-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
- Status
I think either Zackie or Diaboli should make the new thread, tbh. Zackie posts the most and Diaboli's, like, good at giving advice. They can be the Batman and Robin of Dating GAF
Oh yeah absolutely. To be honest I can imagine it's actually annoying to get that many messages.
I was trying to have 5 conversations at the same time earlier and it was actually pissing me off, I had to ignore 3 of them in the end.
The thing is I focus on the ones that don't reply lol (I'm negative like that)
I'd have loved to be over 6ft, that's something I wouldn't get surgery for.
I'm sure I've heard about inserting things in your legs to extend your height a few inches lol Think it's metal plates or something
I don't really know what's normal or not. I know they defintely got the message because I then saw them in my viewed me list
My sweet summer child. At least you're good looking.
Edit: Are you like John Hamm's 30 Rock character or something?
Thanks lol
On another note a couple of people asked me if I was "catfish". So I had to take a few selfies with their name on a bit of paper.
I said to them if I was gonna be a catfish I'd say i was 6ft and use someone put David Gandy's photos or something.
Oh and that "meet me" is a waste of time, someone clicks yes, I message them and they don't reply. They must just swipe yes on every user or something lol
Yeah honestly, that sounds about right.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
... which one of us is Batman? Which one of us is Robin?
Who's the Barbara Gordon that we creepily share?
Also, I'm down with helping. I like spouting ideas. Also, I know you just said that because Zackie and I are old AF.
ZackieChan
Member
... which one of us is Batman? Which one of us is Robin?Who's the Barbara Gordon that we creepily share?
Also, I'm down with helping. I like spouting ideas. Also, I know you just said that because Zackie and I are old AF.
We're more like Battfleck and Nightwing
The epic saga of me and my ex came to a final close with an exchange of clothing and toys we each had. Easily the most confusing and frustrating relationship of my life as it felt like we both wanted things to work but there was always something wrong.
Had ~100 likes on my OKC from the last month and a Tinder but went and deleted them both, figured it'd be good to take a break &come back when I got the drive to respond with something other than small talk. Got some #'s but keep messing up that step, been really busy and either had to cancel plans or people wouldn't respond to the usual.
I'm wondering is there any sort of formatting guides for profiles? Don't think I was doing badly but always feel it could be better. And after you start texting what do you guys do conversationally? Trying to avoid asking 'what's up?' or some variation of that so often.
Had ~100 likes on my OKC from the last month and a Tinder but went and deleted them both, figured it'd be good to take a break &come back when I got the drive to respond with something other than small talk. Got some #'s but keep messing up that step, been really busy and either had to cancel plans or people wouldn't respond to the usual.
I'm wondering is there any sort of formatting guides for profiles? Don't think I was doing badly but always feel it could be better. And after you start texting what do you guys do conversationally? Trying to avoid asking 'what's up?' or some variation of that so often.
Kill Your Masters
Member
Fucking hell.
So I saw my ex (of a couple of months, so maybe I should classify it as "seeing someone") at a party a few weeks ago, and handled the situation perfectly. Was afraid some feels will come back but didn't. Thought the case is closed. Now she starts texting me again.
And I just started seeing someone new a few weeks ago, and its going quite well, its still casual. But she's 9 years younger than me (22) so its sort of weird to me as I mostly dated ppl 3-4 years younger than me. But no deal breaker, I'm having fun.
Thing is, I felt more of a connection with the previous one, and we have way more in common, but I acted needy and was too available yadayada, so she backed off. I definitely realized my mistakes and improved on myself in every single way, so this crap wont happen again. (partially also thanks to Dating GAF for recommending Mark Mansons Models, good stuff!)
I am aware its not a good idea to go back to someone who dumped/ghosted you, but I would lie if I would say I wouldn't maybe try it again.
And I have a exam on Monday, and this shit ain't helping concentrate lol.
So I saw my ex (of a couple of months, so maybe I should classify it as "seeing someone") at a party a few weeks ago, and handled the situation perfectly. Was afraid some feels will come back but didn't. Thought the case is closed. Now she starts texting me again.
And I just started seeing someone new a few weeks ago, and its going quite well, its still casual. But she's 9 years younger than me (22) so its sort of weird to me as I mostly dated ppl 3-4 years younger than me. But no deal breaker, I'm having fun.
Thing is, I felt more of a connection with the previous one, and we have way more in common, but I acted needy and was too available yadayada, so she backed off. I definitely realized my mistakes and improved on myself in every single way, so this crap wont happen again. (partially also thanks to Dating GAF for recommending Mark Mansons Models, good stuff!)
I am aware its not a good idea to go back to someone who dumped/ghosted you, but I would lie if I would say I wouldn't maybe try it again.
And I have a exam on Monday, and this shit ain't helping concentrate lol.
... which one of us is Batman? Which one of us is Robin?Who's the Barbara Gordon that we creepily share?
Also, I'm down with helping. I like spouting ideas. Also, I know you just said that because Zackie and I are old AF.
Vern can be Barbara.
On a slightly more serious note, I don't mind helping, I just can't really make the OP myself because I don't really have the time to draft the whole thing up
Gotdatmoney
Member
Am 6'5". Can cofirm. Literally beating the women off with a stick. Shits dangerous fam. You don't want this.
The height helps but its not gonna kill any real chances. Keep at it
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
So generally I never need advice on first meet ups. You guys know I end up causing problems on later dates.......
But I need advice for tonight. This girl loves to dance, and I don't know how to dance at all, except for the dice move from Knocked Up. I don't want to be that guy who stands in the corner holding a beer while she dances away. What should I do? Just suck it up and move a little dancing with her? What should I say? I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid about me not dancing. Or I could just not say anything at all and go with the flow?
But I need advice for tonight. This girl loves to dance, and I don't know how to dance at all, except for the dice move from Knocked Up. I don't want to be that guy who stands in the corner holding a beer while she dances away. What should I do? Just suck it up and move a little dancing with her? What should I say? I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid about me not dancing. Or I could just not say anything at all and go with the flow?
Just get in there and dance. Have you seen people dance? Most just shake around in one place doing the same shit to every song. You're not gonna embarrass yourself.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Yeah. A few drinks in me to mellow out and I should be fine.
Edit-my bad. This'll be our second meet up.
Edit-my bad. This'll be our second meet up.
Vern can be Barbara.
On a slightly more serious note, I don't mind helping, I just can't really make the OP myself because I don't really have the time to draft the whole thing up
I
didn't
I can help too. But I can't lead the charge. I'm too busy dating 😏
As someone who hated dancing for the longest time, just do whatever. No one cares if you're bad, they're more likely to judge you if you don't even try. If you're really desperate, just do something dumb like dusting your shoulders. It is so ridiculous that it is foolproof and shows you don't take yourself too seriously and can have fun.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Signed up for Tinder again after 4 months last night, was again having 7-8 small talk chats at once, felt my brain melt going through it. App removed again.
ZackieChan
Member
What's the problem? Maybe chat less and meet more?
Bruce Springsteen
Member
I agree, I guess I just had no patience to go through the repeated topics over text to get to the meet.
PhantomZone
Member
How is one supposed to feel when they learn an ex has moved on to the next phase of their life and it being something you discussed as a couple ?
Found out she is pregnant and expecting a baby later in the year. I'm just shocked that after a big speech of needing to find herself and discover who she is, she's either
a) hooked up with someone and a pregnancy has emerged.
b) she immediately met someone new and formed a relationship after cheating and dumping me (perhaps with the guy she cheated on me with, despite her telling me it was a mistake and she hates him!)
c) she crawled back to the person she was dating prior to me
Everyone told me after breaking up that I dodged a bullet as she was not quite right. But with her expecting, I'm bummed that she's undertaking something that we both had discussed and were planning on doing ourselves.
Ultimately I just need to let it goooooooo let it gooooooooo haha.
Found out she is pregnant and expecting a baby later in the year. I'm just shocked that after a big speech of needing to find herself and discover who she is, she's either
a) hooked up with someone and a pregnancy has emerged.
b) she immediately met someone new and formed a relationship after cheating and dumping me (perhaps with the guy she cheated on me with, despite her telling me it was a mistake and she hates him!)
c) she crawled back to the person she was dating prior to me
Everyone told me after breaking up that I dodged a bullet as she was not quite right. But with her expecting, I'm bummed that she's undertaking something that we both had discussed and were planning on doing ourselves.
Ultimately I just need to let it goooooooo let it gooooooooo haha.
See you ask how you're supposed to feel, but the fact is you're not supposed to be learning this stuff in the first place. How did you find that out? Take her off social media, and if someone is telling you this stuff, tell them you don't wanna hear it.
PhantomZone
Member
Not on social media or the internet but I've already given the person that told me a stern talking to!
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well I think it went really well. I mean I was two steppin, but honestly I don't think I was bad. We were grinding on each other, and kissing. Then she danced with another girl while the dude and I talked. I gave him my number for some reason. He did buy me a beer.
But it was fun, and she wants to see me again for a third time.
I think I do good for the most part. Women like me. My problem is I'm thrown in certain circumstances that I'm not used to, and I don't know what to do.
But I'll continue to see her again, and just have fun. If it leads to us being mutual, then good.
In the meantime m seeing another girl tomorrow night, and another on Monday night.
But it was fun, and she wants to see me again for a third time.
I think I do good for the most part. Women like me. My problem is I'm thrown in certain circumstances that I'm not used to, and I don't know what to do.
But I'll continue to see her again, and just have fun. If it leads to us being mutual, then good.
In the meantime m seeing another girl tomorrow night, and another on Monday night.
Second time having sex with this girl, still unable to finish. Don't even seem to be getting fully erect. I'm most worried that it's my psyche telling me that I'm not attracted to this girl, that she doesn't turn me on, as typically finishing isn't a problem. But there's so many other factors that I don't know what to do...
She mentioned its damn near impossible for someone else to get her off, and I consider myself an empath. How much is the lack of her energy affecting me? Is this just first time anxiety that's been discussed earlier? She mainly likes to go during the morning, and I am not a morning person; I'm dehydrated, hungry, and a little groggy. Or maybe it's just a few months-long dry spell that's left me too comfortable with porn, my own touch, and not using condoms?
I'm going to search for a therapist tomorrow (not just for this. I gots lots of other issues) but I'd still like to ask - at what point do you figure you're just sexually incompatible with someone?
She mentioned its damn near impossible for someone else to get her off, and I consider myself an empath. How much is the lack of her energy affecting me? Is this just first time anxiety that's been discussed earlier? She mainly likes to go during the morning, and I am not a morning person; I'm dehydrated, hungry, and a little groggy. Or maybe it's just a few months-long dry spell that's left me too comfortable with porn, my own touch, and not using condoms?
I'm going to search for a therapist tomorrow (not just for this. I gots lots of other issues) but I'd still like to ask - at what point do you figure you're just sexually incompatible with someone?
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Sorry to hear. Is there anything like kissing or grinding that turns you on and can get erect?
How much porn and masturbation do you do a week? May want to cut back on it and try again.
How much porn and masturbation do you do a week? May want to cut back on it and try again.
It's not so much I can't get erect, but that I'm not getting fully erect. Erect enough that I can enter her, not enough that it does anything for either of us, if that makes sense.
Before June, jacking off was a lot more frequent...~5 time a week. For the last two months, I've scaled down a lot, to about once or twice a week, precisely because I know how the adverse effects it can have in your sex life. Last girl I saw was a one-night stand back in March, and everything worked fine then...
(this girl also has rule - no oral sex until we're in a committed relationship and get STD tests. So there's no sexy putting-condoms-on-with-her-mouth moves here)
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Wait. So penetration is fine, but oral isn't? Why? Because of an std? Like what? Cold sores isn't an std. Unless I'm missing something.
You could just not be sexually attracted to her.
You could just not be sexually attracted to her.
You're supposed to not know, but I'm right there with you. My ex has been with a guy for 4 months and has already pinned wedding stuff on her Pinterest. I've started Nc earlier this week, because it's destroying me. Don't become like I was and be obsessed with what she's doing, we've been split since last July and I haven't healed at all.
Yep. The risk of STD transmission via oral is much less than non-protected penetration, but the presence of any risk is enough for her. She calls herself a "hyper-paranoid biologist".
That I'm just not sexually attracted to her is definitely my biggest fear.
stn
Member
Focus on this. Your mind is bringing this up for a reason. People don't have doubts about being physically into someone unless they aren't. Are you or are you not physically into this girl? Answer that question and everything becomes straightforward.
ZackieChan
Member
I can't deny the truth there. If I was attracted to her, I would emphatically deny it as a reason, instead of considering it a possibility. That my answer isn't a "hell yes" makes it a "no".
It is when you're damn good at lying to yourself...but now that I'm honest with myself, time to be honest with her. I just hope things don't get weird at the weekly Boardgame meetup we're both a part of. Won't let that prevent me from doing what I need to do though. (won't be too honest, of course)
Do you guys think that someone in their late twenties shouldn't even attempt the dating market if they don't have a job/career yet?
I feel that it is stigma if you tell someone you're unemployed. They seem to look down with a grim look on their face. Priority should be getting a job/career first right?
I feel that it is stigma if you tell someone you're unemployed. They seem to look down with a grim look on their face. Priority should be getting a job/career first right?
Cold sores are a form of herpes.
Depends. What are you doing now? I will admit the lack of a job can hurt you at your age. But, are you in school or some sort of program? Any plans in general? A reason you aren't working? If you don't have a solid answer to any of those questions, then yeah, you might want to focus on getting that straightened out first.
No oral sex is a deal breaker. That would destroy me. Just climb into bed, kiss a bit, then plop your dick inside? So boring
Well I think that even if you are still in school, the lack of a job in your late twenties is still considered a stigma. I mean I gotten grim looks on people's faces when I told them I am unemployed.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
But it isn't an STD...the girl should fear kissing too if she's worried about hsv1 on her genitals.
It's not just herpes. Plenty of other STD's can be transmitted via oral sex to the person performing it (the one using their mouth). Syphilis can be transmitted via direct contact with a sore and Gonorrhea can infect your throat, among others. It's less risky than unprotected vaginal/anal sex, but far from zero-risk.
On a completely unrelated note, met my first person who doesn't identify as a gender today. I didn't know they exist outside of tumblr....
What did they identify as?
"Chris is just Chris" (not their real name). As I understand it, gender refers to the societal cookie-cutters placed on people based on sex, and they didn't feel as if either major gender adequately described their desired behaviour or activities. You also needed to use the correct pronouns to refer to them: "they, them, and their".
Etrian Oddity
Member
Just go with it. If you develop feelings then cool, if you don't it doesn't mean you're broken or a crappy person.
At least be happy for the sex. I'm on 8 dates with not much more than kissing. -_-
Did you get a date with them? 😏
Letting go is pretty hard to do. Even if you understand that the person is just not right for you.
I wish you good luck with that buddy. Let's make it!
Yo guys question, never been in this situation before so not sure what to do.
This girl I know frrom highschool just popped up on my facebook feed.
lets just say the passed few years really have been good on her.
Now how do I start talking to her after like 4 years? xD.
What's my opener? We didn't even talk that much in highschool.
This girl I know frrom highschool just popped up on my facebook feed.
lets just say the passed few years really have been good on her.
Now how do I start talking to her after like 4 years? xD.
What's my opener? We didn't even talk that much in highschool.
ZackieChan
Member
Comment on something on her feed that's relevant to you and gets you talking?
The whole health aspect is BS. She's using the promise of oral as a bargaining chip/carrot to dangle in front of you. Do what you like but I see this sort of person as a control freak that is trying to mold you and I wouldn't put up with anything like that.
"I've noticed that you have gotten a lot better looking since high school, so now I'd like to talk to you and I hope it leads to intercourse. What say you?"
Or just be normal and talk to her, like Zackie said something from her feed. Maybe she posts photos from some place that you've also been or she does an activity that you relate to? If not just say "hi, long time no see!"
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Sitting at a coffee shop last night, ready to get work done. Girl asks to sit with me, I oblige, we have a friendly chat. I don't find her attractive but she's friendly and we get along. Numbers were exchanged, she texts me later that evening and asks if I find her attractive, I reply "you're an attractive girl, always happy to make new friends".
Didn't know how else to respond in that instance. It took guts for her to approach me cold like that so I feel I owe her one date at least before I let her know it's not going to work out. I hope we can remain friends but I doubt she will want to
Didn't know how else to respond in that instance. It took guts for her to approach me cold like that so I feel I owe her one date at least before I let her know it's not going to work out. I hope we can remain friends but I doubt she will want to
I've got a lot on my plate lately and I need some advice/confirmation (or not).
Been seeing this cool, introverted girl for 3 weeks now. I'll call her Lee. Haven't done more than kiss and sleep in the same bed. This saturday she was at a show I organised. After the bands performed me and my buddy play a "DJ set". My "toxic" ex I talked about here was also present. Last time I organised a show, my ex was there as well, and I kissed a girl in front of her eyes. Shit hit the fan, and I complained about it here.
During our set she saw that Lee was talking to me, it made me feel uncomfortable because of what happened last time. My ex noticed this and decided to confront me. While I was behind the DJ booth. Spinning records. While people were having a good time to the music we played. I was taken by surprise and did not know how to react. I received a scolding, and she asked me why I didn't feel at ease. I replied truthfully before it started to dawn that I don't have to take that shit anymore. I kicked her out and continued the party. Party's over and we hit the local pub. Lee's there and so is my ex (but of course she is). She starts giving me shit again, I walk away, and then she starts giving me shit AGAIN. Me and Lee went home.
It messed me up pretty bad. I felt anger and despair. This has been going on for soooo long, and I've taken strides to eliminate her out of my life. My town is so small, there's no getting around meeting her from time to time. And that's when shit goes awry. It also made me doubt if I should be dating in the first place. Lee is great, pretty, smart, etc... But I just don't see myself being in a relationship. Not with her, not with anybody. My ex trying to provoke me makes me doubt myself even more.
Something different: A different girl asked me out for a drink too. What's the etiquette when dating 2 different girls? Do you tell them about eachother? Do I keep my mouth shut?
Been seeing this cool, introverted girl for 3 weeks now. I'll call her Lee. Haven't done more than kiss and sleep in the same bed. This saturday she was at a show I organised. After the bands performed me and my buddy play a "DJ set". My "toxic" ex I talked about here was also present. Last time I organised a show, my ex was there as well, and I kissed a girl in front of her eyes. Shit hit the fan, and I complained about it here.
During our set she saw that Lee was talking to me, it made me feel uncomfortable because of what happened last time. My ex noticed this and decided to confront me. While I was behind the DJ booth. Spinning records. While people were having a good time to the music we played. I was taken by surprise and did not know how to react. I received a scolding, and she asked me why I didn't feel at ease. I replied truthfully before it started to dawn that I don't have to take that shit anymore. I kicked her out and continued the party. Party's over and we hit the local pub. Lee's there and so is my ex (but of course she is). She starts giving me shit again, I walk away, and then she starts giving me shit AGAIN. Me and Lee went home.
It messed me up pretty bad. I felt anger and despair. This has been going on for soooo long, and I've taken strides to eliminate her out of my life. My town is so small, there's no getting around meeting her from time to time. And that's when shit goes awry. It also made me doubt if I should be dating in the first place. Lee is great, pretty, smart, etc... But I just don't see myself being in a relationship. Not with her, not with anybody. My ex trying to provoke me makes me doubt myself even more.
Something different: A different girl asked me out for a drink too. What's the etiquette when dating 2 different girls? Do you tell them about eachother? Do I keep my mouth shut?
ZackieChan
Member
You should really look into moving. How old are you?
I don't mention other girls or even discuss it, if I'm dating multiple women.
I don't mention other girls or even discuss it, if I'm dating multiple women.
- Status