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[Incognito]

And then she herself fired from USA Today? I mean, read this shit:

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazened with the "F-word" are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling.

Democrats are constantly suing and slandering police as violent, fascist racists -- with the exception of Boston's police, who'll be lauded as national heroes right up until the Democrats pack up and leave town on Friday, whereupon they'll revert to their natural state of being fascist, racist pigs.

A speaker at the Democratic National Convention this year, Al Sharpton, accused white police officers of raping and defacing Tawana Brawley in 1987, lunatic charges that eventually led to a defamation lawsuit against Sharpton and even more eventually, to Sharpton paying a jury award to the defamed plaintiff Steve Pagones. So it's a real mystery why cops wouldn't like Democrats.

As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that it's because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval. Plus, it's no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

Apparently, the nuts at the Democratic National Convention are going to be put in cages outside the convention hall. Sadly, they won't be fighting to the death as is done in W.W.F. caged matches. They're calling this the "protestor's area," although I suppose a better name would be the "truth-free zone".

I thought this was a great idea until I realized the nut category did not include Sharpton, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and Teddy Kennedy -- all featured speakers at the convention. I'd say the actual policy is only untelegenic nuts get the cages, but little Dennis Kucinich is speaking at the Convention, too. So it must be cages for nuts who have not run for president as serious candidates for the Democratic Party.

Looking at the line-up of speakers at the Convention, I have developed the 7-11 challenge: I will quit making fun of, for example, Dennis Kucinich, if he can prove he can run a 7-11 properly for 8 hours. We'll even let him have an hour or so of preparation before we open up. Within 8 hours, the money will be gone, the store will be empty, and he'll be explaining how three 11-year olds came in and asked for the money and he gave it to them.

For 20 years, the Democrats wouldn't let Jimmy Carter within 100 miles of a Convention podium. The fact that Carter is now their most respectable speaker tells you where that party is today. Maybe they just want to remind Americans who got us into this Middle East mess in the first place. W've got millions of fanatical Muslims trying to slaughter Americans while shouting Allah Akbar! Yeah, let's turn the nation over to these guys.

With any luck, Gore will uncork his speech comparing Republicans to Nazis. Just a few weeks ago, Gore gave a speech accusing the Bush administration of deploying digital "Brown Shirts" to intimidate journalists and pressure the media into writing good things about Bush -- in case you were wondering where all those glowing articles about Bush were coming from.

The last former government official to slake his thirst so deeply with the kool-aid and become a far-left peacenik was Ramsey Clarke and it took him a few years to really blossom. Clinton must have done some number on Gore. Then again, with his yen for earth tones in a man's wardrobe, maybe Gore's references to "Brown Shirts" was intended as a compliment.

Only one major newspaper -- the Boston Herald -- reported Gore's Brown Shirt comment, though a Bush campaign spokesman's statement quoting the "Brown Shirt" line made it into the very last sentence of a Los Angeles Times article. The New York Times responded with an article criticizing both Republicans and Democrats for using Nazi imagery. Democrats call Republicans Nazis, the Republicans quote the Democrats calling Republicans Nazis and both are using Nazi imagery. (It's a cycle of violence!)

The nuts in the cages are virtual Bertrand Russells compared to the official speakers at the Democratic Convention. On the basis of their placards, I gather the caged-nut position is that they love the troops so much, they don't want them to get hurt defending America from terrorist attack. Support the troops, the signs say, bring them home.

That's my new position on all government workers, except the 5% who aren't useless, which is to say cops, prosecutors, firemen and U.S. servicemen. I love bureaucrats at the National Endowment of the Arts funding crucifixes submerged in urine so much -- I think they should go home. I love public school teachers punishing any mention of God and banning Christmas songs so much -- I think they should go home.

Walking back from the convention site I chatted with a normal Bostonian for several blocks -- who must have identified me through our covert system of signals. He was mostly bemused by the Democrats' primetime speakers and told me he used to be an independent, but for the last 20 years found himself voting mostly Republican. Then he corrected himself and said he votes for the American.

I'd say I love all these Democrats in Boston so much I want them to go home, but I don't. I want Americans to get a good long look at the French Party and keep the 7-11 challenge in mind.

What a moron. I have no doubts that she knew by submitting this article, it would be sent right back to her to "edit." What an attention whore..

 

[Saint Cornelius]

Wow. I would say she'd be good for a hatefuck, but she's too damn skinny

 

[calder]

She could well be the worst person on earth as far as relatively mainstream media types go.

 

[White Man]

Jesus. I used to think she was just an ultra-right cornball, but I'm genuinely wondering about her mental state after reading that. That's an awful lot of hyperbole and hate.

 

[Kobun Heat]

It's supposed to be hyperbolic. Had USA Today ever even READ a Coulter column before signing her to this deal?

They're entitled to kill the pieces, of course, but the catch is that they'd hired Michael Moore to cover the RNC next month. Ten bucks says his columns will be much more inflammatory... and that USA Today will run each and every one of them.

 

[Saint Cornelius]

It's supposed to be hyperbolic. Had USA Today ever even READ a Coulter column before signing her to this deal?

They're entitled to kill the pieces, of course, but the catch is that they'd hired Michael Moore to cover the RNC next month. Ten bucks says his columns will be much more inflammatory... and that USA Today will run each and every one of them.

Ever play that game, Lemmings?

 

[mightynine]

They're entitled to kill the pieces, of course, but the catch is that they'd hired Michael Moore to cover the RNC next month. Ten bucks says his columns will be much more inflammatory... and that USA Today will run each and every one of them.

Yeah, probably because they might make...I don't know, some sense.

But this article...this article makes no sense. The whole 7/11 thing, I mean, WTF? You can be full of hyperbole, and still at least make it somewhat entertaining.

 

[Kobun Heat]

The whole 7/11 thing, I mean, WTF? You can be full of hyperbole, and still at least make it somewhat entertaining.

It's... humor. It's a joke. If it doesn't make you chuckle... no harm, no foul.

 

[fart]

i think the 7-11 thing has to do with the negro threat to convenience store workers in america's harsh inner city.

like "how can you be a peacenik when 11 year old darkies are robbing the hard earned tills of our nation's convenience stores?! we need more cops to bust heads and less peaceniks to smoke pot lol AM I RITE???"

i'm not really sure though.

 

[mightynine]

It's... humor. It's a joke. If it doesn't make you chuckle... no harm, no foul.

But it's a BAD joke.

And in all honesty, I probably wouldn't want to read Moore's articles from the RNC. Unless he actually plays it straight.

 

[FoneBone]

I despise Ann Coulter. Total cunt (and she's pretty much the only person I can think of who I'd call that).
http://www.pandagon.net/mtarchives/002936.html

USA Today Does Something Stupid
Crazy Insane Bitch Goddess takes her hormones today and manages to choke out a piece about the Democratic Convention.

(Incidentally, I will be looking for Horseface Killah at the convention, if for no other reason than to ask her why she's so crazy. Of course, I'm a Democrat, so she'll just break out her well-thumbed insult thesaurus and unleash on me with the P section. If you see a puerile, perturbed pussy, that's me, most likely.)

I just wanted to remark on this section, near the end of a series of complaints so entirely stupid that they could be in a Zell Miller speech:

Walking back from the convention site, I chatted with a normal Bostonian for several blocks – who must have identified me through our covert system of signals

Yes, the covert signal of Ann being the specter of death is one that's hard to miss. The rattling of her bones, the ghoulish smile, the bizarre cackle around small children and furry animals...I'm just going to look around for the coldest, most desolate corner of the Fleet, and chances are, Ann will be there, feasting of the delicate flesh of a liberal man, tossing away the soft gristle into a bloody trash can.

Townhall is right about one thing - USA Today really shouldn't be surprised at anything Ann Coulter writes. You hire John Grisham, you get a story about an intrepid male lawyer around Grisham's age who eventually does something that shows up people who either practice bad law or hate lawyers. You hire Carl Hiassen, you get something about Florida. You get Ann Coulter, you get something that's the written equivalent of a battery acid enema. It's the way these things work.

USA Today's hired Coulter and Michael Moore to cover the convention, by the way. It was a blatantly stupid attempt (particularly in terms of Coulter) to inject some excitement into the proceedings, and USA Today should just die on their poorly conceived sword.

 

[Dead]

shes a dirty filthy whore. Nothing new here.

 

[pnjtony]

She strikes me as insane. A lot of people compare her to Michael Moore for the right, but I think she's far more hatefull and immature. Like even in Moore's lastest movie it's not like he calls Bush a nazi or anything. He just believes that Bush is a detriment to society and needs to be booted out. While Coulter calls dems the French Party.

 

[Sirpopopop]

Need a link plz

 

[FoneBone]

Need a link plz

http://www.townhall.com/columnists/anncoulter/ac20040726.shtml

 

[way more]

I kind of like her, just because she is the only republican with any humor. She spoke at my college and was booed horribly but she stood up to it pretty well. Some name calling insued and it was pretty funny.

 

[The Promised One]

Well, anyone who is a big fan of Moore, but thinks she's totally nuts is a hypocrite.

I find her amusing from time to time, but that's about it.

And that article was stupid.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

"She looks like a melted barbie doll".

 

[Hitokage]

Well, anyone who is a big fan of Moore, but thinks she's totally nuts is a hypocrite.

Right, because they are so much alike.

Moore's off saying what a bad president Bush is while Coulter is extolling how much of an American hero Senator McCarthy was. Sorry, but we're talking about two different levels here.

 

[MetatronM]

Well, anyone who is a big fan of Moore, but thinks she's totally nuts is a hypocrite.

I find her amusing from time to time, but that's about it.

And that article was stupid.

Moore's an idiot, but Coulter is just a flat out bitch.

I mean:

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do.

WTF?!

 

[Agent Dormer]

Ann Coulter, I'd so defy UN sanctions to fuck you.

 

[Dan]

As far as I'm concerned neither Michael Moore nor Ann Coulter are actually interested in intelligent discussion of politics and its respective issues. Both are primarily concerned with their own images and the money they can make by stirring up controversy. Michael Moore is simply far better at playing this game than Coulter is. I could do without both.

 

[Meier]

Hirsute is a good word.

 

[way more]

Moore's off saying what a bad president Bush is while Coulter is extolling how much of an American hero Senator McCarthy was.

I remember that, God it was hilarious.

 

[Pimpwerx]

Ann Coulter is a bitch. Her annoyingness has been her meal ticket. She made Ariana Huffington seem bareable at times back in the Clinton days. That says a lot IMO. Still, USA Today shouldn't act like this was unexpected. PEACE.

 

[teiresias]

This is analogous to the whole MSNBC/Michael Savage situation, why do these news outlets put themselves in these ridiculous positions with these bigotted, hateful people?

 

[Ill Saint]

Whenever I read (or try to, rather) Coulters ramblings, she just comes across as a really bitter, angry, hateful, and unhappy person. Basically, a really sad human being. She's just so full of unpleasent vitriol, and none of it is amusing (except maybe in some sort of perverse way).

And really, anyone who still devotes so much time to spewing hate on Clinton has got to have serious mental issues.

 

[Thaedolus]

I had a roommate from last year that was a big fan of Ann Coulter. He would read us quotes from her book and wondered why we weren't rolling on the floor with him. Damn I hated him...

AND I'M A REPUBLICAN!

 

[Minotauro]

Ann Coulter, I'd so defy UN sanctions to fuck you.

I'd hit it too...assuming she's up for anal and wouldn't mind me punching her in the back of the head while it's going on.

 

[Mega Man's Electric Sheep]

I had never read any of her stuff before, so after reading this I searched and found this article, where she reacts to 9/11:

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."

http://www.nationalreview.com/coulter/coulter091301.shtml

 

[Slurpy]

What a disgusting individual. The fucking sum of mankind.

 

[SolidSnakex]

She seems like a joke character alot of the time. She's basically seems like every stereotype you've ever heard about Republicans all rolled into 1 person.

 

[Agent Dormer]

I'd hit it too...assuming she's up for anal and wouldn't mind me punching her in the back of the head while it's going on.

WE DON'T NEED DETAILS.

 

[Zaptruder]

If there was a God and he had a nemesis in the form of the Devil... people like Ann Coulter would undoubtedly be subversive agents of hell, trumpeting the Lords name but otherwise just spewing out the most evil and foul of thoughts... They don't have to reserve a place for her in hell; because she's visiting earth from it.

 

[Mumbles]

And then there was the time she tried to run as a libertarian. They rejected her because she wasn't a libertarian, and she basically threw a hissy fit. Hiring her to write for you does get publicity, but it basically blasts your credibility straight down the shitter.

And no, she's not analogous to Moore. O'Reilly is a much better choice here - they both specialize in half-truths, doctored quotes, and so forth. Ann Coulter is some kind of victorian-era stereotypical woman.

 

[Vibri]

The difference is Michael Moore comes off as genuinely funny. Ann Coulter comes off sounding like a mean, bitter bitch.

 

[The Promised One]

The difference is Michael Moore comes off as genuinely funny. Ann Coulter comes off sounding like a mean, bitter bitch.

Moore has never made me laugh, Coulter has. But she is a bitch.

 

[Mercury Fred]

I'd hit it too...assuming she's up for anal and wouldn't mind me punching her in the back of the head while it's going on.

I just spit yogurt out laughing at this. Don't know quite why it struck me so funny...

 

[Hamfam]

It's okay. If you haven't guessed it by now from her constant sarcastic tone. Anne Coulter is just a joke character.

 

[Flynn]

Her vagina is dry and dusty.

 

[Triumph]

With Ann Coulter, no matter what the question is, the correct answer is ALWAYS "Because she's a crazy, villainous hatemongering c*nt." And folks, I don't advocate dropping the c-bomb lightly, but it's time we call her what she is. As for her views on Democrats and Liberals, I for one highly advocate shipping her sorry ass to Woody Creek, Colorado, where Hunter S. Thompson can show her that not all "Liberals" hate guns. Some of them own them, and would simply LOVE to use them on her.

 

[Flynn]

With Ann Coulter, no matter what the question is, the correct answer is ALWAYS "Because she's a crazy, villainous hatemongering c*nt." And folks, I don't advocate dropping the c-bomb lightly, but it's time we call her what she is. As for her views on Democrats and Liberals, I for one highly advocate shipping her sorry ass to Woody Creek, Colorado, where Hunter S. Thompson can show her that not all "Liberals" hate guns. Some of them own them, and would simply LOVE to use them on her.

Kudos

 

[Teddman]

Here's the USA Today editorial notes on Coulter's column.

http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?print=yes&id=4610

I pretty much agree with them... The humor and references in the piece were just way out of left field, didn't make enough sense to be funny. Reminded me of a Dennis Miller style on a bad day, or some of the political commentary I used to read in the college newspaper.

 

[fart]

"Examples of their specific complaints are in ALL CAPS below. (Most of it was nonspecific B.S. about ... my column not being 'humorous' or 'coherent')."

yep

 

[Teddman]

How was most of it "nonspecific B.S."? Out of 7 USA Today comments, 5 of them specifically cited a passage in her column.

 

[Triumph]

How was most of it "nonspecific B.S."? Out of 7 USA Today comments, 5 of them specifically cited a passage in her column.

Why do you hate America?

 

[fart]

because it's full of freedom loving people allah akbar

i have no idea how to run a 7-11, there i'm a terrorist.

 

[Teddman]

Oh I see, you were agreeing with the part about it not being humorous or coherent. Sorry...

 

[fart]

you made a good point anyway since that quote was her claiming that USA today was throwing specific comments about nonspecific BS at her (seriously, look at the quote holy shit it's either the worst self parody ever or she's just retarded)

 

[GDGF]

Futami!