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Dear Girls Who Are (Finally) Ready To Date Fedoras: We Don't Want You Anymore, M'Lady

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What i find funny is, if he knew she was texting her ex, why didn't he say something about it? Why didn't he showcase his confidence by basically showing her why he's better, like idk, taking her phone away, or even telling her he knows who she's talking to and dominate the whole date taking away the other guy's power. He lost plain and simple because he himself, wasn't confident in himself to get the job done.

According to my experience its those guys that never take it more far. They think "Oh. I open the door for you. It is clear that I want a relationship, just because I did that!"
Often those people dont even show the girl what they want...
 
Wow. That is more or less the opposite of what people have been saying the whole thread. But, as you said, different sides. *shrug*

EDIT: If we're doing movie quotes - "Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, Logan; they don't bring him home. They marry the good guy."

I don't get what you're implying here.
 
Stick just jumped out the window on page 5, what the hell set him off? I didn't see anyone fat shaming.

Aya, I'm going to have to disagree re: hobbies. A hobby is more than just a skill you check off on a list. The more hobbies I pick up, the more people I know. The more people I know, the more people I hang out with. The more hobbies I have and the more people I hang out with, the more interesting I am to women I want to date. It's a nice cycle. Always having a story to share and a party to go to and an activity to cancel makes you more desirable than someone who is always available. And yes, the more you run and work out, the more attractive you become, even without having to say anything.

I've grown exponentially as a person from my early 20s to my mid 20s, and then my mid 20s to my early 30s. I had to. Frankly, the old me wasn't working. Unlike the proto-clown in the OP, I don't blame women for not dating the younger me. I think the worst advice you can give someone who doesn't have any success with friends or women is "be yourself". It's more productive to say "be better".

As for the bit about girls in their 20s just wanting to have fun, this is largely true for both men and women. The guy in the OP is a hypocrite, because he's trying to get laid with a self-professed bimbo for the sole reason that she's really, really attractive. They have nothing in common, they don't get along, and yet he's pissed that this woman doesn't see him as the perfect catch that he is. He's obsessed with her looks, and it even carries over into his insults (lol saggy boobs and c-sections). A lot of "nice" guys make this mistake, fixating on the first hot girl who talks to them as a soul mate like they just stepped out of Can't Hardly Wait. I'm sure if he asked a "nice girl" out on a series of $400 dates, he'd be married with 3 kids by now. The catch is, girls who are interested in long-term and stable relationships at a young age get scooped up quick by genuine nice guys who treat them right (and had the balls to ask them out), and they'll be hitting their 10 year anniversaries when the rest of us are just starting to settle down.
 
According to my experience its those guys that never take it more far. They think "Oh. I open the door for you. It is clear that I want a relationship, just because I did that!"
Often those people dont even show the girl what they want...

Ho shit... if this is the case, I'm a promiscuous door-opener. I mean, I open that shit for everyone. Men, women, doesn't matter. The mixed messages I must be sending!

GAF halp
 

Replicant

Member
Shouldn't had read this thread before going to sleep. I just had a nightmare about some guy that though I was Bi and got a crush on me and started to be super creepy and then confesed. When I told him I was straight he got angry and started talking shit about me all over work. Never woke up more relieved Hahaha

Someone at my workplace has been staring at me for a good while now, seemingly hoping I'll initiate conversation. But the thing is I'm not attracted to him and unless I am, I rarely make the first move in initiating conversation. So here we are 4 months since he started working here and he STILL looks at me in that manner. Frankly, it's getting awkward and kind of creepy now. I don't even know if he's gay OR straight and just want to get to know me as friends. But you shouldn't continue to stare at someone else for 4 straight months and not saying a word. As a result, now I try to avoid his stare by looking elsewhere if he looks at me. Just like women, I like men who are confident and can talk to me. Staring at me is not a good substitute for talking.

In reverse, if I make the first effort, I expect the other guy to reciprocate. Inability to do that will have me assuming that the person is just not interested in talking to me or not having the balls to return the favor. Either way, it's a sign for me to move on.
 

G-Fex

Member
"Let me show you my Yu Gi Oh collection!"

I know people like this personally. Just go to a convention and there are people whining about how nice they are but cant seem to find a gf. Not really helping that they smell like they didnt take a shower for several weeks, are "obsessed" with some hobby, but seriously dont know much about it and dont have any other kind of hobby.

Well I'm not showing you shit from my grandpa's game shop you jerk.
 
Well I'm not showing you shit from my grandpa's game shop you jerk.

Who needs Yu Gi Oh.

I play the fine arts of poker, like a true gentleman with class.

fedora4.jpg
 

Pau

Member
Wow. That is more or less the opposite of what people have been saying the whole thread. But, as you said, different sides. *shrug*

EDIT: If we're doing movie quotes - "Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, Logan; they don't bring him home. They marry the good guy."
Joke's on Jean since the good guy ended up cheating on her.
 

ElyrionX

Member
I've read a few pages in this thread. I'm not sure what the fuss is.

Also, guy in the OP is salty as fuck but he's definitely come out ahead and it's a nice thing to see.
 

G-Fex

Member
Who needs Yu Gi Oh.

I play the fine arts of poker, like a true gentleman with class.

fedora4.jpg

I was doing that before, and I didn't need a hat. Just ridiculous hair.


And chances are I might not ever go to a convention. I fear wildly horrible stenches and smug nerds.
 

Moppet13

Member
Stick just jumped out the window on page 5, what the hell set him off? I didn't see anyone fat shaming.
If he didn't actually talk about the guy being fat I would have assumed he was arguing you shouldn't judge people based on if they wear a fedora or have a neckbeard? But that was strange as hell...
 
I've read a few pages in this thread. I'm not sure what the fuss is.

Also, guy in the OP is salty as fuck but he's definitely come out ahead and it's a nice thing to see.

The question is, if he had moved on and would be the "bigger man" (and nice like he said), why does he feel the need to write such a long post?

Besides judging from the shit he wrote, it seems he really isnt genuinely nice. In the whole post he kinda calls the woman a bitch.
 
...if you're not an active person maybe you should stop trying to date women who are attracted to active men?

I mean, it's just a thought.

This is pretty spot on, honestly. If you yourself are a rather lax person who wishes to spend his/her free-time at home playing video games, writing, watching movies, etc, then chances are that you're going to be most compatible with those types of people. It doesn't hurt to expand your horizons and try new things, but don't force yourself into being someone you're not by trying to date someone who is NOTHING like you.

It doesn't hurt to step out of your comfort zone and do new things though.
 

GamerJM

Banned
You make an excellent point. To expand on it some though and frame it in a way where it isn't built around the idea of a dramatic, unhealthy relationship full of cheating:

I think many of these 'nice guys' aren't nearly as nice as they think. They're actually very bland due to the fact that they lack confidence and the ability to express their emotions properly through words, body language, and actions.

Many women not only want a man that will challenge or make them think (very important none the less), but also one that can empathize and share emotions in a healthy way. Doing so takes a tremendous amount of confidence and is much easier said than done. Opening a door is not an expression of feelings. It's a dated curtsy. Many of these 'fedora' type men are incredibly cold and shut off. That in of itself is a major lack of confidence and it's why many women find themselves not attracted to them. They have no ability to just be open, say how they feel, share what they're about, etc. What sounds more intimate. A date to a five star restaurant where the man holds every door and pays or a walk through a neighborhood said man grew up in while walking dogs together? One is far more personal and intimate. When 'fedora' guys often try to express how they feel it comes out incredibly strange because they don't understand boundaries. Just read some threads on here when guys try to ask a girl out, it's crazy.

Holding doors and buying dinner wont build you a relationship. Being completely confident in who you are and being able to express it with boundaries through words and actions will. Showing her how you feel by being open with her about yourself, passions, and feelings. Those are the things that will help you find a woman that loves you. Not passively doing favors with zero openness or expression.

I'm not a "nice guy" or someone who wears a fedora, but this post actually made me reflect on myself and it made me realize that one of the reasons I don't think I'll ever have a girlfriend or whatever is that I really don't know how to empathize/share emotions in a normal/healthy way.
 

stonesak

Okay, if you really insist
I like the idea that you
women
can simply change what kind of personality you're attracted to, Doesn't work that way.
 

MogCakes

Member
Either way, the "good guy" ain't so good anymore.

Good guys in the stereotypical knight in shining armor sense have never existed. There are men with honor and those without, but men with honor can still do stupid, irrational things that have rippling consequences.
 
Good guys in the stereotypical knight in shining armor sense have never existed. There are men with honor and those without, but men with honor can still do stupid, irrational things that have rippling consequences.

Oh, I was still speaking about Cyclops :p
 

Geek

Ninny Prancer
This reads like pure satire, but almost everyone in this thread seems to think it's real. I don't understand.
 
You make an excellent point. To expand on it some though and frame it in a way where it isn't built around the idea of a dramatic, unhealthy relationship full of cheating:

I think many of these 'nice guys' aren't nearly as nice as they think. They're actually very bland due to the fact that they lack confidence and the ability to express their emotions properly through words, body language, and actions.

Many women not only want a man that will challenge or make them think (very important none the less), but also one that can empathize and share emotions in a healthy way. Doing so takes a tremendous amount of confidence and is much easier said than done. Opening a door is not an expression of feelings. It's a dated curtsy. Many of these 'fedora' type men are incredibly cold and shut off. That in of itself is a major lack of confidence and it's why many women find themselves not attracted to them. They have no ability to just be open, say how they feel, share what they're about, etc. What sounds more intimate. A date to a five star restaurant where the man holds every door and pays or a walk through a neighborhood said man grew up in while walking dogs together? One is far more personal and intimate. When 'fedora' guys often try to express how they feel it comes out incredibly strange because they don't understand boundaries. Just read some threads on here when guys try to ask a girl out, it's crazy.

Holding doors and buying dinner wont build you a relationship. Being completely confident in who you are and being able to express it with boundaries through words and actions will. Showing her how you feel by being open with her about yourself, passions, and feelings. Those are the things that will help you find a woman that loves you. Not passively doing favors with zero openness or expression.

I'll remember this, and try to be more like that.
 
I will gladly open the door to the restaurant for you, but the door to my heart is not so easily accessed. I will pay for you, but I won't pine for you. I'll dine with you, but I won't die for you. I'm the nicest guy that you never knew.
 

Laughing Banana

Weeping Pickle
1. These (and others) are core traits.

Selfish / Generous
Enthusiastic / Indifferent
Empathy / Apathy
Self-Confident / Insecure
Outgoing / Shy

2. Taking up running does not affect these traits.

I disagree. Achieving a healthier lifestyle, especially one that directly affect your physical appearance in a positive manner, is often a very large boon that can help push people doing it to be more positive in general in life.

More confidence in one's self can bring really wondrous change in how one treat the people and the world around him/her.
 

Wiktor

Member
We can't fix ourselves until we rid this world of people who don't love another person because of body.

Yes, because the woman who scorned you was ugly right? Since you don't care about physical appearance I'm sure you've tried to date ugly girl who had great personality. And she still didn't want you?
 

agrajag

Banned
What the hell is a 5-star restaurant? Is that some kind of Yelp thing? 3 stars is the highest rating Michelin awards.
The closest thing I can think of is the AAA five diamond award, but five diamonds is mostly for hotels. Most really good restaurants get only 4 diamonds. I think five star is being used as a colloquialism here.
 
Fuck, I open the door for everyone, too.

Please respond
by having sexual intercourse with me after I hold the door for you
.
 

Shinta

Banned
It seems like one of these kinds of threads pops up every other day. I guess it's really popular to take turns dishing out advice to fictitious guys while discussing how much better we are all than them. It's just ... odd.

Every one of these threads devolves into a long list of prescribed advice that we're all supposed to follow to not be a horrible person. The fact is, nobody knows this guy, or the girl he went on a date with. No one knows what he should or shouldn't have done. All these threads are, is an elaborate way for people to jump in and say why they're better than someone else.

It's just nauseating to listen to an endless list of ways that men are supposed to behave before they are considered fit to be with someone. There is someone out there for everyone, and everyone deserves to have someone else important in their lives. There's lots of shit women could do as well to be better people, but no one wants to vaguely describe how all women should act because we're all a little more self-aware about how incredibly condescending and sexist that is.
 
It seems like one of these kinds of threads pops up every other day. I guess it's really popular to take turns dishing out advice to fictitious guys while discussing how much better we are all than them. It's just ... odd.

Every one of these threads devolves into a long list of prescribed advice that we're all supposed to follow to not be a horrible person. The fact is, nobody knows this guy, or the girl he went on a date with. No one knows what he should or shouldn't have done. All these threads are, is an elaborate way for people to jump in and say why they're better than someone else.

It's just nauseating to listen to an endless list of ways that men are supposed to behave before they are considered fit to be with someone. There is someone out there for everyone, and everyone deserves to have someone else important in their lives. There's lots of shit women could do as well to be better people, but no one wants to vaguely describe how all women should act because we're all a little more self-aware about how incredibly condescending and sexist that is.

Dudes wouldn't be pining away if these women needed to change.
 
T

Transhuman

Unconfirmed Member
See, there's this small issue that "nice guys" don't seem to understand.

Basically, from my perspective (as a women) the reason why some of us go out with these idiot, self absorbed, assholes is because they are fun. Women are full of emotions and sometimes these men pull out the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's exciting and an experience that we want to tell. I'm not trying to down guys who are nice but the problem is, guys who tend to be like that want to settle down and be sweet all the time. It's boring. Sorry, some women don't want to experience that yet.Of course there are girls out there who generally do want "do right by my side" kind of guy. However some just want our estrogen levels tampered with.

JohnBender.jpg
 
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