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[HighPoly]

no control of my life...

I don't know guys... I feel so sad, cause I don't live in the place I'd like to live...
I don't live the life I'd like to live... I don't even know myself...

Games, movies, collectibles make your world better, cause we need ways to scape from our realities...

The thing is... No matter how much I cry, I'll never live the perfect dream, in real life...

We're not able to choose some things about our reality...
The best way to live, is working on a regular job, to make enough money to spend our time with some bullshit...

I'm a complex person guys... I have bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder... and some psychic traumas...
I use my medicines...

Well, I'm doing another university... 32 years old... no girlfriend, no wife, no kids, living with my parents...
I have a good friend, my best friend...

It seems like to make a girlfriend and different experiences, we need so much energy, the energy I don't have...

The few energy I have, I'm using to gym and this second university...

 

[belmarduk]

Hit the gym

 

[bitbydeath]

no control of my life...

You have control but you must seize it, and not wait for it to land in your lap.

I don't know guys... I feel so sad, cause I don't live in the place I'd like to live...
I don't live the life I'd like to live... I don't even know myself...

One thing at a time, you won’t get anywhere if you don’t know the way.

Games, movies, collectibles make your world better, cause we need ways to scape from our realities...

Are they really escapes or are they time swallowers?

The thing is... No matter how much I cry, I'll never live the perfect dream, in real life...

Not with that attitude, positive people make it further, change your outlook.

We're not able to choose some things about our reality...
The best way to live, is working on a regular job, to make enough money to spend our time with some bullshit...

You can change everything, jobs are stepping stones.

I'm a complex person guys... I have bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder... and some psychic traumas...
I use my medicines...

Negative outlook is the reason, make progress not perfection.

Well, I'm doing another university... 32 years old... no girlfriend, no wife, no kids, living with my parents...
I have a good friend, my best friend...

It’s never too late, but you need a plan, writing things out helps me.

It seems like to make a girlfriend and different experiences, we need so much energy, the energy I don't have...

You’re probably trying to do too much at once which is exhausting, break it down, again progress not perfection.

The few energy I have, I'm using to gym and this second university...

Gym is good, keep at it.

 

[Syphon Filter]

Mind over matter, just focus on what your goal is and work towards it. working towards it will make you feel good since there is a purpose involved. Even when it seems bleak just keep pushing through until you get there.

 

[PonyStation4]

What are your goals over the next 5 years? What steps have you planned to reach them by year, month and day?

 

[Aces High]

Psychotropic drugs like antidepressants, antipsychotics, and benzodiazepines can have a huge negative impact on your endocrine system.

The longer you use these drugs, the more severe these effects will be.

Get your testosterone levels checked by a good endocrinologist.

 

[Dacvak]

Hey man, I don’t know you, but I love your name and avatar. I believe in you my guy.

 

[fran.fernandez]

 

[Ownage]

Make some memories and build some respect for yourself. Regardless if you become rich or hit rock bottom poor, if you can look at yourself with respect, even the darkest days will quickly pass.

 

[AGRacing]

I had this feeling briefly in my early 20s.

One thing Id advise strongly.

Entertainment is not for escape. It is to entertain. This is a common phrase and I believe it’s completely misguided and harmful.

If you're trying to escape reality with entertainment… stop using it immediately and get your life right. Make progress. Learn new skills. Try to fix the next appliance that breaks yourself. There will be a moment where you break through and your sense of travelling in the right direction will take you out of depression and your progress from that point can be rapid.

Also I don't work in my field I pursued in College…. But what I DID do is work hard and build a reputation of being a hard and reliable worker. At your age if youre pursuing education that leads straight into a career thats great. But don’t count out calling and speaking to people in the field you want to be in, selling yourself as reliable and willing to learn and then delivering on that promise. There is an INCREDIBLE shortage of such people and you WILL succeed if you are one.

Wake up tomorrow and do it man. Don’t veg.

 

[H4ze]

You got this bro. Life is a long chain of up's and down's. If you need someone to talk to, pm me any time.

 

[SJRB]

Unless it's economically impossible or you're taking care of your parents, try to move out.

Living on your own will accelerate personal growth in a big way.

 

[DeafTourette]

no control of my life...

I don't know guys... I feel so sad, cause I don't live in the place I'd like to live...
I don't live the life I'd like to live... I don't even know myself...

Games, movies, collectibles make your world better, cause we need ways to scape from our realities...

The thing is... No matter how much I cry, I'll never live the perfect dream, in real life...

We're not able to choose some things about our reality...
The best way to live, is working on a regular job, to make enough money to spend our time with some bullshit...

I'm a complex person guys... I have bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder... and some psychic traumas...
I use my medicines...

Well, I'm doing another university... 32 years old... no girlfriend, no wife, no kids, living with my parents...
I have a good friend, my best friend...

It seems like to make a girlfriend and different experiences, we need so much energy, the energy I don't have...

The few energy I have, I'm using to gym and this second university...

Brother, I'm almost 50 years old and nowhere NEAR where I thought I'd be right now. I'm lonely and just now trying to get back to where I used to be years ago physically. I'm unemployed (laid off from my job of 7 years due to them moving) ... And trying to figure out what's my next move. I have no money but I have my adult daughter, my best friends and some other good people who have been so understanding...

You're going to be fine. We both will.

 

[Hypereides]

32 is not too late to change your life around. Keep working on exceeding in whatever you're studying at Uni. Maybe apply for a part-time job to work on your communication skills.

 

[nush]

Hit the gym

He already is.

 

[FunkMiller]

He's a sad man...

Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub.

 

[RJMacready73]

I don’t envy young lads trying to manoeuvre round the world today, everyone is so hyper connected to fucking everything and everyone has such an inflated sense of self, girls all wanna be insta models and guys wanna be husslin for that lambo and all are utterly depressed yet still doom scroll looking at those that made it… fuuuuuuuck dat, my gen really was the last gen to have it good in their 20’s/30’s it would appear we done our partying, we dated and now were all settled, kids and mortgages. Feel for you lad, life aint easy and it doesn’t sound like you got dealt a good hand but at least you’re making the most of it, Gym and education will definitely help you get there but you just gotta keep plugging away

 

[John Bilbo]

I think you have fallen into a pit of despair. I know that place. Your lot in life has some similarities to mine.

As an outsider it is very difficult to say what could help you climb out of the situation you are in.

Maybe learning to be a comfort for yourself and learning to satisfy your emotional needs little by little could help.

Maybe mindfulness and recognizing your body, thoughts and feelings in contrast to your surroundings could help.

 

[Krappadizzle]

Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It was pretty big in helping me learn how to focus. Use the tools you have, and do the best you can, the best you know how.

Most of us know what we should be doing to improve our lives, but we find ways to ignore the hard parts about self improvement because it's uncomfortable.

Hitting the gym and going for more education is a great start. Don't stop.

 

[Toots]

No matter how much I cry, I'll never live the perfect dream, in real life

It's because crying does not change your life, it's all the things you do (sports, university, etc.) that can make your dreams come true.
Also you surely are very harsh on you and see yourself much worse than anyone else sees you. If someone gives you a compliment take it as it is and remember people can like stuff about you and your personality and vice versa.

 

[Alebrije]

Stay simple, look micro if macro makes You sad , watch a flower a bird even a rat doing their stuff...look the tiny stuff around You. It's easier to.control and harder yo get dissapointed.

Girlfriend, wife, kids...are not for all. The problem are steriotypes from society..and after all a girlfriend won't make You happy if You don't love You....basically You just depend of yourself to be happy don't put your happiness on others.

Go micro, want company start with a puppy or cat.

Enjoy your family , your parents , don't feel Bad to be with them, specially if they are happy that You Stay there. Look the bright Side of your current situatuon , there is always one matter how hard is to see it.

 

[EverydayBeast]

It’s black history month and you’re making this about you? Have a discussion with your therapist and search for an answer.

 

[Jaybe]

 

[Outlier]

A lot of ways to go about this and plenty of others giving useful ideas, so I'll keep my input short.

Do (NOT TRY) something that you haven't done before, that is MOSTLY different from your usual routine, that engages at least a few of your inner desires for change.

Example from me:
Last year I started regularly going to a clothing optional lake, because it would make me engage in doing things I desired. Swim, fresh air, sunlight, nature, swimming, socialize, and seeing some hot bodies!
Will continue to go this year.

 

[BaldingAshCrimson]

Don't have anything helpful to say, I'm sorry, but you aren't alone.

I'm in the exact place. And if there's a way out, no one but me will get me out of this place.
Which unfortunately is the case for people that are in the same place as us. Very few have  any help or support to speak of.

Anyway, again, sorry. But I'm happy you opened up here.

 

[MilkyJoe]

no control of my life...

I don't know guys... I feel so sad, cause I don't live in the place I'd like to live...
I don't live the life I'd like to live... I don't even know myself...

Games, movies, collectibles make your world better, cause we need ways to scape from our realities...

The thing is... No matter how much I cry, I'll never live the perfect dream, in real life...

We're not able to choose some things about our reality...
The best way to live, is working on a regular job, to make enough money to spend our time with some bullshit...

I'm a complex person guys... I have bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder... and some psychic traumas...
I use my medicines...

Well, I'm doing another university... 32 years old... no girlfriend, no wife, no kids, living with my parents...
I have a good friend, my best friend...

It seems like to make a girlfriend and different experiences, we need so much energy, the energy I don't have...

The few energy I have, I'm using to gym and this second university...

You are hanging onto childhood, See a therapist, let them beat it out of you, and you can move on and leave it all behind.

 

[nkarafo]

Don't worry OP, i'm nearly 10 years older than you and have most of the same issues. Which means you have 10 years more than me to improve things. I wish i was 32 like you, if that makes you feel any better.

Start exercising. Do a sport like boxing. That's the only right thing i ever did. I started exercising at 25 and 16 years later i'm very fit and strong, much more than the vast majority of people my age. Heck i'm much stronger and faster than i was at 25 and with more stamina. It's something that can increase a low self esteem. It's also good for your body and health. In the end, if you are destined to end up a poor and alone old man, it's better to be a healthy poor and alone old man.

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

Use this negative energy to turn everything around.

And you'll come back as Jude Law.

 

[SJRB]

Also, sad spelled backwards is das and das no good.

 

[JimmyRustler]

Why don’t you live on your own though? Do you have a job or only go to university?

 

[Beer Baelly]

 

[22:22:22]

 

[22:22:22]

Why don’t you live on your own though? Do you have a job or only go to university?

maybe read between the lines. No offense.

 

[Walter Matthau]

Get off the internet and take a break from collectibles, movies, and games.

Give yourself time to think about what really matters to you instead of flooding your mind with constant stimulus. Pretend you’re not you for a while and take a look at your life and hobbies from an outside perspective.

Try to increase your physical activity and improve your diet. Consult with your doctor about how you can reduce your dependence on medication longer term.

When you have a better understanding of who you are and what actually matters to you, try to find a local group with similar hobbies or aspirations.

Don’t worry about getting a girl. If you’re taking care of yourself and being social, you’ll eventually meet or be introduced to someone who you’re compatible with.

 

[NecrosaroIII]

I'm pretty sad too. I'm extremely frustrated with my career. I'm in my back up's back up's back up career and I've done well with myself. But due to a series of bad upper management decisions, they've decided to dissolve my team and filter us into other teams. Despite the fact we were a highly profitable part of the company.

My team was the only part of my career that made it bearable. I was a founding member of my department. I helped develop it. I worked to form a culture of collaboration, worked on standard work processes and training. All of this work is gone. I wasted my time. And now I hate everything I have in my professional career.

Plus it looks like I'm going to be going from a schedule where I can have a human life to a schedule where I literally want to put a bullet in my brain.

 

[near]

HighPoly you DO have control of your life, you just have to figure out how to navigate it to get what you want out of it. Being 32 and single is not actually a big deal, you're still relatively young so do not let this overwhelm you. You must change your outlook on life to a positive one, even during hardship, and aim to start your days optimistic. You can do this by being grateful for what you have and not what you lack, avoid comparing your circumstances with others. Everyone struggles and everyone is tested with hardship in different ways. You're no different in that regard. There is someone who is worse off than you right now. It's all about changing your perspective. This will help you overcome the trials that come your way.

Focus on yourself for now. Finish your education, continue working out. Find someone to talk to and confine in, a psychiatrist maybe. Just to get you in the right headspace. Once you're aligned with accomplishing personal goals, you can then try to find the right social environment to meet someone compatible with yourself. Forming a relationship with a potential partner isn't easy, but don't ever force it, or compromise on who you deserve to be with, and I assure you, eventually you'll form one that is strong and lasting.

I honestly don't know much about bipolar disorder, but I know that if you are being treated for it, you can still live a normal fulfilling life that is within your control.

Stay strong

 

[stn]

As a person who does nothing but work and has been going crazy gradually because of it, you have more control over your life than you think you do. Some of the things you mentioned, like getting a girlfriend, are within your control and means. Its not a question of "if" you can get a girl, its more about whether you are willing to put in effort to do it. A lot of us here probably fall into the same trap: we get depressed and then play games as a way to cope, and the time just goes by. This is what I do, personally, but I'm very aware of it and appreciate that I am hurting my life in some areas because of it.

So your solution is to keep working on yourself. Keep going to the gym, make sure you keep yourself groomed, make sure you have a positive attitude around people, and you will notice that things will change.

 

[German Hops]

Sniff mo' feet.

 

[TheInfamousKira]

All my love to you, OP, seriously. But the first issue you're having is learned helplessness. You assume nothing will change, therefore nothing changes, and suddenly the Dark aspects of your character have won by default.

I'll say it this way: just the way you've worded your post - the things you're focused on, the things you assign value to - it all sounds rooted in a source of low self confidence.

First and biggest advice to you- talk to a therapist. You mentioned being diagnosed and medicated, which implies you got your feet wet in the mental health system, at least . Therapy differs from psychiatry in that one provides medication and One provides sort of a life coach. Every therapist is different, so don't be discouraged should you need to shop around for a good fit, but also keep in mind that you want someone who will challenge your ideas and bad habits. Change isn't comfortable, you don't want to pay someone to agree with everything you say, as there is no personal growth to be had from it.

You've been diagnosed, so that's a great step in and of itself. Try and take a step out of your own head and realize that mental illness means there is a chemical imbalance somewhere in your brain. It's essentially using an unlockable Sad Screen Filter. You pair your perceived tenous spot in society with your mental issues and morph it into "I'm a sad, strange person who's not fit for the world,"

When in reality, look around you. Virtually everyone you meet day to day is feeling the same thing - worried about how they look to others, how their perceived status is, hoping no one notices the fight they had with their wife last night or the giant blemish on their cheek, the coffee stain on their collar, etc, etc. The only issue you have over the others is you have a worse time bottling that anxiety up and burying it like everyone else does.

As far as longing for things you don't have, like a wife or partner or whatever - it's fear of missing out. Plainly. You probably look at things like a spouse, a home, a well paying job, whatever else, as a checklist that is constantly compared to your peers. I'm going to give you a bitter pill here, but hopefully it will recontextualize things: if you woke up tomorrow and had everything in your life that you are currently lacking....you'd still feel the same way. Replace wife or social standing with money, and you get the picture.

Spontaneity and excitement are often confused with happiness, but they're not. Put another way, this is a question: what would change in your life if you had all these things? You're trying to treat symptoms, but the true malady is radiating from elsewhere. You need to find a comfortable place in life to dig in and perch, really feeling comfortable with the notion that should you wake up tomorrow and find that You're the last human being on Earth, you'd be perfectly self sufficient. Happiness comes from peace of mind. Peace of mind comes from putting all of your energy towards changing and improving upon things that you can control (i.e. yourself) and contentness with that which cannot be altered (i.e. most everything else)

Work on you and these things will naturally shape themselves. Mental health is so important, and this definitely sounds like something that can be overcome with some gumption and self dedication.

 

[GeekyDad]

 

[chromhound]

Don't get a girlfriend. They will make your life miserable. Focus on yourself, find new passion. You're still young

 

[Bojji]

Don't get a girlfriend. They will make your life miserable. Focus on yourself, find new passion. You're still young

I agree that being alone is better than being in BAD relationship but good relationship is one of the best things in life.

 

[German Hops]

Don't get a girlfriend. They will make your life miserable. Focus on yourself, find new passion. You're still young

 

[John Marston]

Don't get a girlfriend. They will make your life miserable. Focus on yourself, find new passion. You're still young

Speaking from experience, if you're feeling sad and borderline depressed I wouldn't suggest getting a girlfriend.
You'll just attract crazy pussy that'll make your life even worse.

Yes, focus on yourself, clean house and only then can you welcome someone in your life which will benefit you.

 

[Winter John]

You know why you’re all sad n shit op? I’ll tell ya why, it’s because you’re doing shit that’s irrelevant to your needs. The gym. What the fuck is that? Why are you wasting your time with that shit? You wanna be like those sweaty feebs? No. Ya don’t. Not really. Otherwise you’d be all giddy n shit about spending your days lifting rocks with dumbasses.
So what you need to do is figure out what it is that makes ya happy. Getting fucked up? Well, go get fucked up. Food? Go fill up on what you like. Pussy? Easy. Put on a Hawaiian shirt and get some. The point I’m making here is be what you are. Be true to yourself and fuck the rest.

 

[Papa_Wisdom]

Not sure if anyone else has recommended it but please try meditation op.

Mindfulness and self awareness is something that really helps me out (I also mental issues and take medication.)

Try Michael seeley or Jason Stevenson (I think he’s called) on you tube.

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC9GoqHypa-SDrGPMyeBkjKw

https://m.youtube.com/@jasonstephensonmeditation

Also I know this might sound crazy but try listening to thunderstorms as you fall asleep, this is my fave



I know how it feels to be like that dude feel free to Dm if your struggling or just need to vent.

 

[rofif]

Stop chasing perfection.
Find a spot you are comfortable in.
And while you certainly do not need to find anyone, the significant other for sure would help to find comfort also OUTSIDE of your comfort zone.
Drugs of course is something you should continue.

My fav way of being is to be content and confident. One cannot go without another.

 

[chromhound]

 

[8bitpill]

 

[22:22:22]