooting children, fails and collapses*

game over

seems like hollywood to me.

 

[Wario64]

judging from the 'shoot in the dark' scene from the alone in the dark trailer, i'd say uwe boll definitely has the shooting part down

 

[tino]

Will it have b00bs?

 

[Funky Papa]

I was going to cry "why?!" but then I realized that Postal is the right crap for Uwe :lol

and is currently in production on another video game film based upon Microsoft's Dungeon Siege series.

Aw shit, WHY?!

 

[Tunesmith]

Christian Slater's comeback film, Alone in the Dark ?

....critically acclaimed horror film House of the Dead... ?

:lol :lol :lol

 

[SolidSnakex]

Boll KG is recently finished filming an adaptation of Majeco's BloodRayne

Just so bad. I was just looking through some picks and Meatloaf is in the movie too. WTF?

 

[Funky Papa]

That f*cker made Kristanna Loken UNSEXY for Bloodrayne, which BTW has almost no conection with the videogame. How much of a devoted asshole can he be to fuck up her looks? What the hell Uwe?

 

[StarscreamLSU]

I'm surprised Uwe Boll and Trip Hawkins haven't found some way to collaborate on a project. Seems like a nice match.

 

[dark10x]

 

[SolidSnakex]

That f*cker made Kristanna Loken UNSEXY for Bloodrayne, which BTW has almost no conection with the videogame. How much of a devoted asshole can he be to fuck up her looks? What the hell Uwe?

Have you seen the new trailer? It's just bad on so many levels

http://www.bloodrayne-themovie.com/trailer/brnewtrailer_hi.zip

It's like Uwe doesn't even try.

 

[Wafflecopter]

:lol Fucking Boll. He is so full of himself. Of course even if all his movies flop, it will not matter. The makers get profits because of a loophole in German tax write offs.

 

[Funky Papa]

Egads, it is like if some day Uwe woke up and thought "how many careers can I blow with a single movie?"

 

[CO_Andy]

I could care less about Postal, but the fiend iz raping respected videogame franchises!

There's also (surprise, surprise) new Resident Evil movies in the work. Freak, the director totally raped the franchise with the second movie!

"The Hollywood Reporting has broken a story regarding the Resident Evil movie franchise. Apparently, two more films are in the works for the series.

The first film will be called Resident Evil: AfterLife. The second film has yet to be titled.

AfterLife's story takes place in the south western U.S. It will be filmed in Australia shortly. Mila Jovovich will reprise her role as Alice. The untitled fourth film will follow Alice's adventures in Tokyo as she slaughters the living dead.

The Resident Evil movies have scored over $50 million in sales. It is unclear when the new movies will be released." (nintendojo.com)

 

[jman2050]

Have you seen the new trailer? It's just bad on so many levels

http://www.bloodrayne-themovie.com/trailer/brnewtrailer_hi.zip

It's like Uwe doesn't even try.

Dear god. Dear freaking god.

The diretion looks terrible.

The choreography is on middle-school play levels.

They made Loken look non-hot.

The action looks boring.

The settings and camera work are terrible.

Was it just me or did I miss the plot?

At least I can like the Super Mario Bros movie *dodges rain of stones* because it's campy and good for comedic value, but this... this is a travesty not only to video games, but to anyone who calls themself a film maker...

 

[SolidSnakex]

Here's a list of all the game movies Uwe has made (and has coming up)

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
Bloodrayne
Dungeon Siege
Hunter
Fear Effect
Far Cry
Postal

 

[jetjevons]

Trust me, he's not doing Hitman.

 

[GhaleonEB]

Here's a list of all the game movies Uwe has made (and has coming up)

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
Bloodrayne
Dungeon Siege
Hunter
Fear Effect
Far Cry
Postal
Hitman

*jaw drops*

Most of those games are really unsuitable to make a movie...much less a low-budget movie. (ALL games are unsuitable to be filmed by Boll.)

 

[SolidSnakex]

Trust me, he's not doing Hitman.

He's not? Oops then, I saw it mentioned on another site and remembered he said he was looking to get the license to the movie.

 

[RiZ III]

Wow.. this is going to be sweet.

 

[PanopticBlue]

I just finally got around to watching House of the Dead this weekend and had no idea it was going to be as bad as it was.

It is beyond fucking horrible. There is so much wrong with the movie I don't know where to even begin. One mindblowingly bad thing about it is the fact that there is actual gameplay footage of HoTD 1 and 2 inserted in various spots throughout the film, some of which even display "insert coin" or "press start"... a truly wtf moment those are.

I want to beat Uwe Boll's ass for losing that hour and a half of my time I will never get back.

What's worse is the fact that if you watch the special features, they are actually proud of what they created... *boggle*

 

[The Interrobanger]

The celebrated director behind actor Christian Slater's comeback film, Alone in the Dark, and critically acclaimed horror film House in the Dark continues a streak of video game adaptations.

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Minotauro]

I really don't understand how this keeps happening. I mean, there are plent of hack directors in Hollywood but generally they don't stick around if their films aren't profitable. Who keeps green-lighting Boll-helmed projects? Has he even broke even yet?

Maybe the producers are intrigued by the pronunciation of his first name. That's my only explanation.

 

[Ponn]

I'm sure he can get Gary coleman cheap. What I am wondering about more is where the hell is he getting this money. Who the hell besides the Nazi's would be insane enough at this point to take a very assured loss.

 

[Eric P]

It is beyond fucking horrible. There is so much wrong with the movie I don't know where to even begin. One mindblowingly bad thing about it is the fact that there is actual gameplay footage of HoTD 1 and 2 inserted in various spots throughout the film, some of which even display "insert coin" or "press start"... a truly wtf moment those are.

When i watched it i could have sworn it was House of the Dead 2 for the Dreamcast set to Free Play mode.

A few things gave it away: During the gameplay footage that wasn't a demo loop, you have the aiming reticule as if the person doing the capture used a controller instead of a light gun, and also, you can see where it alternates between "Free Play" and "Press Start" at the top of the demo loops.

Wow, fifteen posts into my GAF career and I just painted myself as a huge dork.

-Eric P

 

[PanopticBlue]

When i watched it i could have sworn it was House of the Dead 2 for the Dreamcast set to Free Play mode.

A few things gave it away: During the gameplay footage that wasn't a demo loop, you have the aiming reticule as if the person doing the capture used a controller instead of a light gun, and also, you can see where it alternates between "Free Play" and "Press Start" at the top of the demo loops.

Wow, fifteen posts into my GAF career and I just painted myself as a huge dork.

-Eric P

You're right about HotD 2 being the DC version played with a controller, but I know for a fact there is definitely footage of the first game as well.

 

[Deg]

There are two more RE movies coming too. Hopefully the foruth one is good.

 

[Eric P]

You're right about HotD 2 being the DC version played with a controller, but I know for a fact there is definitely footage of the first game as well.

that must have come after i had already stabbed out my eyes.

-Eric P

 

[hobbitx]

Oh god will someone please stop this asshole already! It's like he just randomly buys games and announces movies for whatever he sort of liked without even playing halfway through them. I'd actually love to see a Postal movie, but I was always hoping RWS would team up with a cool company like Troma and make something awesomely bad, this will just be bad. I can't believe RWS signed over the rights for this.

 

[Late Stage Marxist]

Like some kind of sad joke...

 

[bbyybb]

Here is his movie directing history.

# Far Cry (2006) (announced)
# Fear Effect (2006) (announced)
# Hunter: The Reckoning (2006) (announced)
# Night Claws (2005) (announced)
# Dungeon Siege (2006) (pre-production)
# Bloodrayne (2005) (post-production)

# Alone in the Dark (2005)
# House of the Dead (2003)
... aka House of the dead: Le jeu ne fait que commencer (Canada: French title)
# Heart of America (2003)
# Blackwoods (2002)
# Sanctimony (2000)

# Erste Semester, Das (1997)
# Barschel - Mord in Genf? (1993)
# Amoklauf (1992)
# German Fried Movie (1991)

A + all the way.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0093051/

Cheers,
bbyybb.

 

[CO_Andy]

Poor Rayne iz wearing an awful imitation of her original costume in that pic

I say the movie industry needs another Mario Bros. movie to serve as a reminder to STAY THE HELL OUT OF OUR TERRITORY!

 

[RiZ III]

Theres a Far Cry and Fear Effect movie being made? Huh.. interesting. I guess if they add enough hot lesbian scenes in Fear Effect, it might be kind of good.

 

[SolidSnakex]

Theres a Far Cry and Fear Effect movie being made? Huh.. interesting. I guess if they add enough hot lesbian scenes in Fear Effect, it might be kind of good.

You can bet there will be a lesbian scene in FE. Reading over the interviews, the one thing Uwe seemed to be excited about with Bloodrayne was finally getting Kristanna into the sex scene in the movie.

 

[boutrosinit]

Wow.

Just wow.

WORST fight coreography and accompanying camerawork I have EVER seen. Total B-Movie.

And poor Kristanna. She does a great job with the Brit accent, but she looks wrong with short red hair.

 

[Boogie]

postal has a story?

hey, they made a movie out of Doom

 

[Starfire]

Half-li............ooooh, postal.......................Don't get any Ideas Uwe!!

 

[SolidSnakex]

And poor Kristanna. She does a great job with the Brit accent, but she looks wrong with short red hair.

She never really looked the part at all. This girl in the background actually looks like a better Rayne than Kristanna does

 

[b_dawk]

uwe is a complete idiot and house of the dead was like, the worst movie i've ever seen. i couldn't even enjoy it as a bad film that you like to laugh at a lot. it was just really terrible. what made it worse was the fact that i was forced (read: whining little sister of a friend got her way) to see house of the dead instead of kill bill. christ. i can't believe they keep giving that guy money. he's ruining what could have been some good crossovers- i mean- house of the dead had such a great story! its such a shame.

and jesus, that's just bad leather. bad leather does not equal hot chick. no way.

 

[neopokekun]

For those who haven't seen it here is the story about the guys whos job it was to make an Alone in the Dark script that Uwe Boll was happy with.

 

[User 406]

I wish that Uwe Boll would write and direct every videogame to movie adaptation forever. This is because videogame to movie adaptations are a Bad Thing, and at least that way the moron fanboys who persist in proving Pavlov wrong by consuming every horrible god damn atrocity that shares a name with something else they liked would eventually die of internal hemorrhaging from watching his vile shit.

 

[The Take Out Bandit]

Serious fucking butter knives!

 

[Warm Machine]

I loved it in Alone in the Dark when the bomb went off to get into that other room and the hole it made outlined the brick work almost perfectly.

Alone in the Dark is one of the most ridiculous movies I've ever seen. The directorial choices are hilarious and the storyline has absolultely no logic to it what so ever.

 

[Retrofluxed]

"Despite an earlier report indicating Uwe Boll was attached to the game adaptation, its been confirmed he is not. At present according to the head of the game company Running With Scissors, several groups are in discussion over the film rights."

- Dark Horizons

There may still be hope left...

 

[Ferny84]

Just so bad. I was just looking through some picks and Meatloaf is in the movie too. WTF?

Hey!

Meatloaf is a respectable actor!

He was in movies like....Spice World?!

 

[Matlock]

"Nice swords!"