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[DragoonKain]

Not because it’s going to be painful, because it may be the most awkward test on the face of the earth.

My doctors think that my pelvic floor muscles aren’t functioning properly so they ordered a test where basically I have to take a shit in front of doctors while they take x-rays while I’m going and see if the muscles are functioning properly as I relieve my bowels.

It’s probably worst of all for me because going to the bathroom in public has always been a phobia if mine since I was a kid. I haven’t gone #2 in public in 20 years. Even taking a piss in public is hard for me, my muscles clench up and I can’t get anything out. But taking a smash is even more private. This is going to be a nightmare.

Wish I could get drunk for it so I lose all cares and concerns. Can’t even do that because it requires fasting and no consuming of anything before the exam

Going to start trying to mentally train myself every time I go to the bathroom until the exam to see if I can kinda block out my surroundings and put myself in another place for a while.

 

[Rentahamster]

think that my pelvic floor as as muscles aren’t functioning properly

Hamster told you to do your kegels everyday.

We should have never stopped those Zoom sessions.

 

[haxan7]

Good luck man. I wouldn’t mind taking a shit in front of a group.

 

[DragoonKain]

Good luck man. I wouldn’t mind taking a shit in front of a group.

Normal people: "I never wanna wind up in prison, you could get shivved at any moment and you're locked away in a small cell."

Me: "I don't mind all that, but taking a shit without any privacy is something I can't do."

 

[Taxexemption]

Pretty sure if my doctor told me this i would tell her she was full of it, and flip her the bird on my way out.


It's not that I mind pooping in front of someone so much, but I would think it was more likely that this was a prank, or my doctor had some kind of watching people poop fetish than a medical procedure.

 

[INC]

Well go full ham, have a extra hot curry the night before

Fuck them

 

[dr_octagon]

 

[SpiceRacz]

Look them directly in the eyes when you're pinching one off. Alpha move.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

You are the new neighbors :O

 

[FunkMiller]

 

[TheContact]

Eat so much you feel like you’re gonna burst but stuff that helps like prunes and bananas. And just bring your phone and post on neogaf while you’re shitting at the same time

 

[Fbh]

Make sure to eat some leftover Taco Bell the night before

 

[BigBooper]

Lol I have never heard of such a thing. I assume this means you'll be taking a dump on some kind of towel as it squishes in the crevices.

Are you certain this isn't a fetish for the doctor?

 

[dr_octagon]

ask them to play Kanye and take your poop emoji plushie

 

[DragoonKain]

Eat so much you feel like you’re gonna burst but stuff that helps like prunes and bananas. And just bring your phone and post on neogaf while you’re shitting at the same time

Can't, have to fast, and then they shoot barium enema up my rectum and I poop it out.

 

[DragoonKain]

Lol I have never heard of such a thing. I assume this means you'll be taking a dump on some kind of towel as it squishes in the crevices.

Are you certain this isn't a fetish for the doctor?

Yes, 100%. It's called defecography

 

[Marvel]

Stream it on twitch.

 

[Aarbron]

They are professionals… you’ll be fine!

 

[dr_octagon]

Stream it on twitch.

wear neogaf t shirt, get sponsored, youtube channel and then netflix tv series

 

[Coolwhhip]

Stream it on twitch.

There is enough of this already on twitch.

 

[badblue]

Can't, have to fast, and then they shoot barium enema up my rectum and I poop it out.

Wikipedia says they use a Caulk Gun to give you that barium.

Maybe I'm just high, but it's kinda funny.

 

[nush]

Can't, have to fast, and then they shoot barium enema up my rectum and I poop it out.

Try not to get a boner over the ass play.

 

[Marvel]

There is enough of this already on twitch.

Yeah but OP actually deserves some twitch bits.

 

[TheInfamousKira]

If it's an enema, you won't have to struggle to shit, my dude. It will go everywhere. I've watched enough Asian por-medical documentaries to know. Also, see about headphones. I can only dump/piss in public if I can pretend there's no one there.

 

[Rival]

OP, just make sure this guy is a real doctor.

 

[DragoonKain]

Wikipedia says they use a Caulk Gun to give you that barium.

Maybe I'm just high, but it's kinda funny.

They do lol

 

[Burning Blade]

You don’t happen to have Ehlers-Danlos do you OP?

 

[Trogdor1123]

Good luck man. I wouldn’t mind taking a shit in front of a group.

Wasnt sure the thread was going but now I know.

 

[DeepBreath87]

Maybe you can take miralax or a stool softener the night before. Make sure you tell them your issue. They will be able to work with you. They can put up a privacy curtain. It’s X-rays, so they should need to visually see you.

 

[DragoonKain]

You don’t happen to have Ehlers-Danlos do you OP?

No, don't have that.

 

[Amory]

Eat some shredded wheat before you go. I've been enjoying a box recently and I shit like a machine gun

 

[dr_octagon]

OP, just make sure this guy is a real doctor.

if the glove does not fit, you must take a shit

 

[TransTrender]

I didn't know what to expect with this thread, and I was going to make an AIDS joke, but nah, that test sounds terrible.
My recommendation is to down two table spoons of psyllium fiber with a cup of water and you'll shit a glorious shit in about 12 hours.

 

[McHuj]

Normal people: "I never wanna wind up in prison, you could get shivved at any moment and you're locked away in a small cell."

Me: "I don't mind all that, but taking a shit without any privacy is something I can't do."

OMG. I have the same fear. Everytime I see a prison cell with an exposed toilet I always think how the fuck do they shit and wipe (the wiping part is important too) in front of others. It's enough to scare you straight.

 

[DragoonKain]

I already have to clean myself out before I go with laxatives.

 

[mcjmetroid]

Annnnnnnd we have another thread about shit

 

[Tschumi]

... to be honest man, i kinda think i might need a test like that one day, and i'd think the payoff of functioning normally/predictably down there would be worth the brief em-bare-ass-ment.

(also, drinking shitloads more water and eating more fiber would probably solve my problems, i know this because when i used to work at japanese schools as an english teacher and ate their lunches my bowls worked like a finely tuned mercedes benz)

 

[IDKFA]

The trick to this OP is to make the people watching feel uncomfortable. If you focus on that you'll be fine.

Rip down your pants, strain out a shit with as much force as possible, look dead into their eyes and fucking scream/shout for the whole duration.

You're welcome.

 

[Bitmap Frogs]

Take Care man. Home your poop judgement goes well.

 

[Artoris]

Maybe you get a group of medical students watching

more the merrier

 

[Zenaku]

OP, just make sure this guy is a real doctor.

 

[GymWolf]

Op tomorrow

 

[nush]

 

[QSD]

Not because it’s going to be painful, because it may be the most awkward test on the face of the earth.

My doctors think that my pelvic floor muscles aren’t functioning properly so they ordered a test where basically I have to take a shit in front of doctors while they take x-rays while I’m going and see if the muscles are functioning properly as I relieve my bowels.

It’s probably worst of all for me because going to the bathroom in public has always been a phobia if mine since I was a kid. I haven’t gone #2 in public in 20 years. Even taking a piss in public is hard for me, my muscles clench up and I can’t get anything out. But taking a smash is even more private. This is going to be a nightmare.

One of my best friends used to have this hangup too. Really outgoing and adventurous guy otherwise, so I just couldn't figure what was up with it. I think it's actually somewhat common.

Maybe you could stream yourself taking a dump on gaf as a kind of exposure therapy ;-)

 

[GymWolf]

I'm in for some shitshow streaming if the nurses are hot.

 

[chixdiggit]

Sorry you have to deal with this crap OP, sounds like a really shitty situation.

 

[AJUMP23]

I was not expecting this when I clicked the thread. This is a weird test. But good luck I guess. I think I feel weird for the staff that chose a life of watching people poop.

 

[Toots]

Can't, have to fast, and then they shoot barium enema up my rectum and I poop it out.

I was wondering how they could ask you to fast and take a shit
It's gonna be ok, and when you'll be shooting radioactive water out your butt with all these physicians watching in the same room, remember that the aiming is inverted when you're spraying backwards

edit :grammar