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Is Mode One an effective dating strategy for men?

German Hops

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
First off, let us describe Mode One:

MODE ONE

When you express your needs, desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in a highly confident, unapologetic, straightforward, and very specific manner; Your behavior is usually highly self-assured, composed, non-defensive, and provocative; You don’t go out of your way to get women to “like” you, or “approve” of your behavior; You are the personification of “egotistical indifference”.
Big Issue: You don’t like your time to be wasted by those women who don’t have a sincere desire to reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual desires and interests; You don’t like to interact with women who are highly manipulative.
(i.e., “game players”)

This is as opposed to other "modes", which are forms of indirect communication, that can often lead to certain failures in dating or even the dreaded, "friendzone" !

To me, Mode One just means being confident and letting the woman know what you want. I'm in my playa stage and I don't want any relationships right now.
I let women know from the jump that I'm not looking for anything serious and just want to have fun. I rarely take women out on dates anymore.
I keep my phone conversations very sexual so they know what I'm about and they know what I want when I invite them to my place to "chill". Just not taking women out on dates than I did when I was Mr. Nice Guy and spending major $$$ on dates.
I've come to realize that women respect a man who is honest about not wanting a relationship and just wants to have fun more than a man that pretends to want a relationship just to get sex.

But , that's simply my take.


How do you feel about Mode One and direct communication in general?

Is it effective for you or a waste of time?

Are you more of a direct or indirect kind of guy?
 
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Dice

Dice

Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
That’s just what women have been doing for ages. These days I don’t trust anyone anymore and I’m open about that and how I am open minded but not pursuing. Seems to make some want me so they always reach out to me. I’ll indulge them some attention now and then but I’m honestly not trying to get into a relationship unless someone somehow proves themselves trustworthy. Quite frankly, I’m not even sure how they could after all I’ve been through the last 2 years. Why some women like a man who doesn’t want a relationship and doesn’t even trust them as a friend, I don’t know, but that’s what I’m encountering. Like really, y’all okay with me only giving you time when/because I’m bored? Okay…
 
Trunx81

Trunx81

Member
f zero nintendo GIF


I’m more a Mode7 guy myself.
 
German Hops

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
E-Cat said:
Sure, that can happen. I just mean she’s gonna overlook any small deficiency in your approach (if you DO approach earnestly) bc her interest level is already so high.
Click to expand...
On the other hand, Mode One also effectively prevents inherently low interest women from feigning high interest and wasting your time.

It's a win-win.
 
German Hops

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
Mode One is definitely not a mode to live by. Everything requires nuance, but in those special circumstances, Mode One is the one.
 
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MastAndo

MastAndo

Member
German Hops said:
I let women know from the jump that I'm not looking for anything serious and just want to have fun. I rarely take women out on dates anymore.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I did that for the past 8 years or so. I went out to bars with friends not looking for anything in particular and if something presented itself, I'd proceed in a casual way, do my thing and go about my business. There's something about so damn relaxing about that lifestyle.

Of course, someone who isn't a bar rat and actually fits the bill as "wifey" material came along out of nowhere and threw everything for a loop. At 43 years of age, I saw no reason why I should play my usual game with someone of this caliber. I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, the clock is ticking, so maybe it was time to grow up and join the rest of the world given the opportunity.

Three months later, we've been through a pretty intense relationship that has been close to breaking a few times. It's been both at times amazing and others mentally taxing in ways I haven't had to deal with in so many years. I'd be lying if I said I didn't catch myself thinking that the old me might have had the right idea.
 
March Climber

March Climber

Member
E-Cat said:
Then wouldn’t any approach be effective anyhow?
Click to expand...
No. As someone who has fumbled an easy opportunity pretty badly before, a high level of initial interest isn’t always a guarantee.

As a matter of fact, plenty of men have fumbled pretty hard and have also failed to pick up on obvious signals. It has happened for arguably hundreds of years.
 
Z

zombrex

Member
Yep, being straightforward has always been the most sucessful "strategy" although this comes natural for alphas.
Humans decide within 5 second what they think of another person.
 
A

arkhamguy123

Member
“Is being open and honest with your intentions to ensure compatibility between both parties a good idea in dating?”

Hmmmm gee man I don’t know. That’s a stumper. I gotta contemplate that one further for sure
 
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Cyberpunkd

Cyberpunkd

Member
zombrex said:
Yep, being straightforward has always been the most sucessful "strategy" although this comes natural for alphas.
Humans decide within 5 second what they think of another person.
Click to expand...
Various research shows people subconsciously decide BEFORE meeting you if that’s the case.
 
bajouras

bajouras

Member
Yeh I was always shy about doing this approach. I was more of a long run type of guy. I usually talked with a girl for like a month before anything happened. Got like 3 times into friendzone state out of 9 and managed to crawl out of it once. So I guess it wasn’t all that bad. Sure it took me a lot to get laid but I feel that once I got there I could stay there for as long as I wanted. On the other hand my now wife made a move on me within like a week of knowing me and well, here we are.
 
navii

navii

My fantasy is that my girlfriend was actually a young high school girl.
I fly under the radar into the like zone and then reveal my intentions. It's kinda like playful flirting over a longer period of time allowing the girl to slowly realise she likes me. Like when a space shuttle enters the atmosphere, enter at too direct an angle and you burn on entry.
 
Biff

Biff

Member
Every 100 hours a guy spends online researching how to act around women is the equivalent of a single hour of real-world experience.

Just like everything else in life, the success of social interactions, no matter the context or goal, is determined by experience. Go out there and fail (while being respectful of course, don't be a creep or an asshole to anyone). I promise by the 10th hour of failing you will be literally a year ahead of the average male "Pick Up Artist" student.
 
Reallink

Reallink

Member
Biff said:
Every 100 hours a guy spends online researching how to act around women is the equivalent of a single hour of real-world experience.

Just like everything else in life, the success of social interactions, no matter the context or goal, is determined by experience. Go out there and fail (while being respectful of course, don't be a creep or an asshole to anyone). I promise by the 10th hour of failing you will be literally a year ahead of the average male "Pick Up Artist" student.
Click to expand...
The PUA man-o-shpere shit is successful because the overwhelming majority of women respond positively to the macho confidence stuff they teach. While men overwhelmingly reject "slutty" women and single mothers in real relationships, women overwhelmingly prefer smooth talking womanizers who they know have bedded dozens. They learn much later, through countless bad experiences (queue "ready to settle down" meme) that their natural preference/inclination is bad for them.
 
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V

Vicetrailia

Member
No matter what “mode” you deploy you can’t escape the numbers game.

One Problem with people on dating apps is that they try to reflect the characteristics of whom they are talking to in order to get a lay. So they go through mad numbers aiming to do that. People who are clear about their intentions right away still go through numbers, because one size does not fit all.
 
Kings Field

Kings Field

Member
I’ll say what I said in another thread here, I work in healthcare and have been for the past 18 years. It literally is easy mode. That’s where I met all of my girlfriends and my wife.

Having said that, I have always been a direct type of person. If I was interested in someone, I found out their life by working with them and used that to my advantage to either focus on that aspect to get closer to that person or to find out more about them.

People can tell that you are interested in them just by the way you act around them. They may say they don’t notice but they do.

I was kind of calculated and cerebral in the way I approached women. It varied from woman to woman.

Now I’m with my wife for 7 years and despite working around a lot of women, there’s no desire to flirt or talk to another woman in “that way” at work. When you’re happy with someone and how life is going and they’re the one, no one else matters.
 
KrakenIPA

KrakenIPA

Member
I hate to Monday Morning quarterback this situation, but as long as you get the job done, it doesn't matter how sloppy the game was.
 
Kenpachii

Kenpachii

Member
Think about it this way.

What girls hear 24/7 and lose hope:

Hey "input catchy bullshit one liner", compliment her like everybody else on her body, wants to date and get sex out of it. Feels like a cheap hooker, no clue if this guy is serious or i am just his next fling.

Or u want a guy that says.
- I want to have u as my girlfriend, after 2-3 dates and we like eachother
- Sex i will let it up to you, if u want that before marriage that's fine if not that's also fine. We need to start to know eachother anyway
- i want to life together in about a year from now or maybe earlier.
- in 2-3 years i will marry you because i want to be married before kids
- in 4-5 years i want a kid, and probably i want 2 kids straight after eachother.
- I expect u to work 3 days a week, and do the house hold + cooking together, when kids arrive. before that full time working so we can save up for when kids need to come.
- i want to travel a bit together,
- my hobbies are this and that
- blablabla

Girl will be shocked by your honesty, doesn't feel absolutely used as a sex doll or his next fling. Thinks u are serious and think she found the diamond in the pile of trash.

Believe me that shit will fester in her brain like nothing else, and she will start thinking about it every single day.
 
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Aesius

Aesius

Member
Kings Field said:
I’ll say what I said in another thread here, I work in healthcare and have been for the past 18 years. It literally is easy mode. That’s where I met all of my girlfriends and my wife.

Having said that, I have always been a direct type of person. If I was interested in someone, I found out their life by working with them and used that to my advantage to either focus on that aspect to get closer to that person or to find out more about them.

People can tell that you are interested in them just by the way you act around them. They may say they don’t notice but they do.

I was kind of calculated and cerebral in the way I approached women. It varied from woman to woman.

Now I’m with my wife for 7 years and despite working around a lot of women, there’s no desire to flirt or talk to another woman in “that way” at work. When you’re happy with someone and how life is going and they’re the one, no one else matters.
Click to expand...
What do you do in healthcare? You work at a hospital?
 
KrakenIPA

KrakenIPA

Member
Kenpachii said:
- I want to have u as my girlfriend, after 2-3 dates and we like eachother
- Sex i will let it up to you, if u want that before marriage that's fine if not that's also fine. We need to start to know eachother anyway
- i want to life together in about a year from now or maybe earlier.
- in 2-3 years i will marry you because i want to be married before kids
- in 4-5 years i want a kid, and probably i want 2 kids straight after eachother.
- I expect u to work 3 days a week, and do the house hold + cooking together, when kids arrive. before that full time working so we can save up for when kids need to come.
- i want to travel a bit together,
- my hobbies are this and that
Click to expand...
Damn bro can I be ur girlfriend that sounds great!
 
Punished Miku

Punished Miku

Gold Member
Mode One is just going to save you from getting in the friend zone. It will instead either be hook up or nothing.

The true method is Mode Zero. You need to have the correct genes to be good looking and 6ft tall before birth, which is why its called Mode Zero.

If you fail at Mode Zero, and Mode One just leads to no friends and no girlfriend, then you can proceed to A' la Mode. This method is simple to follow as you just eat pie at home by yourself and watch anime.
 
J

jason10mm

Gold Member
Jinzo Prime said:
Really? Has there ever been a study or poll that shows beeing a cocky douchebag works?
Click to expand...
My anecdotal experience says it does, really really well. At least for getting laid, not so much for long term relationship. A LOT of women are vulnerable to that approach, particularly in social situations that are conducive to it (bars, clubs, passing meetings like at a store or gym) versus a slow approach at work or whatever. The ROI for time spent is really good.
 
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