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[Willco]

VS.

 

[Wellington]

BATMAN. No fucking contest.

Wait, how much prep time?

 

[Willco]

BATMAN. No fucking contest.

Wait, how much prep time?

One day. They battle at dusk. Jesus likes to rumble in the twilight.

 

[Felidae_Khrall]

They would never fight. - Draw.

If they did somehow fight, batman would beat the everloving snot out of Jesus. but Jesus would be ressurrected every time he got killed, so he would outlast batman because batman would eventually get old and die. And then get sent to hell for beating up on the Son of God.

Jesus > Batman.

 

[Matlock]

Batman would kick Jesus' ass. Jesus has one chance, and that's to bring back Thomas and Martha Wayne...but if he does that, Batman will get EVEN MORE PISSED and snap his foot off in the Son of God's ass.

 

[Greekboy]

I'd go with Jesus. He has too much love on his side and would talk his way out of anything.

Jesus>Batman.

 

[Wellington]

One day. They battle at dusk. Jesus likes to rumble in the twilight.

Well then it's no contest. Batman.

 

[Jim Bowie]

Dude, Jesus lasted over a month in the desert sans food. He brought people back to life. He fed a thousand people with some bread and fish. He kicked a whole temple's ass, collectively. Then he died and came back. I know Batman's fucking awesome, but I'm going to have to go with Jesus on this.

 

[Felidae_Khrall]

They would never fight. - Draw.

If they did somehow fight, batman would beat the everloving snot out of Jesus. but Jesus would be ressurrected every time he got killed, so he would outlast batman because batman would eventually get old and die. And then get sent to hell for beating up on the Son of God.

Jesus > Batman.

IAWTP

 

[Greekboy]

Yup and people always seem to see Jesus in various sitings around the world even today. The dude is immortal. Batman sitings? Only on VHS/DVD.

Jesus>Batman..again.

 

[sprsk]

batmans got batarangs jesus has hugs

Batman wins.

 

[jett]

THE POWER OF JESUS COMPELS YOU(and Batman)!

 

[Zaptruder]

Jesus would totally uppercut Batman, rip off his bat belt and shove his bat panties down his throat, before shoving a cross through Batman's left nut.

 

[Mermandala]

My money is on Batman but just consider this...

and this...

 

[Fifty]

Jesus' dad would beat the crap out of Batman's dad!

 

[DMczaf]

Michael Jordan with the run-in! OMG HE CLEANED HOUSE!

 

[Guzim]

Batman knows everything about Jesus and vice versa. But Batman wins when he does the Battusi.

 

[Poody]

I dont get why villans dont aim for batmans mouth when they fire a gun!

 

[Guzim]

I dont get why villans dont aim for batmans mouth when they fire a gun!

Because he'll catch the bullet with his teeth.

 

[ConfusingJazz]

I dont get why villans dont aim for batmans mouth when they fire a gun!

HEY, no logic, damn it!

 

[DCX]

Dude, Jesus lasted over a month in the desert sans food. He brought people back to life. He fed a thousand people with some bread and fish. He kicked a whole temple's ass, collectively. Then he died and came back. I know Batman's fucking awesome, but I'm going to have to go with Jesus on this.

Yeah but he doesn't have the Batmobile or the Batcave...or the Batwing...and most of all....the Bat signal...beat that.

DCX

 

[Felidae_Khrall]

Yeah but he doesn't have the Batmobile or the Batcave...or the Batwing...and most of all....the Bat signal...beat that.

DCX

God is his dad. He sends batman to hell.. Teh win.

But then.. batman would kick the crap out of Satan.. and Hell would be the new batcave....

 

[Pattergen]

dear willco the keyboards called they want their capslock back STOP USING CAPS

Ohhh!!! Snap!!

 

[Blackace]

Jesus would rule his ass...

 

[teepo]

i have that batman poster.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

Batman = Jesus

You heard it here first.

 

[ConfusingJazz]

But what about tag team action: Jesus and Moses versus Batman and Superman....*cue WWE style music*

 

[drohne]

kermit: jesus was a black man!
shaun ryder: no, jesus was batman!

 

[Mermandala]

Not as exciting as...

<--Silver Age Bateman

VS.

<--Gold Age Bee Gees

 

[DJ_Tet]

Not as exciting as...

damn Teen Wolf Two was horrible. No wonder it took Jason twenty years to recover...

I was a big fan of his in the Silver Spoons/It's Your Move/Hogan's Family back in the day, its good to see him recover from a flop of Teen Wolf Two preportions.

 

[Guzim]

But what about tag team action: Jesus and Moses versus Batman and Superman....*cue WWE style music*

Batman just hit Jesus with Sherrri's heel! And Jesus is out!

 

[demon]

Never underestimate what Christ is capable of...

 

[karasu]

Noody ever aims for anybody's mouth. It's like watching some guy fight a dude bigger and stronger than him and saying "Why doesn't he poke him in the eye".

 

[Dilbert]

kermit: jesus was a black man!
shaun ryder: no, jesus was batman!

"No, no, no, no -- that was Bruce Wayne!"

(GREAT song. You are my new favorite poster for dropping a Black Grape reference.)

 

[Chopin Trusty Balls]

Whoever wins,we lose.

 

[Pimpwerx]

Jesus, easily. Even if Batman wins today, Jesus will still be back in three days to finish the job. Pluse he rolls thick with apostles. PEACE.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

When the hell did batman start slingin webs? Does he crawl up the side of buildings now?

 

[pollo]

werd, he roll 12 deep

plus he got hoes screamin his name
Jesus

 

[levious]

damn Teen Wolf Two was horrible. No wonder it took Jason twenty years to recover...

I was a big fan of his in the Silver Spoons/It's Your Move/Hogan's Family back in the day, its good to see him recover from a flop of Teen Wolf Two preportions.

He was in Silver Spoons?

Hogan's Family was the continuation of Valerie after Rhoda left the show right?

 

[Litigation Manuel]

Now what if they evened it out a little: no gadgets for Batman, no miracles for Jesus?

I'm not sure which one would win then, Jesus had to be pretty strong being a carpenter and all, but Batman beat the crap out of guys pretty well.

 

[Leon]

Says it all, really.

 

[Iceman]

I will avoid taking Jesus' name in vain as much of you have...

But this is a great opportunity to explore the humanity of Jesus: Jesus was a breakable man. He was both 100% man AND 100% God but he was clearly birthed in order to die in a very human way. There were many attempts at his life but he had always managed to get away before any gangs and physical harm found him. There clearly is evidence of superhuman endurance both physically and mentally, going without food for 40 days in a desert. But there is clearly evidence that he could readily bleed and fatigue given enough violence.

If there were a person who could pull off the batman persona, one who had extensive martial arts training and pushed his body to the limits of human ability and was fueled by the brutal deaths of his two parents... I'd wager he could beat Jesus up no problem.

However, he could not kill him. No matter what he does. He'd be like the bullet dodger from Snatch. Jesus came to this world to die for the sins of the world not because Batman wants him dead. That's where that 100% God figure comes in. He is still the master and creator of this world and only he can decide whether he can die or not.

Jesus wouldn't fight back, he wouldn't be able to do any serious damage if he could but he would not die.

That's just as long as he's consistent with his personality.. and seeing as how he is God and he is, was and alway will be... he probably won't go a changing on a whim.

If he did he'd probably just unleash his army of angels and start opening up some scrolls on his foes.

I definitely wouldn't mess with the second coming of Christ though...