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[Neo_ZX]

I was out at a club last Friday just to get out and drink, scope out the scene etc. That night my friends and I were witness to this random guy whom we simply dubbed "The Man"

It's about 11:30 and people are just starting to get inside but no one is really on the floor yet. No one except "The Man". This guy was tearing the place up, drink in hand dancing with absolutely no one around him. It actually looked like he was there alone.

He then proceeded to arch his back onto the podium, with arms spread out and started to grind the air in front of him.

He then moved onto the next inanimate object - a small support beam. He was grinding it like a girl would grind another human being, so he had his ass on the beam and his arm above his head wrapped around it.

As the place filled up, he tried to dance with other girls, and also tried to grind another guy (no it wasn't me assholes). My friends and I were having a blast watching him! To his credit he actually did dance/grind with a real girl although fugly, but still.

I gave him a high five just for being the man.

 

[bjork]

I don't know if it counts, but I once knew a man who would get loaded and then frequent the Wal-Mart I worked at so he could buy spraypaint, which he would eat. I didn't believe it until I saw it...

 

[Deleted member 1235]

I once came home covered in mud missing my shoes and wallet, granted, I couldn't see myself and don't know where the items went, but I am pretty sure someone saw and robbed me then rolled me around in some mud puddles, so I think I am the drunkest person someone else has seen.

Oh, and this morning on the way to work I saw a homeless guy doing the most unusual walk, two steps, then kind of lean forward, his feet would catch up for 3 steps and then he would kind of do the same in reverse. then he switched it up to walk like one of those 2 legged things from starwars that the ewoks squashed with some logs. But that could have been glue induced.

 

[SteveMeister]

I was in Nogales, Mexico one night about 15 years ago, and there was this 40 something Mexican guy staggering drunk. I mean the guy had no balance... tottering around, fell on his ass a couple times. It was only about 9PM, too, barely dark yet.

 

[Mr. Blonde]

One time when I was really loaded me and a buddy of mine who was just as drunk got on the dance floor when no one else was on and did some funny stuff like "the man" did. I tried to do the worm and the spinarooni and I do-si doed with my friend.

 

[Mike Works]

 

[Dyne]

I was sitting enjoying a nice afternoon concert, and then halfway through one of the band members arrived late. He was piss drunk but I didn't know it at the time. He put down his instrument and literally FELL on to me. I opened up a lawn chair for him and he just stared off into space. Tried to get up many times, and eventually limped to his car only to drive away. Apparently he made it home safe. o_o

 

[RevenantKioku]

I was on a goukan (I think that's the spelling...anyway) in Japan, which is basically a massive blind date.
Anyway, there were four girls, and one of them was a beast. I didn't get stuck talking to her, but my one friend did. He just kept downing the sake she was pouring him. He went through quite some sake, heh. After the girls left, well, he was gone.
Freaking great time though, hehe.

 

[GDGF]

One time at a Mardi Gras several years ago, I passed by this guy in front of a bar who was stinking drunk, proping himself against a pole, mumbling incoherently, and pissing his pants. It was pretty bad (and by bad I mean funny!)

 

[Shompola]

When I couldn't figure out how to open the bathroom door.

 

[Socreges]

It was a friend of a friend's birthday. So we all loaded up on free wine over the course of a couple hours (promotion party) and then hit the nearest bar for some shots. Just ten minutes later, the birthday-girl was completely wasted. I took her outside for some fresh air and we sat down. I let her lay down across my lap where she began to nibble on my forearm. I sat her back up and her head collapsed onto my shoulder. So naturally she started licking my ear. At that point, I had drank a whole lot myself, so it took an incredible will to stop her. I've fooled around with a drunk girl before, and even though I was blasted myself, I felt pretty guilty.

Anyways, I thought we should leave for her sake and called a taxi. She literally could not walk. She was conscious and even singing, but her legs were jelly. So we had to drag her to the taxi and then the apartment. She was in pretty high spirits the entire time until she hurled all over the carpet. Apparently the bucket set right in front of her was too complicated to operate.

 

[Wellington]

Me.

Excluding me, Saturday night I saw this one dude that was passed out on the floor just outside the bar/club we were at. He was in bad shape.