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(Satire) Anti-Vax Gamer Receives Exclusive Early Access to Measles

CyberPanda

CyberPanda

Banned
measles.jpg


WINTER PARK, Fla. — Dylan Kirkpatrick, an avid gamer and anti-vaxxer, was thrilled to discover this week that he had been granted early access to one of the year’s most exclusive diseases: measles.

“Once I realized that what I had contracted wasn’t any ordinary rash, but actually turned out to be the measles beta, I was really pumped,” said Kirkpatrick, coughing. “I love a good challenge, as long as it’s not too intense, like Dark Souls or autism, which is absolutely caused by vaccines.”

Although he had only been exhibiting symptoms for a few days, Kirkpatrick was already impressed by measles’s core mechanics.

“This cough is the driest cough I’ve ever had, and something you wouldn’t expect with a skin disease. The runny nose is runny, but doesn’t draw attention from the rest of the symptoms. The sore throat explores soreness in a way I’d never felt before,” rasped Kirkpatrick. “I’m almost speechless.”

Kirkpatrick also praised the infectious disease’s unique progression options.

“People infected with ‘vanilla’ measles often pick up other diseases in the same session — which can all stack together for a multiplier effect — depending on their immune-style,” Kirkpatrick explained. “I went with the bacterial ear infection path, but I hear the pneumonia and bronchitis trees are pretty intense.”

“Some people even go with encephalitis, which I hear has some really punishing DPS.”

Kirkpatrick said that measles had the potential to be the next big gaming craze.

“My top fever was 102°F, but you just know once more kids get into measles, they’ll be posting up numbers like 104°F, 105°F,” Kirkpatrick laughed. “Every kid in school will have to get it. I’m sure you’ll see a mechanic like this in Fortnite before long as they try to keep up.”

Before collapsing from pain, Kirkpatrick said he couldn’t wait to share measles with all of his anti-vaxxer friends, since he has an unlimited number of invites to sign others up for the beta.
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thehardtimes.net

Anti-Vax Gamer Receives Exclusive Early Access to Measles

WINTER PARK, Fla. — Dylan Kirkpatrick, an avid gamer and anti-vaxxer, was thrilled to discover this week that he had been granted early access to…
thehardtimes.net thehardtimes.net
 
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njean777

njean777

Member
Pneumonia isn't a joke, got it about 2 months ago out of nowhere. I thought it was just like an extreme cold or flu, but nobody ever has told me how much pain it can cause when you breathe. Felt like a knife stabbing me in the lung for three days.
 
JSoup

JSoup

Banned
njean777 said:
Pneumonia isn't a joke, got it about 2 months ago out of nowhere. I thought it was just like an extreme cold or flu, but nobody ever has told me how much pain it can cause when you breathe. Felt like a knife stabbing me in the lung for three days.
Click to expand...

There's a reason why a large percentage of people die from pneumonia every year. :/
If you haven't gotten one yet, a pneumonia shot is a good idea.
 
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Ivellios

Ivellios

Member
Not a funny nor interesting article at all, its cringey as hell

njean777 said:
Pneumonia isn't a joke, got it about 2 months ago out of nowhere. I thought it was just like an extreme cold or flu, but nobody ever has told me how much pain it can cause when you breathe. Felt like a knife stabbing me in the lung for three days.
Click to expand...

I know the feeling, it is indeed really painful.
 
somerset

somerset

Member
A serious answer...

The widest (and biggest money making) 'vaccine' is that for flu. Across the planet the drug industrial complex makes billions yearly from this 'vaccine' alone, and a vast amount of this profit goes into the pockets of various politicians.

But here's the thing. The flu vaccine is a crap shoot. The science of the flu virus is entirely down to Human systems of farming in the East. The virus mutates in farm animals in Asis, and scientists have to make their best guess as to which virus is going to spread around the planet that year, and prepare an 'anti-virus' from that choice of virus.

By the time the massive stocks of flu 'vaccine' have been prepared, the scientists discover whether their guess is correct or not. Frequently, it is *wrong*. Read that again- the vaccine is scientifically *useless*, and everyone agrees on this.

So what happens when the flu vaccine is useless, and cannot possibly fight that year's major flu strain? And *no*, there is not time to try again.

The answer is horrifying. The drug industrial complex has its tame politicians tell the people to take the *useless* vaccine anyway, and the pro-drug-lobby screams at anyone who points out that *all* vaccines have a percentage of harm in those that take them, and therefore taking a known *useless* vaccine is actually wholly a harmful process, that said voices are anti-vaxxer 'nutcases'.

The 'vaccine' market is 99% for profit. Science plays a *tiny* part, which is a shame for vaccines, under ruthlessly controlled circumstances, can be useful, but they are far from the panacea ordinary people are told to think they are.

It gets worse. Until relatively recently, vaccines were responsible for explosions of certain types of cancer. Vaccines into the 60s lacked the scientific engineering to filter out viral contamination, which was known by scientists for decades earlier but hidden from the public. These vaccines were almost always significantly infested with said viruses, and it has only been quite recently that the tech of molecular filters allowed vaccines to be virus free.

Fun Fact- the government sponsored anti-smoking movement of the late 50s onward was connected to the explosion of lung cancer cases around the world. But lung cancer spiked upward to an horrific degree *not* because of smoking, but because of *atmospheric nuclear tests*- the greatest and most dangerous act of polution in Human History. Every nuclear nation was terrified (at the time) that their population would turn anti-nuke if they learned of this fact, and would prevent further nuclear weapon research. So, as always they turned to *distraction* propaganda, and blamed the great unwashed themselves for smoking. The guilt mechanism again.

It is telling that even so, just about the only major treaty of the 60s between the great powers was to ban atmospheric tests. Israel has broken this ban many times over the last few decades.

The anti-smoking lobby, once a simple part of the nuclear industrial complex, grew to be a *very* useful part of big govs mechanism of social control, and all weaponised-SJW movements today, including *blind unthinking* 'vaccination', originate from it.

The potential for vaccines to do unthinkable harm has a direct and indirect example from recent times.

1) Thatcher's breaking of thousands of years of farming protocol in the UK led to the 'mad cow' crisis- where Thatcher moved a once harmless prion found in sheep into the Human population via cattle. You *never* feed farming animals to herbivore farming animals- but Thatcher did. Today in every nation that had their herds of cattle infected, there is an explosion in dementia illnesses in the elderly population, as the long tail of CJD takes its toll. Now that wasn't strictly a 'vaccination' issue, but the contamination principle is the same.

2) AIDS- most thinking people with a science background know this was an 'accident' when an OPV (oral polio vaccine) was developed for use in Africa from monkeys - monkeys that had carried the AIDS virus forever. Vaccine protocols say you *never* prepare vaccines from animals with a close genetic makeup to Humans (pigs, apes, monkeys).

The drug industrial complex has literally spent hundreds of millions of dollars in propganda programs to deny the OPV origin of AIDS, and every outlet they can buy (which as the fake news of WMD in Iraq proved, is every mainstream outlet) today states the OPV theory has been 'disproven'. Here's the thing. All the initial hotspots of AIDS in Africa corresponded to all the areas the 'experimental' OPV was deployed.

Two 'mistakes' that have killed *tens of millions* and ruined the lives of hundreds of millions, cos when you are able to 'inject' (via food or vaccine) something directly into the blood stream of billions of Humans, the ability to contaminate the species is *perfect*.
 
G

Gahadmor12

Neo Member
somerset said:
....
The potential for vaccines to do unthinkable harm has a direct and indirect example from recent times.
....
Click to expand...
That's a lot to go through but you are sadly part of what is wrong in this world, why I will have to keep my baby girl inside the house until she's old enough to get vaccinated, because people would rather believe in wild worldwide conspiracies rather than science and risk everybody else's safety and health in the meantime.
 
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