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[Advocatus Diaboli]

Both of those pictures look terrible. At least you're smiling in the first one -- you're not a bad looking guy by any means, but seriously: have someone else take a picture so it's not a zoomed-in shot of your face filled with NES-era motion blur or footage from an undergraduate film project.

 

[ZackieChan]

Seriously. You can do better, dude!

 

[Kurtofan]

Can you guys judge my profile text? It's in French so I'll have to translate it first, can't do it right now but interested in your opinion.

 

[War Peaceman]

Seeing as we are in the pic game, which of these is better? Quote for links

 

[ZackieChan]

Seeing as we are in the pic game, which of these is better? Quote for links

Hmm. They're both a little odd. You are smiling in a weird way in the first one, and you're not in an interesting place in the 2nd. 2nd is also just kind of ugly. Not sure I really like either.

 

[catmincer]

Hmm. They're both a little odd. You are smiling in a weird way in the first one, and you're not in an interesting place in the 2nd. 2nd is also just kind of ugly. Not sure I really like either.

They look totally unnatural to be honest. Like really posed but weirdly.

 

[ZackieChan]

They look totally unnatural to be honest. Like really posed but weirdly.

Yeah, I'm not really able to put into words what I don't like about them.

To the poster - You're a good looking dude - you jest need to smile with teeth and look natural in a setting that doesn't look all beige.

 

[Scotch]

Seeing as we are in the pic game, which of these is better? Quote for links

Both are bad pictures. Did someone else take them or are you posing? Regardless of the answer, it looks like the latter, which is bad. You'd be better off with a simple selfie with a natural smile. And don't do any weird hand gestures.

 

[Kurtofan]

A girl sent me a message to tell me I look like a cool viking ^^

we talked a bit, though she hasn't responded in the last hour lol (she's still online, oh well).

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Can you guys judge my profile text? It's in French so I'll have to translate it first, can't do it right now but interested in your opinion.

You can post it in French and I'll read it. Or translate it for us too.

 

[Kurtofan]

You can post it in French and I'll read it. Or translate it for us too.

Oh, I can translate it (after all I'm a student in translation ^^), but I'll post it for you, I haven't filled in all the questions though...

My self-summaryedit essay
Salut! Je m'appelle FIRST NAME, bien que je sois né et est grandi en région parisienne, j'aime beaucoup la Corse (d'où le pseudo ^^), je m'y rends depuis que je suis tout petit, c'est vraiment un endroit qui me tiens à coeur.
Je suis également bilingue français-anglais, (Hi, fellow English speakers!), tout ce qui touche au monde anglophone me passionne (histoire, littérature, cinéma, divertissements, actu, etc...). Je suis aussi un peu geek sur les bords (ok, pas qu'un peu ) : jeux vidéos, comics, manga, séries télés... J'adore!

What I’m doing with my lifeedit essay
Je suis étudiant à l'COLLEGE en ce moment, en première année de master de traduction anglais-français, option numérique. Je suis ce parcours dans l'espoir de devenir traducteur (localisateur pour utiliser le bon terme) dans le milieux de l'informatique, gérer la traduction de sites webs, de logiciels.
Niveau hobbies, j'aime bien me balader, les activités culturelles de type musées, expos. Je suis des cours de yoga, pour me maintenir en forme, mais aussi pour découvrir. J'ai commencé à suivre des cours d'échecs. Ces cours sont des activités que j'ai entreprise récemment, un peu par hasard, surtout par envie de découvrir de nouvelles choses. Je suis également des cours de théâtre.

I’m really good atedit essay
Je suis très à l'écoute des autres, de ce qu'ils aiment, de leurs soucis. Je suis toujours ouvert à de nouvelles perspectives, toujours près à découvrir de nouvelles choses et curieux de tout.


Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodedit essay
J'aime beaucoup la série du Disque-Monde (Discworld) de Terry Pratchett.
Coté séries télés, j'aime beaucoup de genres différents.
Science-fiction/paranormal, X-Files, Stargate.
Les séries plus récentes que j'adore : The Shield, The Wire (Sur écoute en français), Les Soprano, Breaking Bad, Deadwood.
Comme sitcoms j'aime beaucoup Friends et Scrubs.
Pour ce qui est manga/anime: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, vraiment excellent.
Je vais mentionner le jeu vidéo, je joue sur consoles (3DS, PS4, Wii U) et sur PC j'adore les classiques de Nintendo (les séries Mario, Zelda, Fire Emblem), sinon j'aime beaucoup les rpgs, comme la série Persona, par exemple. Je suis un grand fan de la série Dark Souls.
Récemment un de mes coup de cœur est le jeu Undertale sur PC.


The six things I could never do withoutedit essay
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking aboutedit essay
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I amedit essay
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
You should message me ifedit essay
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Oh, I can translate it (after all I'm a student in translation ^^), but I'll post it for you, I haven't filled in all the questions though...

OK, cool! So, I noticed some possible typos, which should always be fixed, and there were a lot of really interesting hooks. The things I'll comment on, I'll bold below.

My self-summaryedit essay
Salut! Je m'appelle FIRST NAME, bien que je sois né et est grandi en région parisienne, j'aime beaucoup la Corse (d'où le pseudo ^^), je m'y rends depuis que je suis tout petit, c'est vraiment un endroit qui me tiens à coeur.
Je suis également bilingue français-anglais, (Hi, fellow English speakers!), tout ce qui touche au monde anglophone me passionne (histoire, littérature, cinéma, divertissements, actu, etc...). Je suis aussi un peu geek sur les bords (ok, pas qu'un peu ) : jeux vidéos, comics, manga, séries télés... J'adore!

What I’m doing with my lifeedit essay
Je suis étudiant à l'COLLEGE en ce moment, en première année de master de traduction anglais-français, option numérique. Je suis ce parcours dans l'espoir de devenir traducteur (localisateur pour utiliser le bon terme) dans le milieux de l'informatique, gérer la traduction de sites webs, de logiciels.
Niveau hobbies, j'aime bien me balader, les activités culturelles de type musées, expos. Je suis des cours de yoga, pour me maintenir en forme, mais aussi pour découvrir. J'ai commencé à suivre des cours d'échecs. Ces cours sont des activités que j'ai entreprise récemment, un peu par hasard, surtout par envie de découvrir de nouvelles choses. Je suis également des cours de théâtre.

I’m really good atedit essay
Je suis très à l'écoute des autres, de ce qu'ils aiment, de leurs soucis. Je suis toujours ouvert à de nouvelles perspectives, toujours près à découvrir de nouvelles choses et curieux de tout.


Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodedit essay
J'aime beaucoup la série du Disque-Monde (Discworld) de Terry Pratchett.
Coté séries télés, j'aime beaucoup de genres différents.
Science-fiction/paranormal, X-Files, Stargate.
Les séries plus récentes que j'adore : The Shield, The Wire (Sur écoute en français), Les Soprano, Breaking Bad, Deadwood.
Comme sitcoms j'aime beaucoup Friends et Scrubs.
Pour ce qui est manga/anime: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, vraiment excellent.
Je vais mentionner le jeu vidéo, je joue sur consoles (3DS, PS4, Wii U) et sur PC j'adore les classiques de Nintendo (les séries Mario, Zelda, Fire Emblem), sinon j'aime beaucoup les rpgs, comme la série Persona, par exemple. Je suis un grand fan de la série Dark Souls.
Récemment un de mes coup de cœur est le jeu Undertale sur PC.


The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.

On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?

You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.

Okay, just a few comments:

Overall, solid profile.

1. I'm not sure I'd lead with your love of Corsica, but it's certainly unique and interesting: it's a great "hook" for someone to ask you about. You might drop (part) of a interesting story that happened when you were there.
2. You talk a lot about the courses you're taking, and it's awesome that you have hobbies: chess, yoga, theatre. I really liked that aspect, but you can also include what you want to do with the skills you gain. Do you want to act in a play? Do you want to find a partner to practice chess with? A yoga buddy? Don't go overboard with this, but you can flesh this out a little.
3. The "I'm good at" section struck me as slightly weird. It's great that you can listen to other people, but it seemed slightly too deep -- or rather, "not lighthearted" -- for a dating profile. Just an inclination, though.
4. The favorites section was also fine, but I might shorten the video game section. I've found that there's nothing wrong with saying that you enjoy Mario Kart, but it's a little drapeau rouge to list more games than you do books, for instance.
5. The "spend time thinking" section needs reworking: it doesn't actually say anything!
6. I don't know if "Netflix and takeout" equates to "Netflix and chill," but you could be sending the wrong message here.
7. Finally, I don't get the "you should message me if..." section at all. You want people to message you with tips to win them over?

 

[Kurtofan]

no, no those last ones in english are the generic messages by okcupid, because I haven't answered them, they don't appear in my profile, sorry ^^

Thanks for the advice though! I'll take it into consideration when reworking my profile.

 

[Salamando]

Awww, I just had my first view by a gay guy!

My least favorite parts of dating has to be those moments where you know inaction is the right move, but you have to fight hard to not just "send a text" or otherwise try to advance things. (met girl once, she left on vacation for two weeks less than 48 hours later. I know, I shouldn't be invested, and should just wait. Waiting sucks though)

 

[Kurtofan]

On Okcupid, anyone ever had a long distance conversation with someone? this girl from the netherlands started talking to me, I don't want to stop but I don't see much point. I don't want to ghost her though.

 

[Kurtofan]

Another girl liked my profile, I sent a message, but I feel it was a bit lazy... (her profile didn't really inspire me, but she's cute ) I'm musing about sending another message right away as a follow-up, bad idea? should I just wait till she responds to my first message?

 

[Kurtofan]

sorry for the triple post, got some new face pictures (still no body picture -_-)

which is best (if any)

the lighting isn't great; sorry.

 

[AlephAlpha]

With a decent haircut you would have to fight off the swarm of girls coming after you.

 

[GK86]

Get better lighting and a non-potato camera.

 

[ZackieChan]

Wtf is up with the quality of those photos, dude? It's like they were captured from the video in The Ring.

And don't follow up with another message. Just message other girls.

Lastly, you know you can edit your posts, right?

 

[Kurtofan]

It's ok, she answered ^^

yeah my phone's capture device...is low quality to say the least.

 

[Lucian Cat]

sorry for the triple post, got some new face pictures (still no body picture -_-)

which is best (if any)









the lighting isn't great; sorry.

Top or bottom. I like those.

 

[Reave]

sorry for the triple post, got some new face pictures (still no body picture -_-)

which is best (if any)









the lighting isn't great; sorry.

I think the last one is your best bet, but I'd definitely try and get some non-selfie shots of yourself together. If I were you, I'd also try a few different hairstyles.

 

[Lulubop]

I seen you waiting in line for the Sony conference screening at Union Square the other day, Jhoan. You're kinda hard to miss haha. I was en-route to a date, and running late or else I would have said hi.

So long time no post here, but dating has been pretty fantastic. I've meet a lot of new people, and I feel extremely confident going into a date. It seems I'm pretty attractive or something. Out of everyone I've met, there have been a few constants. Last week I met someone, and that spark was there. Easily one of the most amazing dates I've had. I got to see her again on Monday and the chemistry was still there. She's amazing, and I think there's potential. That said, she leaving the city at the end of the month and traveling around the world for a whole year. She's not originally from here, so there's no telling if she'll even come back although she would like to. She tells me to come with her, I'd be down but I don't have the resources for something like that. I'm just going to enjoy her company until she's gone.

Other dating stuff. Yesterday I had two dates and they both went really well. First girl asked me for drinks as soon as we matched on Tinder. I was down, and we hit up a dive close to me. Had no idea of anything about her, so I was pleasantly surprised when she turned out to be a very attractive nerdy kinda girl with similar interest. We hit it off and she actually went in for the kiss. Walked her to the trains as my second date was getting out of work. The timing was pretty perfect. We met at a bar she had mentioned when we first started chatting on Tinder. Gorgeous Irish girl, who had only been in the city for a few months. Apparently I was her first Tinder date. We hit it off, went back to my house. I'd be down to see her again, but it felt like a 1 time thing for her. I already have plans to see the first girl again. I think I need to chill out a bit though.

 

[Kurtofan]

What is Quickmatch on okcupid?

 

[ZackieChan]

What is Quickmatch on okcupid?

LMGTFY: https://okcupid.desk.com/customer/en/portal/articles/2161204-how-quickmatch-works

Menu item on app/website:

It's a bit like Tinder, but inside OKCupid.

 

[Kurtofan]

So that's how I got likes without seeing visitors uh?

 

[Ambitious]

So that's how I got likes without seeing visitors uh?

That, or by people who turned off visitors.

 

[User 479360]

So, I guess I have a date on Tuesday, with the girl who I went on one with close to a month ago. She's the one whose place I went back to, and who kissed me several times, then rescheduled or cancelled dates because of a forgotten engagement and being sick.

She apologized for being like that, and said she's been worried about losing her job and trying to deal with that.

Her birthday was this weekend, so I sent her a message on social media. She also texted me out of the blue, saying that it will have to be Tuesday "if that's alright" for the date, which I said is fine. We had had it tentatively scheduled for Monday, but she said that, because of birthday things, she may have to meet up the next day.

Hopefully things will go well.

 

[ZackieChan]

Good luck. You still messaging other girls?

 

[User 479360]

Good luck. You still messaging other girls?

Yeah, but with next to no luck. It sucks.

Thank you.

 

[Kurtofan]

Someone told me they like talking to me on okcupid

shame she lives quite far away, but it's a nice thing to be told ^^

 

[HundredEyeMonk]

So, I guess I have a date on Tuesday, with the girl who I went on one with close to a month ago. She's the one whose place I went back to, and who kissed me several times, then rescheduled or cancelled dates because of a forgotten engagement and being sick.

She apologized for being like that, and said she's been worried about losing her job and trying to deal with that.

I mean.. pretty good chance you were the backup option and the guy she was seeing didn't work out.

 

[User 479360]

I mean.. pretty good chance you were the backup option and the guy she was seeing didn't work out.

Thanks for the morale boost.

 

[ZackieChan]

Thanks for the morale boost.

It's the unfortunate reality of dating. They are all dating multiple people (or at least you should assume they are). That's why you should be, too.

 

[Two Words]

Well, after a few months of attempting online dating, I quit. This shit sucks. Between being black and male, I feel like i'm just getting either instantly ignored or drowned out by all of the men that hit up every single girl they see online. This shit just seems like it can be soul-crushingly depressing if you're really invested in trying to find a relationship with somebody. At least when I talk to people in person, I can at least make friends. I can barely even get a response. And every response has either been bots or people that disappear almost immediately.

 

[ZackieChan]

Well, after a few months of attempting online dating, I quit. This shit sucks. Between being black and male, I feel like i'm just getting either instantly ignored or drowned out by all of the men that hit up every single girl they see online. This shit just seems like it can be soul-crushingly depressing if you're really invested in trying to find a relationship with somebody. At least when I talk to people in person, I can at least make friends. I can barely even get a response. And every response has either been bots or people that disappear almost immediately.

I'm sorry to hear that. As a white male, I realize that I've got it about as good as it can get. Sucks to hear that things are so awful from your perspective. I'm pretty open about dating anyone, race or religion doesn't really matter. Most people are not so liberal. I've seen some profiles that basically exclude anyone but white males, which is really weird to me.

I'd stick to what works, and not subject yourself to shit like this. If meeting people IRL is working for you, go with that and strengthen your skill there

Spoiler

and at doing squats

 

[User 479360]

It's the unfortunate reality of dating. They are all dating multiple people (or at least you should assume they are). That's why you should be, too.

I'm trying to, but it doesn't really work out that way.

I don't think she's been seeing anyone else. She deleted her profile pretty quickly, and said she hadn't been dating anyone at all for quite some time.

 

[ZackieChan]

I'm trying to, but it doesn't really work out that way.

I don't think she's been seeing anyone else. She deleted her profile pretty quickly, and said she hadn't been dating anyone at all for quite some time.

Is this the one who threatened to commit suicide? Maybe I'm confusing them.

 

[User 479360]

Is this the one who threatened to commit suicide? Maybe I'm confusing them.

No, but I'm hoping to become FWB with her if things don't work out.

The girl I mentioned in the other post was the one who kissed me when we went back to her place and watched Deadpool on date 1 and almost fell asleep in my arms. We had something scheduled for 2-3 weeks ago (the following Sunday), but she remembered she had plans (she had told me she played D&D with friends on Sundays when we had first talked, because she was on her way home when I messaged her, so I believed it). Then she cancelled the next one because she was sick.

I spoke to her about it a bit, and she apologized for being distant, saying she didn't mean to be and that she had a good time with me. She was in the process of losing her job, scared about it and I guess trying to figure things out.

We maybe could've done something last week, but I was away.

 

[Assanova]

Well, after a few months of attempting online dating, I quit. This shit sucks. Between being black and male, I feel like i'm just getting either instantly ignored or drowned out by all of the men that hit up every single girl they see online. This shit just seems like it can be soul-crushingly depressing if you're really invested in trying to find a relationship with somebody. At least when I talk to people in person, I can at least make friends. I can barely even get a response. And every response has either been bots or people that disappear almost immediately.

As a minority, I can tell you that you are sucking because you have not shown enough value to girls. I absolutely kill it in online dating. Even if being a minority is a ding against you, you can change the perception of a lot of women by simply displaying more value to them. If you understand the psychology behind it, you can absolutely get a ton of dates.

Edit: Also, online dating is better than real life, because at least with online dating, you can demonstrate a lot of value in your profile if the girl bothers to read it and look at your pictures. In real life, you are often dismissed before you can demonstrate anything if the girl isn't immediately into you at all.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

It works, even for minorities.

(He's not really wrong, though.)

 

[User 479360]

I haven't heard from her, and she didn't reply to my text the other night when I asked how her birthday was, so maybe we don't have a date tonight.

I hate all the uncertainty, but will likely just wait for her to text me.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I'm also a minority male, and it took years of online dating and a lot of personal growth before I started having success.

I think there's truth to "showing value" in your write-up and messages, because my pictures were dated and hardly a selling point. If you're a good person, it'll show.

 

[User 479360]

Just got a text from her not long ago . We're on for tonight. Just trying to figure out what to do.

 

[Salamando]

I just love online dating sometimes. Start texting this girl and asked her out for coffee. Find out she lives 45 min away, doesn't drive, lives with her parents, and she goes to school out there. So it'd be on me to get to/from all dates and we'd never be able to go "back to her place".

Even when texting, it's just blah. I've had to drive every conversation.

 

[User 479360]

I need to stop getting excited about potential dates, and perhaps distance myself from online dating. It just ends in depression.

I was supposed to have a date tonight. SUPPOSED to. What went wrong? I'm not sure.

She texted me this afternoon, and apologized for not messaging me back the other night, saying things had been a blur because of her birthday. We talked for a bit, and then I asked if we were still on for tonight. "Yes, but I'm broke" she said. I told her I didn't mind paying, and that that wasn't a problem. She said she minded, but I said she could perhaps pay for a date down the line if she wanted to.

I know she's kind of between jobs.

I asked her if there were any movies she wanted to go see, and she mentioned a couple. I said I was fine with them, but did ask if she was into horror because I've heard that the Conjuring 2 is quite good. Not really, apparently.

I gamed for a bit, then came upstairs and laid down/watched TV while I waited to hear from her. I was tired, after limited sleep, but planned to go out even though my body wanted me to pass out. I eventually texted her after falling asleep for an hour or so, and asked her if she wanted to go to the late show.

"Sorry, I kind of fell asleep there until just now."

"I'm not really feeling up to going to the movies."

I said Ok, then that was it.

 

[Salamando]

^^^
Chewie, you continue to rely on movie dates way too much. Can't say it enough - movie dates only work if you're sitting on someone's couch or bed. That's it! Can't talk in a theatre, can't snog easily either. I feel like I'm wasting my breath here, but you're truly doing yourself a disservice by sticking to movies.

Once she mentions being broke and unwilling to be carried, the movie date should've been doubly thrown out.

In your situation, I would've suggested something simple and cheap - coffee and a walk through a park.

 

[User 479360]

^^^
Chewie, you continue to rely on movie dates way too much. Can't say it enough - movie dates only work if you're sitting on someone's couch or bed. That's it! Can't talk in a theatre, can't snog easily either. I feel like I'm wasting my breath here, but you're truly doing yourself a disservice by sticking to movies.

Once she mentions being broke and unwilling to be carried, the movie date should've been doubly thrown out.

In your situation, I would've suggested something simple and cheap - coffee and a walk through a park.

I do, yeah

To preface this, though: We had watched a movie at her place before, and talked about maybe going to see a movie in theatres since she hadn't been in a while. She wanted to go, and that was kind of suggested by her when we were originally going to go out again before she got sick.

I just figured that's what she'd want to do, and brought it up. She seemed interested. I don't know what happened.

I don't get her. After all, she seemed to have a good time on our first date and was the one who initiated contact, kissing me multiple times.

 

[ZackieChan]

She's not as attached to you as you are to her. You need to change your attitude a bit.

Also, when the money thing comes up, suggest to do something free instead. Don't push the movie just because she mentioned it before. Be like water, man.