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[Kenpachii]

Here’s what you do this NEXT weekend: Ride over to her house on your sick-ass bike. Hide a walky-talky under the fuel tank. Ring her doorbell and hide behind some bushes. When she comes out, start talking to her like you are the bike.. like you were hit by ball-lightening a few days prior while riding and you and the bike became one. If she falls for that shit, you’re in.

Is that before or after you show her your pokemon collection

 

[TIMSTER_777]

I went over on the bike.

Nice.

In all seriousness, things are looking pretty good for you. Hope everything goes well next time.

 

[triplestation]

 

[TrainedRage]

would love a description of her so can imagine her

Like a version of Cortney Cox and Whitney Cummings. But ya know more 'normal'.

 

[GeorgPrime]

 

[triplestation]

you are about to have probably the best sex anyone could ask for

drunk and highly unprofessional

 

[bitbydeath]

Don't shit where you eat

Sound advice.
Taking a dump on someones chest is more of third date type activity.

 

[GeorgPrime]

Make pictures for butt or tits neogaf thread

 

[Barnabot]

I think that’s the goal

i mean he's the one to get fucked in the long run if it's the other thing to go south but since he's already there let's hope he can score just alright.

 

[ManaByte]

Can a mod add "Dear Penthouse:" to the thread title?

 

[Stouffers]

It’s customary in these situations to bring a gift on your next visit. Apparently bakeries make these things called “Smash Cakes.” Seems appropriate.

 

[Cunth]

dont forget to record it

 

[Schattenjäger]

Like a version of Cortney Cox and Whitney Cummings. But ya know more 'normal'.

oh yea
i’d def lay the pipe work then

 

[newtypepilot]

need pics or video evidence

 

[haxan7]

When you bang her make sure to give her multiple cunnilingus orgasms

 

[GobbledeeGoo]

Did you mash genitals yet?

 

[Kamina]

Maybe you should go by her house tomorrow evening again, to “check on her” Maybe she invites you in....

 

[Maiden Voyage]

dont forget to record it

Don't forget to say thank you after you finish.

 

[and 3 others]

Like a version of Cortney Cox and Whitney Cummings. But ya know more 'normal'.

So what uh, kind of bike is it?

 

[DeepEnigma]

Wear your big dick jeans.

 

[GobbledeeGoo]

The alpha move would be to raw dog it.

 

[Schattenjäger]

 

[JimmyJones]

Wear a body camera so she can’t #metoo you.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

I went over on the bike.

When I pulled up she was at the door.

Her neighbors garage caught on fire (Friday) and part of her house was essentially melted.

She seemed pretty frazzled.

I gave her a big hug and we had beer.

She unloaded on me about how she was so upset and felt like a dream.

Thanked me for being such a good friend.

I reassured her and told her I would be fine if she needed to take some time off.

(I told her I had shit to do,to seem busy and extra cool) She said I have to take her for a ride on my bike sometime.

She gave me another big hug and wants to get together this weekend when she can 'have more fun'.


________

I think I have my foot in the door between friend zone and smash. Im breaking that shit down next time.

Lol loser, I’ll be your shoulder to cry on. She probably got the D before you came over.

that friend zone life.

 

[JimmyJones]

Maybe she wants to know what kind of person you are out of work because she is thinking of promotions. I do this shit alot.

Harvey, is that you?

 

[JordanN]

Like a version of Cortney Cox and Whitney Cummings. But ya know more 'normal'.

"Cummings"
"Cox"

 

[Azzurri]

How old is she OP?

 

[Entroyp]

Well that’s a bummer. OP is just being used as an emotional tampon.

 

[Chairman Tickles]

I went over on the bike.

When I pulled up she was at the door.

Her neighbors garage caught on fire (Friday) and part of her house was essentially melted.

She seemed pretty frazzled.

I gave her a big hug and we had beer.

She unloaded on me about how she was so upset and felt like a dream.

Thanked me for being such a good friend.

I reassured her and told her I would be fine if she needed to take some time off.

(I told her I had shit to do,to seem busy and extra cool) She said I have to take her for a ride on my bike sometime.

She gave me another big hug and wants to get together this weekend when she can 'have more fun'.


________

I think I have my foot in the door between friend zone and smash. Im breaking that shit down next time.

You have location. You have power. Why not smesh then and there? You could have shown her a good time like Khabib showed Mcgregor in the octagon. Lame.

 

[Rentahamster]

Smash on video, then sue for sexual harassment. If that doesn't work, marry her and have 2.7 babies.

 

[Despera]

What direction do YOU want this to head into OP?

 

[Frito_Pendejo]

Just don’t yell Cunth when you finish.

 

[Scopa]

A similar thing happened to me, but it was my boss’ wife and her house didn’t burn down.

Well, maybe metaphorically.

 

[Papa]

Whitney Cummings and Courtney Cox would both get it

 

[Stouffers]

How does a house melt? Is your boss an Eskimo?

 

[Airbus Jr]

I rather not interfere but dont you think having relationship with your own bosses could be problematic in the office ?

 

[hollams]

I rather not interfere but dont you think having relationship with your own bosses could be problematic in the office ?

Yeah unfortunately, I second this. In most workplaces if a boss has relations with an underling that could lead to both people being fired. If you have others in your group and they find out, which they definitely will, then that can cause issues with them because they would think you are getting special treatment at work.

 

[dan76]

How is this going to end? You fuck, get together, have a great relationship - but you work with her and she's your boss. You fuck, it's terrible - but you have to work with her, she's your boss. You try it on, she's not interested, you fucked up - but you have to work with her, she's your boss.

No matter how great the night is these things never end well (unless you get another job, then maybe?)

 

[Foamy]

I would have drank all her beer and thrown up on her carpet but I guess the way you handled it was ok too.

 

[womfalcs3]

Where are the receipts?

 

[Potato Chip PRO]

OP, does your boss has big itty bitties?

 

[Foamy]

How does a house melt? Is your boss an Eskimo?

Im guessing vinyl siding.

 

[TUROK]

I like to think I give pretty decent advice. This is a bad idea especially if she is his boss and shit goes south. OP do you live in a at will state?

Keeping it friendly is definitely the responsible move, but the rewards are probably worth the risk. Sex and potential work perks? Sheeeeeeeit.

 

[demigod]

Isn’t OP a janitor at a school?

 

[quickwhips]

Harvey, is that you?

Your life must be bad if that was your first thought.

 

[ManaByte]

OP went over like:

And left like:

 

[Cato]

Ok OP.
Stop doing this soy "I'm here to give you a hug and shoulder to cry on" bs.
She is testing you. Are you a soy-boy or a real man.

Next time, take charge and make a proper move then crush that pussy.
So what if she is your boss? She is looking for a man, not a boy.

Just do it or she will look elsewhere and forever think of you as either a gay millenial or a soy-boy.
Neither of which is what you ever want your boss to think of you.

 

[epicnemesis]

#believeallmen

 

[Shaqazooloo]

This isn't the type of thing you want to get involved in. If things don't go well you'll either get screwed out of a job or have to awkwardly continue to work under her.

Mixing sex/relationships with work is a bad idea imo.

 

[EverythingsOverrated]

As someone who has smashed a past boss I would say be careful my dude.

Overall I would advise against it, but the biggest factor is your job itself. If you work at Taco Bell, bro go all in, fuck it. If you work in a more professional setting...things can be bad in the short and long term.