Aquamarine
Member
OH there are a BUNCH of these, and most of them are real.
Which is why you don't shit where you eat, so to speak.
ahahahahaha perfect
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Dear Girls Who Are (Finally) Ready To Date Fedoras: We Don't Want You Anymore, M'Lady
- Thread starter LyleLanley
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ahahahahaha perfect
lol.
That letter is something else. It could be some transcendent satire, but I'm just not sure. And even it if it were, I'm sure it has been reposted and misappropriated many times since.
ZombieSupaStar
Member
Indeed, and maybe I'm naive here or just really simple minded but I want a woman who is attractive to me, and is a good person. Being a guy on the other hand, jesus christ I need like a fucking flowchart to keep track of all these guidelines for being the proper man.
Currently I just keep going to the gym (because I want to look good for me), keep paying down my debts/saving money (money = freedom), and being my eccentric ass funny self (imo).
JinjoUnchained
Member
I don't mean to generalize. Of course there are passive aggressive, wispy guys that can't get a date and blame it on girls not wanting "nice guys like them". But, come now, surely you've also known self-destructive women who date a rogue's gallery of loser guys with bad attitudes. Then those same women complain that they can't meet someone nice. It goes both ways.
Trojita
Rapid Response Threadmaker
Hey man, he's a 9th Level slayer of Poon
You are only a victim if you choose to be one. I don't think the generalization that girls don't like nice guys is true at all. They just don't like guys just because they are nice.
Be honest, would you date a girl you were otherwise unattracted to just because she was really nice to you or even because she provided you emotional support? Those things are great but they can't make you attractive in themselves. You need to offer value, exactly how you need to demand value.
Buckethead
Banned
Running could give you a great body. Which would affect your confidence. It could make you more enthusiastic - exercising regularly is one of the best mood elevators. Which would make you more empathetic. Which could make you more outgoing... I mean that's a stretch, but the point is that these little things aren't such insignificant events in the book that is you - these things shape you, and the rest of your life significantly. Relish in the idea that you have some agency, and that you can direct this down a path of your desire, and don't just become the product of an indifferent world - the kind of guy who would write the OP, for example.
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
AyaisMUsikWhore
Member
Running a mile or two makes you more physically attractive, not mentally attractive. You can run, have a nice body and physique, but can also underneath all of that be a slimy, two timing, liar who is selfish and only gives a damn about them self. That hobby didn't change that at all.
Now say if youre, idk, a serial killer and you take up gardening. Psychology has it where this new thing you've picked up gives you the illusion that you have changed. This particular thing you have done makes you feel grounded, happy, innocent. But really and truly, its a distraction, that never really changed what and who you are as a person, but simply took away that one small area of your brain that controls your urges for just that second. However the reality is that, no matter what you do, you will always be who you are. Nothing will change that, you will never forget it and in a flash before you know it, you will be exactly what you thought your new hobby would be able to change.
As i've said before, Hobbies do not directly change your personality. If your lazy, taking up reading does not promise that tomorrow you will likely stay clean the next day. In some ways, hobbies can help you gain perspective of your personality traits, but that does not mean that you will completely forget about it. The only way people can really change is if they finally acknowledge who they are and hone that for the better.
InsaneZero
Member
I don't think that people are too entirely static that their core personality cannot drastically change over time. On the other hand, just simply dabbling in different hobbies just so that people can like you better is not going to get you anywhere either.
"Be yourself" isn't really just doing what you want to do regardless of what other people think, it's more like being honest about yourself to yourself and others. Genuine sincerity in regards to what you think and believe about yourself will attract similarly like-minded individuals, but trying to act like someone you aren't doesn't make for long-lasting relationships with anyone. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be making drastic changes in your life to improve yourself even for other people, but it does mean that if you do that you should be sincere about it.
Basically, own up to who you are.
"Be yourself" isn't really just doing what you want to do regardless of what other people think, it's more like being honest about yourself to yourself and others. Genuine sincerity in regards to what you think and believe about yourself will attract similarly like-minded individuals, but trying to act like someone you aren't doesn't make for long-lasting relationships with anyone. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be making drastic changes in your life to improve yourself even for other people, but it does mean that if you do that you should be sincere about it.
Basically, own up to who you are.
Well, I'll just say I really don't agree - but I don't think there's much left to say about it, I absolutely think that hobbies can change your personality, and I have some ideas of how that could happen, but you really don't think they can. I at least respect that you took some time to discuss it with me, so thanks for that!
And who has good Batman opinions! But yes, this. Simple.
Improving on your health is not the same as changing your core personality. Just because you're more outgoing and confident doesn't mean you're suddenly going to think and act differently. Most people don't want to be unhealthy, stressed and have poor self-esteem and they're certainly not a part of someones interests.
Ah that sucks but true. I don't have much of a personality in real life. In fact, I'm an absolute bore-fest that can make friends for a while but part ways later on. I'm pretty sure I'm a distant memory to a lot of former friends and acquaintances. I don't hold it against them as I'm to blame for my bland behavior and forgettable character. And I'm also not particularly nice to look at nor am I attractive in a physical sense. But I don't regret who I am either. I accepted that I'm boring and unimpressive and have no talents that can be considered noteworthy (I don't even think I have talent or skills). My personality is also as riveting as sandpaper. I guess that's that for now.
ZombieSupaStar
Member
That just seems to easy, nothing in life is that easy! Show me the damn charts bro, we need to min max this shit!
Well, shit, I guess you get a free pass to fake it.
I always pictured it as one of those giant gestalt transformers like Devastator.
themagicalkitsune
Member
JFC at the articles in thoughtcatalog. I just...wow.
LyleLanley
Banned
He should've spent at least $200.
shakin_haitian
Banned
no fair, i can't even properly troll this thread
instead, i'll just leave you with this pathetic display
http://www.mgtow.com/
Every time I inadvertently go to one of those sites, I feel like I'm reading a white supremacist's diary on why all women are bitches.
Anyway, it's been a while since I felt enough shame from a site to actually go into my history and delete it out. Kind of weird.
perfectchaos007
Member
For those of you still out of the loop with M'lady, here's the Amy Schumer sketch that took the meme to new heights
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8teRxOSNHs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8teRxOSNHs
InsaneZero
Member
Or found a restaurant with similar quality food for cheaper prices. I hear practicality is something people like.
AyaisMUsikWhore
Member
See, there's this small issue that "nice guys" don't seem to understand.
Basically, from my perspective (as a women) the reason why some of us go out with these idiot, self absorbed, assholes is because they are fun. Women are full of emotions and sometimes these men pull out the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's exciting and an experience that we want to tell. I'm not trying to down guys who are nice but the problem is, guys who tend to be like that want to settle down and be sweet all the time. It's boring. Sorry, some women don't want to experience that yet. Of course there are girls out there who generally do want "do right by my side" kind of guy. However some just want our estrogen levels tampered with.
Girls like men with drama, and as much as some will say they don't, they are only half lying. Some women love the pain, love the arguing , the cheating just to have the excuse to be spiteful. We love to talk about it, we love to obsess over it. Shit, this is how some of us meet new friends and create sisterhoods. "Nice guys" unfortunately, do not come with those traits (which isn't a bad thing), but when your young and dumb, you don't want that. You want to explore and have stories to tell your girlfriends and your kids. Guys do the same thing, albeit not exactly the way that girls do it, but they want to get the most out of their experiences too. Some guys will say they love crazy girls and are pretty much only attracted to them, this sometimes is why.
It really is nothing personal. The reason why women finally wants that sweet guy towards the end is because at some point, women get maternal and want to settle down. They have already passed the "been there done that" stage and now want to be moms and have a guy who will do right by them. We just get tired of the bs. It was fun, but now its not. We all understand at some point that idiot guys will probably be lonely for the rest of their lives because we mature past that time. We understand, sometimes, that there was a time and a place.
The OP is a guy who had it all in reverse. He wanted something she didn't want and now while she's ready to rest her feet, he's getting started. Instead of him recognizing that it's what she wanted when she met him, instead he degrades her for doing exactly what he's doing now. It's pretty tasteless to be frank. If your a guy who wants to treat a women the way she deserves to be treated, there are tons of girls who want that. I just can't see why girls must take flak for wanting what we want at the moment that doesn't come within the general package of the "nice guy".
Disclaimer: I don't want to blanket the issue but just give sort of an insight to why some women do what they do. There are always more sides of the story.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
It pains me that I see one of my friends following the path of the "Nice Guy". I try to help him, but a lot of times he refuses to listen. Just the other day he tried rambling on about some theory as to why girls don't like "nice guys".
I'm not really good at faking it either.
I remember playing the "Nice Guy" card twice, both girls (that I had an interest in) had boyfriends so I didn't pursue because it would feel kind of weird. Then I thought it was an absolutely stupid thing to do the more I thought about it so I gave up on putting on the act. The reasons listed before also attribute to why I don't try as much. I have absolutely nothing going for me right now in terms of a social life. I'm fat, I'm boring and I'm unattractive and I fail in confidence and personality. Those things are enough to not try as hard on pursuing any type of relationship entirely, and like I said I don't hold it against anyone if a person doesn't want to hang out with me as a friend or as a date. I get it. I have myself to blame.
I'm not a defeatist though, I try from time to time. I just know that all of my attributes won't put me on anyone's radar.
hydragonwarrior
Member
Ultimately, I think this is just giving guys who wear fedoras a bad name... to other guys.
I think girls will be smart enough to realize that not all guys who wear hats turn out to be pretentious weirdo's like that fedora blogger.
I think girls will be smart enough to realize that not all guys who wear hats turn out to be pretentious weirdo's like that fedora blogger.
Orbis Tabula
Member
OH there are a BUNCH of these, and most of them are real.
Which is why you don't shit where you eat, so to speak.
Where do people get these? They always crack me up. I could read about a thousand.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I agree with some of what AyaisMUsikWhore is saying. I definitely look for a person who can get my heart and brain racing, whether it's in good or bad ways. I've gotten bored and distant in relationships with incredibly good people who just couldn't keep me attracted to them because they were too nice and plain. It's a legit part of what makes good relationships for some people.
shakin_haitian
Banned
Taking care of an emotional child?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Look at the assumptions and projections you just made here. Damn.
José Mourinho
cocknose
lttp on this, but for a guy who's getting so much tang 10 years his junior and who claims to be happy for the victim of that text he sure is awfully cut up. :lol
JinjoUnchained
Member
Thank you for the excellent response. I've seen a lot knee-jerk responses that generalize that all guys who claim to be nice are just trying to rationalize the fact that they are unattractive. It's much more of a gray area and I think you captured it really well. A lot of these women being called out in this viral post really just want a certain thing when they are younger and then want something else when they're older. Nothing wrong with that, guys do the same thing. My only issue is with hypocritical women who date mean, albeit exciting guys and then complain that they won't grow up or that they are jerks. I say just own whatever your decision is. If you're young and you want to have fun, date whoever excites you and don't apologize. But own your decision; don't complain about these exciting bad boys when they treat you like shit like you've somehow been wronged. It's your decision to date them.
That's where guys get frustrated. If a women freely decides to date some scamp and then doesn't own her decision and acts wronged. It goes the other way too with guys who date hot, crazy girls and act like a victim when she starts shit.
What that women is doing is worse than the idiot being a "nice guy". She is clearly using him and doesn't want to tell him off. It works both ways.
Considering how much he spent on the meal, maybe he is just a very hungry person. (In addition be afflicted with insurmountable thirst)
Read the first post in Fitgaf - begin to lift following the starting strength program. A year from now you won't be fat, and you may just be somebodies idea of attractive. Don't think of yourself as boring, think of yourself as a good listener. Go out, get wasted, have a few stories to tell about the times you were a fucking idiot.
Ah, look, I suck at advice, but for fucks sake, don't put that attitude out into the world,
HA! I'm not sad or anything. But it does feel good to get it out there. And like I said, I've already accepted what I am.
RustyNails
Member
JFC at the articles in thoughtcatalog. I just...wow.
I was looking for this gif lol
That is literally the Chinese government official term for unmarried thirty something women.
I just think this whole thing is wrong from start to finish. Think in terms of being a fun person to be around. Don't be annoying and don't make people uncomfortable. When you bring someone home can they relax like they'd be able to at their own place, or is it better or worse at your place? Being nice is just so irrelevant, you can be a sarcastic asshole all day long and be hilarious and fun to be around. Nobody ever says "man that comedian came across as such a nice guy," or "that guy in that movie had really good manners." What planet are we on where this is important? I'm glad these people exist though because they are endlessly entertaining.
ZombieSupaStar
Member
Yeah but sometimes those guys can go in reverse like you say, and then are jaded or turned asshole by bitterness. It is kind of sad, and I honestly can see a lot of where they would be coming from. When I would date I wouldn't ever be friendzoned/turned fedora, but I was definitely not "a bad boy". Having a father who was a legit bad boy and frankly an abusive piece of shit to women, I never ever saw the "sexiness" in it. Same with alcohol (but that's another story and step parent). And in my experience I want nothing to do with ex's that went for the bad boys back then and want "stability" now, they can (kindly) go pound some sand. Now if I met some girl that had a past well I guess that's whatever I guess, looking back I will have missed not really sowing my oats in my 20s though, since it seems like everyone else did.
To men and women and thirsty folks in general- try to find someone who's both nice and interesting. Not mutually exclusive. He/she may not go to fancy parties, sing in a band, and travel the world on a weekly basis, but it doesn't mean they won't be able to carry decent conversation for the long term. (I'd still put priority on a mate who won't try to sleep with all your best friends or set your hair on fire mid-argument) And if it happens, and you see a possible glimmer of happiness on the horizon- fight for it. Some people just need the proper nudge to get out of that seemingly awkward and dull mindset. May only work if you're actually interesting yourself, and the other person isn't two cats in a trench coat.
And some people just have shit personalities. Can't be salvaged.
And some people just have shit personalities. Can't be salvaged.
Mineshaft_Gap
4077th
It's funny that these m'ladies men are finally coming to the fore. The Amy Schumer sketch was fantastic.
I make it a point to be nice to pretty much everyone and there are some guys out there who choose to interpret friendliness with being led on. I go out of my way to not lead people on. Honestly, some women don't and they're a whole other topic in and of themselves. I digress.
With some people it just doesn't matter. There's no way that doesn't involve getting with them that doesn't result in them labeling you a bitch. They live inside their own heads and ultimately they don't respect you as an individual whose entitled to NOT be attracted to them.
I used to play a lot of online shooters and my friends list slowly dwindled down over the years as a result of shalt like this. Dude, I just want to frag like brosephs.
I make it a point to be nice to pretty much everyone and there are some guys out there who choose to interpret friendliness with being led on. I go out of my way to not lead people on. Honestly, some women don't and they're a whole other topic in and of themselves. I digress.
With some people it just doesn't matter. There's no way that doesn't involve getting with them that doesn't result in them labeling you a bitch. They live inside their own heads and ultimately they don't respect you as an individual whose entitled to NOT be attracted to them.
I used to play a lot of online shooters and my friends list slowly dwindled down over the years as a result of shalt like this. Dude, I just want to frag like brosephs.
Isn't that in japan?
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