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[Sorian]

Why would a guy who drives an Audi and bangs 20 year olds write such a long winded, hatefilled post about some random chick that he simped many years ago?

"I didn't get that one girl that one time and that shit infuriates me and its her fault because she is a whore."

 

[BocoDragon]

That is literally the Chinese government official term for unmarried thirty something women.

But in Chinese does it mean "uneaten food"?

 

[not psycho]

I think part of it is that nice guys really are just too good. A lot of people can't believe someone could be so good, so they instinctively interpret it as a facade. It gets interpreted as acting nice to get sex, or not being willing to reveal their true self. It's a catch 22 for the nice guy, who truly, intrinsically respects others and treats them as equals. If they are themselves, their honest purity gets mistaken for a shiny veneer over a well of roiling bitterness and entitlement that they try to hide from themselves and others, until at last it spills over, slowly at first, a droplet, a splash, and finally an unstoppable tide which soaks through the veneer and reveals their inner self to the world. It isn't fair for nice guys to be interpreted that way, but the reality is they are too good for this world.

 

[royalan]

I think part of it is that nice guys really are just too good. A lot of people can't believe someone could be so good, so they instinctively interpret it as a facade. It gets interpreted as acting nice to get sex, or not being willing to reveal their true self. It's a catch 22 for the nice guy, who truly, intrinsically respects others and treats them as equals. If they are themselves, their honest purity gets mistaken for a shiny veneer over a well of roiling bitterness and entitlement that they try to hide from themselves and others, until at last it spills over, slowly at first, a droplet, a splash, and finally an unstoppable tide which soaks through the veneer and reveals their inner self to the world. It isn't fair for nice guys to be interpreted that way, but the reality is they are too good for this world.

See, I don't know about this. Sure, they may be people like that out there, but I never met a "genuine nice guy" who wasn't also a doormat. Not just letting women, but everyone, walk all over them.

Choose your flavor, but neither tastes good.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I'm suddenly in the mood for chinese leftovers.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

See, there's this small issue that "nice guys" don't seem to understand.

Basically, from my perspective (as a women) the reason why some of us go out with these idiot, self absorbed, assholes is because they are fun. Women are full of emotions and sometimes these men pull out the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's exciting and an experience that we want to tell. I'm not trying to down guys who are nice but the problem is, guys who tend to be like that want to settle down and be sweet all the time. It's boring. Sorry, some women don't want to experience that yet. Of course there are girls out there who generally do want "do right by my side" kind of guy. However some just want our estrogen levels tampered with.

Girls like men with drama, and as much as some will say they don't, they are only half lying. Some women love the pain, love the arguing , the cheating just to have the excuse to be spiteful. We love to talk about it, we love to obsess over it. Shit, this is how some of us meet new friends and create sisterhoods. "Nice guys" unfortunately, do not come with those traits (which isn't a bad thing), but when your young and dumb, you don't want that. You want to explore and have stories to tell your girlfriends and your kids. Guys do the same thing, albeit not exactly the way that girls do it, but they want to get the most out of their experiences too. Some guys will say they love crazy girls and are pretty much only attracted to them, this sometimes is why.

It really is nothing personal. The reason why women finally wants that sweet guy towards the end is because at some point, women get maternal and want to settle down. They have already passed the "been there done that" stage and now want to be moms and have a guy who will do right by them. We just get tired of the bs. It was fun, but now its not. We all understand at some point that idiot guys will probably be lonely for the rest of their lives because we mature past that time. We understand, sometimes, that there was a time and a place.

The OP is a guy who had it all in reverse. He wanted something she didn't want and now while she's ready to rest her feet, he's getting started. Instead of him recognizing that it's what she wanted when she met him, instead he degrades her for doing exactly what he's doing now. It's pretty tasteless to be frank. If your a guy who wants to treat a women the way she deserves to be treated, there are tons of girls who want that. I just can't see why girls must take flak for wanting what we want at the moment that doesn't come within the general package of the "nice guy".

Disclaimer: I don't want to blanket the issue but just give sort of an insight to why some women do what they do. There are always more sides of the story.

I don't think I've ever had a preference for jerks. It just happens that ALL men are jerks if they ever reach a point where they want to break up with you. :/

I like fun, active, interesting men. A lot of the girls I know who go after jerks do it because they don't see that being a jerk isn't synonymous with being confident, sexy, interesting, fun, etc. A lot of young women are also *shock* insecure and unsure of themselves. If you don't have an appreciation for what you're worth it isn't unusual for you to end up with people (in general, not even just guys) who under value you. Which just sort of perpetuates the whole thing.

I disagree somewhat with the whole settle down and have babies argument. I think with maturity comes self acceptance and respect. With those things you're in a much better state of mind to end up with someone you connect with on a meaningful level.

I'm still young so maybe this will change, but screw having babies. Pregnancy sounds like a pain in the ass. I'd much rather be a big sister/aunt. The reason I don't target jerk is because I've been brought up to avoid people who make me feel like shit.

 

[MIMIC]

While you were waiting for those texts that never came I was busy getting my career in order and maximizing my credit score.

Sexy

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

I wonder if when I turn thirty if a maximized credit score will turn me on as much as Chris Hemsworth's rippling abs.

 

[braves01]

I'm suddenly in the mood for chinese leftovers.

口渴极了

 

[rtcn63]

See, I don't know about this. Sure, they may be people like that out there, but I never met a "genuine nice guy" who wasn't also a doormat. Not just letting women, but everyone, walk all over them.

Choose your flavor, but neither tastes good.

They're naive. Not necessarily the worst thing in the world, considering. The smart ones rarely stay that way. And that's kinda sad.

 

[FUME5]

I wonder if when I turn thirty if a maximized credit score will turn me on as much as Chris Hemsworth's rippling abs.

Nice guys will complain you're being shallow either way.

 

[Stinkles]

Isn't that in japan?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/18/304329679/-leftover-women-blamed-for-china-s-surplus-of-unmarried-men

 

[God Dayumm]

Welp, at least he got a date. I'd kill for a chance to spend time with someone even if she is an asshole.

 

[Ichabod]

Some chick really rustled his jimmies.

 

[daycru]

Something something fedora something something fat shaming something something "hey, laugh at the fatty" something something something

 

[royalan]

Something something fedora something something fat shaming something something "hey, laugh at the fatty" something something something

I don't think anyone in here is fat shaming.

 

[Stet]

I think part of it is that nice guys really are just too good. A lot of people can't believe someone could be so good, so they instinctively interpret it as a facade. It gets interpreted as acting nice to get sex, or not being willing to reveal their true self. It's a catch 22 for the nice guy, who truly, intrinsically respects others and treats them as equals. If they are themselves, their honest purity gets mistaken for a shiny veneer over a well of roiling bitterness and entitlement that they try to hide from themselves and others, until at last it spills over, slowly at first, a droplet, a splash, and finally an unstoppable tide which soaks through the veneer and reveals their inner self to the world. It isn't fair for nice guys to be interpreted that way, but the reality is they are too good for this world.

If they were really nice they wouldn't give a shit where being nice got them.

 

[Spasm]

Isn't that in japan?

Possibly also Japan, but definitely China. My wife writes papers on them.

 

[Mesoian]

Something something fedora something something fat shaming something something "hey, laugh at the fatty" something something something

Yeah that's not what's happening here, but okay.

 

[Stinkles]

Something something fedora something something fat shaming something something "hey, laugh at the fatty" something something something

Fedoras are a choice.

 

[riotous]

Was Jesus a doormat?

Perhaps nice guys just expect you to love them more than you love life or your parents. Is it that bad?

 

[Courage]

Sexy

I'm mid-fap waiting for which Audis he was in between buying.

 

[LaserBuddha]

If they were really nice they wouldn't give a shit where being nice got them.

QFT

 

[Onion_Relish]

口渴极了

白人每天口渴极了

 

[rtcn63]

If they were really nice they wouldn't give a shit where being nice got them.

Nice people, like other ten-fingered, two-legged homosapiens, tend to desire things like friendship, love, respect. Upward mobility. Doesn't necessarily make them selfish or entitled, just means that they're human. Supposedly.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Fedoras are a choice.

Says the guy who wasn't born with a Fedora.

 

[Vermillion]

Fedoras are a choice.

A very sexy choice.

 

[Unbounded]

If they were really nice they wouldn't give a shit where being nice got them.

Being nice doesn't exactly mean you're going to be the perfect measure of sainthood 24/7. If that's what it means to you though, you have a depressingly cynical view of humanity.

 

[equippedwithtowel]

Something something fedora something something fat shaming something something "hey, laugh at the fatty" something something something

Fedoras' know no limits on body type

 

[HOMEBOY OVER HERE]

See, there's this small issue that "nice guys" don't seem to understand.

Basically, from my perspective (as a women) the reason why some of us go out with these idiot, self absorbed, assholes is because they are fun. Women are full of emotions and sometimes these men pull out the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's exciting and an experience that we want to tell. I'm not trying to down guys who are nice but the problem is, guys who tend to be like that want to settle down and be sweet all the time. It's boring. Sorry, some women don't want to experience that yet. Of course there are girls out there who generally do want "do right by my side" kind of guy. However some just want our estrogen levels tampered with.


Girls like men with drama, and as much as some will say they don't, they are only half lying. Some women love the pain, love the arguing , the cheating just to have the excuse to be spiteful. We love to talk about it, we love to obsess over it. Shit, this is how some of us meet new friends and create sisterhoods. "Nice guys" unfortunately, do not come with those traits (which isn't a bad thing), but when your young and dumb, you don't want that. You want to explore and have stories to tell your girlfriends and your kids. Guys do the same thing, albeit not exactly the way that girls do it, but they want to get the most out of their experiences too. Some guys will say they love crazy girls and are pretty much only attracted to them, this sometimes is why.

It really is nothing personal. The reason why women finally wants that sweet guy towards the end is because at some point, women get maternal and want to settle down. They have already passed the "been there done that" stage and now want to be moms and have a guy who will do right by them. We just get tired of the bs. It was fun, but now its not. We all understand at some point that idiot guys will probably be lonely for the rest of their lives because we mature past that time. We understand, sometimes, that there was a time and a place.

The OP is a guy who had it all in reverse. He wanted something she didn't want and now while she's ready to rest her feet, he's getting started. Instead of him recognizing that it's what she wanted when she met him, instead he degrades her for doing exactly what he's doing now. It's pretty tasteless to be frank. If your a guy who wants to treat a women the way she deserves to be treated, there are tons of girls who want that. I just can't see why girls must take flak for wanting what we want at the moment that doesn't come within the general package of the "nice guy".

Disclaimer: I don't want to blanket the issue but just give sort of an insight to why some women do what they do. There are always more sides of the story.

You make an excellent point. To expand on it some though and frame it in a way where it isn't built around the idea of a dramatic, unhealthy relationship full of cheating:

I think many of these 'nice guys' aren't nearly as nice as they think. They're actually very bland due to the fact that they lack confidence and the ability to express their emotions properly through words, body language, and actions.

Many women not only want a man that will challenge or make them think (very important none the less), but also one that can empathize and share emotions in a healthy way. Doing so takes a tremendous amount of confidence and is much easier said than done. Opening a door is not an expression of feelings. It's a dated curtsy. Many of these 'fedora' type men are incredibly cold and shut off. That in of itself is a major lack of confidence and it's why many women find themselves not attracted to them. They have no ability to just be open, say how they feel, share what they're about, etc. What sounds more intimate. A date to a five star restaurant where the man holds every door and pays or a walk through a neighborhood said man grew up in while walking dogs together? One is far more personal and intimate. When 'fedora' guys often try to express how they feel it comes out incredibly strange because they don't understand boundaries. Just read some threads on here when guys try to ask a girl out, it's crazy.

Holding doors and buying dinner wont build you a relationship. Being completely confident in who you are and being able to express it with boundaries through words and actions will. Showing her how you feel by being open with her about yourself, passions, and feelings. Those are the things that will help you find a woman that loves you. Not passively doing favors with zero openness or expression.

 

[Dai101]

Something something fedora something something fat shaming something something "hey, laugh at the fatty" something something something

pls respond

 

[MUnited83]

Nice people, like other ten-fingered, two-legged homosapiens, tend to desire things like friendship, love, respect. Upward mobility. Doesn't necessarily make them selfish or entitled, just means that they're human. Supposedly.

Pretty sure that the point is that the "niceness" shouldn't be a currency you can trade for those things.

 

[rtcn63]

Pretty sure that the point is that the "niceness" shouldn't be a currency you can trade for those things.

I get that. But it does seem that there are those who think if you're nice, that you should expect to be walked on, passed over. That you inherently don't have the right to be anything but alone and abused. I feel being nice is a good trait, personally. I may be misinterpreting, it's late and I'm sober. I'm going to go now.

 

[Vermillion]

See, there's this small issue that "nice guys" don't seem to understand.

Basically, from my perspective (as a women) the reason why some of us go out with these idiot, self absorbed, assholes is because they are fun. Women are full of emotions and sometimes these men pull out the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's exciting and an experience that we want to tell. I'm not trying to down guys who are nice but the problem is, guys who tend to be like that want to settle down and be sweet all the time. It's boring. Sorry, some women don't want to experience that yet. Of course there are girls out there who generally do want "do right by my side" kind of guy. However some just want our estrogen levels tampered with.

Girls like men with drama, and as much as some will say they don't, they are only half lying. Some women love the pain, love the arguing , the cheating just to have the excuse to be spiteful. We love to talk about it, we love to obsess over it. Shit, this is how some of us meet new friends and create sisterhoods. "Nice guys" unfortunately, do not come with those traits (which isn't a bad thing), but when your young and dumb, you don't want that. You want to explore and have stories to tell your girlfriends and your kids. Guys do the same thing, albeit not exactly the way that girls do it, but they want to get the most out of their experiences too. Some guys will say they love crazy girls and are pretty much only attracted to them, this sometimes is why.

It really is nothing personal. The reason why women finally wants that sweet guy towards the end is because at some point, women get maternal and want to settle down. They have already passed the "been there done that" stage and now want to be moms and have a guy who will do right by them. We just get tired of the bs. It was fun, but now its not. We all understand at some point that idiot guys will probably be lonely for the rest of their lives because we mature past that time. We understand, sometimes, that there was a time and a place.

The OP is a guy who had it all in reverse. He wanted something she didn't want and now while she's ready to rest her feet, he's getting started. Instead of him recognizing that it's what she wanted when she met him, instead he degrades her for doing exactly what he's doing now. It's pretty tasteless to be frank. If your a guy who wants to treat a women the way she deserves to be treated, there are tons of girls who want that. I just can't see why girls must take flak for wanting what we want at the moment that doesn't come within the general package of the "nice guy".

Disclaimer: I don't want to blanket the issue but just give sort of an insight to why some women do what they do. There are always more sides of the story.

Wow. That is more or less the opposite of what people have been saying the whole thread. But, as you said, different sides. *shrug*

EDIT: If we're doing movie quotes - "Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, Logan; they don't bring him home. They marry the good guy."

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I get that. But it does seem that there are who think if you're nice, that you should expect to be walked on, passed over. That you inherently don't have the right to be anything but alone and abused. I feel being nice is a good trait, personally. I may be misinterpreting, it's late and I'm sober. I'm going to go now.

Those sorts of responses are just supporting the usual nice guy routine with some sarcasm. Nice guys are the ones who think their loneliness is being perpetrated on them rather than something they caused themselves. For example, the article.

Also, being nice is a good trait, but it's also the very basic form of humanity. Nice guys want rewards for being what we should all be by default.

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

Says the guy who wasn't born with a Fedora.

M'mom had a c-section scar at thirty from pushing out my dad's fedora-headed baby.

 

[Wazzy]

I get that. But it does seem that there are those who think if you're nice, that you should expect to be walked on, passed over. That you inherently don't have the right to be anything but alone and abused. I feel being nice is a good trait, personally. I may be misinterpreting, it's late and I'm sober. I'm going to go now.

No, you should expect to get walked on if you're a doormat.

 

[Nevasleep]

Ralph, just because you are "nice guy", does not mean you are nice guy.

 

[LCGeek]

Someone's bitter

Got a few paragraphs in and thoughts this. The ending summed this point up quite well especially the part about douche bags not keeping the this type of girl.

Men like this are why bad guys win cause when you crack you're just like them. Here's a tip to some guys in here, do what this douche did and you will never have another person to share your life with. Life sucks but when you're bitter begrudging yourself no one gives a shit nor are they required too.

 

[Aizu_Itsuko]

Why can't people just be more assertive?

There is no need to be bitter. Someone treated you like shit at some point? Then it's completely natural that you don't want that person in your life, but that's it. Being this resentful is not healthy and is a sign of immaturity. There are plenty of nice people out there. Just say "ok" and move on with your life. You will be happier. At least that is what an actual nice guy/girl would do.

 

[Surface of Me]

Those sorts of responses are just supporting the usual nice guy routine with some sarcasm. Nice guys are the ones who think their loneliness is being perpetrated on them rather than something they caused themselves. For example, the article.

Also, being nice is a good trait, but it's also the very basic form of humanity. Nice guys want rewards for being what we should all be by default.

On the flip side of that coin, it's very clear that not everyone is nice, whether or not we all should.

Still, I agree the problem these guys have are entitlement issues, skewed gender views, and social issues. Probably descending in that order.

 

[gosox333]

I don't believe for a second that whoever wrote what's in the op was for realsies. There are people like that for sure, but what was written hits every single parody note out there with all this niceguy fedora crap. I just don't buy it.

Favorite part was the Audi bit. That had me laughing.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I don't believe for a second that whoever wrote what's in the op was for realsies. There are people like that for sure, but what was written hits every single parody note out there with all this niceguy fedora crap. I just don't buy it.

Favorite part was the Audi bit. That had me laughing.

Read the comments. If this is parody, it's way too close to reality.

 

[rtcn63]

Also, being nice is a good trait, but it's also the very basic form of humanity. Nice guys want rewards for being what we should all be by default.

But we're not. Seeing as how often some of us shit on nice folk. And we want things. We want companionship and happiness. I don't mean these fuckers in fedoras and $100 steaks. How we can condemn them for wanting the same things (rewards) we do, for acting a little less worse than we do? You portray yourself as nice, courteous, compassionate, particularly to people you want as friends or more. You're not faking it. Why are you such a terrible human being?

I understand why people feel how they feel. I just wish they didn't. People. Complicated. Yeah. I'm going for reals now.

 

[Instro]

Reads like fan fiction from someone who has never been on a date or had any meaningful interactions with other people. All of these supposed nice guys are never self aware enough to know that their problems aren't because they are "nice guys".

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

But we're not. Seeing as how often some of us shit on nice folk. And we want things. We want companionship and happiness. I don't mean these fuckers in fedoras and $100 steaks. How we can condemn them for wanting the same things (rewards) we do, for acting a little less worse than we do? You portray yourself as nice, courteous, compassionate, particularly to people you want as friends or more. You're not faking it. Why are you such a terrible human being?

I understand why people feel how they feel. I just wish they didn't. People. Complicated. Yeah. I'm going for reals now.

You're taking personal offense to what people say about other people who have co-opted the title you choose for yourself.

 

[Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew]

The author who write that piece, is sort of imagining himself being Good Guy Cena, except the good looks and great bod

Holy shit. What happened in this gif? Lol

 

[Chairmanchuck]

Reads like fan fiction from someone who has never been on a date or had any meaningful interactions with other people. All of these supposed nice guys are never self aware enough to know that their problems aren't because they are "nice guys".

"Let me show you my Yu Gi Oh collection!"

I know people like this personally. Just go to a convention and there are people whining about how nice they are but cant seem to find a gf. Not really helping that they smell like they didnt take a shower for several weeks, are "obsessed" with some hobby, but seriously dont know much about it and dont have any other kind of hobby.

 

[AyaisMUsikWhore]

Thank you for the excellent response. I've seen a lot knee-jerk responses that generalize that all guys who claim to be nice are just trying to rationalize the fact that they are unattractive. My only issue is with hypocritical women who date mean, albeit exciting guys and then complain that they won't grow up or that they are jerks. I say just own whatever your decision is. If you're young and you want to have fun, date whoever excites you and don't apologize. But own your decision; don't complain about these exciting bad boys when they treat you like shit like you've somehow been wronged. It's your decision to date them.

That's where guys get frustrated. If a women freely decides to date some scamp and then doesn't own her decision and acts wronged. It goes the other way too with guys who date hot, crazy girls and act like a victim when she starts shit.

I think that's the guy perspective of it all. Some guys think being the nice guy, as you said, is to rationalize for their bad looks. That's simply not exactly true. The answer is really this, women are mostly attractive to confidence. The ugliest guys sometimes have the prettiest women. We have all seen this in our daily lives. However the reason why she dates him is because he basically "feeling himself" and she doesn't have to worry about carrying him over her shoulder. There are some women who like pets though lol, but I won't get into that.

I'd say though, women will always complain about who they are in a relationship with even you. I think we all know the dangers we signed up for, we just can't help but to talk about it.

Yeah but sometimes those guys can go in reverse like you say, and then are jaded or turned asshole by bitterness. It is kind of sad, and I honestly can see a lot of where they would be coming from. When I would date I wouldn't ever be friendzoned/turned fedora, but I was definitely not "a bad boy". Having a father who was a legit bad boy and frankly an abusive piece of shit to women, I never ever saw the "sexiness" in it. Same with alcohol (but that's another story and step parent). And in my experience I want nothing to do with ex's that went for the bad boys back then and want "stability" now, they can (kindly) go pound some sand. Now if I met some girl that had a past well I guess that's whatever I guess, looking back I will have missed not really sowing my oats in my 20s though, since it seems like everyone else did.

Not all bad boys are disrespectful to women though. Being "bad" doesn't mean POS. That's how some misrepresent it. It's mostly a lifestyle. Ive seen the toughest of nails guys, act like the sweetest thing ever, but the reason why is because as long as he has his partner in crime with him, they can be bad forever. He doesn't treat her wrong, but he will make sure no one else with. That confidence right there, that security she feels when she with him, that everything they been through together, that's what matters to her.

Don't get me wrong, I think calling back a previous date 10 years later to settle down with is all kinds of bad, but you got to give her some credit. She remembered you for who you really was as the "nice guy" who could give her the life she wanted later on. In that case, you weren't just a POS for her but someone she was considering for the right time. Unfortunately, her time isn't your time.

I don't think I've ever had a preference for jerks. It just happens that ALL men are jerks if they ever reach a point where they want to break up with you. :/

I like fun, active, interesting men. A lot of the girls I know who go after jerks do it because they don't see that being a jerk isn't synonymous with being confident, sexy, interesting, fun, etc. A lot of young women are also *shock* insecure and unsure of themselves. If you don't have an appreciation for what you're worth it isn't unusual for you to end up with people (in general, not even just guys) who under value you. Which just sort of perpetuates the whole thing.

I disagree somewhat with the whole settle down and have babies argument. I think with maturity comes self acceptance and respect. With those things you're in a much better state of mind to end up with someone you connect with on a meaningful level.

I'm still young so maybe this will change, but screw having babies. Pregnancy sounds like a pain in the ass. I'd much rather be a big sister/aunt. The reason I don't target jerk is because I've been brought up to avoid people who make me feel like shit.

Contrary to what I'm saying, I am completely opposite as well. I don't want to have kids, and will never EVER settle down with a guy like OP. From the bat he has expectations that I will and probably would never want from him now or ever. And to add to that, I pride myself on being an independent women so I don't need his ass to pick up my pieces or my baggage. Maybe that girl was really foolish but I will never give the opportunity for a dude like this to even have a paragraph of that much stuff to say about me because he's bitter I rejected him.

You bring up a good point though. I absolutely hate the "I can't get no better" syndrome some women fall into. Sometimes, there will be a good man standing right in front of their face but instead they will continue to fall for someone who will treat them like shit for the rest of their lives because of standards and the other BS. That right there irks me to no end. Some women degrade themselves and lose self respect for themselves to be with men who continue to be that way, and that is one side of me I can't defend. Those are just dumb _____.

You make an excellent point. To expand on it some though and frame it in a way where it isn't built around the idea of a dramatic, unhealthy relationship full of cheating:

I think many of these 'nice guys' aren't nearly as nice as they think. They're actually very bland due to the fact that they lack confidence and the ability to express their emotions properly through words, body language, and actions.

Many women not only want a man that will challenge or make them think (very important none the less), but also one that can empathize and share emotions in a healthy way. Doing so takes a tremendous amount of confidence and is much easier said than done. Opening a door is not an expression of feelings. It's a dated curtsy. Many of these 'fedora' type men are incredibly cold and shut off. That in of itself is a major lack of confidence and it's why many women find themselves not attracted to them. They have no ability to just be open, say how they feel, share what they're about, etc. What sounds more intimate. A date to a five star restaurant where the man holds every door and pays or a walk through a neighborhood said man grew up in while walking dogs together? One is far more personal and intimate. When 'fedora' guys often try to express how they feel it comes out incredibly strange because they don't understand boundaries. Just read some threads on here when guys try to ask a girl out, it's crazy.

Holding doors and buying dinner wont build you a relationship. Being completely confident in who you are and being able to express it with boundaries through words and actions will. Showing her how you feel by being open with her about yourself, passions, and feelings. Those are the things that will help you find a woman that loves you. Not passively doing favors with zero openness or expression.

Thank you. This Yes.

Just reading the OP again, he goes on about all these things he did, but assumed, or expected that she was suppose to be kind to it. He went into full entitlement mode as if all he did was suppose to be rewarded with a kiss, some good sex, and become his next wife just because he bought dinner and open some doors. Oh please!

His problem started the minute he "went all out to impress her" with his traditional cheesy gestures. Women aren't immediately impressed by the things that they expect you to do for just that second, tomorrow and for the rest of their lives. They want challenge, they want spontaneous. He was just boring and instead of highlighting that issue about himself, he went on a full rant about her. And even worst, now because he feels like he got some money, he is suddenly better than her? Haha

What i find funny is, if he knew she was texting her ex, why didn't he say something about it? Why didn't he showcase his confidence by basically showing her why he's better, like idk, taking her phone away, or even telling her he knows who she's talking to and dominate the whole date taking away the other guy's power. He lost plain and simple because he himself, wasn't confident in himself to get the job done.

 

[Winterfang]

Shouldn't had read this thread before going to sleep. I just had a nightmare about some guy that though I was Bi and got a crush on me and started to be super creepy and then confesed. When I told him I was straight he got angry and started talking shit about me all over work. Never woke up more relieved Hahaha