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Dear Penthouse..(Dubious stories of lust and adventure)

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Solo

Member
Yeah, if she told you she was on her period would you still have sex with her lol

At that time........yes, probably haha

But now, having gone through it? Nope. I'd be quite content to roll over and go to sleep and tell her I'll make it up to her in a few days. Waking up to blood caked all over your body is not an experience I'm looking to duplicate.
 

Sai-kun

Banned
I probably can cover her perversions with my own if we are that similar? The only threesomes I've had are from that FFF love triangle.

Period blood tastes like iron or pretty close to it.

I've taken in part in MMM(M..) stuff, and had one MMF threesome, and I think there's more fun to be had in those than in an MFF threesome. Maybe that's just me though. Certainly wouldn't turn it down if the opportunity arose!

Anyone have experience with both? :p
 
My ex-gf gave me a bj on a theatre, it was the first iron man movie and I'm pretty sure there was a family with little kids right next to us. They didn't tell us anything during th movie but they father had some bad words for us when we got out.

Iron man is such a good movie.
 

DrkSage

Member
I don't have amazing stories because I'm still a virgin, buuuut I have 2 stories on how I almost (almost is the thing the pisses me off) lost my virginity.

1) I was in highschool on my last semester, since prom was close my school decided to throw a party to get more funds for it. So it was Friday night I just got to the school, everyone was at the court sitting around, dancing and this one girl who I was hitting on when I was on 10th grade came up to me and we started talking. We danced a little and then she told me if I wanted to go to the back of the school cause she wanted to have a little fun, so we go to the back of the school and while I was gropping her ass and tits and making out she bit my neck and started to go down on me slowly. I was already hard cause I knew what was gonna happen, we were going to have sex. Then the unnexpected happens... She pulls down my zipper, whips it out and god damn it... She just blows a little wind on my shaft, shoves it back on my pants and leaves! Why she did that I don't know but god I was in a state of shock.

2) around September last year this girl invited me to hang out, asked me if I could go pick her up, so there i was waiting for her in front of her house, picked her up, she said she wanted to go to the movies and eat somewhere, so I took her to the movies first so when we went to eat we could have something to talk about. Thing is I don't remember shit about the movie since we were basically spending more time making out and touching than we were watching the movie. Movie ends we go to eat at Denny's that's right next to the movies, we finished eating and she says "I kinda want some desert now" I told her that's ok and ask her what does she want and she smiles and grabs between my legs. I knew what she wanted so I take her back to her house, we get in her room, we start to make out, she takes off my clothes and I start to take off hers. As I'm about to remove her panties she stops me and says that she can't do it. She left me pantied, it felt like throwing from the line of 3 and missing the shot.
 

supergiz

Member
I used to date a Filipina who would whisper in my ear how in the Philippines people would just go at it like wild monkeys. Then she would tell me about her fantasies doing it with her dad on a rainy day. I'm not going to lie, it was hot as hell. Too bad this girl ended up being a little too wacko for me.
 

Arkos

Nose how to spell and rede to
I don't have amazing stories because I'm still a virgin, buuuut I have 2 stories on how I almost (almost is the thing the pisses me off) lost my virginity.

1) I was in highschool on my last semester, since prom was close my school decided to throw a party to get more funds for it. So it was Friday night I just got to the school, everyone was at the court sitting around, dancing and this one girl who I was hitting on when I was on 10th grade came up to me and we started talking. We danced a little and then she told me if I wanted to go to the back of the school cause she wanted to have a little fun, so we go to the back of the school and while I was gropping her ass and tits and making out she bit my neck and started to go down on me slowly. I was already hard cause I knew what was gonna happen, we were going to have sex. Then the unnexpected happens... She pulls down my zipper, whips it out and god damn it... She just blows a little wind on my shaft, shoves it back on my pants and leaves! Why she did that I don't know but god I was in a state of shock.

WHAT?!?!
terranceandphillipslappingbrookeshields.gif

2) around September last year this girl invited me to hang out, asked me if I could go pick her up, so there i was waiting for her in front of her house, picked her up, she said she wanted to go to the movies and eat somewhere, so I took her to the movies first so when we went to eat we could have something to talk about. Thing is I don't remember shit about the movie since we were basically spending more time making out and touching than we were watching the movie. Movie ends we go to eat at Denny's that's right next to the movies, we finished eating and she says "I kinda want some desert now" I told her that's ok and ask her what does she want and she smiles and grabs between my legs. I knew what she wanted so I take her back to her house, we get in her room, we start to make out, she takes off my clothes and I start to take off hers. As I'm about to remove her panties she stops me and says that she can't do it. She left me pantied, it felt like throwing from the line of 3 and missing the shot.

This is either bullshit or you have some horrible luck my friend
 

DrkSage

Member
WHAT?!?!
terranceandphillipslappingbrookeshields.gif



This is either bullshit or you have some horrible luck my friend

I swear on my blue balls its true, she said she didn't want to do it cause we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. She wanted to try but said that wasn't like her.
 
I don't have amazing stories because I'm still a virgin, buuuut I have 2 stories on how I almost (almost is the thing the pisses me off) lost my virginity.

1) I was in highschool on my last semester, since prom was close my school decided to throw a party to get more funds for it. So it was Friday night I just got to the school, everyone was at the court sitting around, dancing and this one girl who I was hitting on when I was on 10th grade came up to me and we started talking. We danced a little and then she told me if I wanted to go to the back of the school cause she wanted to have a little fun, so we go to the back of the school and while I was gropping her ass and tits and making out she bit my neck and started to go down on me slowly. I was already hard cause I knew what was gonna happen, we were going to have sex. Then the unnexpected happens... She pulls down my zipper, whips it out and god damn it... She just blows a little wind on my shaft, shoves it back on my pants and leaves! Why she did that I don't know but god I was in a state of shock.

this honestly has me stumped.
 
Nailing my ex g/f's best friend (who wears a hijab)

This was after I was dumped by my gf at the time. I was feeling pretty shitty and her friend was there for me after. She was pretty nice and quite attractive, but I was down in the dumps to think about it at the time. Oddly enough, she actually flew out from New York to hang out with me for the day but she had missed her flight cause we were having a good time hanging out (she had come out in the morning and was gonna fly back the same day). I let her sleep on my bed. I was awakened by heavy breathing and lil moans. I asked if she was ok but she said she was and sounded nervous. lol. I eventually got it outta her that she needs to masturbate every night in order to fall asleep. I offered my assistance and she liked it. Eventually that turned into an hour fuck session. And I yanked on her hijab while I was behind her. Was so fun.

"Lets go to school and fuck there"

Probably one of the most random things I was told. I was dating an older asian woman and she was, outta no where, feeling frisky. Earlier that day, she even dropped her pants and had her butt on my crotch in the middle of a beach.
We went to the campus we attended and found an empty class room. This was on a saturday evening so there was hardly any classes even going on. She just sat on a desk and lifted her skirt with nothing under it.

First time

Back in high school, I was dating this indian girl who was my secret admirer (she had actually left me cute notes in my locker lol). Eventually, we began dating.
One day, she wanted to know if I was home alone and how long. She said when she buzzes my bell, to not open the door until she knocks. I didn't think much of it except thinking "odd..". So she came while i was cleaning around. I opened the door after she knocked and she was in a sexy lingerie and she jumped me.

Pakistani fun

Although we didn't have vaginal sex, we did do all the things around it. I was dating a girl who basically had a crush on me for a year but she was so hesitant on going out cause it was forbidden (Im a hispanic catholic and she's muslim).
I was basically her first bf, kiss and things beyond that. Eventually one day our make out session at my place became so hot we started to feel up on each other and undress ourselves. Because she wore oversized clothing, i didn't know what to expect, however, when she was undressed, i couldn't believe her figure was a 10/10, a first for me. I respected she didn't wanna have penetrative sex so we settled on just oral sex instead and i believe that was just as great as the others described above.

You are a stud muffin?
 

Krakn3Dfx

Member
When I managed a Little Caesars Pizza years ago, I gave a job to the daughter of the older woman I was dating at the time. She was an awful employee and if it was anyone else I would have fired her within a week but because it was my girlfriend's daughter I was more lenient than I should have been.

I would give her a ride home at night and usually spend the night with her mom as well. One night when we were closing up for the night she started flirting and one thing led to another and she ended up giving me head in my car in the back lot after we made out for a bit. I felt pretty shitty about the situation immediately afterwards, but we kept it to ourselves and I took her home and spent the night with her mom anyway.

Well, the same thing happened two nights later, and we ended up having sex on my desk at the back of the store that night and every night we closed together for almost 5 months before she got another job at a clothes store in the mall with a friend of hers. After that I rarely saw her anymore and we never messed around again. I was with her mom for another 2 years before I moved out of state for a job.
 

supergiz

Member
When I managed a Little Caesars Pizza years ago, I gave a job to the daughter of the older woman I was dating at the time. She was an awful employee and if it was anyone else I would have fired her within a week but because it was my girlfriend's daughter I was more lenient than I should have been.

I would give her a ride home at night and usually spend the night with her mom as well. One night when we were closing up for the night she started flirting and one thing led to another and she ended up giving me head in my car in the back lot after we made out for a bit. I felt pretty shitty about the situation immediately afterwards, but we kept it to ourselves and I took her home and spent the night with her mom anyway.

Well, the same thing happened two nights later, and we ended up having sex on my desk at the back of the store that night and every night we closed together for almost 5 months before she got another job at a clothes store in the mall with a friend of hers. After that I rarely saw her anymore and we never messed around again. I was with her mom for another 2 years before I moved out of state for a job.

Hot
 
My wife and I have a good female friend who is pretty cute. We used to have get togethers every weekend with her and after having a lot of drinks, our friend said the one thing she always wanted to do was have a threesome. I brought up the idea to my wife who was my gf at the time and she wanted nothing to do with it. It took a long time of convincing but I warmed her up to the idea and she actually agreed to do it with me and her friend and was actually excited about it. She had 2 conditions though. One, that there wouldn't be any kissing and two, if we ever met a guy friend who wanted to do a threesome we would do one with him as well. I agreed and on New Years Eve a few years back we had eventually went through with it. It was absolutely amazing and have done it a couple times since.
 

ATF487

Member
I don't have anything really interesting to say, but my first time was pretty terrible. I had no idea what was going on. The angles didn't make sense to me really

Last weekend though I went back up to school to see some friends that are getting married, and ran into the girl I did it with for the first time. She was really into me for some reason; we were making out and probably would have fucked if we could have gotten away with it. I was more excited about the fact that she'd sell me her mexican strat for cheap though

also after that girl left I tried to fuck this other girl when everyone else went to bed, but she saw me with the first one and wouldn't let me. She did let me make out with her and I got to play with her tits for awhile so it wasn't all bad
 

casmith07

Member
When I managed a Little Caesars Pizza years ago, I gave a job to the daughter of the older woman I was dating at the time. She was an awful employee and if it was anyone else I would have fired her within a week but because it was my girlfriend's daughter I was more lenient than I should have been.

I would give her a ride home at night and usually spend the night with her mom as well. One night when we were closing up for the night she started flirting and one thing led to another and she ended up giving me head in my car in the back lot after we made out for a bit. I felt pretty shitty about the situation immediately afterwards, but we kept it to ourselves and I took her home and spent the night with her mom anyway.

Well, the same thing happened two nights later, and we ended up having sex on my desk at the back of the store that night and every night we closed together for almost 5 months before she got another job at a clothes store in the mall with a friend of hers. After that I rarely saw her anymore and we never messed around again. I was with her mom for another 2 years before I moved out of state for a job.

Officially hard.
 
When I managed a Little Caesars Pizza years ago, I gave a job to the daughter of the older woman I was dating at the time. She was an awful employee and if it was anyone else I would have fired her within a week but because it was my girlfriend's daughter I was more lenient than I should have been.

I would give her a ride home at night and usually spend the night with her mom as well. One night when we were closing up for the night she started flirting and one thing led to another and she ended up giving me head in my car in the back lot after we made out for a bit. I felt pretty shitty about the situation immediately afterwards, but we kept it to ourselves and I took her home and spent the night with her mom anyway.

Well, the same thing happened two nights later, and we ended up having sex on my desk at the back of the store that night and every night we closed together for almost 5 months before she got another job at a clothes store in the mall with a friend of hers. After that I rarely saw her anymore and we never messed around again. I was with her mom for another 2 years before I moved out of state for a job.

Pizza pizza.
 

hwalker84

Member
Bitch peed in my bed!!!
Have a friend who I have history with. We both liked each other at different points during high school. If I called today and said leave your fiancée she'd pack up and leave (I feel kinda bad for dude). We have love for each other but I'm not leaving my situation ever. Anyway. Years ago we had sex a few times. One time after a heavy night of drinking she came back to my place. We had sexy and went to sleep. She started making some noises which woke me up. I start feeling the bed under me get wet which rips me out of my sleep pissed. I pick her up and put her on my couch. I'm removing everything and washing everything. I hear the same weird noise coming from her. She's pissing on my couch now. WTF!!! I've never been so drunk that I've passed myself.
 

Mistel

Banned
Bitch peed in my bed!!!
Have a friend who I have history with. We both liked each other at different points during high school. If I called today and said leave your fiancée she'd pack up and leave (I feel kinda bad for dude). We have love for each other but I'm not leaving my situation ever. Anyway. Years ago we had sex a few times. One time after a heavy night of drinking she came back to my place. We had sexy and went to sleep. She started making some noises which woke me up. I start feeling the bed under me get wet which rips me out of my sleep pissed. I pick her up and put her on my couch. I'm removing everything and washing everything. I hear the same weird noise coming from her. She's pissing on my couch now. WTF!!! I've never been so drunk that I've passed myself.
Not once but twice? That's not exactly something I ever heard of...
 

Vespene

Member
I fucked my sister's best friend, and she walked in on us. Neither of us noticed it but I found out years later that she did see us.
 
I feel so vanilla after reading some of these stories. There's so much shit that I do want to try but too scared to initiate/not confident enough to find somebody or try.
 

Ingrate

Banned
I'm glad I returned to this thread, I checked out after reading some.. bad experiences on the first page.

Well my old girlfriend wanted to try some bondage with a rope, me tying her up, her tying me up, you know just the soft stuff. So anyways I find it really hard to do anything with my hands tied behind my back, but i'm lying right on top of her, fucking away and i'm having trouble staying inside her, she keeps sliding further up the bed and I can't position myself right. So I roll over on my side and manage to get up on my knees and scoot myself up the bed, suddenly she grabs me to pull me down on top of her.. my hands are tied behind my back of course, so I am unable to stop myself from falling as I smash face-first into the headboard so hard my nose won't stop bleeding for a half-hour.
 
I have a few stories I really wanted to share, but I know a few people on this board in real life... and sadly, this shit just can't get out.

Great thread though!
 
I don't really have any particularly amusing stories worth sharing other than the occasional "person walks in" ones. I could share the most recent one I suppose.

I went through a rather unstable period a few years ago during the twilight of a relationship. One thing led to another and I ended up in a short term rehab facility. There were several other patients around my age, and a few were going through their own "post relationship" motions. I think it's clear where this is going.

Being away from society in such an environment for several weeks with a fair share of decent girls looking to bone the least insane guy admitted was a convenient (and rather shameless) place to rebound. Everyone gets to know one another after a few days of "group", and then they go nuts when the staff isn't looking (moreso the adults than the teenagers). The furthest I went there myself was 3rd base (thanks to blindspots in the surveillance), and some of the older guys would try to goad us into going all the way. When you sink low enough to end up there, anything goes, but I wasn't interested in extending my stay. Mind you, these were mostly normal chicks with bipolar and stuff, not the ones in padded rooms on TV (although I remember one trying to hang herself with a rope she threaded from the bedsheets...). It honestly felt like (again, shameless) boarding school at times, and I heard some of the places downtown where even worse in that regard.

Of course, there was nothing to stop us when we got out, but those weren't anything post-worthy (except for the one-nighter with one of them who I could have sworn was a vampire. biting and digging nails into each other isn't exactly my fetish).

There's also that one time at Disney World...
 

Jedeye Sniv

Banned
I really don't have any unpleasant sex stories. I only have tons of awesome ones. Besides a fuck-buddy being loud as fuck seriously just couldn't keep it down when her mother had a visitor that was sleeping on the other side of a thin wall. I left before the morning.

I guess the silliest one I have was when me and my at-the-time girlfriend were in NYC. We woke up one morning and started fooling around. She got her amazing naked ass out of bed to put the "do not disturb sign" out. She opened the door just enough to put the tab on the doorknob. We get back into it and are having tons of fun, when suddenly someone's opening the door. We quickly scramble, and the cleaning lady probably understands that she shouldn't be coming in, says "sorry" humbly, and closes the door. We were stumped, but I think we got back into it not after long. That's the day that girl learnt that one side of the tab says "do not disturb" and the other one says "please clean the room".

I was trying to think of something that would go in this thread and this one reminded me of a good one.

So I'm on my honeymoon in a hotel in Kenya. It was one of those holidays where you're constantly on the move and doing stuff every day so we didn't really get chance to bang that much (were together 11 years by this point so not really a traditional honeymoon). We finally get a free afternoon a few days into the trip and are gagging for it, so we bust out all the toys ready to go to town - and I made sure to put the Do Not Disturb sign up.

So fast forward half an hour and I have my new wife tied quite comprehensively to a chair and am happily violating her with whatever was in our bag of tricks. Then suddenly I hear the door go behind me. With frankly astounding catlike reflexes I jump up and sprint over to the door, slamming it shut on the cleaning lady who's managed to jam her foot in the door. We tussle - me naked and tumescent, my wife tied to a chair legs akimbo filled with plastic and the cleaning lady desperately trying to squeeze into the door. Eventually she wedges the door open enough to see into the room, at which point her eyes bug out and with a very curt SORRY closes the door shut and scampers off down the corridor.

What always makes me think about this is what why, when she encounters resistance does she STILL persist in getting into the room?? Also, African hotel maids, surprisingly strong.
 

Mistel

Banned
Of course, there was nothing to stop us when we got out, but those weren't anything post-worthy (except for the one-nighter with one of them who I could have sworn was a vampire. biting and digging nails into each other isn't exactly my fetish).

There's also that one time at Disney World...
What happened at Disney world? Biting really depends on if it bruises or not and like scratches painful but worth it to me...
 

Lucian Cat

Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
What happened at Disney world? Biting really depends on if it bruises or not and like scratches painful but worth it to me...
Gentle nibbling and scratching is pretty fun. And being choked. Not to the point of passing out mind you. But a forearm to the throat is a wonderful thing
 
What happened at Disney world? Biting really depends on if it bruises or not and like scratches painful but worth it to me...

On second thought, that particular story might be too indecent for GAF

Gentle nibbling and scratching is pretty fun. And being choked. Not to the point of passing out mind you. But a forearm to the throat is a wonderful thing

I don't mind a bit of "rough play", but that particular woman must have thought I was a scratching post.
 

Mistel

Banned
Gentle nibbling and scratching is pretty fun. And being choked. Not to the point of passing out mind you. But a forearm to the throat is a wonderful thing
Gentle is a bit bland for me, I'm really no good at the whole oxygen starvation thing.

On second thought, that particular story might be too indecent for GAF

I don't mind a bit of "rough play", but this particular woman must have thought I was a scratching post.
I missed the dirty story :(, those who treat you like a scratching post are the best to me...
 

Denzar

Member
Black girl with tig oh bitties gave me a beej while I watched Amadeus. Was good at it too.

Rock me, Amadeus!

Have a couple, but there is this one and some stairs. My ex used to live in an old mansion with 3 friends of hers. The hall and stairs in this mansion were covered in velvet. Sweet soft velvet. We came home totally pissed drunk one night, and while entering and going up the stairs we start fondeling. Before we were even halfway upstairs I pushed her down (gently) on the stairs. She took of her bra and panties while I was stuggling with my pants (damn you, skiennies!). We were both buck naked, and pounding away. Sounded like a flabby, fat kid running a marathon. Amazing sex, no brakes. Pulling hair, screaming, etc... She came, I pulled out and she started sucking me off like a champ. I'm about to come, and pull mr. happy out of her mouth while he gives her a pearl necklace.

She washes up and we go to bed. We wake up and she's in horrible pain. She was sleeping on her back, turns around and the sheets were covered in blood. Nothing like a slasher flick, but enough to get worried. Apprently, the friction from banging on a velvet underground scratched open her back and ass. I remove the sheets completely and my knees were also busted up. Carpet burn up the wazoo! Her's was waaaay worse than mine.

We go downstairs and of course her room mates heard us getting it on. They make some stupid remarks and I try to pay no mind. Then one roomie said: "I'd appreciate it if you'd clean up next time".

I wonder what I did and I check the stairs. Apperently I had popped off some stains on that beatiful red valvet carpet covering the stairs. Guess my aim wasn't as true as I imagined.



Oh, and there was this one time one of my best friends dad walked in on her giving me head in his own couch during a BBQ. That was embarrasing
 
Meh, you can't be too precious about this sort of stuff. I mean she's had it in her mouth.

My wife used to 'share' my man-juice with me if I came in her mouth. It was pretty grim but I didn't mind too much seeing as I'm always the one unloading in her!

Last night

My wife and I had our first kid last April. Her breasts have been amazing since then, nice and full and just fun to play with. Pain in the ass to find a bra for but I digress. Last night I was stroking my cock waiting for her to come into the bedroom and she found me, she stripped down to nothing and laid down on her back. She then asked me to fuck her beautiful breasts. As I was fucking her breasts she would open her mouth and suck the tip just as I would thrust forward. As I was holding her tits together I would squeeze them together and some lactation would happen and squirt all over my dick and she was loving it. There was something so kinky about it and I have never come as hard. I found myself thrusting harder through her breasts till I came all over her face


Last week

I came home from work and she was upstairs wearing nothing but leggings and she has the perfect ass. Nice and plump and soft and smooth. I sat down on the couch and laid her down over my knee and I pulled her leggings down to see her ass and pussy that's it. I proceeded to spank her until her ass was cherry red. She was screaming and moaning and I rolled her over and started to pull her hair and stick my fingers in her ass, not too seconds later she squirted all over my hand and lap. I then got up and bent her over the couch and fucked her in the ass while the neighbour across the street watched from his window. When I was ready to blow my load she got on her knees and proceeded to gag on my cock till she couldn't breathe anymore. Just as she was about to pull my cock out of Her mouth I blew my load right down her throat.

For real? That sounds a bit exaggerated. You were completely okay with the neighbour watching? God, my wife's libido crashed through the floor after we had kids.

You know what isn't cool? When a girl 'forgets' to tell you she's on and you just go to town (in the dark) and then wake up in the morning covered in blood. Yep.

The fact a chick let you when she was on the rag is insanity

My wife used to get really horny on her period, and she never had a lot of blood so we'd shag as normal. Besides a bit of blood on my member and maybe on the bed it didn't make much of a mess.

I... don't really have any?

Stories implies they're worth being told.

Yeah, I've not really got any interesting stories either. I once got a blowjob from my wife when we first got together while we were in the room with two of her friends watching a film (I think it was under pretence that she was going to sleep), but we've never been that wild. For the most part I enjoy vaginal sex when we're in a bed (or the living room sofa, at the very least). The prospect of anal sex does nothing for me, and I prefer to be alone so there's zero chance of being caught.


EDIT - I've just read through this whole topic and feel pretty horny now.
 
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