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[Dai101]

I think we found the author of the article.

I knew it has to be a user of this forum.

 

[Count Dookkake]

There's a lot of vindictive posts in this thread. I think its coming from people who are frustrated persuing a relationship that is not reciprocated. Rather than ranting on and on about what that girl (or girls in general) should be interested in, 'nice guys' should focus more on finding girls that actually interested in him. Let those girls persue their own interests for better or worse.

BUT I WANT A YOUNG PRETTY GIRL!!!

WHY WON'T SHE LIKE ME FOR ME???

 

[MogCakes]

BUT I WANT A YOUNG PRETTY GIRL!!!

WHY WON'T SHE LIKE ME FOR ME???

The irony: young people are the least likely to settle down and want a stable relationship.

 

[Stinkles]

But in Chinese does it mean "uneaten food"?

I don't care lol

 

[Mesoian]

Oh boy you guys...

http://www.complex.com/tech/2014/04/tinder-instagram

Super Super Super NSFW.

See guys, when people say, "she doesn't like nice guys, she only wants to date assholes," this is why that's a lie. This right here is why its dramatically unappealing to be that childish asshole after you've grown up. You're not a nice guy, you're just thirsty. I guess we could say those are the two ends of the spectrum.

 

[Random Painted HIghway]

Having rules or guidelines about who you allow yourself to consider dating is so incredibly short-sighted and dumb. The idea that you'd disregard someone who you'd really connect with because she's "too old" or has had too many partners in the past is about the silliest thing I've ever heard.

I would think not having standards in who you would consider dating to be more of the outlier.

 

[APF]

I would think not having standards in who you would consider dating to be more of the outlier.

So your "standard" is not dating someone > 5 years older. You meet someone 6 years older and you have amazing chemistry. You don't decide to pursue the relationship because, well, standards. If this describes someone IRL they're being silly.

 

[Mesoian]

I would think not having standards in who you would consider dating to be more of the outlier.

Indeed. Gotta have a healthy mixture of both. A lot of people (myself included) find themselves alone because their standards are too narrow. There's nothing wrong with broadening your horizons while still keeping a firm grasp on what you want or don't want in a SO.

 

[Kabuki Quantum Lover]

Oh boy you guys...

http://www.complex.com/tech/2014/04/tinder-instagram

Super Super Super NSFW.

See guys, when people say, "she doesn't like nice guys, she only wants to date assholes," this is why that's a lie. This right here is why its dramatically unappealing to be that childish asshole after you've grown up. You're not a nice guy, you're just thirsty. I guess we could say those are the two ends of the spectrum.

Isn't that one of the expectations of Tinder, though? Not excusing the behaviour, but when Tinder was first described to me, it sounded like Grindr for straight people.

 

[Particle Physicist]

Yeah lol, "I'm a nice guy but fuck, 30 year olds are decrepit"

The guy clearly has never seen a naked woman in person. lol

 

[Mesoian]

Isn't that one of the expectations of Tinder, though? Not excusing the behaviour, but when Tinder was first described to me, it sounded like Grindr for straight people.

Let's put it this way.

Even when you're looking to set up a booty call, you don't walk up to a girl and say "I want to dick punch your baby factory." Subtly still goes a long way, even on a program specifically created for people to hook up and have fairly meaningless emotionless sex.

And god help people using Tindr as a full on dating service.

 

[AyaisMUsikWhore]

This is garbage.

I'm so tired of people painting men one of only two colors. It's always either they're a nice guy or an asshole. What I don't get is why threads like these devolve into criticizing one or the other when either label cannot define all of one gender. Yes, you can find a gentlemen with drama. Yes you can find a stable guy who treats you like shit. There is a middle ground that always get ignored.

Generally speaking I don't believe girls actively pursue someone because he is an asshole. They're attractive to the traits you mentioned but that doesn't make them assholes. If they are shit heads then that's just another trait.

This isn't garbage and if you read the last line you would understand what I am saying.

This isn't the only type of guy women want. But all in all, to put it in a more general word, Women like men with CONFIDENCE. Women are attracted to that and those personality traits run deep in men who sometimes do act like a jerk or an ass sometimes.

Being an asshole also doesn't mean treating women disrespectfully. Sometimes it's just doing fucked up shit like not picking her up from work or even saying something like "Are you done yet" after a heated argument.

There are “nice guys“ who are both exciting and fun and full of life, drama and the such, however this discussion is about OP who pretty much blanketed all nice guys in this brush by using his disgusting realization to relate it to the rest. No, what he lacked in, he didn't need to dog her the fuck out because he couldn't do it right.

 

[Karkador]

Post didn't describe it very well but I understand the underlying sentiment. I was never a dork, captain of my basketball team in high school and was a scholarship basketball player , but I always focused on school and my schedule was busy. Was tall and in shape and moderately attractive but shy because I spent so much time ballin or studying. Women were attracted to me but just not the ones I wanted. Consequently, I lost my virginity in college and only really dated one girl throughout college. Fast forward 6 years and my career as an attorney is coming together and I'm making money and I have my pick of women right now. I'm the same guy, but my bank account is bigger and peoples priorities change as they get older. A lot of times I want nothing to do with these women because they either don't have their stuff together, are too old(at 28 why would I date a 30 year old aging shrew, unconsciously falling in love is different but I'm not gonna seek that out) or their slutty past is a turn off to me because it's just something I can't relate to or respect in my partner. So yea, I don't want that same girl in hs that everyone said was really pretty and made tons of bad decisions now that I have made good ones...I'm out of her league. It is that simple. If I was a different person I'd entertain it, use her for a quick lay and keep it moving but I'm not that type of guy.

I think most other people in this thread will forgive me for doing this: I am calling bullshit on this post.

You don't have your "pick of women right now". You're having trouble finding someone; it's not others having trouble finding you. Your cut-off age of 30 isn't some bullshit about " aging shrews", it's that you're intimidated by women who you perceive might have had a better social life and sex life than you. The age is just an arbitrary cut-off point, but even then- you're 28 FFS, it's not like you're far behind in age to the ladies in their 30s.

You can keep convincing yourself throughout your life that you're making good decisions, because you were athletic and studious and now have a nice job, but that isn't and never did make up for you not having much of a personality that anyone wants to be around.

Finally, the line about you not using a girl for a quick lay "because you're not that type of guy" is the part that reeks the most of bullshit and living in denial. Maybe the day you stop thinking of yourself as 2good4u to grace some plebian with your divine penis is the day that you also perhaps start enjoying life and find someone who finds your newfound personality contagious enough to see you more than once.

 

[……forgetit]

Having rules or guidelines about who you allow yourself to consider dating is so incredibly short-sighted and dumb. The idea that you'd disregard someone who you'd really connect with because she's "too old" or has had too many partners in the past is about the silliest thing I've ever heard.

What? I mean I'm all for open mindedness but you can't be in a relationship with someone you're not attracted to. The word I use for girls I connect with but have no attraction to is "friends."

 

[Mesoian]

(at 28 why would I date a 30 year old aging shrew, unconsciously falling in love is different but I'm not gonna seek that out)

I was with you until this.

Brave face you're putting up, but naw son. Naw.

Being an asshole also doesn't mean treating women disrespectfully. Sometimes it's just doing fucked up shit like not picking her up from work or even saying something like "Are you done yet" after a heated argument.

 

[animus82]

Sad and petty it seems like.

 

[Haly]

ether

 

[Random Painted HIghway]

So your "standard" is not dating someone > 5 years older. You meet someone 6 years older and you have amazing chemistry. You don't decide to pursue the relationship because, well, standards. If this describes someone IRL they're being silly.

I would imagine that if one had an issue with an excessive age difference they would not spend the time to develop that chemistry in the first place.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

Oh boy you guys...

http://www.complex.com/tech/2014/04/tinder-instagram

Super Super Super NSFW.

See guys, when people say, "she doesn't like nice guys, she only wants to date assholes," this is why that's a lie. This right here is why its dramatically unappealing to be that childish asshole after you've grown up. You're not a nice guy, you're just thirsty. I guess we could say those are the two ends of the spectrum.

But you have to imagine that there are a lot of guys who are successful with that same lack of tact. Tinder is more of a hookup app than a dating app after all.

 

[sikma42]

I think most other people in this thread will forgive me for doing this: I am calling bullshit on this post.

You don't have your "pick of women right now". You're having trouble finding someone; it's not others having trouble finding you. Your cut-off age of 30 isn't some bullshit about " aging shrews", it's that you're intimidated by women who you perceive might have had a better social life and sex life than you. The age is just an arbitrary cut-off point, but even then- you're 28 FFS, it's not like you're far behind in age to the ladies in their 30s.

You can keep convincing yourself throughout your life that you're making good decisions, because you were athletic and studious and now have a nice job, but that isn't and never did make up for you not having much of a personality that anyone wants to be around.

Finally, the line about you not using a girl for a quick lay "because you're not that type of guy" is the part that reeks the most of bullshit and living in denial. Maybe the day you stop thinking of yourself as 2good4u to grace some plebian with your divine penis is the day that you also perhaps start enjoying life and find someone who finds your newfound personality contagious enough to see you more than once.

I just got out of a 4 year relationship that wasn't gonna work long-term. I'm not having trouble finding anyone, I'm not looking.

And if I'm coming off like the rest of your post suggests then it is merely me not expressing myself clearly.

But, its too difficult to respond to all of these erroneous characterizations.

 

[Random Painted HIghway]

Indeed. Gotta have a healthy mixture of both. A lot of people (myself included) find themselves alone because their standards are too narrow. There's nothing wrong with broadening your horizons while still keeping a firm grasp on what you want or don't want in a SO.

I have definitely seen both males and females hit 30 lonely due to standards that are not realistic.

 

[Kabuki Quantum Lover]

Let's put it this way.

Even when you're looking to set up a booty call, you don't walk up to a girl and say "I want to dick punch your baby factory." Subtly still goes a long way, even on a program specifically created for people to hook up and have fairly meaningless emotionless sex.

And god help people using Tindr as a full on dating service.

Absolutely. I agree. Men are vile.

Made a fake account on a dating site once. Used the photo of a plain looking girl, put unattractive characteristics (including a deathly fear of escalators and a whole bunch of anti-this and pro-that), and still received some terrible messages from men. Some sleazy, some trying to be cute, all of them desperate for some action. I deactivated the account due to the amount of traffic it attracted (not crazy, but enough to annoy me).

I can't even imagine what a real woman receives.

 

[Mesoian]

But you have to imagine that there are a lot of guys who are successful with that same lack of tact. Tinder is more of a hookup app than a dating app after all.

I would be genuinely surprised.

 

[AyaisMUsikWhore]

I was with you until this.

Brave face you're putting up, but naw son. Naw.

You'd be surprised at how many girls I know that absolutely hate that shit. It's just like the asking thing. If you don't ask what's wrong with her, you're being inconsiderate and selfish. Some girls make a big deal out of even the little stuff and sometimes, you are an asshole for it.

 

[APF]

What? I mean I'm all for open mindedness but you can't be in a relationship with someone you're not attracted to. The word I use for girls I connect with but have no attraction to is "friends."

Which is fine, but it has nothing to do with what I'm saying.

 

[Trouble]

Fedora is starting to be accepted as an alternative to "entitled nice guy".

How does GAF feel about deerstalker caps? When worn by a human, not a horse, of course.

 

[Dai101]

How does GAF feel about deerstalker caps? When worn by a human, not a horse, of course.

Not fond of them. Specially not when worn by a horse.

 

[sooperkool]

Not at all germaine to the discussion but.....


http://imgur.com/user/nothinbutcabbage/favorites/xVTi4

 

[esterk]

Great joke, 5/5 would read ag--

Wait, not joke? Never change, fedoras.

 

[Wiktor]

So your "standard" is not dating someone > 5 years older. You meet someone 6 years older and you have amazing chemistry. You don't decide to pursue the relationship because, well, standards. If this describes someone IRL they're being silly.

Yeah, it's all about how well you connect to a person, not any hard set criteria. It's not just older women, plenty of good guys avoid dating a girl 10-12 years younger because they think it would be weird, while in reality sometimes it work wonderfully. But you will never know unless you try.

 

[Karkador]

I just got out of a 4 year relationship that wasn't gonna work long-term. I'm not having trouble finding anyone, I'm not looking.

And if I'm coming off like the rest of your post suggests then it is merely me not expressing myself clearly.

But, its too difficult to respond to all of these erroneous characterizations.

It's fine if you don't want to date. It's even fine if you're just smoothing the gap over in your mind by thinking "I can't have it, so I don't want it anyway". Just don't rationalize it with these bullshit narratives about other people being beneath you.

 

[andycapps]

Awesome thread title change. Reminds me of the other day, my wife was showing me some fedora and saying how I need to get it. No way am I ever wearing a fedora.

 

[freenudemacusers]

Lol @ 30 being too old when you are 28. Never change. Have a kick ass summer.

i'm too old for sikma42

 

[Wiktor]

Awesome thread title change. Reminds me of the other day, my wife was showing me some fedora and saying how I need to get it. No way am I ever wearing a fedora.

It's a clever tactic. She wants to ensure no other woman will ever find you attractive. Some wives make their husbands fat to achieve this, be glad yours contained herself to fedora suggestion.

 

[perfectchaos007]

If fedoras fade, I wonder what kind of hat will take off next. I bet newsboys could make a comeback as they were popularized in the same era as fedoras.

 

[Alcoremortis]

Post didn't describe it very well but I understand the underlying sentiment. I was never a dork, captain of my basketball team in high school and was a scholarship basketball player , but I always focused on school and my schedule was busy. Was tall and in shape and moderately attractive but shy because I spent so much time ballin or studying. Women were attracted to me but just not the ones I wanted. Consequently, I lost my virginity in college and only really dated one girl throughout college. Fast forward 6 years and my career as an attorney is coming together and I'm making money and I have my pick of women right now. I'm the same guy, but my bank account is bigger and peoples priorities change as they get older. A lot of times I want nothing to do with these women because they either don't have their stuff together, are too old(at 28 why would I date a 30 year old aging shrew, unconsciously falling in love is different but I'm not gonna seek that out) or their slutty past is a turn off to me because it's just something I can't relate to or respect in my partner. So yea, I don't want that same girl in hs that everyone said was really pretty and made tons of bad decisions now that I have made good ones...I'm out of her league. It is that simple. If I was a different person I'd entertain it, use her for a quick lay and keep it moving but I'm not that type of guy.

Fifty years old. How old, such decrepit.

 

[sikma42]

It's fine if you don't want to date. It's even fine if you're just smoothing the gap over in your mind by thinking "I can't have it, so I don't want it anyway". Just don't rationalize it with these bullshit narratives about other people being beneath you.

when did I say that anyone was beneath me? So anyone you aren't attracted to is considered beneath you? you seem to making tons of unwarranted assumptions and leaps...

And I've literally been single for about 2 weeks after a long 4 year relationship. That isn't a rationalization, that is taking a normal amount of time to get right after a long passionate relationship with a great person.

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

Lol @ 30 being too old when you are 28. Never change. Have a kick ass summer.

Agreed.

I'm 28 (well I will be on Sunday) and my girlfriend is 30. It's fantastic, she's extremely attractive and likely reading this as she creeps on my Gaf posts. (It's true though, she's awesome).

Limiting based on age is dumb, especially when that age is only 2 years. At 10 years apart I'd be a bit more likely to raise an eyebrow, but fuck it. If you find someone amazing stay with them no matter how much older or younger you are than them, I am.

 

[Damaniel]

I'm sick of this moaning "I'm a nice guy why does the woman always pick the bad guy crap"
I'm a nice guy, I have had major relationships and I'm in a great one now.
I have never seen me being nice as a block to getting women I've spoken to over the years.
If you are not getting girls and think you are a nice guy then the newsflash is that there us something about yourself that you need to change. The desperate route never works and being clingy and needy is a turn off as well.
Guy has serious issues of superiority. I reckon in his 40s he will still be alone, blaming the girl for rejection so long ago. He needs to grow up and man up.

That's probably because you're a nice guy, not a 'nice guy'. The former is a person who's legitimately nice out of a true caring for fellow humans. These people generally don't have an issue getting into (and staying in) relationships. The latter are socially awkward people who really just want to bang a 10, and figure the easiest way to do it is to pretend to be nice. In other words, they're the exact opposite of nice - they're just manipulative bastards who see women as nothing but objects to fuck and who are looking to score way out of their league (and feel that the world owes it to them).

There are lots of nice people in the world - the 'nice guys' are not among them.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

I would be genuinely surprised.

The "get the pipe" line is a word for word recreation of an actual text sent by the Knicks' JR Smith. Tattooed, braindead athletes like JR and the not so lucky subjects of that Instagram artist are the kind of guys that "nice guys" are heated at, because that kind of crass objectification does work to pick up girls who are just dtf.

The internet nice guy defines himself as the antithesis to this behavior, rather than being inherently interesting himself.

Edit: Being over 30 myself, I can understand not wanting to date older. I'm certainly attracted to women older than I am, and I would date them casually, but the complications with kids is a pretty big hangup for long term prospects.

 

[FallingEdge]

when did I say that anyone was beneath me? So anyone you aren't attracted to is considered beneath you? you seem to making tons of unwarranted assumptions and leaps...

And I've literally been single for about 2 weeks after a long 4 year relationship. That isn't a rationalization, that is taking a normal amount of time to get right after a long passionate relationship with a great person.

So she turned 30 two weeks ago? Damn. Sorry for your loss.

 

[royalan]

when did I say that anyone was beneath me? So anyone you aren't attracted to is considered beneath you? you seem to making tons of unwarranted assumptions and leaps...

And I've literally been single for about 2 weeks after a long 4 year relationship. That isn't a rationalization, that is taking a normal amount of time to get right after a long passionate relationship with a great person.

The entire problem with your posts is that you're insulting anyone you're not attracted to as though there's something wrong with them or they're beneath you. Someone just a few years older than you isn't just old, they're "decrepit." Girls with sexual histories are "sluts" who've had more dicks in them than a Randy Blue studio. A woman who's not at your level financially clearly doesn't have their life together, is financially irresponsible, and looking to you to "subsidize" them.

Your posts have been very judgmental and assholish. It's OK to not be attracted to someone. It's even OK to think that someone's not at an acceptable point in their lives for you to want a relationship with them. But you don't have to justify that by talking down to those people as though there's something wrong with them or that they've somehow failed at life because they don't meet your romantic standards. Only dicks do that. Are you a dick?

 

[Mesoian]

You'd be surprised at how many girls I know that absolutely hate that shit. It's just like the asking thing. If you don't ask what's wrong with her, you're being inconsiderate and selfish. Some girls make a big deal out of even the little stuff and sometimes, you are an asshole for it.

I think this is more of a "The fundimental differences between men and women" thing than a nice guys versus assholes thing.

 

[Shinta]

But you don't have to justify that by talking down to those people as though there's something wrong with them or that they've somehow failed at life because they don't meet your romantic standards

I thought that was literally the entire point of this thread.

 

[Ithil]

It doesn't read like he's a very nice guy at all.

 

[blame space]

yeah, in fact he comes off as kinda rude!

 

[mattiewheels]

Can't be real, but he does a really good job of channeling that mentality. But yeah, reads like some guy just having a laugh.

 

[andycapps]

It's a clever tactic. She wants to ensure no other woman will ever find you attractive. Some wives make their husbands fat to achieve this, be glad yours contained herself to fedora suggestion.

Haha that's a theory. It was one of those trendy fedora like hats, not gonna say it was just like Pharrell's Canadian Mounty style hat but reminded me of that.

 

[Frankenstrat]

Boy, sure is ornery and bitter for such a nice guy. I'm sure it's not his fault though, it's all those damned women!!1!

I know it's probably not real, but it reads so similarly to other stuff written by these "nice guys".

 

[Lime]

Relevant for the "Nice Guys" out there: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2014/04/23/benjamin-franklin-effect-love/

Make sure you allow room in the relationship for the other person to also give it back and invest in you. So maybe don’t insist on paying the bill every time or driving to their place every time. Give them a shot to invest and put just as much into it as you do. Whether you’re trying to get into a relationship or deeper into a long-term one, give your partner a chance to contribute to it.

Video here: http://youtu.be/eMsxYztfrvA