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[Advocatus Diaboli]

Talking to such a pretty girl on tinder, Im sure a mutual cultural background got her to swipe right on me. How do I seal the deal?

I tend to talk to people for a long time and never seal the deal, as people just fade away. Half the time, Im just not interested myself. I dont want to ask her out too fast, but I also dont want to wait too long.

You really can't ask someone out too fast. The fact that you're deliberating over this means you're waiting too long.

Again: of the people I had conversations with, 100% of them went on dates with me. 0% ghosted. 100% gave me their number if I asked. All of 1 (out of like, 100) stood me up, because she forgot, I was meh about it, and I didn't care enough to confirm, because I was texting my friend for backup plans instead. I suck at many things in life (and go check out the "looking for jobs is soul-crushing and horrible" thread if you want proof), but gaming the fuck out of OKCupid was not one of them. I'm the goddamned Steph Curry of this shit. (Now, actually maintaining a relationship, by the way, is so much harder and I kinda suck at this too, and there have obviously been issues there.)

Anyway, you're talking. You're vibing. Suggest something to do. If someone likes you (and you can determine liking pretty damn fast) and you suggest something that's fun and non-threatening (e.g., on my end: ramen taste-test, drinks, my pizza joint is way better than yours, drinks, museum), they're going to say yes. That's the thing: if someone's talking to you, thinks you're attractive, and you're being engaging, you basically need to not give them a reason to say no.

All this talk of "we talked and talked and we were so into each other, and then she disappeared at the 11th hour" seems disingenuous to me. You got this. Just stop overthinking it. You seal the deal by saying that she seems fun and you want to do something interesting but not-too-interesting . . .

Oh, and you need to respect the Unwritten Rules of Online Dating. That means it's super easy to seal a drink after work. Much harder (and foolish) to attempt anything longer, although with my last ex-girlfriend, our first date was a winery about 45 minutes out of the city. So, who knows. Be brave and be bold, if you think it's warranted.

 

[TimeEffect]

You really can't ask someone out too fast. The fact that you're deliberating over this means you're waiting too long.

Again: of the people I had conversations with, 100% of them went on dates with me. 0% ghosted. 100% gave me their number if I asked. All of 1 (out of like, 100) stood me up, because she forgot, I was meh about it, and I didn't care enough to confirm, because I was texting my friend for backup plans instead. I suck at many things in life (and go check out the "looking for jobs is soul-crushing and horrible" thread if you want proof), but gaming the fuck out of OKCupid was not one of them. I'm the goddamned Steph Curry of this shit. (Now, actually maintaining a relationship, by the way, is so much harder and I kinda suck at this too, and there have obviously been issues there.)

Anyway, you're talking. You're vibing. Suggest something to do. If someone likes you (and you can determine liking pretty damn fast) and you suggest something that's fun and non-threatening (e.g., on my end: ramen taste-test, drinks, my pizza joint is way better than yours, drinks, museum), they're going to say yes. That's the thing: if someone's talking to you, thinks you're attractive, and you're being engaging, you basically need to not give them a reason to say no.

All this talk of "we talked and talked and we were so into each other, and then she disappeared at the 11th hour" seems disingenuous to me. You got this. Just stop overthinking it. You seal the deal by saying that she seems fun and you want to do something interesting but not-too-interesting . . .

Oh, and you need to respect the Unwritten Rules of Online Dating. That means it's super easy to seal a drink after work. Much harder (and foolish) to attempt anything longer, although with my last ex-girlfriend, our first date was a winery about 45 minutes out of the city. So, who knows. Be brave and be bold, if you think it's warranted.

I've literally said like 4 lines to her, so I dont want to come on too fast.

I've found before that some girls are more wishwashy about meeting. Maybe its my fault for not giving a firm timeframe, and maybe they just talked to someone more their type.

Ill just ask her now.

...I once talked to to a tinder match for approximately.... 5 months. lol

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I've literally said like 4 lines to her, so I dont want to come on too fast.

I've found before that some girls are more wishwashy about meeting. Maybe its my fault for not giving a firm timeframe, and maybe they just talked to someone more their type.

Ill just ask her now.

...I once talked to to a tinder match for approximately.... 5 months. lol

4 lines is too soon. What are those four lines?

Girls aren't "wishy-washy" about meeting. I know a lot of girls. They're on everything from JSwipe to Bumble to Tinder to OKC. What others call reticence, they call ensuring their safety. They're busy, they're accomplished, and they're in demand. What usually happens? Well, they're not going to talk to someone unless there's some initial connection. Literally no one I know has ever fucked with someone for sport: that might happen, but it's by definition the outlier.

On the other hand, usually the conversation takes a turn. First, it turns into a conversation! That's bad. Or the guy says something off-putting, whether it's an unsolicited sexual comment or something that's just plain creepy.

If you're not giving a firm timeframe, you're doing it wrong.

If you're thinking "they talked to someone more their type" rather than wondering "maybe the way I'm communicating could be an issue," you're doing it wrong.

If you're talking to someone for months before asking them out for a drink, you're doing it wrong.

Spoiler

I will Cyrano the fuck out of things for people for $$$ or Amazon Gift Cards.

 

[TimeEffect]

4 lines is too soon. What are those four lines?

Girls aren't "wishy-washy" about meeting. I know a lot of girls. They're on everything from JSwipe to Bumble to Tinder to OKC. What others call reticence, they call ensuring their safety. They're busy, they're accomplished, and they're in demand. What usually happens? Well, they're not going to talk to someone unless there's some initial connection. Literally no one I know has ever fucked with someone for sport: that might happen, but it's by definition the outlier.

On the other hand, usually the conversation takes a turn. First, it turns into a conversation! That's bad. Or the guy says something off-putting, whether it's an unsolicited sexual comment or something that's just plain creepy.

If you're not giving a firm timeframe, you're doing it wrong.

If you're thinking "they talked to someone more their type" rather than wondering "maybe the way I'm communicating could be an issue," you're doing it wrong.

If you're talking to someone for months before asking them out for a drink, you're doing it wrong.

Spoiler

I will Cyrano the fuck out of things for people for $$$ or Amazon Gift Cards.

I meant 6 messages back and forth, consisting of some lines. Anyways, she's going on a road trip...

I never intended to meet the girl I was talking to with for 5 months. It was mostly just a way to kill some boredom. It was mutual, and we'd even talk about her tinder dates. It was more platonic.

And thanks, but it's really not a big deal for me. I mean, I'm sure there are some really good catches out there Im competing with, and sometimes I dont make the cut. Im fine with that, it's no big deal. I feel like my communication is mostly fine with the people I talk to. I just wanted to really see this particular girl, and wanted to make sure I didnt ask too soon or too late.

This girl is gone for a month though.

 

[ZackieChan]

How mewny

 

[User 479360]

Ahh, the suicidal girl. You're playing with fire, my friend.

Perhaps. But if we're just FWB it shouldn't be too bad.

I'm depressed/suicidal myself, but she's worse. I try to help her.

 

[ZackieChan]

Perhaps. But if we're just FWB it shouldn't be too bad.

I'm depressed/suicidal myself, but she's worse. I try to help her.

Hmm, proceed with caution. You don't need any more stressors in your life, my friend.

 

[Salamando]

Hmm, proceed with caution. You don't need any more stressors in your life, my friend.

Proceed with caution indeed. Girl's suicidal, and she reaches out to a guy she's met only twice before. Then they decide to celebrate with drinks. Because if there's one thing that mixes well with psych meds and depression, it's alcohol. The night's capstoned by her trying to bribe you with sex to play videogames. That there is a faulty condom away from a Maury Povich segment.

 

[Kurtofan]

By the way here's an old picture of me with a full bear, what is better, current facial hair or full beard.

(also i know my posture is terrible, I don't know where to put my arms and hands!)

here's the old bad pic

 

[ZackieChan]

By the way here's an old picture of me with a full bear, what is better, current facial hair or full beard.

(also i know my posture is terrible, I don't know where to put my arms and hands!)

here's the old bad pic

Do you ever leave the house? Go somewhere cool for your photo.

 

[War Peaceman]

Do you have a ponytail, kurt?

The thing is you could be quite handsome if you dressed better, had better posture and sorted out the hair/beard. There is absolutely nothing wrong and quite a lot right with how you are physically.

 

[Salamando]

By the way here's an old picture of me with a full bear, what is better, current facial hair or full beard.

(also i know my posture is terrible, I don't know where to put my arms and hands!)

here's the old bad pic

Scruff can work, but it can't be combined with numerous other "sloppy" choices. It has to look intentional and not lazy. Proper fitting clothes and a maintained hairstyle go a long way in that regard.

Hard to judge your beard, since the camera's a bit shit and I can't tell what all's going on. If you do go beard, keep it neat. Maintain proper chinlines and trim when necessary. After you get some good growth, visit a gentleman barber and have him set you up.

 

[True Savior]

Talking to such a pretty girl on tinder, Im sure a mutual cultural background got her to swipe right on me. How do I seal the deal?

I tend to talk to people for a long time and never seal the deal, as people just fade away. Half the time, Im just not interested myself. I dont want to ask her out too fast, but I also dont want to wait too long.

First take her out from Tinder. Phone shows interest (whatsapp or whatever you use in your country)

Fast or not, it's impossible to know. I asked a girl out the other day and she said it was it very quick lol (we texted for 3 days!). Some girls like the readiness of the guys. But from my experience a lot o Tinder girls are kinda reluctant to immediately meet (probably one of the reasons they are there). Try to make the person conformable.

As for when, when you are engaged in a conversation. Don't send a loose invite out of nowhere. Talk and when the conversation is rolling ask. And be explicit. Let's do this on the day and hour. A "maybe", "we'll see", a remark about the invite itself without saying yes or no, you can do think about it as much as you want bu that is a No.

It's not hard.

 

[Kurtofan]

Do you ever leave the house? Go somewhere cool for your photo.

Hmm I guess I could go : to the park next to my house, the university library , the theatre where I have my theatre classes, the gym, the mall... thing is my phone is a bit shit.

Do you have a ponytail, kurt?

The thing is you could be quite handsome if you dressed better, had better posture and sorted out the hair/beard. There is absolutely nothing wrong and quite a lot right with how you are physically.

Yup, that's a ponytail!

im thinking of ditching glasses or at least changing them, I hate my current ones, they fall down all the time.

 

[War Peaceman]

Hmm I guess I could go : to the park next to my house, the university library , the theatre where I have my theatre classes, the gym, the mall... thing is my phone is a bit shit.



Yup, that's a ponytail!

im thinking of ditching glasses or at least changing them, I hate my current ones, they fall down all the time.

Cut the ponytail. Beard and ponytail just doesn't work. Ponytails are terrible. Short hair. Get it nice and styled.

Also, new glasses was something I'd suggest. I have no knowledge on glasses but thick rimmed ones look great on women so maybe consider them?

 

[Kurtofan]

how about a bun. I really don't want to cut my hair

 

[Lucian Cat]

Remember that I'm doing this for your own good. Fais-moi confiance, OK?

• Your shirt is too big.
• Your shirt is wrinkled.
• One sleeve is awkwardly higher than the other.
• The V-neck is weirdly skewed to the side.
• It's just a terrible shirt in general.
• The pants aren't better. It looks like you're trying to hide being fat, which you aren't.
• Your hands are passively stuck in your pockets.
• Your hair is partially combed so that it peaks at the top: it looks fuzzy there and isn't flattering.
• This is a selfie inside your own house.
• I'm staring at the bowls of cat food in the background.
• Your eyes aren't visible.
• Shaving might do you better; the facial hair you currently have doesn't do you any favors.
• The picture isn't of you doing anything: it's just you in your place.
• Have friends take a picture of you doing something, and make sure that you wear better clothes.

Agree with all of these. I probably wouldn't talk to you if you had that as your profile pic

Edit: Trim the hair at least, get it shaped up. Some of us like long hair and beards but they have to be well maintained.

 

[Kurtofan]

What do you mean by hair trimming?

 

[GatorBait]

Got stood up for the first time ever last night. Met the girl on Bumble. Got her number after a handful of messages back-and-forth, and then had been texting on-and-off for about 1.5 weeks until we could get together to meet. Conversation flowed great and she seemed to be investing in her messages. Up to the day of the "date" she was indicating she'd be there - we set the exact time to meet up that evening during the mid-afternoon day-of. I show up at the agreed time and call. No answer (rings through to voicemail). Text 10 minutes later asking if she is close. No answer. Call one last time 10 minutes later and I get sent straight to voicemail.

Luckily, I had her meet me at a block party in downtown close to my place, so I didn't have to go too far out of my way and didn't get stuck in an embarrassing situation. Still, feels bad, man.

 

[Lucian Cat]

What do you mean by hair trimming?

Tidy it up a bit, style it etc. Idk what guys can do honestly. As for the face hair either shave it completely or style that up as well. Women love a well groomed beard. The in between fuzz isn't the best look.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Here are my tips, Kurtofan:

-Take the glasses off. It's a bit dishonest, but people wear contacts.
-Straighten your clothes.
-Is your university library a nice building on the outside? Pretend you're a tourist and ask a passersby to take a picture of you in front of it. Same applies to your theatre.
-If you're in theatre you must do some sort of performing. Performances mean photos.

You have a nice smile so some better clothes, grooming, posture, and environment would work wonders.

 

[Kurtofan]

I have another pic without glasses (but also without smiles, also my room)

I call it "Gazing at the unknown"

(sorry for dumping my pics on the thread like that, hopefully it's no bother)

 

[TerminalDogma]

So a couple nights ago I had the most forward match I've ever gotten on Tinder. We matched, she said the always exciting "hi", which I replied with an equally exciting "Hey there. How's your Memorial Weekend going?". She states "Fine. Are you looking to date or hook up?". I literally just moved back to my hometown in NJ a day before, and was really just swiping on Tinder to kill time/force of habit. Not really looking for anything until I get everything involving moving/finding a new job straightened out. Which I tell her. She replies "Well, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm looking to hook up. Heres (girls address). I'm free tonight so if you don't drive I can come to you".

It surprised the hell out of me. I told her I wasn't free tonight and next time I am I'll let her know, but honestly I've never just hooked up with a complete stranger before and the thought of it doesn't really appeal to me. Not even a little date before just....I dunno I can't wrap my head around it. Does that make me crazy? Did I fuck up, GAF?

 

[bluethree]

No, you didn't fuck up at all if that's not what you genuinely want. The one time I had a really forward Tinder match (when I asked Where do you live? she literally gave me the name of the hotel she was staying at, she was a tourist and I didn't know), I didn't end up pursuing it either.

If you're looking for regular dates you should probably be clear about that on your profile though.

 

[electricshake]

What do you mean by hair trimming?

Go to a stylist rather than a barber and get it cut there. I think you should go short but if you're set on keeping it at least get it styled. Also if you're thinking about new glasses I suggest plastic frame, I think they look much better (but that could be because I don't suit metal frames so I hate them).

 

[Salamando]

If a girl asks if you're doing anything fun this weekend, should it be seen the same way as if a guy did it? As in, it's the weakest form of asking someone out?

Scenario: Talking with this girl on OKC. We have 8 messages between us, 4 per person. Last one ended with asking the aforementioned question.

My initial plan was to get her number this weekend, and try to set up something for next week. With that question, I'm wondering if I should reply something to the effect of "Not really, besides watching the Pens on Saturday night. Interested in grabbing drinks after work tomorrow?"

 

[GK86]

"I was going to do X thing this weekend. Would be more fun if you joined me."

 

[Salamando]

"I was going to do X thing this weekend. Would be more fun if you joined me."

Didn't get the answer I wanted, but got something I could work with: busy with an explicit excuse, and a suggestion that we meet up sometime next week instead. Works for me, since that gives me time to get a haircut (its been two months...). Also puts me back in the realm of "I know how the fuck to respond to this"

 

[ZackieChan]

I have another pic without glasses (but also without smiles, also my room)



I call it "Gazing at the unknown"

(sorry for dumping my pics on the thread like that, hopefully it's no bother)

So you're not listening to ANYTHING people are telling you?

Better photo, though. At least there's no cat food in this one.

Didn't get the answer I wanted, but got something I could work with: busy with an explicit excuse, and a suggestion that we meet up sometime next week instead. Works for me, since that gives me time to get a haircut (its been two months...). Also puts me back in the realm of "I know how the fuck to respond to this"

I feel like we need a set of principles that people can refer to, rather than having to ask specific questions all the time.

 

[Salamando]

I feel like we need a set of principles that people can refer to, rather than having to ask specific questions all the time.

As if people would pay attention to a random FAQ in the first post when they have problems listening to advice that's directed at their particular situation.

Yes, I recognize the irony here given I just asked how to react to a girl who was expressing interest in my weekend plans. It was a special case, I swearz!

 

[ZackieChan]

As if people would pay attention to a random FAQ in the first post when they have problems listening to advice that's directed at their particular situation.

Yes, I recognize the irony here given I just asked how to react to a girl who was expressing interest in my weekend plans. It was a special case, I swearz!

At some point, we get so used to rejection, we don't know how to respond to anything positive. It's the Dating-Gaf way.

 

[Salamando]

At some point, we get so used to rejection, we don't know how to respond to anything positive. It's the Dating-Gaf way.

Man, you have no idea. Few months back, I was in a bar chatting with a girl. Her girlfriends were getting ready to leave, so she got up to go with them. The following conversation went something like...
Me: "Good night!"
Her: "....aren't you going to ask for my number"
M: "Huh, what?"
H: "Aren't you going to ask for my number??"
M: "Oh, um, are you giving me your number?"
H: "Well, maybe if you ask for it"

 

[ZackieChan]

Did you get her number? I assume you Gaf-Man'd and asked what to do here.

 

[Salamando]

Did you get her number? I assume you Gaf-Man'd and asked what to do here.

Well I ran to the bathroom to ask GAF, and by the time I came back she was gone.

Spoiler

Got her number, set up a Netflix and chill scenario, she flaked, I moved on.

 

[Kurtofan]

So you're not listening to ANYTHING people are telling you?

Better photo, though. At least there's no cat food in this one.

those are pics I made before, man, why are you screaming at me I'm just posting the pics I have of me right now.

I don't take pictures everyday! It would require some preparations (a lot of it in fact). don't stress me out like that.

 

[ZackieChan]

those are pics I made before, man, why are you screaming at me I'm just posting the pics I have of me right now.

I don't take pictures everyday! It would require some preparations (a lot of it in fact). don't stress me out like that.

First of all, don't get stressed out because of a post on Neogaf. Second, I still dont know why you would post more pics that have the same problem as before (minus the cat food &#128521.

Take some pictures today, dammit!

 

[Kurtofan]

First of all, don't get stressed out because of a post on Neogaf. Second, I still dont know why you would post more pics that have the same problem as before (minus the cat food �&#65533.

Take some pictures today, dammit!

haha sorry I get stresssed real easy! ^^

Today isn't great, the weather is lousy, trains are on strikes, ...

also I had a hard time putting it into words earlier in this thread (english isn't my first language) but I think a bot is following me on okcupid. Three visitors (different accounts) with different pictures, similar usernames (same first name), same age and same location.

Now, what do bots on dating websites do exactly?

The latest visitor is a bit different (a real no effort profile text, a different match rate...) is there a way to be sure it's a bot?

 

[Salamando]

Now, what do bots on dating websites do exactly?

The latest visitor is a bit different (a real no effort profile text, a different match rate...) is there a way to be sure it's a bot?

Bots just prey on men who're more horny and lonely than they are smart. Far as I can tell, they fit in one of two categories: camgirls (give me money to watch me play with myself) and financial dominatrices (give me money and I'll acknowledge your existence, you pathetic excuse for a human).

If a girl has one pic, has only answered a handful of questions, and their "about me" is just a paragraph, they're probably a bot. Even if you message one and they turn out to be a bot, just block her and move on, and never click links a random girl sends your way.

 

[Symphonia]

I have no end of bots trying to message me. They usually start with the 'Hi sexy' line, which is an immediate warning sign, as I know I'm not sexy. Then they post an entire paragraph, begging me to come watch their shows. No, thanks.

 

[ZackieChan]

I'm not even good enough for bots, apparently.

 

[TimeEffect]

So anyone want to criticize/help me select pics for my profile? Ill send a link.

 

[ZackieChan]

So anyone want to criticize/help me select pics for my profile? Ill send a link.

I'd just go with your avatar pic

 

[Salamando]

So anyone want to criticize/help me select pics for my profile? Ill send a link.

I'll give it a look over. PM me.

 

[Zushin]

So anyone from Melbourne AU able to recommend some good places to go for a first date? I'm not from Melbourne (about 2 hours away) but got a date lined up about but I've got no idea where we should go!

 

[Jhoan]

Latest updates:

After speaking to a few friends, I realized that in the end of the day, if a girl doesn't like that I don't have my life figured out, another one will. I'm not going to change my inner self just for that. I keep trucking along. Going to two drawing events next week and signed up to volunteer at an event later this month and another one in July. My boss wants me to attend a few events this month that he's covering.

I got buzzed a few days days ago at a drawing event (which had its share of attractive girls might I add) and went on a massive Quickmatch swiping spree on OKC. Ended up with a crap ton of matches and a handful of messages that I've yet to respond to because it's overwhelming. I deleted the ones that I wasn't interested in or didn't catch my attention. However as a result...

I'm meeting up with a woman my age later today in my neighborhood to through a park. Her face looks older than her age possibly because she's originally from the Midwest so she has a plain look going on. Pretty sure this one is going to be meh but I'm trying not to be so dismissive. I'm hoping this is one of those cases where the person looks better in person than in their pictures since she only has two pictures.

Meeting up with another one who's 29 and bisexual next Friday night at my neighborhood Starbucks. I looked through her survey questions and she sounds like a wild one given that she has a few tattoos that I'm curious about. Her biggest vice is that she drinks 3 cups of Joe a day (I don't drink coffee) but I'm willing to overlook it. I imagine she's super jittery. She visited my profile again last night after we had set the plans up.

I've been talking to a 34 year old on OKC. My Only concern about her is that she only has one picture of herself meaning that she's self-conscious about her body. If anything, I'll ask for more pics once I get her number but honestly, I feel like giving her the fade.

I deleted my Bumble account yesterday after realizing that it was proving to be a waste of time. Maybe I'll download it again in a month or two but not too keen on it.

Tinder messages have dried up more or less. I've been going back and forth with this one girl who responds every 1-2 days and followed up with a few other girls. It might be time for a picture change soon.

 

[User 479360]

I texted the girl who I thought was ghosting me last night, while I was at a friend's having some drinks. It went pretty well, until my friend 'helped.'

I asked her how she was feeling, and she said not that well, and that she'd called into work last night. I told her I hoped she'd get feeling better soon, and that I thought I'd text to see how she was. Her reply was, "I'm dying lol," so I put an unhappy face.

A little later, I sent a message saying, "Maybe when you're feeling better we can do something?" and she said sure.

My friend wanted to see a picture, so I looked her up on OKC. Her profile was deleted, though, so I asked her about that. Apparently too many guys were just looking for hookups and she got sick of it. So, she sent me a picture and I let him see it on my phone.

Of course, he texted her and asked for boobs, which she said no to. She laughed about it when I said it was him, but I hope he didn't fuck things up.

EDIT: Got a text from the depressed girl. She wanted to know if she could pay me $40 to DD her tonight. I said I didn't think I could, because I drank too much last night and am paying for it. I also want to game tonight/need to finish something.

 

[Jhoan]

Date went really well. It was really fun. I'll definitely be seeing her again. She gave me a handshake initially which I thought was odd. Although one problem: I talk too damn much but I think she was liking it all since it was in my neighborhood and she never been to the area.

I had an opportunity to make out with her when we were by the river my sitting side by side. In the end it ended with a hug and she gave me a cute kiss on the cheek in the end and I reciprocated. Told me to text her and smiled as went off. She's studying for a big medical exam that's 8 hours long and in 2 weeks but even the busiest med students can take time off to date.

I'm going to have to reread Mark Mason's Just Kiss Her article again until it's drilled into my head.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Hmm. First day in over five months that I haven't talked to my (ex)-girlfriend, with whom I'm on a break "until next Thursday." And I'm going to a party tomorrow that she was meant to be my +1, but obviously I'm going solo. This doesn't really bode well, I'm guessing.

 

[Assanova]

Hmm. First day in over five months that I haven't talked to my (ex)-girlfriend, with whom I'm on a break "until next Thursday." And I'm going to a party tomorrow that she was meant to be my +1, but obviously I'm going solo. This doesn't really bode well, I'm guessing.

Care to share why she wanted a break? And it's not always doom and gloom. it can definitely work out in your favor if you play your cards right.

 

[victreeb3l]

I literally have no idea how to write my bio. I started and all I have is "Hey I'm effingvic and I like X, Y, Z"

Not sure how to start it or end it. Do I talk about my job? I have a cool design job but I dont know how much is appropriate to talk about. Do I write about what I'm looking for? This is so hard lol.