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[bishoptl]

Today: Varsity Blues.

Just to complicate things, Mox is dating Lance's sister, Jules (played by Smart), who's cute in an "I'm dating the backup QB" kinda way. In other words, she has small breasts.

He plays for West Canaan High, a perennial powerhouse coached by the legendary Bud Kilmer, played by "The Champ" himself, Jon Voight (back when he was making 20 movies a year so people would stop calling him "Angelina Jolie's Dad").

None of these things is bad. In fact, the Token Hot Blonde Chick theft from the previous paragraph? That leads to a scene where the THBC (played by Larter in a "Magic Johnson in Game 6 of the '80 Finals"-level rookie performance) gets undressed in his car, then coos things like "You don't always have to do the right thing, Mox." She also lures him over to her house and makes him a hot fudge sundae ... which basically involves her covering her body in whipped cream. Um ... where can I place my order? Can I get that to go?

At halftime, Dawson leads the rebellion against Coach Kilmer, eventually driving him out of the locker room and high school football altogether (although they should have had him shoot himself like the Warden at the end of "Shawshank").

When a talent like James Van Der Beek goes to that "place," the place that great actors hit from time to time ... I mean, we're just putty in his hands.

 

[ConfusingJazz]

I thought this article was really good, until I read the definative analysis of the Karate Kid Trilogy.

Holy shit, I hadn't read that one before, but I just could not stop laughing, even at work.

Best. Movie. Analysis. Ever.

 

[Fowler]

Shaolin Soccer better be in the top 72 somewhere. I do not care where.

 

[calder]

The Karate Kid piece is the funniest shit I've read in AGES. :lol:

 

[levious]

he doesn't mention that the psuedo love interest leaves half way through part III for no apparent reason. That's something that's cracked me up for years.

 

[Baconäger]

Heh, the Karate Kid one is good.

On a related note, "Sweep The Leg Johnny" has to be the coolest band name ever.

 

[DJ_Tet]

I loved the piece, but I liked Karate Kid II. In fact, I saw it so much in the theatre that I might have single-handedly been responsible for the trash known as KKIII being made.

"Is this that same piece of wood we find on beach that day?"

"SAME!! "


and..

"Remember uncle, I am dead to you!" as Chozen (or JK) goes apeshit.

I also liked how the crane kick was neutralized by a REAL karate expert The drum punch was lame though.

I'll admit that Karate Kid is a classic 80's movie, just watched it on Bravo a couple of weeks ago. But KKII gets shit on a little too much for my liking. Hell I still like Peter Cetera songs because of that movie hah.

I haven't seen it in ages though, so it may be my kid goggles talking.

Ralph Macchio gave William Zabka mad props for his "sell" of the crane kick during an ESPN Classic interview. That head snap made the movie.

"Oh yeah, you didn't stay around for the grand finale."

"What was that? His hand on her ass?"

"No, her left hook!"

What a great movie

 

[J2 Cool]

Regardless, he's the backup for superstar QB Lance Harbor -- played by Walker, still about three years away from ripping off Keanu Reeves's career with the "Fast and the Furious" series.

And yet, as the years pass, the following mathematical equation ...

("Friday Night Lights" + "All the Right Moves") x (MTV + Cinemax) = Good Times

... is starting to look like something Einstein came up with.

The team heading to a strip joint and seeing one of their teachers come on stage, lifted directly from "The White Shadow" (although in this case, she ends up getting drunk with the players, which would have been the most improbable scene in the history of cinema if it wasn't for Van Damme playing goalie in "Sudden Death").

In the second half, the kids coach themselves, led by Lance Harbor on crutches. Again, this is fine. In fact, if the '92 Blazers had done this, they could have won the title that year.

LOL, Bill Simmons kills me.

 

[Guileless]

Man I love Varsity Blues. I watch it every August right before football starts, Simmons is right it is one of the most rewatchable films ever made.

-I am a big admirer of bad Southern accents, and I think Dawson's in this movie may be the worst one ever committed to film. Perhaps second only to Keanu Reeves in The Devil's Advocate.

-Jon Voight makes this movie 100 times better. If he weren't in it, it just wouldn't be the same. He's just so damn malevolent.

-The football actions scenes are really good. The sequence set to "Thunderstruck" is ace.

 

[impirius]

Okay, maybe you can't do it justice in print. But Dawson ripping off that "But I don't ... want ... your life" line with that dreadful Texas accent ... I mean, does it get any better than that? I could watch that 100 times. In fact, I just did.

There's little doubt in my mind that TSG just stopped writing his column before that last sentence, put in his Varsity Blues DVD, and watched that moment over and over. What a commitment to his craft.

 

[Miguel]

For me, it's The Program. I watch that movie every year before football season.

Poor Mack.
Lattimer's a jerk...and CAIN IS ABLE!

 

[Shinobi]

If Grand Prix didn't make that list, he'll pay with his life...